School Days

Chapter 11

IT WAS DARK by the time Pearl and I got home. The rain had stopped, but the air was still heavy with its threat. The first thing I did when we got into my apartment was feed Pearl. It prevented her from crying and following me around, bumping my leg with her head. Then I made myself a tall scotch and soda and took it with me and stood in the front window and looked down at Marlboro Street. It was wet from the day's rain, and the streetlights made it gleam. Up the street, a white Explorer pulled up, and a well-dressed woman got out and headed into one of the town houses on the city side of the street. Even in the dim light, I admired her backside as she walked up the front steps. She rang the bell. I studied her backside. After a moment, someone opened the front door and a runtish Jack Russell terrier came out and barked at her, and then ran back in and she followed. The door closed. The white Explorer pulled away. I drank some scotch and looked at my watch. It was 8:35. Here and in North Carolina. We usually talked before she went to bed. I drank some more scotch. Pearl came and looked out the window with me for a moment and didn't see anything to engage her. She turned away and went into the living room and got up on the couch.

The excitement of the woman with the good-looking butt had passed. Marlboro Street was peaceful again. I thought about calling Susan. It was early. Eleven o'clock was the more-or-less scheduled time. She probably wouldn't be there. Probably out to dinner with someone other than me. If I called and she wasn't there, it would make me feel a little unhappy twinge in the pit of my stomach. Better to wait.

I drank some scotch.

I couldn't think of any way I could possibly keep them from sending Jared Clark away for the rest of his life. He said he did it. He showed no remorse. And it was certainly hard to Iike him. Besides, he deserved to do some time for aggravated smirking. I had deposited the retainer, but I hadn't spent it. I could give it back to Mrs. Ellsworth and tell her the kid was guilty as charged.

My glass was empty. I went to my kitchen and added fresh ice and Dewar's and a lot of soda.

"Kid's a creep," I said to Pearl.

She opened her eyes on the couch and looked at me without raising her head. I sat on the livingroom side of my kitchen counter.

"I wonder if Mrs. Ellsworth knows that?"

Pearl seemed disinterested.

"She must have some idea," I said.

I drank some scotch.

"There's no one in there," I said to Pearl. "Unless it's all denial and bravado, and there's a scared little kid in there."

Pearl had no reaction.

"It doesn't feel like denial," I said. "It feels like empty."

I liked the way the tall glass looked with the pale scotch and soda over the slick ice, and the hint of moisture glossing the outside of the glass. I liked the way the ice felt against my upper lip when I drank.

"Malt does more than Milton can......" I said.

Pearl had heard me say it before.

"Always thought Auden said that until some guy corrected me at one of Susan's parties. He said it was Housman. I was scornful of the poor, dumb, pretentious bastard, but I felt in fairness I should look it up."

Pearl's breathing was steady on the couch. I wasn't sure she was listening.

"It was Housman," I said.

I drank some scotch. My apartment was thick with silence. The scotch made it seem full of portent.

"I hate when I'm wrong," I said.

Pearl took no notice.

"I can't tell her," I said.

Pearl shifted and stuck her feet in the air and leaned them against the back of the couch and looked at me upside down for a moment before she closed her eyes again.

"I don't actually know he's not innocent," I said.

"Why would he lie?"

"Maybe he's crazy."

"Maybe he's simply bad."

"Bad?"

"You don't believe in bad, how you going to believe in good?"

"You metaphysical devil."

Pearl's position as she slept had caused her mouth to fall open and her tongue to loll out the left side of it. I looked at her.

"Yeah," I said. "That's about where I am.