Score!

41

While Gablecross interviewed Helen and Wolfie, Ogborne had joined the mob swarming all over Valhalla, as they filmed, photographed and gabbled into tape-machines, describing everything they could see in the darkness.

Armed with Valentin’s lightweight video camera, Ogborne had turned up the brim of Hermione’s sunhat like a sou’wester. He was delighted to catch Alpheus leaving in a police car to collect his clothes, combing his rich auburn locks for the television cameras.

‘Where are you from?’ asked a BBC cameraman.

‘Bourbon Television,’ said Ogborne.

‘Never heard of it. Where’re they based?’

‘Paris,’ said Ogborne, who was now filming the paparazzi, who, like puppies fighting for their mother’s teats, were jostling each other to get a close-up of Wolfie, returning stony-faced from identifying the body.

‘News travels fast.’

‘Director’s a Frog, so’s most of the crew,’ explained Ogborne. ‘Huge story for us.’

‘We’re trying to sign up the mistress,’ said a reporter from the Mirror.

‘Which one?’ asked Ogborne. ‘He had lots.’

‘The big one.’

‘Hermione?’

‘That’s it. Know where she hangs out?’

‘What’s it worf?’

When two hundred readies had been thrust into Ogborne’s hand, he pointed to River House.

‘She’s very greedy,’ he called after the departing reporter. Why in hell hadn’t he become a cameraman before?

‘Great hat,’ said the man from the BBC.

‘They’re all the rage in Paris,’ said Ogborne. ‘You can have it for fifty quid if you like.’

Thoroughly overexcited by so many hunky young police officers talking softly into their mobiles and flashing their torches, Clive sought refuge in an ivy-clad ruin near the graveyard to ring Beattie Johnson.

‘Rannaldini’s been murdered. How much are you going to pay me for the memoirs and the photos?’

‘We’ve already been offered them.’ Beattie, like Rannaldini, adored giving pain.

‘Shit. By who?’

‘Wouldn’t you like to know? We’ll go with the cheaper. Talk to you in the morning.’

Possibly a million smackers the poorer, Clive switched off his mobile and froze as he saw a torch approaching like a will-o’-the-wisp from Hangman’s Wood. Beside him, Tabloid started growling and whimpering. Putting a hand down to quiet the dog, Clive felt the rigid bumps of his hackles. Then his own hair shot on end as he realized that the violet-tinged light was too big for any torch, and that it wasn’t attached to any policeman.

Bobbing past him, it went straight through a yew hedge to disappear among the dark holm oaks of the graveyard. Clive couldn’t breathe. He felt icy sweat trickle down his ribs under his leather jacket. Even if Rannaldini’s body was destined for months in the morgue, the violet light was trying to guide him to the graveyard to join Valhalla’s dead. The wind was getting up. Feeling, for once, in need of company, Clive raced towards the house.

Alpheus had just returned with his clothes to the drawing room when Ogborne wandered in, carrying a plate piled high with potato salad and chicken.

‘How can you eat at a time like this?’ snapped Alpheus, his mouth pursing and watering simultaneously.

‘Because it’s probably the last time I will eat here,’ said Ogborne philosophically. ‘Sexton had to dip into his own pocket to pay the wages last week, and now Rannaldini’s no longer here to fork out.’

‘But we’re all on contracts,’ spluttered Alpheus.

Finally tracking down Sexton on his car telephone, Bernard was able to tell him the sad news. Sexton immediately got the contract out of his briefcase and checked the small print. He then gave a whoop of joy: they were definitely insured against violent death. Without Rannaldini’s interference, they’d finish the movie twice as quickly and they could scrap those pompous beginnings and endings, include the polo — and he could be an extra in a Panama hat.

Wally, the chauffeur, looked on in amazement as Sexton leapt out of the now stationary car, did a little dance, punched the air and said, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah.’

‘Do we have cause for celebration?’ asked Wally.

‘We certainly do, tyrant’s been toppled.’

Sexton then checked his pocket computer and punched out a number. ‘I’d like to speak to Rupert Campbell-Black.’

‘He’s out,’ said a gruff, tearful voice. ‘No, no, he’s just come in.’

‘Yes?’ snapped Rupert.

‘Rannaldini’s been murdered,’ said Sexton.

‘So?’

‘We’ve run out of dosh, because he was making impossible demands. We’ve only got a week of night-shootin’ left, and then a day or two’s polo. Polo’s Tabiffa’s baby. Shame, if we had to junk it.’

There was a pause as Rupert did some sums.

‘I’ll come in if I can call the shots.’

‘Naturally,’ said Sexton.

Hanging up, he did another little dance.

‘Turn round, Wally. We’re going back to Valhalla. But don’t forget, Wally, we was in ’Olland Park all day, wasn’t we?’

‘Naturally,’ said Wally, who also liked the idea of being paid.

Outside in the darkness, an Evening Standard reporter screamed as she fell over Mikhail’s sleeping body under the weeping ash. ‘Sorry, sorry! D’you know anything about this murder?’

‘Vot murder?’

‘Someone’s killed Rannaldini.’

‘God is merciful,’ said Mikhail and went back to sleep.

The moment he escaped from Gablecross, Wolfie rang Rupert.

‘Mr Campbell-Black, this is Wolfgang Rannaldini. My father has been murdered.’

‘I know.’

‘I thought it wouldn’t look good to say he r-r-raped Tabitha, so I said Gertrude had been r-run over and Tab came home to comfort you and Mrs Campbell-Black.’

‘Good boy,’ said Rupert. ‘Well done, and thank you.’

Having given up her clothes, Flora looked like a preschool boy when she returned in Lucy’s striped pyjamas. Trevor lay on the floor beside her, legs stretched out like a frog.

As Clive and Tabloid entered the room, everyone reached mentally for their swords. Clive had been Rannaldini’s éminence grise, the devil’s right hand. For a second he and Tabloid hovered, two dogs without their master.

‘A favourite has no friend,’ murmured Flora.

Lucy leapt to her feet.

‘Sit next to me, Clive,’ she said. ‘I’ll get you a whisky.’

‘Fanks, Lucy,’ said Clive, a tinge of colour creeping into his waxy white cheeks. ‘Fanks very much indeed.’

It was strange that the three fearsome dog rivals for Sharon’s paw lay down beside each other without a murmur.

Clive was followed by Mr and Mrs Brimscombe, both looking aged and shaken. Mr Brimscombe had taken off his boots.

‘Pooh,’ said Pushy, noticing his grimy toenails protruding through the holes in his socks.

Flora jumped up and hugged them both.

‘This must be absolutely horrible for you, but don’t worry,’ she whispered. ‘I’m sure Lady Rannaldini’ll keep you on. I know Mum would snap you up in a trice if she wasn’t so broke.’

Griselda patted the sofa beside her.

‘Come and sit down, Mrs B. Fantastic chocolate roulade — I’ve had thirds. How’s Lady Rannaldini taking it?’

‘In a shocking state.’ Mrs Brimscombe lowered her voice. ‘Poor soul keeps crying and laughing. She won’t go to bed. I wish Dr Benson was here to give her something.’

She flinched as a flash of lightning pierced even the thickly lined blue curtains, followed by a deafening clap of thunder. Both James and Trevor leapt into their mistresses’ arms.

‘I expect they’ll drag the lake to find the murder weapon,’ Jessica could be excitedly heard telling Sylvestre.

‘The lake has dried up,’ said Mr Brimscombe bleakly.

At first it sounded like applause in extremely bad taste but the clapping grew louder and louder until they realized it was the rattle of rain on roof, window and very dry leaf.

‘It’s raining,’ screamed Flora, running out on to the terrace and thrusting her face up into the deluge.

‘Flora, Flora, Flora,’ shouted the paparazzi, simultaneously trying to shield their cameras and take a picture.

Everyone’s clothes and names and addresses had at last been taken. They could now go home or to bed. Night-shooting would start around six p.m.

‘I still haven’t been able to contact the DOP, the operator or the director,’ Bernard told Gablecross. ‘It’ll be a terrible shock to Tristan — Rannaldini was like a father to him.’

At that moment, a spectacularly good-looking young man wandered in. Rain had darkened and flattened his hair back from his forehead, throwing his angelic features into relief. A drenched duck-egg blue shirt and white jeans clung to his body. Only under the chandeliers could his grey complexion and red eyes be detected.

Montigny, assumed Gablecross.

‘Baby,’ cried Flora, shooting in through the french windows into his arms.

‘Hi, sweetheart,’ said the young man. Then, looking into her anguished eyes, ‘Hey, hey, what’s up with you?’

‘Bad news, I’m afraid,’ said Bernard. ‘Rannaldini’s dead.’

Baby didn’t miss a beat. ‘About time too,’ he said approvingly, and crossing to the drinks tray poured himself a large whisky and soda with a completely steady hand.

‘Murdered,’ said Alpheus sternly.

‘Really?’ Baby looked only mildly interested. ‘I’ll buy whoever did it a huge drink. Miracle it hasn’t happened before.’

‘At least show some respect for Lady Rannaldini,’ spluttered Alpheus.

‘“The widow howling for her dead husband”.’ Baby dropped his voice an octave to sing Mikhail’s line. ‘And she’s a very rich widow now, which should appeal to you, Alpheus.’

‘This is Detective Sergeant Gablecross, Baby,’ said Bernard hastily, ‘who’ll want to question you tomorrow.’

‘The Grand Inquisitor,’ sang Baby in amusement. ‘You’re so rugged, Sergeant, it’ll be a temptation to tell you everything.’

Totally undeterred by Gablecross’s black, pugnacious scowl, Baby went on, ‘For a start, all these people have a motive.’

‘Speak for yourself,’ roared Alpheus.

‘Undeclared tax and cuckoldry in your case,’ drawled Baby. ‘Sexual romps with ruminants in Chloe’s.’

‘I’ll kill you!’ screamed Chloe.

‘Jocking off in Isa Lovell’s case. Excessive cruelty in Helen’s, excessive cruelty to Tristan in Lucy’s.’

‘Stop it, Baby,’ yelled Lucy, blushing furiously.

Utterly unfazed, Baby turned back to Flora and drew her into an alcove.

‘Rannaldini had photographs of us making love on the lawn at Angels’ Reach,’ she said numbly. ‘He was going to blackmail George, and if George didn’t back off about the bypass, he was going to send them to Gordon Dillon and, as if that wasn’t enough, he said you were HIV positive.’

‘Glad he thought I was positive about something. That man was such a liar.’ Baby rubbed Flora’s hands to warm them. ‘You poor angel, what a terrible weekend you’ve had. But I promise you, I’m clean. I had a medical for an insurance policy last month. And, frankly,’ he added, pushing the rain-soaked tendrils back from her forehead, ‘we’ll finish twice as fast now the bastard’s dead. Then I can take you back to Oz, away from all this squalor.’

‘It’s too late,’ sobbed Flora.

Baby pulled her into his arms.

‘For God’s sake, a man has been murdered.’ Bernard tapped Baby furiously on the shoulder.

‘May he roast in peace,’ said Baby. ‘Unless you’re going to let me identify the body to make sure the conniving shit really is dead, I’m off to bed. One must always leave a party early to give everyone a chance to talk about one. Come on, Flora darling.’

The rumble of disapproval died on people’s lips as Helen appeared in the doorway in a long white nightgown.

‘I don’t know what to do about locking up,’ she told Gablecross, in a high, singsong voice. ‘Rannaldini’s not back yet and I hate leaving the front door open.’

Next minute, she was thrust aside by Miss Bussage who, having handed over her clothes, was now sporting a man’s dressing-gown, slippers and a hairnet that flattened her cropped hair. ‘The Maestro may have passed away,’ she called out defiantly, ‘but his genius lives on. I’ve got all his compositions and his last will on disk, not to mention a copy of his memoirs and duplicates of all the photographs.’

For a second, Gablecross noticed collective horror on everyone’s faces. Then there was a thud as Helen Rannaldini fainted.