Shameless

6

Well, that hadn’t exactly gone as he had planned.

Ian had a feeling it had gone exactly as Courtney had planned though. The scheming little witch.

A smile threatened to tug at his mouth as he acknowledged the fact that she had done as no other woman had managed in more years than he cared to remember. She had made him lose control.

He should be angry at her, hell, he should be angrier with himself. He hadn’t even remembered to don a condom.

He grimaced at the thought of that added, forgotten protection. He knew she was on birth control, but that was no excuse. He rarely allowed himself the freedom of sex without a condom. Kimberly had been the first in recent memory. And now Courtney.

He sighed wearily, turning from the sight of her sleeping form and pacing to the window to stare into the night with a frown.

His flesh prickled with the memory of the pleasure he had found in releasing his own control. It was a bittersweet memory, tinged with regret. If he was going to carry through with this abrupt change in the relationship he shared with Courtney, then he was going to have to be very careful. A hell of a lot more careful than he had been thus far.

The woman was enough to make a saint crazy, he admitted to himself. From the moment she had walked through the door to his home she had tempted, teased and pushed her way past his defenses.

Any other woman would have been out on her ass weeks before. But this was Courtney. And he had admitted that some part of him had known exactly what she was up to when her father had called, expressing her desire to visit for a while. He had known and he had allowed her to arrive anyway.

This rested on no one’s head but his own.

What now?

He rubbed his hand over his face as he snorted mockingly.

Dane would of course kill him. It was just a matter of time before the other man found out that Ian was fucking his sweet, precious little girl. And Ian couldn’t even blame him. If he had a daughter, he’d lock her in her room until she was a dried-up old prune to keep her from entering the life he lived.

For the first time since he had entered the sexual, carnal atmosphere of sharing his women, Ian felt a pang of remorse. Remorse because he knew he could never truly be happy, sexually, without the excesses he had come to enjoy. And because he knew innocence such as Courtney’s could never survive within it.

Sighing wearily, he picked his pants from the floor and pulled them on over his underwear quickly before fastening them. Jerking his shirt over his shoulders seconds later, he strode to the door and opened it silently before leaving Courtney’s room.

It was too late to go back, and he knew it. Hell, he didn’t want to go back. Fucking her had been more pleasure than he had imagined it could be. Seeing her uninhibited response had spiked his arousal further. The challenge she presented kicked his sexuality into overdrive.

She had won this round.

He had lost control.

He smiled coldly as he entered his own room and headed for the shower. The next round would be his though. She thought emotion was the basis for sex. For her, it always would be. He had learned years ago though, to never allow emotion to interfere with the sensual side he possessed. The potential for pain was just too great.

He could enjoy a woman, pleasure one and be pleasured by them. His sex drive was, at times, all-consuming. It was his greatest hunger. And somehow, Courtney had managed to tap into an area of that sexuality that he had been unaware of. His affection for her and his knowledge of her innocence was a heady aphrodisiac for some unknown reason. He couldn’t figure out why, had never been able to understand why she could make him so hard, so damned fast and so hungry for her that even his fantasies became filled with her.

As the hot, soothing water of the shower pelted over his skin, he closed his eyes, remembering her hands, her mouth, the wickedness in her eyes. There was so much he could show her, so many ways to pleasure that he could teach her, without stealing the innocent joy he saw in her gaze. He didn’t have to share her. There was no need to dim that purity with his more extreme desires.

For a moment, the memory of her dark, laughter-filled brown eyes was replaced with hazel, staring sightlessly, accusingly up at him.

His jaw clenched.

Opening his eyes he hurriedly finished the quick shower before drying and padding back to his bed. He wanted nothing more than to join Courtney in her bed. To pull the warmth of her body close and hold her as he slept.

He threw himself into his own bed instead, growling at the thought of the many ways he would never get any sleep if he did anything so foolish.

Yet, as he stared up at the ceiling, a frown creasing his brow, he found himself fighting the urge to do just that, rather than to sleep.

You’re so depraved, Ian. I sold my soul into hell to be your woman. To what end? This is my end.

The words haunted him. Written words signed in blood.

Yes. He was depraved. He was well aware of the extremity of his tastes, and he had made certain his lovers were well aware of it as well. He had never pretended to be anything other than what he was. Yet, it seemed he paid daily for one mistake, for allowing his emotions to cloud the sex and failing to see the danger his lifestyle could pose to another.

She had been young. Hell, he had been young.

Her name had been Melissa. Melissa Gaines. And she had killed herself because of him, because of his hungers, his depravities. Because he had taken an innocent and introduced her to the lifestyle that had drawn him so fiercely.

He had wanted to please her. Had wanted to show her all the pleasures he knew could await her. Hell, he had thought he had loved her. He had swiftly learned the difference between a woman of experience and one too innocent to call a halt to what she saw as nothing more than a game to secure his heart.

He had shared her. He had touched her, glorying in her cries of pleasure, her pleas for more, whispering his praise, drawing her to him as her orgasms shuddered through her body. And he had thought nothing else could be as good. That he couldn’t love any woman as much as he loved Melissa. Until he walked into his apartment the next day to find her lifeless body, her accusation written on a single sheet of paper beside her.

It hadn’t mattered that she had a history of psychiatric problems, or that he had been unaware of them. Even her father’s forgiveness and his tearful explanations of his daughter’s weaknesses hadn’t stemmed the guilt. She had died because she couldn’t handle what he had asked of her. Because she had wanted his love so desperately that she would do something that she couldn’t live with in the cold light of day.

And he had sworn it would never happen again.

Innocence would never suffer at his hands again.

And here was Courtney. So damned innocent he couldn’t believe she wasn’t a virgin. So daring, wickedly so, yet as soft and new as dawn. She was as different as day from night to Melissa. Yet, she served as a cold reminder to the mistakes of the past.

One would think, that with the extremely explosive orgasm the night before, and the fact that she had finally managed to push Ian that final step into a physical relationship, that she would feel some sort of satisfaction.

She felt only remorse.

Courtney sat silently in the bleak, winter-shrouded garden, perched on the top of the cement table that a summer growth of greenery would have hidden from view. Now, it sat like a lonely sentinel in a garden that was presently sleeping the short, dreary cold days away.

Her feet were propped on the curved bench below it, one arm lying across her knees as she propped the elbow of the other on her leg and braced her chin within it to stare across the silent gardens into the pine forest beyond.

The thick cashmere sweater she wore and snug jeans protected her from the outside cold, but it was the chilly foreboding within her that caused her to shiver.

She had been such a child, thinking herself grown up enough to seduce a man such as Ian. Believing she could walk in, and one step at a time, find something he wanted no woman to touch. Believing that she could somehow touch his heart as easily as she could touch his body.

Not that she had expected it to be easy. She hadn’t.

And it wasn’t as though her heart had given up on Ian. That was impossible.

She was young, true. But she knew her heart, just as she knew that her body responded to no one as it did to him. Which left her between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.

Ian would keep the relationship purely physical now. He would use her own inexperience against her, just as he had the night before, to keep his control. It wasn’t possible to wage this battle on an equal footing.

She breathed out wearily, shaking her head at the mess she had found herself in. She should have anticipated this. Her mother had warned her that Ian would not be as easy to conquer as she had convinced herself he would be.

“Ms. Mattlaw, you have a call…” the house butler, Jason, spoke behind her, interrupting her morose thoughts as she turned to him.

He extended the cordless phone to her, nodding coolly before turning and retreating.

“Hello?” She frowned as she raised the receiver to her ear.

“Courtney, it’s Tally Conover.” The smooth cultured voice spoke with lazy amusement. “We didn’t get to talk much during your introduction party. I’m Lucian and Devril’s wife.”

“I remember you. Ian was quite insistent on pulling me away from your group.” Courtney smiled at the memory of Ian’s harassed expression.

“I heard you still had quite a bit of shopping to complete,” the other woman drawled. “I’m at loose ends today and thought I would invite you to join me as I hit the stores. With the parties coming up in the next few months, I find myself in need of new shoes, and perhaps a dress or two.”

And a bit of gossip to finish out the trip, Courtney read between the lines quite well.

“Sounds good. Where should I meet you?”

Tally chuckled knowingly. “Jason will inform Ian I called you, so I may as well pick you up myself. How about around eleven? We could stop for lunch, and then begin shopping in earnest. We might even extend the trip to dinner if you like. We could invite Terrie Wyman and a few others and have a real girls’ night out.”

“Why do I get the feeling I should bring the barbeque sauce,” Courtney responded with an edge of self-mockery.

“No darling, they baste you in your own juices at a roast. I promise, you’ll survive the outing,” Tally assured her, her laughter filled with friendly mockery. “So, are we on?”

“Of course,” Courtney responded, as though there had been no doubt. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

There as a small stretch of silence, then a light chuckle.

“I think you’ll fit in well, Courtney. I’ll pick you up in about an hour and a half then. Bring plenty of credit cards and wear comfortable shoes. I haven’t been shopping in weeks.”

The line disconnected as Courtney moved from the tabletop and began to walk back to the house. Tally Conover, who claimed to be married to both Conover twins and rumored to, at the very least, hold both men in the very palm of her hand. The gossip Courtney had heard regarding the other woman was vivid to say the least. The jealousy she had heard in the voices of the supposedly decent women who had sneered contemptuously, had been rife.

As she stepped back into the house, Ian’s butler materialized from another room, glancing at the phone she carried questioningly. The man had to be a robot.

“Jason, could you inform Ian I’ll be out for the day.” She handed him the phone as she headed to the stairs. “And possibly this evening as well.”

“Of course, Miss Mattlaw,” he responded coolly. “Shall I tell him where you’ll be?”

She stopped at the first step and turned back to the butler with a frown. Why the hell would Ian care?

“That’s not necessary,” she said coolly. “I’m certain I’m old enough to go out alone now. I’ll have my cell phone with me if he needs me though.”

He inclined his head once again, his expression composed, reflecting little if any emotion.

“I will relay your message then.”

Courtney had the oddest desire to snort derisively at his arrogance. As though she were somehow putting him, or Ian, out with her plans. Devil take them both, she was tired of wandering around this bloody mansion waiting on Ian to find a few spare moments to spend with her. And after last night, she wasn’t even certain she wanted to see him.

After giving her that long-awaited orgasm, leaving her voice hoarse from her own screams, and leaving her body tender from his lust, he dared to sleep elsewhere, to not even be there when she awakened. As far as she was concerned, there was little chance that he even cared if she returned before morning.

Stubborn man. He was so intent to show her how little it mattered, how little she would matter as his lover, that he was cutting his own nose off to spite his face. And it was a game she wasn’t willing to play.

Entering her bedroom, she strode to the closet. The sweater and jeans were perfect for a day in the garden, but shopping required clothing more suited to the adventure. Something easily taken off, to make way for changes. Low-heeled shoes rather than the high-heeled, half-boots she now wore.

As she reached into the closet for the below knee-length, button-up cotton sweater dress she chose, the bedroom door was pushed opened rather forcefully, to clash against the wall. Turning, she frowned at Ian, as he stood framed in the doorway.

“Your entrances leave much to be desired,” she stated mockingly.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going with Tally Conover?” His expression was borderline angry.

“Shopping,” she answered him with a shrug as she laid the dress over the back of the nearby chair before stooping to retrieve the low-heeled walking shoes she had bought to go with it.

“Tally never just goes shopping.” He snorted. “Shopping to her is seeing how much trouble she and those other women can create in one day.”

“Excellent.” She flashed him a brilliant smile as she straightened and set the shoes on the floor beside the chair. “Sounds like the type of company I enjoy. Life would be rather boring otherwise, Ian.”

“Not for you.” He closed the door behind him, watching her broodingly. “You create enough havoc on your own. You don’t need any help.”

She allowed a sense of pleasure and pride to infuse her expression.

“Thank you, Ian. That’s one of the nicest compliments I’ve received today. Now, I really need to get ready.”

A quick frown furrowed his brows.

“How long does it take to get ready to go shopping?”

“I’ll be pressed for time the way it is,” she sighed. “Tally will be here in an hour and a half.”

Actually, it took her no time to get ready, but she would be damned if she was ready to deal with Ian right now. He looked much too dark, too sexy for her peace of mind. Especially after last night.

“I would prefer that you didn’t go.” His expression filled with chilly disapproval.

“Why? Because Tally is married to two of the Trojans? What, you thought I hadn’t heard the gossip on your married members?” She laughed at the faint surprise in his expression. “It’s been a little over a week, Ian. I learned who was who, married when, and fucked where, during those two dismally boring parties you insisted I attend those first few days. I would guess I’m acquainted with the better portion of your club memberships through hearsay. By the way, is it really true that Khalid has a harem?”

His eyes closed briefly as he pushed his fingers through his dark, loose hair.

“Trouble waiting to happen,” he muttered as his eyes opened and he pinned her with a fierce stare. “After last night, I thought we could have lunch…”

“Why?” She propped her hand on her hip as she faced him squarely. “You set the rules this morning, Ian. You couldn’t even share the bed you fucked me in. I was remiss, I guess, in learning the rules before pressing myself into your life. I was under the impression lovers slept together.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I know you’re upset—”

Why now, she just couldn’t have him thinking she was upset, could she? She gave him a mental, mocking roll of her eyes.

“Actually I’m not.” She smiled lightly. “Merely adjusting. We can discuss this after dark perhaps. I’m certain the cold light of day makes things rather uncomfortable for you. It’s so much harder to hide from the truth then. I’ll make it easy on you and we’ll discuss it tonight. If I’m home in time.”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” His voice lowered almost dangerously.

“Tally mentioned dinner with friends.” There wasn’t a chance in hell she was going to let him intimidate her. “I may be late returning.”

That bit of information didn’t seem to please him very well. Good, she thought.

“Good Lord, the fate of the known universe is in danger,” he growled then. “Did she happen to mention the friends involved?”

He sounded rather serious. How cute. And how very interesting.

“Only one, actually. Terrie, I believe. I’m certain the known universe is in no danger from us though.”

“You don’t know Tally,” he grunted. “Stay here. We could spend the time together.”

She shook her head as she turned and walked across the room to the dresser.

“We can talk later, Ian,” she said as she pulled a drawer free and collected a thong and matching bra. “I’m not ready to discuss your horrid manners at this time. I’d prefer to relax for a while.”

“My horrid manners?” There was definitely a tone of offense there. “How the hell were my manners horrid? What’s gotten into you?”

She turned back to him, sighing deeply.

“You left my bed within ten minutes of believing I was asleep.” She counted off a finger. “You didn’t just leave my bed, you returned to your own.” She counted off another. “This morning, I awoke alone, without even an invitation to join you for breakfast.” The third finger went down. “And when I sought you out, Jason informed me, quite bluntly, that you were too busy to be bothered. Now go back to whatever required your attention and leave me be to get ready. At the moment, shopping is definitely preferable to being in your company.”

Well now, he didn’t appear to care much for that little announcement.

His eyes darkened, glittering with lust as his expression became decidedly carnal. Now wasn’t this interesting?

“You are the one who sought out my company,” he growled. “If you intend to leave for the entire fucking day, then you can at least be pleasant about it.” He advanced on her, his eyelids lowering, not exactly narrowing, but giving him a hungry, wicked look.

Her own response was immediate, and not welcome as far as she was concerned. Her breasts became instantly swollen, her nipples rasping against the soft material of the sweater as her pussy began to heat.

“I did not seek out your company,” she informed him imperiously. “I have left you alone this morning, Ian. And your dominance is not appreciated at this moment. Save it for a time when it might be.”

A smile curled his lip as she frowned back at him.

“My dominance is a twenty-four/seven kind of thing, Courtney,” he informed her darkly, stopping within inches of her as he stared down at her. “You’re right, you were very remiss in not reminding me to discuss the rules with you. I assumed you knew that when you informed me so confidently of how well you knew me.”

Before she could avoid him, before she could prepare herself, his arm lifted, his hands tangling in her long hair to pull her head back.

The sheer dominance of the move had her nerve endings instantly screaming in response. Perverts that those nerve endings could be. They were depraved. There was now no doubt about it.