Silo 49: Deep Dark

Chapter Twenty-Two

While Marina healed, she and Greta worked on the finds. Detailed reports were sent to the council and the replies were equal parts excitement, concern and admonitions for secrecy. Even after two weeks, ghosts of the bruises could still be seen on her neck and she wore her kerchief unrolled to hide as much as she could. She had not left the Memoriam during the healing, as much to preserve the secrecy of what had happened as her dignity.

Word had spread, of course, but it was limited to Taylor losing control out of grief and guilt that his caster had died without him being able to prevent it. It was a sympathetic tale and people moved on after a few re-tellings. Joseph visited twice a day, concerned but understanding the ways of the silo.

He had too much experience with people losing their perspective and needing remediation to not understand that something he would rather not know was going on behind the scenes. If he had suspected before that she was dealing with something from ‘before’, now he felt sure of it and his only concern was getting his wife back as soon as possible.

Her voice returned slowly but it did begin to return. It was not the same voice she had before but it was an interesting change to have a new one. It surprised her every time she heard it. The tube was finally removed but she was still on a soft food diet. Thin porridge, strained vegetables and nothing chewy at all were the fare she was allowed. The better she felt the more she worried over what Taylor had said to her, the look on Taylor’s face when she had mentioned his loss and the way he had said that all they found was poison.

One morning when they met for breakfast Greta told her the council would be meeting with them the next day. She kept her face so scrupulously neutral that Marina knew she was all nerves. It was how Greta dealt with things, she was coming to learn. Calm in the face of chaos.

“We need to get to the upper main medical facility first thing,” Greta added and left it open.

Marina felt her belly clench with nerves. It must have showed on her face because Greta squeezed her hand on the table and said, “It’ll be okay. He can’t hurt you again.”

In her new and croaking voice Marina said, “It’s not that. It’s just…everything.”

“I know. I feel the same. I really don’t know what will happen. We’ll just have to see,” Greta replied with a sigh. She gave one final squeeze of her hand and went off for her tray of food.

They took the stairs slowly during the dim-time. It was a little unnerving to be taking the stairs in the dark once more, and not just because of what happened to Piotr. It was in the dark that Taylor had watched her return. Greta had been mindful of it and provided them both with lights. Their packs were stuffed and heavy with all that she had brought back, a summary of their discoveries to date and their own personal goods for their stay.

The quiet of the silo during these late hours didn’t encourage conversation and kept their footfalls light. It was a long trip that way. They took breaks but even then they were subdued on the quiet landings where they stopped.

When they arrived, it was still deep into the dimming and they were tired and footsore. They would be staying in the medical facility since it usually had empty rooms, now being no exception. It was unnerving to be there. This was where remediation was done, along with other serious care that required a patient to remain for treatment. The mere idea of remediation often kept people from visiting and encouraged people to be well enough to go home somewhat faster than in medical facilities serving the mids or the down deep.

They napped and then prepared, Greta mumbling to herself as she practiced her opening remarks. Marina remained quiet, thinking of what she wanted to happen and also what was probably better did happen.

They were shown into a hastily prepared room. A hospital room just like the others, the two narrow wheeled beds had been removed and lined the hallway outside the door. Deep grooves had been worn into the tile after countless moves of the beds. Even the plastic baseboards had been worn thin in places where repeated scrubbings and rubs had occurred over the countless years.

Despite the signs of wear, the room was clean and smelled it. The lights were bright and shone down on a cluster of mismatched chairs around a battered but serviceable table. They had even provided pitchers of water and tea, along with several cups. It would do.

The council was not yet in place, but Marina and Greta were let in early to set up their exhibits and order their case. Once they opened their packs, no one but the council, and eventually Taylor, would be allowed to enter. Outside the door, a burly medic stood guard. He tuned a radio receiver to a channel not in use and filled the hallway with static so that no one might overhear. They were thorough; Marina had to give them that.

The presentation went surprisingly well considering what the two women were revealing. The council had read their confidential reports so it wasn’t a complete surprise but Marina would have expected more reaction when faced with the physical evidence of such momentous news. The most expressive reaction Marina saw came when she showed them the entry for the solar system and explained what it said and then showed them the one labeled Earth.

She passed the book in front of their faces so they could see the tiny dot that represented all those silos. The mayor’s eyes grew wide and Marina’s former supporter, Darren, opened his mouth in an amazed O and kept repeating that it must be huge. With every repetition the word huge altered as if he couldn’t find the right way to express it.

The meeting lasted for hours and fatigue had settled over her like a thick blanket by the time they broke for lunch. Knowing the strain they would be under, lunch rations had been laid out in the visitor’s room where they could eat without curious eyes upon them. It was almost completely silent during the entire meal. Everyone sat or stood, abortive attempts at small talk overcome by glazed expressions. The subtext of every word was clear. “Can you believe it?”

They didn’t even last the time allotted for lunch. Everyone had returned and was in their place before time so they pressed on. Now would come the part that Marina dreaded. The council wanted to know what had caused Taylor to react as he had when he encountered Marina that night. They felt it important to understand it in context.

He had been demanding that he be heard, that they were going to make a mistake and that they needed to hear him. The council had solicitously asked if she wanted to withdraw for his hearing and she considered it. Only for a moment, though. There were a few things she wanted to ask him, too.

Taylor had been held in seclusion with no contact other than the council medic. Even the guards that brought him meals wore earmuffs the same as the ones worn in mechanical. The belief in the silo that madness could be spread was a real one and based on real evidence. When one person tried to convince another to go with them outside or chisel through the silo walls to some imaginary place where things were better, sometimes that person listened. Remediation was a private thing. The madness and dangerous behavior that brought them there was also private. For Taylor, that privacy had been heightened because of what he might say.

Taylor was brought in wearing un-dyed pants and a matching shirt. It was what a medic might wear in surgery but it was also the uniform of the mentally unfit. The ends of restraints dangled from his wrists while padded bands encircled them. Without pockets to hide things in he was safer to be around. Without boots, he was less likely to try to run. It was simple logic but it made him look stripped and powerless. His face was pale and puffy, the lack of normal activity allowing weight to pad his fit frame. Even after what he had done, Marina hated to see him like that.

He met her eyes almost immediately but looked away just as fast. Marina could see the shame in his expression. Now that whatever had seized him had passed and the frenzy was gone, he clearly regretted his actions. The council’s questions were supposed to come first. Taylor gave them no opportunity. His eyes scanned the table and his lips tightened. He said, “You have to get rid of all of that. Destroy it.” It was said in a calm and very even tone, but it was not a suggestion. It was a command.

The mayor’s eyebrows lifted at the tone and he pressed his hands to the Legacy book. He leaned forward just the tiniest bit and replied, “I’m inclined to deny that request.”

Taylor’s fingers twitched in agitation and the council medic tightened his grip on Taylor’s arm. He pressed Taylor into a chair and then deftly tightened the free ends of the restraints to the chair arms. They fit perfectly and Marina noticed that the chair he was in was different from all the others. Since they were all different, she hadn’t noticed at first. His had a thicker, sturdier frame and wide flat armrests. She suppressed a little shiver because that was the chair she had almost chosen as her own.

Once secure, the medic stood and asked Taylor if he was comfortable, a silly question if ever Marina heard one. Taylor gave the man a nod and he retreated back to the council side of the table. He inclined his head at the Mayor and said, “You can go ahead now.”

The mayor cleared his throat and asked the big question first. “Why did you attack Marina?”

Taylor hadn’t expected that because he flinched and shot her a sidelong glance. He licked his lips nervously and answered, “I saw her come back and I just had the feeling she had something. Maybe it was her pack or something, but I just knew it.”

“So you attacked her?” Darren asked.

“No. I didn’t intend to do anything to her,” Taylor answered and paused.

He had been alone for enough time to create a smooth story that would come out perfectly, but he seemed to be searching for the right words. Marina thought that probably meant he was telling the truth. For some reason, it made her feel better.

“I really just went to see if I was right. Even when I opened her door, I kept thinking that I was being silly. I thought I would take a peek, see nothing and I could just put this all behind me.”

“But that isn’t what happened. What did happen?” the mayor asked.

He sighed deeply and looked down but he answered, “I opened the door and saw what she had.”

The council medic was paying attention to Taylor, his gaze an evaluating one, but Marina noticed that he was also looking at her similarly. It made her nervous but she understood. She was sitting near a person who had almost killed her. That was cause for some clinical interest, she supposed.

“And then?” the mayor prodded.

“I guess I just wanted it gone. Not her,” he said abruptly, looking up as he made his point. “I didn’t even know what all she had. I just saw the big book, some small books and all those papers. I tried to tell myself it was probably things from the archives. Things that we had already seen and dismissed. I had to look, though. I had to be sure.”

Marina remembered the open chart, the papers collected from where she had put them and how it felt to wake up and realize someone had been moving around in her room as she slept. She hadn’t considered how strange it must have been for him to be doing it.

The mayor was about to prod him further but Taylor cut him off, raising his fingers off the chair as much as the restraints allowed. “I looked at just a few things but it wasn’t hard to figure out that she had something entirely different. I saw the journals,” he pointed with his head toward the black books on the table, “and I knew what they were. We had been walking past the pages for long enough to recognize them right away. Then I saw the chart and I sat there a while, just looking at it. Something just…broke.”

She watched him talk, her hands pressed tightly to her legs to keep them from fluttering about. It helped her keep her peace. He had sat there a while? He had sat in her room and what? Decided to kill her? To take the objects no matter the cost?

Something must have shown on her face because the council medic interjected, “Based on what I’ve been able to draw from Taylor, at that point we believe he suffered a complete break with reality. When that happens, the idea of cause and effect, of action and consequence, starts to become meaningless. It’s rare, but it does happen. Usually when there is something occurring that simply can’t be accepted.” He motioned to the array of papers and books and said, “Something like this would qualify.”

The mayor listened, nodding his understanding and then looked back to Taylor. He asked, “Does that mean you don’t remember it?”

Taylor shook his head. “No. I wish I could say that, but I do. It just seems more like something from long ago or a little unreal or something.” He stopped and looked at Marina for the first time full in the face. He said, “I’m so very sorry.”

Marina felt tears prick her eyes. If he was asking for forgiveness, then he was going to be unsatisfied. She wasn’t ready for that. Not at all. She just looked away from him and didn’t acknowledge his words.

“Marina’s account was clear. She indicated that she awoke, you struggled over the book and that you pretended to stop only to attack her again as soon as the opportunity arose. Is this accurate?” the sheriff asked.

“Basically, yes,” Taylor answered, making no excuse.

“She also reports that you stopped on your own and made no further move to prevent her escape. Is that true?” he asked, making a few notes.

Taylor nodded and said, “Yes.” It was so quietly said that it would have been missed had the room not been so silent.

The council members looked at each other, giving each other meaningful little nods that held something she wasn’t privy to and didn’t want to be privy to. The mayor’s attention returned to those gathered in front of the table and to Taylor. “You understand what happens next. We have found nothing in your testimony today that would change our original decision or override the recommendations of the medic. We’d like to offer you the opportunity to address us if you think there is more that might influence our decision.”

Taylor blanched but remained very still. No one had said the word, but they were all very aware that he would leave here and undergo remediation, possibly the most drastic kind depending on how he responded to lesser forms. Either way, he wouldn’t leave this level the man he was now. When he left, whole parts of who he was would be gone. He seemed to gather himself, straightening in his chair and clearing his throat before speaking.

“I don’t have anything that I would expect to change your mind, but I do have something to say that I hope you’ll consider.” At the mayor’s nod, he went on. “You may have already made up your minds about what you have in front of you and what we found in the archives, but I’d like you to think again. This seems like good news. It’s exciting and different and it means we’re not alone. But it’s poison.”

Marina flinched a little at the word. It was the same way he had described it in her room right before he became dangerous. She could feel her palms beginning to sweat and had to work to resist the urge to stand up and back away from him. She looked at the council medic and he met her gaze. He didn’t make an overt movement, but his look told her that everything was okay. She wondered how he did that and if that was something medics practiced.

“Just look at Marina, at me and at Piotr,” Taylor went on and Marina looked up at the mention of her name. “She couldn’t stop looking and searching. She was compelled. And she is a fairly disciplined person as far as I can tell. And Piotr. He wouldn’t stop going on about how knowing how long we had been down here would change the way people viewed things. About how they could better hope and work for a future. About what more we might find.”

He stopped himself abruptly and his expression grew first hard and then regretful.

“You killed him,” Marina said. She said it quietly but without doubt. She hadn’t meant to say it but it had come out and she knew deep inside that it must be true.

All eyes shifted to Taylor then, some alarmed and others unsure. He just looked back at Marina. He nodded and said, “I did.”

“Why?” Greta demanded. She had remained silent during Taylor’s testimony. He had, after all, been one of the four allowed in on this secret and that brought people close very quickly. “Why would you do that?”

He shrugged again. With his hands tied to the chair, it seemed his shoulders had to do his expressing. “It just happened.”

“No, that’s not an answer. Killing people doesn’t just happen,” Greta said, rising a little in her seat and pointing an accusing finger at him. “You tell me right now.”

“We were on the stairs and he just kept talking about how people would be if we could tell them why we came to the silo. About how that might mean it would all end with us back outside. He wasn’t thinking! When I tried to explain what would really happen he just brushed me off. It was like he was just too excited to listen to sense!” He paused and swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut as he remembered. “Then the lights switched but didn’t come back. We were standing there on the stairs, being still just like you’re supposed to, and he told me that I didn’t have enough faith in humanity. Enough faith?”

Taylor shook his head, his expression bitter. He looked at Marina and then Greta when he said, “Faith? Look at what happened with us. Imagine it on a larger scale. Imagine if everyone acted the way we did.”

Marina knew what he was saying. She could see from the way Greta’s eyes flicked away from hers that she understood it too. Marina had kept secrets and searched without caring about consequences from the moment she encountered the pocket watch. She hadn’t just lied to her family, she had kept her clues even from those few who were supposed to share the secret. And Greta, she had forgotten that objective truth is to be found rather than leaping to conclusions. She became more a searcher than a historian. And Piotr, well, if Taylor was to be believed, then he had been filled with dreams of sharing their new possibilities with the silo. Taylor had become a killer. It was a very grim sort of math.

“I didn’t really decide to do it or anything. I just did it. I pushed him. Hard. He went over,” he finished, his voice fading away.

No one spoke for a moment, but each of the council members looked at the table and over what lay on it. Marina didn’t know precisely what they were thinking but the fact that they were all thinking hard was clear. She wondered which way their opinion would go. She looked at the fading red lines of scratches on his hands and face and remembered the vandalism of the switch and knew that it was no sudden impulse. It would do nothing more except bring Greta pain to delve further.

Taylor was watching them too. He broke the silence and said, “I’m not a medic or a historian or anything like that. But I do know what people are like. If they find out that there are more silos and that those silos aren’t necessarily Others and that we once talked to them, something will happen. The urge to know will eventually be too much. They will have to find out.” He motioned once more to the little black books and continued, “I didn’t get to read those so I don’t know what they say. But I will bet you that if those are really from before, you’ll find out that I’m right. I would stake my life that this was kept a secret before. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this. It will destroy us to know any of that.”

Greta’s face flushed and her eyes darted toward the Legacy and the chart and the pile of letters from Grace to Wallis with their faded ribbon holding them together. The mayor watched her and waited. So did Taylor, his agitation and hope and fear written on his face. Marina watched too and she saw all the emotions warring within Greta like they were written on her face. Finally she looked at the Mayor and said, “He’s right.”

The mayor gripped the Legacy book unconsciously but Greta held up a hand and continued, “He’s right about some of it but not all of it. Historians have always vowed to bring truth to the silo, but it is very clear that we were never given the truth to begin with. And we have kept some things secret for the well-being of all on more than one occasion. I think there is a reason for that and it is likely those reasons mirror Taylor’s own.”

The mayor couldn’t hold back any longer and he interrupted her with, “If you think we’re going to destroy this…”

Again, she held up the hand. “No. That is where he is wrong. Some of this is already a part of our deeply held beliefs. Like the Tenets. Some of the other things,” she pointed toward the chart, “may inspire just what Taylor fears. But we shouldn’t even consider destroying them.”

Marina held up her hand just as she did in her classes as a child when she hoped to be the one chosen to give an answer. When she was finally acknowledged, she said, “Unlike Taylor, Greta and I have read the Graham books. Though they are really Graham and Wallis books if we’re precise. Aside from Taylor’s assertion that everyone will go stark raving mad, Greta and I gave you the report on the place of the Others, Silo One.”

The mayor nodded, shuffling in his seat uncomfortably. It had been a frightening report and they had completely overtaken the wire terminal in the Memoriam as they sent messages back and forth. Taylor’s attention was riveted on her in a way that made her uncomfortable.

She had seen his eyes wide with rage and murder. It was hard to look at him now. But he hadn’t had any access to the find other than what he had while she slept. That couldn’t have been much. He must have been itching to know ever since.

“Well,” she continued, “from the way the books are written, it seems as if the other silos are divided into sides. Some are with the Others and the rest are a part of some sort of resistance to them. We were on that side, obviously.” There were nods all around. This much had been clear in their report. “But what we don’t know is how that might have changed. If we decide that this silo 40 is safe because they helped Graham and Wallis and they have since switched sides or been taken over or whatever it is the Others do, then we might simply expose ourselves.”

More nods came. This was territory they understood. Politics was a game that these people all played it to one extent or another.

“As it stands right now, the Others must think we’re dead and gone, correct?” Marina asked the room but didn’t wait for an answer. “If people do get the idea to go out and meet the silos, then the Others will know we’re very much alive. What Graham and his people went through might all start again.”

Taylor’s mouth hardened as she spoke and he shot a look at the council table. In his eyes was something like a dare, or a demand. “They don’t necessarily think we’re dead,” he said. He said it with conviction and surety and he glared at Greta when he spoke.

Marina looked at Greta and saw the other woman flush. She wouldn’t meet Marina’s eyes.

Taylor went on. “Why don’t you tell her what Piotr told me? Why don’t you tell her how we know the Others are still out there? I know you all know it.”

The mayor spoke up when Greta didn’t. “That isn’t for here, or right now. Greta, you and Marina know each other. It might be better coming from you.”

Greta still wouldn’t meet Marina’s eyes, but she gave a stiff nod of acquiescence.

Marina asked no one in particular, “What? Something to do with me?”

“Not now. Really,” the mayor said, his voice not entirely unsympathetic. “I agree that you should know. Honestly, I think we should have told you when you were adult enough to understand. But after enough years pass, well, it seems like it is best to just let things go.”

She was confused by his statement. Marina wondered what it could be. Her life had been utterly ordinary aside from losing her parents. Her train of thought stopped right there. Was that it? Was it something to do with how she and the other children lost their parents?

She looked at Greta, hoping to read an answer there but the other woman was looking anywhere but at Marina. She clenched her hands on her coveralls and tried to push it aside for the moment, reminding herself that she had gone her whole life without knowing whatever it was. She could get past this meeting without it.

“So what are you going to do with all that we found?” asked Marina.

The mayor sighed and smoothed his hands across the cover of the Legacy again. “We’re going to have to figure that out. Let’s adjourn.”