6
I was dizzy. I think it was the fumes. All night the kettle had cooked its immense blend of golden glaze, such a huge amount of gold and lead and whatever else went into it. The perfume was rich and delicious and I reeled.
“They stood me on my feet.
“I shook myself all over to waken more, to make the lamps stop hurting my eyes. That was sunlight, wasn’t it? Asenath was there, and then the priests began to apply the gold. They began at my feet, telling me to stand straight and firm, and they covered my legs all over with the gold, painstakingly, in motions that were almost soothing. It was warm, but it didn’t hurt. It held no sting whatsoever. They painted my face slowly. They brought the paint up into my nostrils, and they covered my eyelashes, one by one, and then they took the ringlets of my hair and my beard and one by one made them golden.
“By now I was fully awake.
“ ‘Keep your eyes wide,’ said Asenath.
“Then they brought all the fine robes of Marduk. Now these were real clothes which were put on the statue every day, but I saw now what they meant to do, not trim them with gold but to coat them, so that indeed I would seem a living statue.
“They dressed me, and this they began to do, painting each fold of the long robe, the long full sleeves, and asking me again and again to raise my arms and to walk as they did their work.
“I stood before a minor. I saw myself and I looked like the god. I saw the god.
“ ‘You are the god!’ said a young priest to me. ‘You are our god and we will serve you forever. Smile on me, Lord God Marduk, please.’
“ ‘Do it,’ said Asenath. ‘You see, the enamel must not harden too fast. We can’t have it become brittle. And each time it does become too hard, the priests will add more to that place so that you can move the muscle. Smile, open your eyes and close them, that’s right, my beautiful boy. That’s right. Do you hear that noise?’
“ ‘It sounds like the entire city roaring,’ I said. I heard the trumpets too, but I didn’t speak of that.
“ ‘I am dizzy!’ I said.
“ ‘We will hold you,’ said the young priest. ‘Cyrus himself will hold you, your attendants will hold you. Remember, take his hand, hold his hand. Turn to him often, and kiss him. The little gold from your lips will not harm his skin. You must do it.’
“Within seconds we were high on the wagon, and all around me I saw the layers of flowers—every fine flower that can be grown inside or out in Babylonia, and flowers brought in from places far away, the blooms of Egypt and southern islands.
“We were in a war chariot atop this wagon, but the chariot’s wheels were fixed, and the attendants stood lower and behind us, and holding me firmly by the waist. And one on the side held me also by the waist. And Cyrus mounted the chariot.
“Screams and cries came from everywhere. The gates had been open all the time. The people flooded in. The Procession had begun. I blinked. I tried to see. I saw the petals flying through the air, pink and red and white, and I smelled the incense rising. I looked down, feeling a stiffness in my neck and I saw all the priesthood and all the women of the temple prostrating themselves on the great tiled floor of the courtyard. The white mules began their slow march forward.
“In a daze I turned and looked at the King! How splendid and beautiful he looked.
“Just as we passed through the gates, there came the loudest shrieks and cries. The Hebrews were on the rooftops. I looked.
It was a haze. But I could hear them singing the psalms of Zion. The faces were small and distant.
“The wagon picked up speed, as much speed as a giant wagon can get, which is not much, but we were rolling steadily, you might say, and I held to the edge of the chariot with one hand, letting my golden fingers curve around it, and then I reached out as if by instinct, for no one told me, and I put my hand into Cyrus’s hand and gave him the first kiss.
“The crowd was in ecstasy. Every house along the Processional Way seemed a living thing in itself, with life screaming from its windows and its roof, and life pressed up against its door, and in every side street people sang and waved palms and again and again I heard the Hebrew music. The Hebrew music followed us.
“I don’t remember when we crossed the great canal, though I think I did see the dazzle of the water. The attendants were holding me firmly and telling me harshly to be strong.
“ ‘You are my god, Marduk,’ said Cyrus. ‘Bear with them, they are fools. Hold my hand, my god. For now, we are King and god and no one can deny it.’
“I smiled, and again I bent forward to kiss his cheek and again the screams of joy surged through the crowd. We were approaching the river. We would now be placed in the boat, and taken to the House of the Ordeal with Tiamat, the god’s great battle with chaos. And what would that be?
“I was as one so drunk it simply didn’t matter. I could feel the gold hardening all over me. And I could feel it caressing me as they said it would. I had anchored my feet fairly well at last and the attendants had their grip, and Cyrus’s living hand held warm and tight to mine, and he waved and bowed and shouted a thousand greetings to the eager citizens of Babylon.
“A funny thought came to me as the boat moved up the river. There were crowds on all sides. And I thought, ‘He thinks this is all for him, Cyrus. And it’s really just Babylon. Babylon having a big party or festival like it does so often, but he’s never seen the city going crazy with dance and drink, and so he is very impressed. Well, let him enjoy it.’ Only dimly did I realize, I had not seen my family. They had been there, I was sure, but I had not seen them.
“The House of the Ordeal was splendidly plastered in silver and emerald and rubies. The pillars were gold and made to look like great lotus blossoms at the top. The middle of the roof was wide open, and all around us were crowded hundreds upon hundreds of noble Babylonians, the rich, great officials from other cities, priests who had come with their gods to Babylon for safety, and also hundreds upon hundreds of Cyrus’s court, so like us, yet so different. Taller, leaner, more trim, and more sharp of eye.
“Suddenly I stood alone in the midst of the open court. Everyone had backed away. Remath stood beside me, and on the other side, the young compassionate priest.
“ ‘Lift your arms,’ said the priest. Take your sword from the scabbard.’
“ ‘Sword, I didn’t know I had one.’
“ ‘You do,’ said the young priest eagerly. ‘Ah, yes, raise it high.’
“I scarcely knew whether I obeyed. The world was swimming before me. The nobles were chanting and harps were playing, and then I heard a sound I knew, knew from many spectacles of the past, and from the hunts with my father and brother. I heard the roar of lions, caged lions.
“ ‘Don’t fear,’ said Remath. ‘These animals are satiated and filled with potions that make them sluggish and they will come one by one as they are released, and they will rise as they have been trained to lick the honey from your lips, which I will put there now, honey and blood, and when they do, you will drive your sword into them.’
“I laughed. ‘And you, where are you going to be?’ I asked.
“ ‘Right here, beside you,’ said the young priest. ‘This is nothing, Lord God Marduk, these lions want to die for you.’
“He lifted a chalice to my lips. ‘Drink the honey and the blood,’ he said.
“I did, barely able to feel myself swallowing. I realized suddenly that almost all sensation had left my skin, I was as one in bitter cold night desert wind. But I swallowed and he gave me more until my tongue and lips were coated with blood and honey.
“A terrible excitement ran through the crowd. I could see the fear. The first lion had been released and came towards me. The Persians were backing up against the walls, I think. I could feel the fear, smell it. And I laughed again. ‘This is so funny,’ I said. ‘I’m half-dead and this lion is staggering towards me.’
“Suddenly, the lion sprang, and the two priests had to hold me so that the lion’s weight didn’t throw me backwards. I lifted the sword. I called on the gold enamel to give me strength and I drove the sword into the lion’s heart. His hot foul breath blew into my nostrils and his tongue touched my lips, and then he fell over, awkward, dead, and the crowd sang and sang and sang of courage.
“Now the King came to my side, and he too had his sword, and I saw that as the second lion and third lion were released that we were to kill them together. The King’s face was as rigid as mine, and he narrowed his eyes at the beast. ‘They have plenty of life in them, it seems to me,’ he said.
“ ‘Ah, but you’re a King and I’m a god, so let’s kill them.’
“Behind them the priest cracked the whip which made one lion jump for Cyrus first and he staggered back as he drove the sword and then kicked the animal away from him. The lion rolled on its back roaring, dying. The second beast was in my face. I felt the priest lift my wrist. ‘Thrust now!’ I did. I thrust more than once wanting the thing dead and off me.
“And once again, all sang, and cheered, and I could hear the crowds outside singing and cheering. I saw the lions lifted and carried out. I heard the song of the priest of the slaying by Marduk of the evil Tiamat.
“ ‘And from her hide he made the heavens and the earth and the seas…’ the words rang out in the old Sumerian. And then in Akkadian, and then in Hebrew, and it was like overlapping waves of sound, and I swam in them.
“I stood alone in the court. The priests were painting me with the blood and honey. ‘They cannot hurt you,’ said Remath.
“ ‘What?’ I asked. But I knew. I could hear them as distinctly as the beasts. It was the bees. And now as a great silken dragon proceeded towards me, tightly sewn with spindly gold ribs and controlled by those who worked it on sticks, I saw it was full of bees. The dragon was wrapped around me, and I was enclosed in a silken tent. Its tail even covered my head. I heard the sound of ripping fabric. The bees were loosed on me and covered my body over. I was filled with loathing. But my feet were frozen in place. And the stings of the bees did not penetrate the gold, and when they came near my eyes I only closed my eyes, and gradually I realized the bees were dying. They were dying from their own sting and from the poison perhaps in the gold. I heaved a great sigh.
“ ‘Keep your eyes open,’ cried Remath.
“And when all the bees had fallen, and the great silken dragon, now collapsed, had been offered to me to rip with my sword there came the cries again.
“I was being carried up the stairs, to the roof. I could see out over the open fields. I could see the crowds going on and on forever. I lifted my arm with my sword, I lifted it again and again, turning to the east, and the west, and the north, and the south, and lifting it and smiling, and the crowds sang back to me. All the earth sang back to me.
“ ‘It is so very beautiful,’ I said, ‘so indescribably beautiful.’ But there was no one to hear me. The fresh air waked me a little, touching my nostrils and my throat, and cooling my eyes. The priestesses of the temple surrounded me, throwing flowers in the air, and then I knew I was being led away to the royal couch.
“ ‘You can have as many as you want, but I advise you to sleep,’ said Remath.
“ ‘Yes, good idea. And how do you keep me from dying?’
“ ‘I can hear your heart. You will live long enough to make the journey home. You are stronger than anyone imagined.’
“ ‘Then give me a harlot,’ I said.
“Everyone was upset. ‘Well?’ I said.
“The harlots screamed with delight. I beckoned for them to come. But I couldn’t do it with them. I could only take each one in my arms and plant a poison kiss on her grateful upturned sweet little mouth and send her away in swoons, to wipe off the kiss, I hoped, as soon as she could. I laughed deep in my chest with my lips closed.
“Other things were done that night, but I slept. Fire, poetry, dances, things I never saw.
“I slept. I stood, resting back at a tight angle so that I seemed to be supporting myself, and with my eyes open, painted open now with fresh gold, so that I could not close them, but I slept.
“The world seemed a pit of madness. Now and then I woke to see the flames and the dancing figures. Now and then I heard some whisper or sound. Or heard running feet and felt human hands clasp me.
“Once I think I saw the King dancing below. I saw the King dancing with the women in a great strange slow dance, figures turning ceremoniously and then the King threw up his arms and bowed down to me. But nothing was required of me. The smile was fixed on my face now by the hardened gold. And only when I laughed did I feel the flesh tingle.
“At noon, the following day, as we began the procession back into the court of Esagila, I knew for sure I was dying. I could scarcely move at all. The attendants, under the cover of silk scarves and robes, fiercely painted the gold fluid on my knees to keep them flexible, but they didn’t want the people to see. And I was not tired so much as stunned, staring at those before me.
“We came now to the gates…we went into the courtyard, where the great poem ‘In the Beginning’ would be read, and the actors would begin their pageant. I felt a sadness suddenly, a terrible sadness and confusion. Something was wrong.
“But all of a sudden as if it were the answer to a prayer, the thing was made right. I heard my father singing. I heard him and my brothers:
‘I will make a man more precious than fine
gold; even a man than the golden
wedge of Ophir.’
“I struggled to hear it more clearly, their blessed familiar voices:
‘Thus saith the Lord to his anointed, to
Cyrus, whose right hand I have holden,
to subdue nations before him…’
“ ‘Turn your head to them, Lord God Marduk,’ said Cyrus. ‘It is your father, singing with all his heart.’
“I turned. I saw nothing but a blur of waving arms, of garlands tossed in the air, of flowers falling, but I heard my father:
‘I will go before thee, and make the
crooked places straight.…
And I will give thee the treasures of
darkness, and hidden riches of secret
places, that thou mayest know that I, the
Lord, which call thee by thy name, am
the God of Israel.’
“The singing went on and on, following us to the gates of the temple. And then came the shouts, ‘Messiah, Messiah, Messiah!’ And Cyrus waved and threw them his kisses, and at last it was time for the coronation.
“We were taken down from the chariot and the wagon, and walked on a bed of flowers up and up the seemingly endless stairway of the great ziggurat Etemenanki, so that the people from far off could see us through the wide gates. I thought I might die before I reached the top; I couldn’t look above, only at the golden stairs before me and I thought of the stairway to Heaven which Jacob had seen in his dream with the angels coming and going.
“At last we stood on the summit, the mountain made by and for the god, and I was given the crown. By now it seemed I did not control my limbs at all. I felt nothing. I smiled because it was easiest to smile, and my arms ached suddenly with tiredness as I lifted the big Persian crown of gold and placed it on the head of the Living King.
“ ‘Now may I die,’ I whispered. Exhaustion overcame me. My knees were in pain, my feet, all of me that could no longer move or stand with any freedom.
“Distinctly I saw the loving eyes of Cyrus, I saw the solemnity in his face, I saw…the dedication to Kingship in him. I saw perhaps a little of a King’s madness.
“Slyly and cleverly the priests crowded around me and painted me over and over that I might move my limbs, and some vitality came back to me. ‘Keep your eyes open,’ Remath said. ‘Keep your eyes open.’
“I did. We were taken down to the courtyard. The banquet lasted for hours. I know the poets came and they sang, and I know that the King dined and all the nobles dined. But I sat rigid staling. My eyes wouldn’t close now whatever I did. They had been stupid to add paint. They only softened the lids when they did, I thought to myself, and I looked down at my hands lying on the table, and I thought, ‘Marduk, I have never once called on you.’
“His voice came in my ear. ‘You have had no need of me, Azriel. But I’m with you.’
“Finally it came to an end. Darkness had fallen. It was finished. The King was crowned, Babylonia was Persia, the city was drunk beyond the palace gates and the temple gates, and within these two buildings others drank and sang.
“ ‘Now,’ said the young priest, ‘we will carry you up to the shrine. You need walk no more. You need only take your place at your banquet table there, and if you do not die within a few hours we will give you the gold in your mouth.’
“ ‘Not quite yet,’ said Remath. ‘Follow me and quickly, for we have one more ritual to perform and it must be done properly.’
“The young priest was confused. So was I but I didn’t care. I didn’t give a damn. I didn’t care at all. I was slumbering already, and when I saw the vague shapes of the dead hovering about, staring at me in fear, I was pleased. I would have thought they would have come thundering down upon me like an army and dragged me out of my gold clothes and said, ‘Come stumble through eternity with us!’ but they didn’t.
“Suddenly I felt an unbearable heat. I saw a huge fire. I thought I heard my father’s voice, but I wasn’t sure, and then I heard Asenath say,
“ ‘It is powerful powerful magic! Do you want him to die! Give it to me!’
“For one brief second I saw my father, and in confusion, he gave over to her the old tablet, in its clay envelope. ‘Azriel!’ he called out. He reached beyond her, towards me.
“I wanted to speak but I was past it. I couldn’t do anything.
“The doors were slammed shut on my father and on the world.
“We were in a chamber with a hot, hot fire, the cauldron full of gold boiling, and the air almost impossibly hot. And Asenath then broke the clay envelope of the old tablet. She just smashed the outer clay as if it was nothing, and then she held up the secret tablet to the light of the torch.
“I was standing on my own, too rigid to move, too rigid to fall, stating at them. I wasn’t even too horribly afraid of the fire. What were they doing, Remath and the old woman? Where was the High Priest? Hadn’t I glimpsed him now and then?
“And then Asenath began to read, but this was not Sumerian, it was Hebrew, old old Canaanite Hebrew.
“ ‘…and that he should see his own death and that he should see his soul, his tzelem and his spirit and his flesh all boiled together in the bones, to live in the bones, forever, only to be called forth by the Master who knows his name, and calls his name…
“ ‘No!’ I screamed. ‘That is not a charm! That is Hebrew. That’s a curse. You lying witch.’
“The gold covering on me cracked all over as I sprang with all my drunken strength at her, but she backed up like a dancer and Remath had me by the throat. I was as stupefied and weak as those lions who had come against it.
“ ‘You witch, that’s a curse,’ I said.
“ ‘That he shall see all of him that is visible and invisible and all fluids of his body boiled down into the bones, and that he shall be bound to those bones and whoever is Master of those bones, and that he shall not be taken into the darkness of Sheol nor the eternal life of God forever and ever.
“ ‘Marduk!’ I screamed.
“I felt myself heaved backwards, and thrown into the boiling gold. I screamed and screamed. It was unthinkable. It was not possible that I could know such pain. It was not possible that such a thing could happen to me, that boiling gold should choke my mouth and cover my eyes!
“And when I thought I would go blank mad, blank mad with horror and pain, with nothing of human thought left, I shot upwards out of the cauldron, free-floating above the body that was slumped and boiling in the pot, with only one open eye above the bubbling gold. The body that had been mine! And I was not in it.
“I was there above, arms outstretched, staring down. And I saw the face of Asenath upturned.
“ ‘Yes, Azriel,’ she screamed, ‘watch, watch the gold boil, watch the flesh fall from your bones, watch the bones become the gold, don’t take your eyes off it, lest you be drawn back down into agony and death.’
“ ‘Marduk,’ I cried.
“ ‘It’s your choice,’ he said. ‘Go back down into that cauldron of pain and you die.’ His voice was broken or sad. I realized that he was below me. He stood looking up.
“And for the first time he looked small to me and simple. Not grand or godly. And Asenath was just an old fool of a woman. And Remath staring at the body sinking into the bubbling pot was jumping up and down and making his hands into fists and cursing and screaming.
“There was no time. There was no decision. Or maybe it was pure cowardice. I could not go down into that pain. I could not be boiled alive. I could not bear that such a thing would happen to any human being. I watched and I watched, and the flesh floated loose in the golden muck and the skull floated to the top, and the pot boiled and boiled and boiled and the room grew denser and denser with steam.
“Asenath was choking. She could not breathe, and she fell forward on her face. Remath stood staring at the pot. And Marduk merely looked up at me with wonder.
“At last the pot was empty save what was left of me. Remath kicked and poked at the fire to put it out. He drew as close as he could to the hot metal and he looked down at the heap of golden bones that lay in the bottom of the pot. The cloth was gone, it had dissolved, the flesh was gone, it had dissolved, the liquid was gone, it had dissolved. Only the bones were left and in this sealed chamber all the fumes and particles of what had been my body. And the bones were all gold.
“ ‘Call it to you, spirit,’ said Remath. ‘Call the flesh to you, call it to you now from all the world, call it from the depth of the bones and from the air to which it has tried to flee, call it.’
“I moved downwards and stood on my feet. In the thick torturous steam, I saw I had a body. It was vapor. But it was mine, and then it grew denser and denser.
“Marduk took a step backwards, shaking his head.
“ ‘What is it? Why do you do that?’ I asked.
“ ‘Oh gods of old, Remath,’ said Marduk, ‘what have you and the witch wrought?’
“Remath roared, ‘You are mine, Servant of the Bones, for I am the Master of the Bones. You will obey me. You will obey.’
“Marduk backed up against the wall, staring at me in perfect fear.
“Remath grabbed a heavy bunch of cloth from the couch to protect his hands and with this he managed to throw over the cauldron. The bones spilled out and what did not spill he reached for, hurt by the heat until he had all the bones on the floor.
“ ‘Wake up, old woman!’ he screamed. ‘Wake up! What do I do now!’
“I stood beside him. My body was dense as if it were living. It was pinkish and vivid as his body, but it wasn’t real. It didn’t feel real. It had no heart, no lungs, no soul, no blood; it had only the shape that my spirit gave to it, down to the last detail.
“ ‘Look, fool,’ I said, ‘Asenath is dead. If you want to know what to do, you’d better bring that tablet to me, I am the only one here who can read the old Canaanite words.’ ”