Seven for a Secret

The Elopement

The day after the ball Tamarisk and I were invited to tea at the Bell House. I could never enter the place without marvelling at the change in it. I had the impression that the object had been to remove all trace of its previous occupant. There was only the grim stable door to remind me. It was locked, I saw, and I wondered whether anyone even went in there now.

I was soon immersed in conversation. Tamarisk told us of her triumphs.

The ball had been a great success; her mother was delighted. She had said it was quite like old times and they must do it again.

Tamarisk had danced six times with Gaston Marchmont. Wasn’t it a shame, though, he was going off that very day to Scotland to deal with his estates there.

“Will he ever come back, I wonder?” I said.

Both Tamarisk and Rachel looked at me in amazement.

“Of course he will!” cried Tamarisk.

“He must,” said Rachel.

Daniel came in while we were having tea. He sat down near Rachel and I asked if he had enjoyed the ball.

“I believe it went off very well,” he replied cautiously.

“Everyone seemed to think so.”

“It was a great success,” Tamarisk assured him.

Aunt Hilda came in and I kept thinking of her as she used to be, with that apprehensive look on her face, without the pretty dress and the comb in her hair. How different Mr. Grindle must be from Mr. Dorian.

Crispin was right. What was good for so many people could not be wrong.

I noticed Tamarisk was cool with Daniel. She could not forgive him for paying more attention to Rachel than he did to her.

Jack Grindle joined us. He told us he had driven Gaston Marchmont to the station and had seen him on the train to London.

“He’ll be going straight to Scotland,” he said.

“There seems to be some business up there which he has to settle.”

“He’ll be back,” put in Tamarisk confidently.

“I imagine he’s a very busy man. He says he’ll come again and stay awhile. He enjoyed his stay very much,” went on Jack, ‘and it was fun having him. He livened us all up a bit. “

“He certainly did,” agreed Tamarisk, with a smile.

I wondered if she knew more about Gaston Marchmont’s plans than the rest of us.

Perhaps she did, for three weeks later Gaston Marchmont did return. He went to the Grindles’ farm and asked if he could stay for a bit. If it were not convenient, he could of course put up at an hotel but he had so enjoyed staying with them before, so perhaps for a little while he could be with them.

Jack said they would be delighted and certainly he must stay with them. They would be quite hurt if he did not.

It was some five days since Gaston Marchmont had returned. I had seen very little of him during that time. I was helping Aunt Sophie in the garden when I heard the sound of horse’s hoofs and the next moment Lily came running into the garden.

“Mr. St. Aubyn’s here,” she said.

“He wants to see Miss Fred.”

Crispin was already coming into the garden.

“Tamarisk has gone,” he said.

“Have you any idea where?”

“Gone!” cried Aunt Sophie.

“Gone where?”

“That’s what I want to find out.” He was looking at me.

“Do you know where she might be?”

“I? No.”

“I thought she might have told you.”

“She hasn’t told me anything.”

“Well, she is not at home. She must have left late last night. Her bed hasn’t been slept in.”

I shook my head.

“I saw her yesterday and, yes, she did seem excited.”

“Didn’t you ask her what about?”

“No. She usually told people if there was something going on, so I didn’t think much about it.”

He was clearly anxious and, realizing that I could not be of any help, he left.

We talked about it all through the morning.

This is a funny business,” said Aunt Sophie.

“I wonder what’s happened. She’s up to something, I reckon.”

We speculated on where she could have gone without coming to any reasonable conclusion. I expected her to turn up later. She might have left in a fit of pique. Perhaps she had quarrelled with her mother.

Then Jack Grindle reported that Gaston Marchmont had also gone. He had not just disappeared as Tamarisk had. He had left a note to say that he had been called away on urgent business and would explain when he returned, which he hoped would be shortly.

People immediately linked the disappearance of Tamarisk with that of Gaston Marchmont and speculation was rife.

I walked over to the Bell House to see Rachel. Aunt Hilda told me she was in the orchard. The garden of the Bell House consisted of some two acres. There was a sizeable lawn, which, if there was some reason why the church garden parties and fetes could not be held at St. Aubyn’s, had on those rare occasions provided a substitute. Parts of it were quite wild and trees grew thick near the orchard which was a favourite haven for Rachel, I knew.

I found her there and as I approached I called out: “Have you heard the news?”

“News? What news?”

“Tamarisk and Gaston Marchmont have disappeared. They must have gone together.”

“Oh no!” she cried.

“It is rather a coincidence, both going off like that at the same time.”

“They can’t be together!”

“Why not?”

“He wouldn’t…”

“He danced with her more than anyone else at the ball.”

“That was because he had to, because the ball was given at St. Aubyn’s.

He had to dance often with Tamarisk. “

I believe they are together. “

“We’ll know when Gaston comes back. I’m sure he will come back.”

“But they are both missing. Together!”

“There must be some explanation.”

She was staring into the little stream which ran through the orchard.

Her expression was one of intense apprehension. It might have been desolation.

She was right. He did come back and with Tamarisk.

Tamarisk was radiant. There was a gold ring on the third finger of her left hand. Life was wonderful, she declared. She was Mrs. Gaston Marchmont. She and Gaston had eloped and gone to Gretna Green where you could get married without any fuss; and that was how she and Gaston had wanted it to be. They had not wanted to wait for the preparations necessary for a conventional ceremony. They wanted to be together without delay.

Harper’s Green was in a state of great excitement. It was the most dramatic event since Josiah Dorian had hanged himself in the Bell House stable.

“The things that happen in this place!” said Lily.

“It makes you wonder what’s coming next.”

Aunt Sophie said it was an odd business.

“Why did they have to elope? If he’s all he makes out to be there wouldn’t be any objection. Planning a grand wedding would have been a real tonic to Mrs. St. Aubyn, and I can’t believe that Tamarisk wouldn’t have liked that. It looks a bit fishy to me, as though the gentleman might not want too much probing.”

Gaston Marchmont stayed at St. Aubyn’s with the bride. That was to be until he had sorted out his affairs and they could get a home of their own.

The day after their return, I met Crispin riding back from Devizes. He stopped when he saw me and dismounted.

“Are you sure,” he asked, ‘that you didn’t know of Tamarisk’s plans?”

“Absolutely sure.”

“So she gave you no hint?”

“Of course not.”

He was looking very angry.

I said: “I think she is very happy, isn’t she? It was what she wanted.”

He stared ahead, his mouth grim.

“She is completely ignorant,” he said.

“This is an impulsive act which could ruin her life. She is just out of school.”

I felt my indignation rising. That was what he thought of me. A child just out of school.

“But they are in love!” I said.

“In love!” he retorted scornfully.

“You may not believe it but some people do fall in love.”

He looked at me impatiently.

“If she gave you a hint of what was in her mind, you should have warned me, or someone.”

“She didn’t, I keep telling you, and if she had, why should I have reported it to you? You would have tried to spoil it for them. ”

I walked away. I felt very upset. He did not care for people’s feelings. I had begun to think that he was interested in me only mildly though but I supposed it was only due to the fact that I visited Lucy and Flora Lane. He was still the same man who had said in my hearing, “Who is that plain child?”

I had not seen Rachel since Tamarisk’s return and one afternoon I called at the Bell House.

I found her where I had expected, in the orchard by the stream. I was horrified by her air of dejection.

I sat down beside her and said, “Rachel, what is it?”

“You have heard that Tamarisk and Gaston are married?”

“Everyone is talking about it.”

“I just could not believe it, Freddie. When they went away together”

“I suppose we might have guessed it was something like that.”

She was silent, and I said: “Rachel, were you in love with him?”

I put an arm round her and she shivered.

I went on with sudden inspiration: “And he let you believe …”

She nodded.

“I never thought he was sincere,” I said.

“He talked in that extravagant way to all the girls, or for that matter to Aunt Sophie and Mrs. St. Aubyn. One just knew it didn’t really mean anything.”

“It meant something to us,” said Rachel.

“Do you mean … ?”

“He told me he loved me and all the time it was really Tamarisk.”

“He danced a lot with her at the ball and they had supper together.”

“I thought that was just because …”

“Didn’t you realize that all those flattering compliments didn’t mean a thing?”

“It wasn’t like that, Freddie, not with us. It was some thing serious.

And then he just went off and married Tamarisk. “

“Poor Rachel. You didn’t understand. It didn’t mean anything.”

“It did! It did! I know it did.”

“Then why … why did he marry Tamarisk?”

“I suppose it is because she is who she is. She’s rich, isn’t she? She is bound to be. She’s a St. Aubyn.”

“Well, if that’s the reason, you’re well rid of him. He’s not like Daniel. Daniel really loves you, not anything you can bring him.”

“You talk like an old aunt, Freddie. You don’t understand.”

“I understand that he led you to think he was in love with you and then went off and married Tamarisk.”

She said desperately: “Yes, yes. That’s what he has done.”

“Well then, you are well rid of him. It is Tamarisk whom we should be sorry for.”

“I would do anything to be where she is.”

“Be reasonable. Daniel loves you. You like him. He’ll be a good husband, because he is a good man. Oh, I know he doesn’t dance well and travel around and know how everything should be done in top circles. That doesn’t count for much. It’s goodness … fidelity.”

“Don’t go on like that, Freddie. It’s like some sermon. I can’t bear it.”

“All right,” I said.

“But I’m glad it wasn’t you he married. Actually, I think Tamarisk has made a big mistake. Crispin St. Aubyn thinks so too.”

I have reported it to you? You would have tried to spoil it for them. ”

I walked away. I felt very upset. He did not care for people’s feelings. I had begun to think that he was interested in me-only mildly though but I supposed it was only due to the fact that I visited Lucy and Flora Lane. He was still the same man who had said in my hearing, “Who is that plain child?”

I had not seen Rachel since Tamarisk’s return and one afternoon I called at the Bell House.

I found her where I had expected, in the orchard by the stream. I was horrified by her air of dejection.

I sat down beside her and said, “Rachel, what is it?”

“You have heard that Tamarisk and Gaston are married?”

“Everyone is talking about it.”

“I just could not believe it, Freddie. When they went away together . ”

“I suppose we might have guessed it was something like that.”

She was silent, and I said: “Rachel, were you in love with him?”

I put an arm round her and she shivered.

I went on with sudden inspiration: “And he let you believe …”

She nodded.

“I never thought he was sincere,” I said.

“He talked in that extravagant way to all the girls, or for that matter to Aunt Sophie and Mrs. St. Aubyn. One just knew it didn’t really mean anything.”

“It meant something to us,” said Rachel.

“Do you mean … ?”

“He told me he loved me and all the time it was really Tamarisk.”

“He danced a lot with her at the ball and they had supper together.”

“I thought that was just because …”

“Didn’t you realize that all those flattering compliments didn’t mean a thing?”

“It wasn’t like that, Freddie, not with us. It was something serious.

And then he just went off and married Tamarisk. “

“Poor Rachel. You didn’t understand. It didn’t mean anything.”

“It did! It did! I know it did.”

“Then why … why did he marry Tamarisk?”

“I suppose it is because she is who she is. She’s rich, isn’t she? She is bound to be. She’s a St. Aubyn.”

“Well, if that’s the reason, you’re well rid of him. He’s not like Daniel. Daniel really loves you, not anything you can bring him.”

“You talk like an old aunt, Freddie. You don’t understand.”

“I understand that he led you to think he was in love with you and then went off and married Tamarisk.”

She said desperately: “Yes, yes. That’s what he has done.”

“Well then, you are well rid of him. It is Tamarisk whom we should be sorry for.”

“I would do anything to be where she is.”

“Be reasonable. Daniel loves you. You like him. He’ll be a good husband, because he is a good man. Oh, I know he doesn’t dance well and travel around and know how everything should be done in top circles. That doesn’t count for much. It’s goodness … fidelity.”

“Don’t go on like that, Freddie. It’s like some sermon. I can’t bear it.”

“All right,” I said.

“But I’m glad it wasn’t you he married. Actually, I think Tamarisk has made a big mistake. Crispin St. Aubyn thinks so too.”

We sat for a long time staring at the stream and saying nothing. I felt very uneasy about Rachel.

Mrs. St. Aubyn roused herself. Marriage at Gretna Green was all very well, but she would like to see a proper wedding in our own church.

Both Tamarisk and Gaston were quite agreeable and this was arranged.

Mrs. St. Aubyn’s health had improved wonderfully. She had been planning more balls for Tamarisk in an endeavour to launch her daughter into society, but Tamarisk had forestalled her by making the process unnecessary.

The wedding, of course, would not be all that she desired; if she had had more time, it would have been better, but she wanted to get the ceremony over as soon as possible just in case there were those who felt the simple marriage which had already taken place was no true one.

Banns were read in church. I was a bridesmaid; and the Reverend Hetherington conducted the ceremony. Tamarisk wore a wedding gown made of silk and lace which her mother had worn at her wedding, and Mrs. St. Aubyn, though not quite well enough to attend the church, received the guests at the reception at St. Aubyn’s afterwards.

Now no one could doubt that Tamarisk and Gaston Marchmont were well and truly married.

Rachel had not been in church. She was not well, we were told. She was closer to me than Tamarisk had ever been, and I was anxious about her.

I could not get out of my mind the memory of her sitting by the stream with that look of abject misery in her eyes. All the time I was at the reception thoughts of her kept intruding into my mind.

Aunt Sophie and I had returned home afterwards and still I was thinking of Rachel. I had a premonition that something terrible might happen.

Dusk was falling and I knew I could not rest until I saw Rachel. I slipped out of The Rowans and ran all the way to the Bell House.

I had to pass by the stables and, as I did so, my heart bounded with shock. The stable door had been kept locked and now it was unlocked.

I paused and looked at it. I felt a great revulsion. The place filled me with horror. I felt that if I pushed open that door and went in I should see Mr. Dorian hanging there. I would see those frightening eyes looking at me accusingly. They would seem to say to me: It was because of you this happened to me.

That was foolish. It was not because of me. Crispin had made that very clear. I was wrong to think like that.

As I stood hesitating, there was a slight breeze and the door moved. I heard the faint creaking sound as it did so.

Why should someone open the door now? Why had I been aware of this strange impulse to come to the Bell House?

I had a feeling that Rachel was in danger and needed me.

I steeled myself. I went to the stable door. I pushed it open and went in.

“Rachel!” I cried.

She was sitting on the floor and there was a rope in her hands.

“What are you doing?” I cried.

She said fiercely: “What are you doing here?”

“I had to see you. I felt you were calling me. Then I saw the stable door was open.”

“You should go away.”

“No, I won’t. What are you doing in this awful place?”

She looked at the rope in her hands and did not answer.

“Rachel!” I cried.

“He did it,” she said.

“It seemed the only way to him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Freddie, I don’t want to be here any more. I can’t. It’s too awful.”

“What are you saying?”

“I can’t bear it. I can’t live through what will have to come.”

“You’re talking nonsense. People have to live through whatever comes.

It’s Tamarisk and Gaston Marchmont, isn’t it? He made you believe you were the one. Well, I reckon you’re lucky not to be involved with him.

Think of that. “

“You don’t know what you are saying.”

“You mustn’t think of this,” I went on.

“This dreadful place. I can’t bear it. Let’s get out of here. Come with me. Let’s go to the orchard and talk.”

“There’s nothing to say. There is nothing that will make any difference.”

“Perhaps we can think of something.”

She shook her head.

“Well, I’m going to try,” I insisted.

“But not here. I can’t endure this place. Come with me. Let’s get out of here.”

I took the rope from her hands and threw it into a corner. I put my arm through hers.

“Have you got the stable key?” I went on.

She took it from the pocket of her dress and gave it to me. I led her to the door. I looked back at those rafters, almost expecting to see him there leering at me.

I shut the door firmly, locked it and put the key in my pocket.

“Now,” I said, ‘we’ll go to the orchard where we can talk. “

We sat there. She was shivering and I was trying not to think of her body hanging limply from those rafters. Would she have done it? She was in a mood to. She really was so wretched that she did not want to live.

I had come in time. I had known I must go to her. There was a very special friendship between us. I was here to look after her.

“Tell me all about it,” I said firmly.

“It’s worse than you think. You think I have just been jilted.”

“Did he say he would marry you?”

“Well, not exactly …”

“Implied it?” I said.

She nodded.

“I thought we were going to be married. That was why … it all seemed so natural. You see, Freddie, it’s not only that he’s married Tamarisk. I… I’m going to have a baby.”

I was astounded. I stared at the stream in horror. I dared not look at Rachel for fear she would see how shocked I was.

“What … what are you going to do?” I stammered.

“You saw what I was going to do. It seemed the only way.”

“Oh no. That’s not the way.”

“How else?”

“People do have babies.”

“They are supposed to be married. Then it would be wonderful. If you are not … it’s terrible. You are disgraced for ever.”

“Not for ever. It comes right in the end sometimes. Tamarisk doesn’t know?”

“Of course not. Nobody knows but myself … and now you.”

“Not … him? He doesn’t know?”

“No.”

“He is … despicable.”

“It’s no use talking like that. It doesn’t help.”

“That’s true. He’s married to Tamarisk now. Oh, Rachel, what can we do?”

“I don’t see any way out of it, Freddie. That’s why …”

“You must not do that. Everyone would know. So what difference does it make?”

“I shouldn’t be here to care.”

“There must be a way.”

“What? I don’t know of one.”

“Suppose you told him?”

“What good would that do?”

“Oh, poor, poor Rachel! But we’ll think of something. It’s a pity it isn’t Daniel.”

“Daniel!”

“Daniel is such a good man. He would never be like Gaston Marchmont.

He is callous. I don’t know how any one can care for him. “

“He is very charming … different from other people.”

I was not listening to her, for an idea had struck me. I wanted to think about it, and keep it to myself until I had.

“I can’t see any way out,” said Rachel.

“And, Freddie, I can’t face it. I can just imagine the fuss … the scandal … everyone in Harper’s Green talking about it.”

I said: “Don’t do anything yet. Don’t say anything. Will you promise me this? You won’t do anything until I see you tomorrow. Will you promise me that?”

“What are you going to do?”

“There might be a way out of this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know yet. I just want you to promise me one thing. That you won’t do anything until you hear from me.”

“When shall I hear?”

“Soon. I promise you.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes, tomorrow. This is a secret. Please don’t do anything yet. I think there might be a solution.”

“You’re not going to see Gaston?”

“No. Certainly not! I never want to see him again. Please trust me, Rachel.”

“Really, Freddie, I can’t see …”

“Look here. Why did I go into the stables just then? It was because something made me. I knew it was important that I should. It is because there is something special between us. I have an idea that this can work out. Please do as I say. Trust me, Rachel.”

She nodded. Till tomorrow, then. “

I left her then. I felt the key in my pocket as I ran from the Bell House to Grindle’s Farm.

I prayed all the way, let Daniel be there! Please, please, God, let him be there.

My prayer was answered. He was the first person I saw when I reached the farmhouse.

“Oh, Daniel!” I panted.

“I am so pleased to see you. I must talk to you. It’s very important.”

“My dear Freddie …” he began.

“It’s about Rachel,” I said.

“I am very, very worried. Where can we talk?”

At the mention of Rachel’s name he looked alarmed.

“Come into my workshop,” he said.

“It is just here.”

I went with him. In the room there were two stools and a bench with tools lying on it.

“Now,” he said, ‘what is it? “

“She was going to kill herself.”

“What?”

“Daniel, I’m afraid she will. She is very, very unhappy. I know you love her. So do I. She is my best friend. I couldn’t bear it if ..”

“What is all this about?”

“It’s Gaston Marchmont.”

He turned pale and I saw his fists clench.

What has he done? “

“He’s married Tamarisk.”

“And Rachel?”

“She thought he would marry her.”

“My God,” he said quietly.

“Yes, he’s a … philanderer. He courted Rachel …” I hesitated. I was praying silently again. Please, God, let me do this right. I have to explain to him . for Rachel. Let me do it the right way and let him understand. It’s the only way. If he won’t help, she’ll kill herself.

I steeled myself afresh.

“She … she is going to have a baby. I found her in the stables where Mr. Dorian hanged himself. Something led me there. We’re very great friends. Daniel, I would do anything I could for Rachel. I thought you might, too.”

He stared at me unbelievingly. I thought: He is shocked. He is horrified. He doesn’t love her as much as I thought he did.

“She can’t face it, Daniel,” I pleaded.

“She can’t face it … alone.”

“In the stables,” he muttered.

“Where the old man …”

That must have been why she thought of it. She was going to do it, Daniel. If I hadn’t gone in . “

“Rachel…” he murmured.

“She was so unhappy. Oh, how I hate that man!”

The silence seemed to go on for a long time. Then I said:

“If only he hadn’t come here. I thought perhaps you might love her enough. You did ask her to marry you.”

“She didn’t accept me. It was because of that man.”

“People make mistakes about other people, Daniel. If you really loved her … I thought you did. It’s why I came. I’m sorry now. I thought if you really loved her, you could marry her. Then it would be all right about the baby.”

I was going too far. That sense of the important part I must play had been chosen to play in this tragedy was fast disappearing. I was trying to arrange other people’s lives. It was arrogant. It was meddling. And Rachel’s life was at stake.

I heard myself saying: “I suppose you think it is no business of mine.

But she is my friend. I care about her so much. I just can’t let her kill herself when there is a way out.”

Daniel spoke then.

“You’re a good girl,” he said.

“You did right to come to me.”

“Oh, Daniel, did I? You will, then? Oh, thank you … thank you.”

He said: “I’ll go and see her.”

“There isn’t much time. I was afraid to leave her. Daniel … will you come now?”

“Yes,” he said.

“I’ll come now.”

He sat me in front of him on his horse and we went to the Bell House.

When we arrived and had dismounted, he said: “Go home now, Freddie. I will go to Rachel. I shall come to see you before I go back to the farm.”

“Oh, Daniel … thank you … thank you.”

My lips were trembling. I was still praying inwardly that he would do what I wanted him to do.

He looked at me for a few moments and I could see that he was very moved.

Then he kissed me lightly on the forehead and said, as he had before:

“You are a good girl.”

He turned away, and I went home and straight to my room. I did not talk to anyone of what had happened . not even Aunt Sophie.

A month later Rachel and Daniel were married. It was a quiet wedding, as there was just enough time for the banns to be read in church. I was well aware that in due course people would be nodding their heads and whispering that the reason for haste was now clear.

Daniel was happy and I was glad. I felt very proud of myself for thinking of this solution, and extremely gratified because it had come to pass. I was old enough and wise enough to have realized that Daniel was an unusual man.

And how fortunate it was that he had been at hand to set this matter right. I had witnessed that rare phenomenon an example of selfless love; and I thought what a lucky girl Rachel was to have inspired it.

I tried to tell Rachel this and she agreed with me. She said she would never forget what Daniel had done for her and without reproaches of any sort. She was going to try to make up for that for the rest of her life.

And Tamarisk? What was her life going to be?

She and Gaston continued to live at St. Aubyn’s. Gaston paid a great deal of attention to Mrs. St. Aubyn who, I was told, had become very fond of him. There was a coolness between him and Crispin. Crispin, I believed, was of a suspicious nature, and would be asking himself why Gaston had wanted such a hasty wedding.

I wondered what he would have said if he had known that the baby Rachel was going to have was Gaston’s.

I had been roughly awakened to the ugly side of life in Barrow Wood some years before. Now it seemed I had extended my knowledge.

Rachel had certainly married in unusual circumstances, but what of Tamarisk? She might be contented now, but what would her life be with such a man as Gaston?

I often thought of those girls we had been at the ball, dreaming of ‘coming out’ and courtship, marriage and the ultimate goal of living happily ever after. How often was that dream attained? I wondered.

There was Rachel with this as yet unborn baby. For her there would be memories. And Daniel kind Daniel self-effacing as he was, surely when the child came he would sometimes think of Gaston and Rachel together.

But Tamarisk. She must live her life with the man who, while he was claiming undying love for her, was making love to someone else.

Crispin’s manner towards Gaston was so cool that I began to wonder whether he had discovered something. It occurred to me that Gaston might be capable of any deceit. What of those grand estates in France and Scotland? Did they really exist? Had he wanted to secure Tamarisk and her fortune before it was found out that he was not what he had made himself out to be?

It seemed plausible that this might be so.

I went to see Tamarisk. She had changed a little. She looked more sophisticated. She laughed a good deal and was full of gaiety, but I did wonder whether part of it was assumed. She insisted that life was wonderful. But did she do this too vehemently?

I asked her if she and Gaston were going to live at St. Aubyn’s.

“Oh no,” she answered.

“We’re pondering. Such fun! We’re not quite sure where we want to live. St. Aubyn’s will do very well until we’ve decided.”

“I should think it would do very well indeed!” I replied.

“You won’t live abroad, will you? Those estates in France.”

“Oh, you’ve forgotten. Gaston sold those. We might buy another there.”

“And Scotland?” I went on.

“Those are in the process of being sold. At the moment we shall be here. My mother is pleased about that. She adores Gaston.”

“And Crispin?” I asked.

“Oh, you know Crispin. He never adores anything except the estate.”

Was she happy, or was there a hint of uneasiness which she was trying to disguise?

As for me, there was a certain amount of uncertainty. Aunt Sophie had thought there would be more balls at St. Aubyn’s to which eligible young men would be asked. Tamarisk’s marriage had put an end to that.

I was caught up by Miss Hetherington. I must, she said, ‘pull my weight’ and do what I could for the good of Harper’s Green. That meant I must join the sewing circle, making garments for the poor and naked people of some remote part of Africa. I must help promote the bazaar and the annual fete. I must join in the organizing of the;H cake-judging competition and become a member of the flower-arranging class.

Aunt Sophie was amused at first, and then a little thoughtful. It was not what she had planned for me.

I said: “I feel I ought to do something. I mean, take a post of some sort. After all, I’m a bit of a drain on you.”

“Drain! I never heard such nonsense.”

“Well, you can’t be as well off as you were before I came. So it must be something of a burden.”

“No such thing. You’re a bonus.”

“And you are a darling,” I replied.

“Yet I do want to do something.

Earn a little money preferably. You give me so much. “

“You give me so much, too. But I do know what you mean. You don’t want to stultify, become a martyr to village life, become another Maud Hetherington.”

“I have been wondering what I could do. Perhaps get a post as a governess or companion.”

Aunt Sophie looked horrified.

“Granted there is little else a genteel young lady can do. But I can’t see you as the governess to some wayward child or companion to some fractious old woman.”

“It might be interesting for a while. After all, I am not like some. I could leave if I did not like it. I do have a little money of my own.”

“Put the idea out of your head. I’d miss you too much. Something will be resolved.”

The time for the birth of Rachel’s baby was almost with us. I went over to see her.

She said: “It’s impossible not to be happy about this baby. I love this child deeply, Freddie. It’s strange, when you think …”

“It’s not strange at all. It’s natural. The child is yours, and when it is born it will be Daniel’s. Only the three of us know, and we shan’t tell.”

“A secret,” she said, ‘that must never be told. “

My thoughts immediately went to the nursery in the Lanes’ cottage and the seven birds in the picture.

“The old verse,” I said.

“I know,” said Rachel.

“I always wondered what that secret was. What do you think the poet had in mind?”

“Just any secret, I suppose.”

She nodded thoughtfully.

That reminded me that I must go to see Flora soon. Poor Flora. The passing of time meant nothing to her. She lived permanently in the past.

Rachel was saying: “I am trying to put all that behind me. I was silly to believe in him. I can see it so clearly now. I believe he married Tamarisk for her money.”

“Poor Tamarisk,” I said.

“Yes. I can say that now.”

“And you, Rachel, have someone who truly loves you.”

She nodded. She was not completely happy, I knew, but she had left a long way behind that girl whom I had found in the stable with a rope in her hands.

Soon after I called on Tamarisk again. She was wearing a tea-gown of lavender silk and lace and looked beautiful.

“And what are you doing here, Freddie?” she wanted to know.

“I have just left the sewing circle.”

She grimaced.

“How exciting!” she said ironically.

“Poor you! I don’t suppose Maud Hetherington lets you off lightly.”

“She’s a hard taskmaster.”

“How long are you going to let her rule you?”

“Not much longer. I’m thinking of taking a post.”

“What sort of post?”

“I haven’t decided yet. What do young ladies of some education and very small means do? You don’t know? Well, I’ll tell you. They become governesses or companions It’s a very humble condition, but alas, the only thing available.”

“Oh shut up,” cried Tamarisk.

“And look! Here’s Crispin.”

He came into the room and said to me: “Good afternoon. I saw you arriving and I guessed you had come to see Tamarisk.”

“She has just been telling me she’s thinking of being someone’s governess or companion,” said Tamarisk.

“Looking after other people’s children or ministering to some old woman?”

“Teaching children could be rewarding,” I said.

“For the children who would benefit from your tuition, perhaps. But for you? When a governess is no longer needed, off she goes.”

“That would apply to any employment, surely?”

“The period of a governess’s usefulness is necessarily limited. It is not a career I would recommend.”

“There is little choice. There would appear to be only two openings governess or companion.”

“The second could be worse than the first. People who need companions are more often than not querulous and demanding.”

“It may be that there are some pleasant ones.”

“It would not be my choice if I were a young woman in search of a career.”

“Ah, but then you are not.”

Tamarisk laughed. He shrugged his shoulders and we talked of other things.

Shortly afterwards he left and I went back to The Rowans. I sat at my window, looking out at Barrow Wood.

Aunt Sophie was having tea in the drawing-room when I came in. I had been to the church to help with the flower decoration, supervised by Mildred Clavier, who had French ancestry on one side of her family and was therefore noted for her good taste.

I was tired not so much from physical fatigue but through a sense of futility. I was wondering, as I did twenty times a day, where I was going.

To my surprise Crispin was with Aunt Sophie and she was looking rather pleased.

“Oh, here’s Frederica,” she said.

“Mr. St. Aubyn has been talking to me.

It’s an idea he has. “

“I’m sorry I disturbed you,” I said.

“I didn’t know you had a visitor.”

“This concerns you. Come and sit down. You’d like a cup of tea, I know.”

She poured it out and I took it. Then she smiled at Crispin.

“It’s just an idea I had,” he said.

“I thought it might be of interest. You may have heard of the Merrets. He was one of the two assistant managers on the estate. Mrs. Merret was a great help to him in his work. They are leaving for Australia at the end of next week.

His brother is farming over there and has persuaded them to join him.

At last they have decided to do so. “

“I did hear something of them,” I said.

“A good fellow, Merret. Someone’s taking over his work, so that is not the point. It was just Mrs. Merret. She was a great help to him in his work and therefore to us.”

“Wives often are,” commented Aunt Sophie, ‘and rarely get the credit until they are no longer there. “

He smiled rather grudgingly.

“Yes, you could say that. Merret was excellent but Mrs. Merret had a way with her. I suppose you would call it the feminine touch. Merret might have been a bit gruff at times. He was a man of few words and when he talked he spoke his mind, whereas she knew how to handle people. She also knew what was right for the cottages . those Elizabethan ones on the edge of the estate. She made sure that they did not lose their character, whereas Merret might have had something done, if he I could get it at a low cost, which wouldn’t have been right for them. She made the tenants feel proud of their places. You see what I mean? “

Aunt Sophie was sitting back in her chair looking a little smug, while I was wondering what this was leading to.

The fact is,” went on Crispin, ‘hearing you talk about becoming a governess or companion, I thought this might suit you better.”

“Suit me? What do you mean?”

“I thought you might care to take over Mrs. Merret’s work. It would mean getting to know something about the properties, but most important, the people. Dealing with them tactfully. James Perrin is taking over Merret’s work, and you’d be working with him. What do you think?”

“I’m just astounded. I’m not sure what I should be expected to do, and whether I would be capable of it.”

“Well, you were always interested in old buildings,” said Aunt Sophie.

“And you’ve always got along well with people.”

“You could try it,” said Crispin.

“If you didn’t like it, you could give it up. You could see Tom Masson about a salary. He deals with that sort of thing. Why not give it a try? I think you might like it better than tiresome children or querulous old ladies.”

“I think I should have to know more about it,” I said.

“I am not sure that I have the qualifications.”

“That will soon be discovered. I think you might become really interested. Some of the properties on the estate go back a long way.

We have to make them comfortable enough to live in without spoiling the old features. People are beginning to value these old places.

They’re solid. They knew how to build well in those days. See how they have stood up to the years. “

“I can’t imagine what I should have to do.”

“It’s simple. You get to know the people. You go round in your official capacity and they’ll talk about their dwellings. You listen sympathetically. We have to keep them in good order. They ask for all sorts of things. You will explain why this or that could not be done.

You’ll see. In any case, you won’t know whether you want to do it until you have tried, will you? “

“It sounds very interesting to me,” said Aunt Sophie.

“When would you want me to start?” I asked.

The sooner the better. Why don’t you go along and see Tom Masson and James Perrin? They’ll give you all the details. “

“Thank you,” I said.

“It was good of you to think of me.”

“Of course I thought of you,” he said.

“We need someone to take Mrs. Merret’s place.”

When he left and we sat back listening to the sound of his horse’s hoofs on the road until they died away. Aunt Sophie laughed.

“Well!” she said.

“What did you think of that?”

“I can hardly believe it.”

“It sounds a cosy sort of job.”

“It’s amazing. How should I know anything about property?”

“Why shouldn’t you learn? He’s what I’d call a cryptic sort of fellow.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“You can’t be sure what he’s getting at. I imagine there’s something behind most things he does.”

“And what’s behind this?”

She looked at me knowingly.

“It’s my opinion that he takes an interest in you. He doesn’t like the idea of your going away. The talk of governessing has put this into his mind.”

“You mean he is creating this job just to keep me here? That’s a bit wild, even from you. Aunt Sophie.”

“He’s bound to have his reasons. I am sure he has some idea that he has to keep an eye on you. It’s somewhere in the past…”

“Do you mean Barrow Wood?”

“That’s something none of us is likely to forget, and it applies to him as much as any of us. Let’s say, because of what happened, he takes a special interest in you and he doesn’t think it would be a good thing for you to go off on some wild-cat scheme.”

“Wild-cat scheme! Being a governess!”

“He thinks it is and he did save you, remember. People feel these things quite strongly after something like that happens.”

“It’s hard to imagine he could feel very strongly about anything except the estate.”

“He’s thinking of the estate now. His precious Elizabethan cottages and all that.”

We were thoughtful for a while.

I said: “I must say, I feel rather interested in all this.”

“So do I,” said Aunt Sophie.

The next day I went over to the St. Aubyn’s estate office to see Tom Masson. He was a tall, middleaged man with rather a brisk manner.

“Mr. St. Aubyn told me you would be coming,” he said.

“He thinks Mrs. Merret was a great asset in her husband’s work, which she undoubtedly was, and we shall miss her. You’ll be working with James Perrin as a sort of assistant. Mrs. Merret will be here shortly. It is better for you to talk to her about what your duties will be.”

“I shall like that,” I said.

“At the moment I feel a little vague about what is expected of me.”

“I do not think you will find it over-arduous. We found things ran more smoothly with her around. It’s better for you to talk direct to her. Meanwhile, we’ll settle other details.”

He told me about the rules of the estate. Hours of duty would be flexible. Someone might want to see me at any hour of the day and I would be expected to be available for emergencies. There would be a horse at my disposal and if I needed it, a pony and trap. We discussed salary and he asked me if I had any questions. I had not. I felt there was so much for me to discover.

Mrs. Merret arrived.

“Oh hello. Miss Hammond,” she said.

“I hear you are going to take over my job.”

“Yes, and I am eager to know what is expected of me. I’m not altogether sure.”

She had a very pleasant face and an easy manner. I could see why people liked her.

She said: “It began like this. I started helping my husband and I found certain things which I thought weren’t quite right with the tenants. I got more and more interested. There are several tied cottages on the estate and we have to make sure the tenants keep them in order. I suppose some feel they are only theirs while the job lasts and that makes them careless. You have to see that they report what is wrong so that things don’t get beyond repair. Then you get the complaints and quibbles. You have to sort them out, of course. You have to get to know the people … those who have a real grievance and those who have a habit of complaining and grumbling. I always tried to keep them happy. I’d make them proud of their places. There’s a lot in that. One of my jobs was to make sure they got a hamper for Christmas with the things they needed. I found people with a cupboard full of blankets which they’d been getting year after year when they were short of coal. People are proud, some of them. Then, of course, there are the cadgers. You want the worthy ones to get what they want and for which they are too proud to ask. Am I giving you some idea? ”

“Oh yes indeed.”

“You get to know them in time. We aim to have a happy estate. That’s the best way to keep things working well. I’ll give you my notebooks.

There are little snippets about people in them. “

“Thank you.”

“Don’t worry. There’ll be plenty for you to do. I dare say Mr. Perrin will find lots. My husband did for me. He really does need an assistant and I am sure you will find yourself fully occupied.”

“It seems a rather unusual sort of job.”

“To employ a woman, you mean? The men sometimes think we’re not up to it. Mr. St. Aubyn isn’t like that. He said I understood people and it was something to do with the feminine instinct. You’ll be a success, I’m sure.”

She handed me the notebooks. I glanced through them and saw there was a brief reference to Mulberry Cottage.

That’s the Lanes’ place,” I said.

“Poor Flora. I didn’t have much to do with them. Mr. St. Aubyn himself keeps an eye on them. That is his wish.”

“I know he looks after them very well.”

“Miss Lucy was his nurse at one time and Miss Flora before that.

It’s a very sad affair. “

“You must have known them for a long time.”

“Since I married and came here.”

“So you’ve always known Miss Flora as she is now?”

“Oh yes, she went like that when Mr. St. Aubyn was a baby.”

“I often wonder whether something couldn’t be done for Miss Flora.”

“What do you think could be done?”

“I wonder if it could be brought home to her that the doll she treasures is not a baby only a doll.”

“I don’t know. Surely her sister would have done it if she thought it was any good. She looks after her very well.”

I asked her how she felt about leaving.

“Mixed feelings. My husband is keen to go. He thinks there are great opportunities out there. His brother went and he has a flourishing property now. Land is cheap and if you work hard they say you can do well.”

“It’s a great challenge, I suppose,” I said.

She agreed.

Mr. Perrin arrived and I had a long talk with him.

He was young, in his early twenties, I imagined. He had a friendly happy smile and I knew at once that I should have no qualms about working with him.

He said: “You can help with the accounts. Not that there is much of that in our department, but they come along now and then and figures are not my strong point. And there are letters. Merret tells me that there will be plenty to do and I’ll need all the help I can get.”

“I fear I have no experience.”

“Well, we shall get along, I am sure.”

When I went home Aunt Sophie was eagerly waiting to hear the outcome.

I told her that there really did seem to be a job to be done and that her notion that Crispin wanted to keep me here was just another flight of fancy.

“It is no sinecure,” I told her firmly.

“I think I am going to be very busy.”

“Well, I’m glad,” she replied.

“I certainly did not want you to go away. And I didn’t think that governessing would have suited you very well.”