Simple Genius

Chapter 31

When Horatio Barnes returned to Linda Sue Buchanan’s house that evening her man, Daryl, didn’t look too happy about what his little lady was planning. He was a big, sloppy fellow, his greasy T-shirt stretched wide over both chest and belly. He held the baby in one beefy paw and a can of Michelob in the other.

Daryl bellowed, “You don’t even know this little dude, Lindy. He might be some damn sex rapist for all you know.”

“Well, if you think about it, most rapists are sex rapists,” Horatio said pleasantly. “In fact I’ve seen a few of them in prison.”

“See, what’d I tell you? Dude’s been in the joint,” Daryl declared.

“No, I consulted with several state prison systems to counsel inmates. But unlike my patients I could leave at the end of the day.”

Linda Sue checked her purse and pulled out her keys. “We’re going in separate cars, Daryl, and I got my Mace and this.” She held out a compact revolver.

Daryl looked relieved at the sight of the firearm. “Well if he tries anything you just shoot his ass.”

“That’s the plan,” Linda Sue said, matter-of-factly checking the ammo in her gun.

“Hold on a minute, folks,” Horatio said. “First, no one’s shooting anybody. And by the way do you have a permit for that thing?”

Daryl snorted. “Hell this is Tennessee, man, ain’t need no permit to carry a gun in good old Tennessee.”

“You might want to check that again,” Horatio said. “And I’m here only to talk to Linda Sue’s grandmother. I told her she could just give me the directions to the place and I’d go myself.”

Daryl whipped around to look at her. “Is that right? So why you going then?”

“I’m going so I get paid, you dumb-ass,” she snapped.

“I tell you what, I’ll give you the hundred dollars right now, and you can just hang here with your debonair man about town,” Horatio said while Daryl gave him a confused look.

“No way. My understanding was that a hundred bucks was the minimum and if the information Granny got is real good, it’d be worth more. Maybe a lot more.”

“Well, that wasn’t my understanding.”

“Do you want to go see Granny or not?”

“A hundred bucks! Damn!” Daryl said as the amount finally sank into his clouded head.

“Okay, you win. Let’s go,” Horatio said.

“Thought you’d see it my way,” Linda Sue said with a little smirk.

Daryl called after them from the porch. “Hey, Lindy, if you got to shoot him make damn sure you got the money first.”

“Well, if she shot me, she could take all my money since I’d hardly be in a position to object,” Horatio said helpfully.

“Hey, that’s right,” Daryl agreed excitedly. “Baby, you listening to this?”

Horatio held up a cautionary hand. “But then she’d have to spend the rest of her life in prison for murder and armed robbery. In fact, in good old Tennessee that might just get you the death penalty. And that might apply to accessories before the fact. I hope you recognize your role.”

Daryl simply stared at him, his mind unable to form a response.

Horatio turned to Linda Sue. “Make sure you don’t shoot yourself.”

“I’ve got the damn safety thingy on,” she snapped.

“That’d be quite a feat, since revolvers don’t have safeties.”

“Oh,” Linda Sue said.

“Yeah, oh.”