Chapter Four

In my world, only liars, drunks, and the guilty shake uncontrollably. If Ben Yates, the Special Agent in charge of the Kansas City office, caught me doing “Shake it up, baby,” I’d be on the shelf before I got to “Twist and Shout.” So I worked late and kept my door closed.

I’d been an agent since I gave the army the tour of duty I’d promised in return for my college education. I’d worked in FBI offices all over the country, picked Kansas City for my last stop since it was where Joy and I wanted to live when the Bureau retired me in five years when I turned fifty-five.

It wasn’t just a job. It was who I was-the right guy, doing the right job for the right reasons. I could never give it up, especially after our son Kevin was killed almost twenty years ago when I didn’t do my job. They’d have to take the badge from me. I owed that much to Kevin.

I wasn’t ready to deal with the possible causes of the shaking-brain tumor, Parkinson’s, MS, ALS, or some other equally grim alphabetical practical joke. I played with images of Muhammad Ali shuf?ing like an old man, not?oating like a butter?y, his face a mask, or of Lou Gehrig telling a packed Yankee Stadium that he was the luckiest man alive. Whatever it was, I didn’t feel lucky. Every time I shook, I offered whatever it was a deal. Just go away, no questions asked. So far, there were no takers.

The late shift was a good place to hide, and I was in no hurry to go home. When Joy moved out, she left me a note saying she had tried to tell me what was wrong with our marriage ever since Kevin died but I never heard her. I called her cell, told her I was ready to listen. “Too late,” she said. “Now you can be with Kate Scranton.” I told her again that there was nothing between Kate and me; she’s a jury consultant, helps me with some cases. That’s it. It was Joy’s turn not to listen.

Our other child, Wendy, inherited the enthusiasm, wit, and determination that I’d found in Joy when I first fell in love with her. After Kevin died, Wendy hid it away, replacing it with fear of the dark, of being left alone, and, most of all, of being taken from us.

She had a stuffed animal, a monkey that she slept with every night after we lost Kevin. I made up a song that made her laugh, a rare occurrence in those days.

I had a little monkey girl.

She climbed a tree just like a squirrel.

And when she got up to the top,

She held her breath until she popped.

And when she got back on the ground,

She wore a smile and not a frown.

She’s always glad, she’s never sad

Because she has a goofy dad!

Wendy loved the song, changed her stuffed animal’s name from Pickles to Monkey Girl, and insisted we create a secret code in case someone kidnapped her. She’d use the code to tell us that she was okay and that I should come find her.

“That’s a great idea,” I told her. “Very smart for a little girl.”

“You know Monkey Girl?”

“Sure. We’re great pals.”

“When the kidnappers put me on the phone so you know that I’m still alive, I’ll tell you to say happy birthday to Monkey Girl. That way you’ll know I’m okay.”

“How do you know that’s what kidnappers do?”

“I heard you talking to your friends from work. One of them said that’s what always happens except the man that took Kevin didn’t do it the right way.”

I wanted to tell her that there was no such thing as a right way to kidnap someone, but she was holding onto that certainty like a lifeline, convinced she would be kidnapped and hoping her abductor would do a better job of it than had Kevin’s. I pulled her onto my lap, hugged her fiercely against my chest.

“Then you better hang onto Monkey Girl. I’d hate for her to miss out on her birthday party.”

Wendy had her own survival scars, growing up in a house where her brother’s ghost and her parents’ wars made certain that she never felt safe and secure. It was a breeding ground for her mother’s alcoholism, a disease Wendy?irted with through drugs.

She lived in a state of perpetual rebound between bad choices and second chances. I was her spotter, ready to catch her when she fell and pat her on the back when she pulled herself up again, saved by an eternal?ame inside her that gave her strength and gave me hope.

Her first stab at college lasted six weeks.

“It’s not for me,” she told me over the phone. “All the sorority debs, the jocks. That’s not me. And this college town is dead.”

“It’s not the people or the place,” I told her. “It’s you. You’ve got to deal with that no matter where you are or what you do.”

“I know,” she sighed. “Just not here and now.”

“Stay in school and mom and I will support you. Drop out and you’re on your own.”

“Fair enough. Front me the first few months and I’ll pay you back?”

“Deal.”

And she did, working, taking occasional classes until she discovered she liked the action in the commodities market. She landed a job at the Kansas City Board of Trade working for a broker, studying for her trading license. Along the way to getting her head on straight, she did two stints in rehab and I helped her get two possession busts expunged.

“You’ll always have to be careful,” I told her. “Staying straight and sober is like working without a net.”

“Except I’ve got a net. You,” she said, and kissed my cheek.

Wendy more or less lived alone, the less being Colby Hudson, one of the agents on my squad. I wasn’t surprised when she got involved with him. Kids repeat more of their parents’ mistakes than they avoid, sometimes seeking them out. It was enough to make me shake.

Five seconds and the latest shaking stopped. I timed it. No one noticed. No one said “what the hell was that”? Ben Yates didn’t get out of his warm bed in the middle of the thunderstorm to shove a claim for disability in front of me, telling me where to sign and saying that he was sorry I missed my full pension by a lousy five years.

I checked my computer monitor. The Winston brothers hadn’t noticed, either. DeMarcus Winston was taking inventory, bags of crack spread out on the card table Marcellus used as a desk. A TV so old it had a rabbit-ears antenna sat in one corner, an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer keeping Rondell from helping his brother.

Using the arrow keys on the computer, I zoomed out, adjusting the focus on the camera. I picked up the image from the TV and the trail of smoke rising from the joint Rondell held between his lips.

The storm intensified, playing hell with the transmission, filling the audio with static when an explosion of thunder and lightning rocked the neighborhood, causing the lights to?icker on and off in the crack house. When the lights came back on, Rondell was staring at himself on the TV screen where Buffy had been a moment before. The electrically charged air had scrambled the signal from the camera, causing the TV to pick it up as a live broadcast.

Rondell stubbed out his joint, stepped closer to the TV, and motioned DeMarcus to join him. I adjusted the camera to give me a wide view of them as they watched themselves on the TV, waving like kids playing a game in a mirror, watching as they waved back at themselves, their faces scrunched, mystified. My face was as twisted as my gut. They’d lost a rerun. I was about to lose a case.

I had enough evidence to nail Marcellus, but I didn’t have what I really wanted-the identity of his supplier and a line on his money. Watching the Winston brothers watch themselves, I realized that Marcellus would be in the wind the instant he discovered the camera. I hated to shut the operation down, but I had no choice. Maybe I could persuade Marcellus to roll over.

I had a SWAT team on standby. I picked up my cell phone to call Troy Clark, the team leader, and send them in when Rondell threw a blanket over the television, his voice now sharp and clear.

“Ain’t no motherfuckin’ vampire killer gonna spy on us.”

“Which one of you the vampire?” Marcellus asked, stepping into the picture.

I wasn’t breathing, but I wasn’t shaking. I punched Troy’s speed dial.

DeMarcus explained, pointing to the television. “We on the box. Rondell covered it up so’s nobody can see what we doin.”

Troy answered on the first ring. “You aren’t going to believe this,” I told him.

Marcellus pulled the blanket off the television, jostling the rabbit-ears antenna enough to restore Buffy just as the credits rolled.

“Yo, dogs,” Marcellus said, “just count the shit; don’t be smokin’ it, too.”

I started breathing and shaking. Troy interrupted both.

“Believe what, Jack?”

“Nothing,” I managed, the shakes adding a quick stutter to my voice. “Call you later.”

I hung up the phone as the lights in the house went out again. There was no thunder or lightning this time, just Marcellus shouting “what the fuck?” the answer coming in a burst of gunfire. I called Troy back as I ran for my car, the sounds of additional gunfire echoing behind me.

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