Six Cats A Slayin'

SIX

I posed my question about the kittens to Stewart and Haskell later in the day. “I was planning to go to the pet store this afternoon but didn’t make it there. I simply forgot, I guess.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what my memory’s coming to these days. Anyway, I called them about half an hour ago, and they don’t have a big enough cage in stock at present. They said it would take a week or so to get one, and I told them I’d think about it. I’m not sure what to do, but I obviously need to do something sooner than that.”

“Haskell and I were discussing that ourselves,” Stewart said, sounding a bit smug. “I think we’ve found, well, Haskell has found the solution.”

“Really? What’s your idea?” I asked, turning to Haskell.

“I can build something for you that ought to do what you want,” he replied. “You buy the materials, and I’ll supply the design and the labor. With Stewart’s assistance.” He glanced at his partner, and Stewart nodded, smiling.

“Sounds great to me. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this,” I said.

“Glad to help out,” Haskell replied.

“How long do you think it will take?”

“A few hours, I reckon. I can do it tomorrow,” Haskell said. “Long as I don’t get called in for anything.” His work schedule could be unpredictable, I knew. He sometimes got called to fill in for another deputy or in cases of emergency.

“Wonderful,” I replied. “Write down what you need, and I’ll get it this evening.”

After that, we discussed the dimensions of the enclosure Haskell proposed to build, and once we had settled on those, Haskell started jotting down the items he needed. He made a few calculations as he went, and within half an hour he had completed his list.

I drove to the building supply store right away. I estimated that by the time I located everything and had it loaded and paid for, I’d be home again in time for dinner. Helen Louise was joining us tonight, and I was looking forward to talking to her about the upcoming holiday party at Gerry Albritton’s house. I was able to spend a little more time with Helen Louise since she had made the decision a couple of months ago to start cutting back on her hours at the bistro. I didn’t think she had cut back as much as she really needed, for the sake of her own general well-being, but she was slowly making progress.

At the store I simply handed over Haskell’s list, and store personnel found everything for me. I went to high school with the owner of the place. His family had owned the business since the early part of the last century, and customer service was a priority for them. The whole errand took less than an hour, and they delivered everything about thirty minutes after I got home. Haskell and Stewart helped unload it all, and Haskell assured me they would have the enclosure assembled by the following afternoon.

Later, over the dinner table, Helen Louise and I, along with Stewart and Haskell, enjoyed the chicken salad Helen Louise had made. We talked about the party while we ate.

“I’ve already had a call from Milton Harville,” I told the others. “He didn’t sound all that keen on the party.”

“Because of Tammy, I’m sure,” Helen Louise said. “I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone as possessive as she is. Poor Milton can hardly talk to women customers at the pharmacy without her going crazy.”

Stewart laughed. “I know this will sound bitchy, but I can’t imagine any woman besides Tammy ever looking twice at Milton. He is the kindest, most generous man I know, but he doesn’t exactly have the most sparkling personality. Plus he talks and talks and talks, and you end up spending three times as much time at the pharmacy as you need.”

“I know what she sees. A healthy paycheck.” Haskell scowled. “I knew her in high school, and the only guys who interested her were the ones with money. Back then Milton was already working for his dad and his grandfather, and he always had a little cash to throw around. Unlike some of us.”

“According to Milton, Gerry Albritton was mighty friendly to him.” I glanced at Helen Louise. “As she was with me.”

Helen Louise grimaced. “I think she plays up to men as a matter of course. No telling what she’s really after.”

“I can see why you don’t want to go to her party, Charlie.” Stewart grinned at me. “Our Charlie doesn’t like the man-eater type.”

“No, our Charlie doesn’t.” I frowned at Stewart. “There will be plenty of men at the party, I have no doubt, and she’s welcome to lavish her attention on them.”

Helen Louise laughed. “Most of them will be with their wives, at least if the guests are all from the immediate neighborhood. I can’t think of any single men, offhand.”

“Will the grande dame of the neighborhood be there, do you think?” Stewart asked.

I looked at him, puzzled. “Who is the grande dame of the neighborhood?”

“Deirdre Thompson,” Stewart and Helen Louise said in unison. They laughed.

“I’m sure she was invited,” Helen Louise said. “Our hostess must know by now who Deirdre is.”

“And surely Deirdre has condescended enough to call upon the new addition to the neighborhood,” Stewart said. “She always has done in the past.”

“She did when I moved in to the house after my aunt’s death.” I recalled the occasion with grim amusement. Deirdre and Diesel had taken one look at each other, and Diesel had left the room. Deirdre hadn’t lingered, either. I shared this with the others.

Hearing his name, Diesel warbled loudly from the doorway. I looked over to see him accompanied by Fred and George. I groaned and pointed to the trio. “This is why I desperately need a way to pen up these miscreants.” Even before I finished speaking, the two kittens had galloped across the floor and made as if to climb up Haskell’s legs, which, fortunately for him, were covered in denim.

Haskell grabbed the kittens before they had ascended to the table. He grinned at them. “Maybe I should start on their corral tonight instead of waiting for tomorrow.”

“Thanks, but I suppose the house will survive one more night,” I said. Diesel lay down beside my chair. The poor boy looked exhausted. I said as much to the others.

“Babysitting is a tough job,” Helen Louise said. “Especially when there are five of them. Poor Diesel. He’s such a sweet boy, looking after the kittens.”

Diesel raised his head and chirped. I reached down and rubbed his head.

Haskell rose from the table, Fred and George cradled in his arms. “Back in a minute.” He left the kitchen.

Diesel didn’t stir. I thought he had gone to sleep.

“Do you think Haskell and I are included in the invitation?” Stewart asked. “I’d give a lot to see Deirdre in action with all the lesser mortals from the neighborhood.”

“I don’t see why not,” I said. “The more the merrier.”

“I haven’t seen dear Deirdre around much lately,” Stewart said. “Not since her third husband died. I suppose she’s been busy shopping for number four.”

Helen Louise laughed. “How many eligible men her age are there with enough money to interest her?”

Stewart grinned. “Oh, I imagine she has widened her field for this one. I heard somewhere that she’s been spending a lot of time in Memphis lately.”

Haskell returned, sans kittens. “Who’re you talking about?” He resumed his seat.

“Deirdre,” Stewart said. “On the prowl for a new husband.”

“Not that Deirdre isn’t an interesting subject,” Helen Louise said, “but let’s get back to Gerry Albritton. Have you noticed the two for-sale signs in the neighborhood?”

“The ones with Albritton Realty on them?” Haskell asked.

Helen Louise nodded.

“Where are they?” I asked. “I don’t recall seeing them.”

“There’s one on my street, about three blocks from my house,” Helen Louise said. “Where Mr. Murdoch lived.”

“Our old high school principal?” I asked after a moment’s reflection. “I saw that he died a few weeks ago.”

“More like two months,” Helen Louise said with a wry smile. “But you’ve had a lot on your mind since then, with a new granddaughter and baby Charlie.”

I nodded. “Where’s the other sign?”

“Three streets over, toward the railroad tracks,” Haskell replied. “Family named Merriman owned it for years. Elderly lady was the last one living there, and she died about two months ago.”

“And here’s our neighbor Gerry selling two houses in the area,” Stewart said. “I wonder how many other elderly neighbors there are around us.”

“Why do you wonder that?” I asked.

“Maybe Gerry is bumping them off so she can sell their houses,” Stewart said. “There are quite a few old folks in this area. We could start seeing those signs popping up all over the place.”

Haskell regarded his partner’s flippancy with a repressive frown. “Be careful where you say things like that.”

Stewart rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t say that in front of anyone else.” He paused for a grin. “Well, hardly anyone else.”

Haskell shook his head, and Helen Louise and I exchanged wry smiles. Stewart’s irreverent sense of humor occasionally went a little too far, but as long as he confined such remarks to the present company, there would be no harm done.

Stewart rose from the table. “On that note, dear ones, I think it’s time I fetched Dante and took him out for a walk.” He gazed at Haskell. “Will you join us?”

Haskell stood. “No, I’ll clear the table. My turn, I think.”

“I’ll help you,” I said, also rising. “No, you stay where you are.” Helen Louise had started to get up, but she sank back in her chair at my words. “You were on your feet at the bistro today.”

“I’m not going to argue,” she said.

Haskell and I had the table cleared by the time Stewart returned with his poodle on a leash, ready for their walk. Both master and dog wore sweaters. Diesel roused long enough to chirp tiredly at his friend, while Dante wiggled and woofed ecstatically upon seeing his good buddy. Dante pulled at his leash to approach the cat, and Stewart allowed the leash to extend. Dante licked Diesel’s face. The cat put a large paw on the dog’s head and pushed him away.

Stewart and I chuckled, and he drew Dante along toward the front door. “We’ll be back soon,” he said.

I put away the leftovers while Haskell loaded the dishwasher. We chatted in desultory fashion as we worked. By tacit agreement, it seemed, we avoided further discussion of Gerry Albritton. Frankly, I was tired of the subject.

My respite from my irritating neighbor didn’t last long, however. Stewart and Dante returned after a few minutes. As he entered the kitchen, Stewart brandished a piece of paper.

“Wait till you see this flyer, Charlie. It was stuck to the front door,” he said. “I spotted them at several houses up and down the street.”

I took the flyer, which was the size of a regular piece of copier paper, and scanned the contents. I began to read aloud.

“Tired of mortgage payments? Fed up with costly repairs? Ready to downsize and move? We buy houses, no questions asked, no inspections required, at good prices. Give us a call, and let’s do business.”

I looked at Helen Louise. “The contact information is for Geraldine Albritton’s real estate office.”

“What on earth is she up to?” Helen Louise frowned. “Is she trying to buy up the whole neighborhood?”