Serengeti Storm

Chapter Eight

Caleb was really going to miss that little schoolgirl outfit. It was a real shame it had been demolished when they shifted. Shana had looked like a thousand kinds of sin in that getup.

She shifted restlessly in her sleep at his side before settling again. She’d always been an uneasy sleeper. Caleb stroked her hair, remembering the way it had flowed down her back, loose and wild and longer than that postage stamp of a skirt.

He’d buy her a new one.

Provided she stuck around long enough to try it on for him.

Caleb winced. Dawn was breaking through the storm after a night of the best sex of his life and he was already waiting for her to renege on her promise to stick with him this time.

So much for trust.

Shana stretched against him and gave a low purr. In the dim light, he saw her emerald eyes open and blink at him sleepily.

“Good morning, lover.” She kicked free of the sheets tangled around her ankles and flung one leg over his, draping herself across his chest, a blanket of warm, willing flesh.

Caleb combed his fingers through the disorderly mass of her hair. He longed to stay like this forever, in this quiet pocket of peace, but he knew it wouldn’t be long before the devil inside her spurred her to something they would both regret. A part of him was already braced for it. Waiting for the ax to fall.

Shana stacked her hands on his chest and propped her chin on them. “So, do you forgive me? I forgive you.”

Caleb frowned. So much for peace. “Forgive me for what? You told me to spank you.”

Shana rolled her eyes. “I liked the spanking. Obviously. I meant for before.” She gestured off into the distance, letting him know she didn’t mean the recent past.

“What before?” he asked warily, unsure what he was being forgiven for.

“For not challenging the Alpha. For not fighting for me.”

“Fighting for you would have gotten me killed. I was a kid.”

“You were strong enough,” Shana insisted. For a moment she fell silent, and he thought he might be able to drag her kicking and screaming back to that peaceful place. But then she spoke, her voice soft and sly. “You aren’t a kid now. You almost challenged Landon today. You could defeat him, Caleb. You could be Alpha.”

A veil of red fell over his vision as anger coursed through his veins. She was still trying to manipulate him. Still trying to turn him into her own personal mercenary. Will fight for sex.

Disappointment and frustration warred with anger, but it was the anger that won, tightening every muscle in his body.

She would never change. No matter what sweet words she gave him, no matter how many different ways she found to tell him she loved him, he would never be more than a tool to her. A means to an end. Her love would always be a lie.

Caleb felt like a thousand kinds of fool. He had almost believed her this time. She’d almost had him.

“Is that what this is about?” The words felt like jagged shards of glass leaving bloody tracks as they dragged themselves out of his throat. “You thought you could fuck me into challenging Landon?”

“What?” Shana blinked at him, wide-eyed and innocent. “No.”

He didn’t buy her act for a second. He shoved her off him and quickly stood, grabbing his discarded jeans and yanking them on. “I’m never gonna be Alpha, Shana,” he growled roughly. “I don’t want to be. I may be stronger than Landon, but we’ll never find out, because I’m never going to challenge him. Never. I’m not a leader. I never have been. You’ve always known that, but you could never get it through your thick head that I’m not going to change. I’m not going to become the perfect Alpha just because you have some twisted need to be the Alpha’s mate.”

Shana pulled the sheet up in front of her, the move modest and distinctly out of character. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“How did you mean it?” He held up his hand to stop her before she could reply. “Don’t answer that. I don’t want to hear whatever lies you dig up.”

“I’m not lying!” She threw down the sheet, kneeling on his bed, wearing only her hair and her indignation.

“No? Then tell me you don’t want me to challenge Landon.”

Shana hesitated, her eyes flicking down to the mattress.

“You can’t say it, can you?” Caleb shook his head. “I should have known. It was always about finding someone strong enough to best the Alpha. You never wanted to be with me. And, you know what, Shay? The feeling’s mutual. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I’ve had enough.”

“Caleb, I did want you! I do!” she shouted, but the door had already slammed behind him.

Snow and ice covered every surface after the night’s storm, but Caleb didn’t feel the cold. He shifted into his lion form and ran, trying to outrun Shana’s hold on him. Fearing he never would.

Shana took her lioness form, needing the comfort of her fur wrapping around her.

He’d left her. Again.

She’d confessed her feelings, did the whole mushy Dr. Phil crap, and he’d fucked her brains out. But, at dawn, he’d still run out on her so fast, he’d practically left skid marks. What did a girl have to do to get a man to stick around past breakfast? One lousy little comment—one extremely true comment—about the fact that he could be Alpha any time he wanted to be and he completely lost his shit.

Shana slashed her claws through his sheets, but the tantrum did nothing for her mood. She still wanted to claw and bite and savage something until it was unrecognizable. Preferably something live and twitching.

He hadn’t really meant that. About being done with her. About having had enough. He couldn’t have meant it.

Her throat and eyes felt tight. Goddesses don’t cry.

Shana ran out of Caleb’s bungalow before the growing urge to destroy something overpowered her and she demolished his furniture. She ran across the compound on four paws, through the heavy snow that had fallen the night before. The Storm of the Century had finally hit.

She leapt onto the snowdrift-covered porch of her borrowed bungalow, freezing in her tracks when she scented a male lion waiting for her inside.

Not Caleb.

She hoped whoever it was wanted a fight, because her claws were itching to oblige.

Shana shouldered open the door and stalked in, belly low and hackles high. Landon, in human form, rose from the chair he’d been waiting in. The Alpha stared her down. From the look in his eye, he was all too willing to give her the fight she wanted.

For a brief, reckless moment, Shana wondered what it would feel like to go for his throat. She wondered if he would be able to shift before her teeth closed around his throat, their sharp points easily piercing the vulnerable human softness of his skin. How would he fight back? Would he try to overpower her with his size and strength, giving her the advantage of speed and flexibility? Could she defeat him?

The thought swirled in her brain like alcohol fumes, teasingly toxic.

Shana shook it away and shifted form. Landon averted his eyes as she went to grab a pair of jeans and a sweater.

“It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before,” she drawled as she yanked on the tight denim.

“And every time you remind me of that, I wonder why I haven’t already thrown you out of this pride.”

Shana snorted, unimpressed by the threat. “You can’t do that. It would ruin your whole I-accept-you-you-accept-me bullshit plan for us.”

The Alpha’s jaw locked. “It isn’t bullshit.”

She turned back to face him, shoving her sweater sleeves up as she folded her arms beneath her breasts. “You’re asking us to ignore hundreds of years of tradition and a hierarchy of strength that is as natural to us as breathing. It’s bullshit.”

“Equality is natural too.”

Shana laughed out loud at that little gem. “Are you freaking kidding me? Equality isn’t even natural to the humans. The drive to dominate, to win, is natural. This whole kumbaya crap is an attempt to overcome our natural urges. Not an extension of them.”

Landon was silent for a long moment, studying her. There was an oddly speculative gleam in his eyes. And something else. Something soft. Mushy. Like the way he looked at Ava. The way Caleb used to look at her.

“What?” she snarled.

He shook his head. “I was just thinking how lucky I am not to have chosen you as my mate.”

“Yeah, well, the feeling’s mutual, asshole.”

Landon sighed. “You can’t call the Alpha an asshole, Shana.”

“Oh, yeah? You’re not a big fan of freedom of speech, then? Just equality. No freedom. I get it.”

He wiped a hand across his eyes, groaning. “I didn’t come here to argue with you. Ava told me about you and Caleb.”

Shana’s eyebrows flew up. “Your wife told you about my sex life? That must have been a real bonding moment for you two. Was it good for you?”

Landon ignored her snide remark. “He won’t fight me for you,” he said. “No matter what you do to him. Caleb’s loyal and he doesn’t want to be Alpha.”

Shana’s temper spiked. “God, what is it with you guys? That isn’t what I want anymore, get it? How long are you going to punish me for the actions of the past?”

“The past?” Landon asked in disbelief. “We’re talking about yesterday. You told him to challenge me in front of the whole pride.”

“Yeah, but that was yesterday. Past. I’ve got a new game plan now.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. You and your game plans.”

“I don’t care about being the Alpha’s mate anymore,” Shana insisted, wondering as she said it if the words were actually true. They didn’t feel true, but she wanted them to be. She wanted to just want Caleb. She wanted to not be twisted and power hungry.

“Look, Ava tells me your mom is no picnic—”

“Don’t you talk about her,” Shana snarled, her claws flashing out as anger boiled hot in her veins.

Landon raised his hands in surrender, but his words continued, relentlessly. “Ava’s worried about Caleb. She doesn’t want you hurting him. And as long as you’re tangled up in your mother’s power plays, someone’s going to get hurt.”

“You’re asking me to choose between Caleb and my mother.”

“I’m asking you to think about what you’re doing and who it’s benefiting—if anyone—before you go starting any more fights.”

Shana’s blood cooled as the logic of what he was saying slowly penetrated her anger. “My mother would never do anything to hurt me,” she said, even though the words felt like sawdust on her tongue.

Landon didn’t call her a liar. Her estimation of him rose a few notches.

“Look, I believe in second chances,” he said. “This is my second chance at a healthy pride and I’m going to make it work. But the thing about second chances is they don’t work if you’re carrying a grudge. Forgetting is a bitch, but you’ve got to at least try the forgiveness part or you’ll never get away from your past.” He moved past her to the door, pausing at the threshold. “If you want to get away from it.”

After the Alpha disappeared out the door, Shana dropped down onto her bed, drawing her knees up to her chest.

She’d asked Caleb to forgive her that morning and he’d thrown it back in her face. What the hell else was she supposed to do? She couldn’t make him forgive her. It wasn’t like she could fight him for his forgiveness.

She’d offered to let him spank her—which had actually been damn hot—but that hadn’t earned her any brownie points on the forgiveness scale. What did he want from her?

Anger boiled up again, hot and thick in her veins.

No one was satisfied. Caleb, the Alpha, her mother. Shana wasn’t good enough for any of them.

The anger swirled around, seeking a target, finally settling on her mother.

It was her fault. If she hadn’t filled Shana’s head with tradition and her rightful role, none of this would have happened. Shana would have stuck with Caleb, happily paired off with him at the age of sixteen. She wouldn’t be the wretched mess she was today, alone and likely to remain that way.

The anger burned, its acid turning in on her. Shana fisted her hands, her claws digging bloody gouges into her palms. The pain was welcome, the scent of blood hot and thick in her nostrils. Brenna had done this. She’d ruined her.

Then, suddenly, Shana realized what the Alpha had meant. Caleb wasn’t the problem. He wasn’t the one who needed to forgive. She was.