Sexy Briefs: Knickers in a Twist

Banging the Bridesmaid by Tessie L’Amour

“Damn it.” Tyler scratched his ear and wondered how he’d gotten roped into this. Behind him, he could hear a soft murmur which must be the catering people setting up for the reception. He wondered where Cheryl had gotten to, and how the hell he was going to make amends with a woman he barely knew. Make amends on behalf of Zach, who should be down here fixing his own problems for once. He sighed and shook his head.

It wouldn’t be the first time he’d done Zach’s dirty work. There’d been the time Zach had not shown up for the U.H.C. game, despite being captain. Their college soccer coach stormed around, threatening to throw Zach off the team, until Tyler made up some bullshit story about Zach’s brother being in accident and smoothed things over. When Zach showed up in their dorm room grinning about making it with Candy Donatello, Tyler didn’t yell, just warned him about the cover story. Then there’d been the time when Zach screwed up and accepted invitations from two different girls to the Sadie Hawkins dance. When they both showed up, one flew into a rage and left, while the other burst into tears. With Zach nowhere to be seen, Tyler had been the one to comfort the poor girl and feed her some lame excuse about the other girl being delusional. After almost an hour, she calmed down. Zach appeared and took her to the dance, while Tyler was left to find his date and apologize for being late.

Though they’d been close in college, Tyler hadn’t heard much from Zach in the past three years, and hadn’t made a lot of effort either. He had frankly been shocked when Zach called him up out of the blue and asked him to be best man at his wedding, though Tyler was starting to wonder if he hadn’t been a late replacement for somebody else. It figured if he was.

Tyler hadn’t even met the bride or the rest of the wedding party until the day before at the rehearsal dinner. Zach introduced him as “my best friend from college,” and Tyler didn’t argue, just smiled and said hello to everybody. The bride-to-be, Cheryl, greeted him warmly, but they didn’t have a chance to talk before the dinner started. She seemed very nice, though perhaps not the sharpest tool in the shed. Of course, she couldn’t be and stay around Zach long enough to get married. A little chubby perhaps, and a little too small on top, but pretty enough. Still, she surprised Tyler. He wouldn’t have believed “pretty enough” would be enough to hold Zach, who spent most of the dinner chatting up Kate, Cheryl’s good friend and bridesmaid. Kate was a true knockout, and a lot more Zach’s style, but there was no accounting for love.

Unfortunately for Zach, Cheryl finally noticed how much attention Zach was spending on Kate and had flown into a snit this morning, threatening to call off the wedding. Zach begged Tyler to go after her, reassure her, and like a chump, Tyler agreed. One of these days, Zach was going to have to clean up his own messes, but Tyler would have to learn to say no first.

Turning a corner in the hallway, Tyler caught a glimpse of somebody ducking into the bridesmaid’s dressing room. It might be Kate, but she’d been upstairs when Tyler came down. He walked down the hall and stood outside the door listening. Sure enough, someone inside was sniffling. It had to be Cheryl.

Tyler rubbed his forehead. How did he get himself into these situations? He must be a pushover. He started to walk away. Zach could take care of his own issues. Then he stopped, and looked back at the door. Hmm. Walking back, Tyler swallowed hard and then knocked on the door. Could he pull this off?

“Go away!”

“Kate, I know you’re in there,” Tyler said earnestly. “Open up. It’s really important.”

“I’m not… go away. I’m busy.”

“Kate, you have to help me.” Tyler opened the door a crack and flipped off the light.

“Wait, what are you doing?”

Cheryl’s voice was confused and scared, and Tyler knew he only had a moment to convince her. “It’s okay, Kate. It’s me, Tyler, the best man.”

“Um, what is it, Tyler? Why did you turn off the lights?”

Tyler grinned. This just might work. “I didn’t want anybody to catch us,” he said, slipping inside and closing the door. The only light was a dim flicker from a modem incongruously sitting on the floor in the back of the dressing room.

“What do you mean, catch us?” Cheryl asked in a guarded tone.

“Kate, I’m in a bad way, I really am. You’ve just got to help me.” Tyler stepped closer.

“Help with what?” Cheryl asked, curiosity winning over her caution.

“I didn’t think I’d need to. I mean, this is really awkward, but you see, I hadn’t met the bride before.”

“Tyler, what are you talking about?”

“Kate,” Tyler went on. Every time he called her that and she didn’t correct him made it more likely she would keep pretending. “I have to ask you, beg you really, for the Bridesmaid’s Boon. I’m sorry to ask, but the bride. Oh my god.”

“Slow down. What is the Bridesmaid’s thingie, and what do you mean about the bride?” Cheryl sounded confused but very curious, and Tyler grinned to himself.

“You don’t know about the Bridesmaid’s Boon? How could they not tell you? I mean, it’s not official or anything of course, but I thought… Oh, never mind. Forget I asked.”

“No, really, I want to know,” Cheryl pleaded. “Tell me what it is, and what it has to do with m- with the bride.”

Tyler cleared his throat and sat down on the chair. His eyes were adjusting, and he could see Cheryl’s silhouette leaning toward him. “It’s, oh gosh. It’s kind of awkward to talk about. Are you sure you want to know? We can just forget it.”

“No, go on. Really, it’s okay.”

“See, it’s tradition that when the best man, that’s me, has to be around the bride, but only if she’s really attractive you know, he… I can’t say it.”

“You, you think the bride, Cheryl, you think she’s attractive?”

“Are you kidding? When Zach introduced us, I couldn’t figure out what to say. I practically came in my pants. Sorry, that was crude.”

“No, it’s okay,” said Cheryl shyly. “You don’t think she’s, you know, a little heavy?”

Tyler laughed. “I’m sorry, I know you’re her friend and all, Kate, and it must be hard to be around someone that gorgeous and not feel a little insecure, but you’ve got to be kidding.”

There was silence, and Tyler could almost hear Cheryl disbelieving, but wanting to believe.

“Anyway,” Tyler went on quickly, “when that happens, it’s kind of traditional, customary, for the bridesmaid to… to help out,” he finished lamely.

“Help out?” Cheryl said, then gasped. “You mean, distract him?”

Tyler nodded, and said, “I’m sorry, it’s pretty embarrassing. If Cheryl were an ordinary girl, I could just jerk off in the bathroom, but she’s got that amazing ass. I’m afraid of making a fool of myself.”

There was another long pause, broken by a small giggle. “So, you want me to what, help out?”

“Oh, Kate, if you would. Maybe just a blow job would… I’d be able to stand there with her and not have everybody in the audience staring at me.”

“That seems awfully, I mean, we couldn’t,” Cheryl said, sounding both offended and amused.

“No, I understand.” Tyler stood up. He was sporting quite a hard-on just from the conversation, and he made sure he pressed against Cheryl accidentally so that her hand bumped it in the dark.

“Oh, gosh, Tyler, is that your…?”

“I’m sorry, Kate. I can’t help it.”

Cheryl reached out her hand tentatively and felt the hardness in his trousers. “Wow, you’ve got it bad,” she said.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry to bother you,” Tyler said, moving past her toward the door.

He had his hand on the doorknob when she said, “Okay, I’ll help.”

“Oh, Kate, that would be awesome,” Tyler said, scarcely believing his ears. He hurried back to the chair, stumbling against a table in the darkened room.

“Somebody is eager,” Cheryl said, and giggled. “But Tyler, you can’t tell anybody.”

“I won’t.”

“No, I mean nobody. Once we’re upstairs, you have to act like we haven’t even met each other.”

“Kate, I promise. Nobody will know. You are the best.” Tyler stopped as he felt Cheryl’s hands on his chest, gently pushing him into the chair. He sat back, seriously hard and relishing what was about to happen.

Cheryl ran her hands down his sides until she reached his waist. Kneeling, she reached out, then hesitated. Finally, she moved her hand slowly to his pants and unbuttoned the tuxedo pants. Tyler’s erection pressed against her hand, rock hard and urgent. Slowly, she unzipped his zipper, and then caressed his cock through his underwear.

Tyler groaned. Her touch, though feather soft, felt agonizing in his current state. He shifted, pushing himself against her hand.

“You are eager,” Cheryl said, and slid the underwear down, releasing Tyler’s erection which popped out and strained at her as if it had a mind of its own. Cheryl purred and stroked his shaft gently. “It’s lovely,” she said, her hand caressing him softly.

“Oh, god, uh thanks,” panted Tyler, his body tensed and focused on her silky touch.

His eyes half-closed with the exquisite sensation, Tyler didn’t see but rather felt as Cheryl took the head of his cock into her warm, willing mouth. He felt her tongue circle around the tip, and he squirmed. It was almost too much sensation, but then Cheryl slid him in deeper, her mouth engulfing him and playing with him. God damn, she was good at this. Tyler suddenly had an idea why the pretty enough girl had captured Zach’s affections. Any girl who sucked cock this well was worth a dozen bimbos.

Using her mouth as an instrument of exquisite torture, Cheryl slid him in and out, raking the sensitive skin with her teeth one moment, sucking and creating a vacuum the next. In no time, Tyler felt his penis constricting. He knew he would blow soon, and a glorious explosion it would be.

Then she slid him out, and he whimpered, raising his hips to try to reach her mouth. She laughed softly. “I’m not sure this is helping, Tyler. You seem very stiff.”

Tyler looked down at her. By the light of the modem, he could just see her pouty lips inches from his raging erection. He thought about where Zach might be, and how he’d feel if he saw his pretty little bride, due to stand at the altar with him in just an hour or two, with her lips around another man’s cock, and not just any man, but the best man. “May the best man win,” he murmured to himself.

“What’s that?” Cheryl asked, looking up at him.

“God, Kate, you are good. Damn good, but I don’t know.”

She stopped moving. “You don’t know what?”

Tyler went on, trying to speak calmly though everything in him wanted to be back in her mouth. “This feels so good, but I’m going to be in that chapel, and the bride, Cheryl, is going to be standing there so close. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking about another girl when you’re…”

“No, it’s okay,” she said. “What about, um, Cheryl?”

“She’s going to be so close and with that low-cut wedding dress, she’s going to be, they’re going to be, right there.”

Cheryl stood slowly. “Her breasts, you mean?”

Tyler groaned again, though this time on purpose. “Oh, those breasts. I’m afraid I’ll just reach out, have to touch them right there in church.”

“Would it help to touch mine?”

“I don’t know, Kate. I guess I could try.” Tyler watched in disbelief as Cheryl slipped off her shift. He wondered when she should be getting her gown on, but lost the thought as Cheryl unsnapped her bra and let her breasts swing freely.

Even in the low light, Tyler could see that they were small, but well formed. Without saying anything, he reached up one hand, then the other, and gently touched the sides of Cheryl’s breasts. Tentatively, gently, he caressed them until his hands cupped her tenderly. When his fingertips grazed her nipples, puckered and stiff with excitement, Cheryl let out a moan, almost a mew. Tyler let his warm breath blow on Cheryl’s nipple and she moaned again, then leaned toward him so that his lips touched her. He kissed around one breast, then moved to the other, as her breathing became more rapid.

“Kate,” he said, a little breathlessly, “you’ve got to get a better dress designer.”

“What?” Cheryl said, pulling away from him.

“Last night, at the dinner, Zach and I were talking about you…” He trailed off and waited.

“What did Zach say about… about me?” Cheryl said angrily.

“Oh, it was nothing. You know guys, we talk.”

“What did he say?”

“He didn’t mean anything, I’m sure, but he thought your breasts were fake. He said if a guy wanted to play with beach balls, he should go to the beach. I’m sorry, because these aren’t fake. They’re so damn real, and so beautiful.”

“He didn’t. He wasn’t attracted to K- to me.” Cheryl said, a quaver in her voice.

“I’m sorry,” Tyler said, squeezing all the sincerity he could into his words. “He’s so totally smitten with Cheryl. I mean, I’m attracted to you, but Zach? I can hardly believe he looked at you long enough to notice… you know.”

Cheryl said nothing, but pulled his face back down and let him suckle on her breasts. He could almost feel her smiling. Feeling brave, Tyler slid his hands down Cheryl’s side and stroked her ass while he kissed and nibbled her. Cheryl’s breathing grew louder, and he could feel her heart pounding.

Suddenly, she pulled away, her breathing ragged and quick. She stared at him, examining his face in the tiny light. Tyler held still, hardly daring to move, wondering what she would do.

Without a word, Cheryl pulled back further, but only to get access to her panties. In one quick move, she pushed them down to her ankles, and stepped away from them. Tyler could smell her sweet, musky aroma and breathed in deeply, but still said nothing.

Cheryl moved closer, putting one hand on his chest and sliding it across until she touched his nipple. Tyler gasped at the sensation, more sensitive than he would have expected. Cheryl pushed him down and climbed over him, straddling him. Tyler let her take the lead as she reached down and guided his cock against her warm, sopping cunt. She rubbed the head against her opening, and Tyler had trouble stopping himself from cumming. Not now. Not yet.

Cheryl panted harder and harder, rubbing her clitoris against the head of his cock until she let out a guttural cry, her body jerking with the orgasm that ripped through her. Tyler waited until she settled down, then pulled her forward. Cheryl slid onto his cock, and he could feel the contractions as her orgasm subsided.

Slowly, Cheryl started to move up and down, impaling herself more fully on him. Tyler squeezed her ass, gritted his teeth and tried to hold off, but the feeling was too strong, and he came in torrents, deep inside her. Both gasping for air, they clung together.

At last, Cheryl pushed away. “Oh, God, I’ve got to get ready,” she said, pulling her clothes back on. “How late is it? Zach is going to be frantic. I mean, somebody has to help the bride get ready.” She got her clothes on while Tyler watched her silently. “Did that help?” she said suddenly, and with a surprising note of tenderness.

“More than you’ll ever know, Kate,” Tyler said. “You are one of a kind”

“There you are,” Zach said with an irritated scowl. “What happened? Is Cheryl going through with it?”

“Absolutely,” Tyler said, grinning.

“What did you say? She makes such a big fucking deal out of every little thing. Do you think I’m making a mistake here? Do you think she’s right for me?” Zach asked, a genuine note of anxiety in his voice.

“I think she’s perfect for you,” Tyler said earnestly. “But I still want to know, why didn’t you go find her yourself?”

Zach looked away. “I was busy, you know, getting ready. It’s my wedding, for god sakes. There are a lot of things to do.”

Tyler looked him up and down. He straightened Zach’s collar and brushed lint off his shoulder. He looked at Zach and shook his head slightly, though Zach clearly didn’t notice. “As I said, you two are perfectly suited. But, Zach…”

Zach looked up expectantly, waiting for him to finish.

Tyler paused, then gestured at Zach’s pants. “A word to the wise, buddy. You might want to zip up before the ceremony.” With that, he turned and walked out the door.