Sixkill

25

It had rained fourteen out of the first nineteen days of this month. And it was at it again. I was in my office, reading Doonesbury, Arlo & Janis, and Tank McNamara. I spent a lot of time on Doonesbury, because I had to read it twice. When I finished, I poured some fresh coffee and began to think about Dawn Lopata.

That she had spent sexual time with Jumbo seemed certain. That during that time she had died also seemed certain. Who was responsible for that, and why, was not certain. After being at this for a month, I knew more about everybody involved. But I didn’t know how Dawn Lopata died. I looked down through the rain at Berkeley Street, where there was a jangle of colorful umbrellas.

“Progress,” I said to the street, “is our most important product.” My office door opened behind me. I swiveled around. And two men came in. Maybe progress had come knocking. The taller man was evenly tanned, with a big mustache and silvery hair worn long. He was wearing pressed jeans and black lizardskin cowboy boots, with a black velvet blazer and a white shirt unbuttoned to his sternum. His partner was a little shorter. He was wearing a full Brad Pitt. Black shoes, black suit, white shirt, black tie. His tan was darker than the other guy’s, and his black hair was slicked back tight against his scalp.

“Where’s Moe?” I said.

“What?” the tall guy said.

I shook my head.

“A little Three Stooges humor,” I said. “Pay it no mind.”

I gestured the men toward my client chairs.

“My name’s Silver,” the tall guy said. “Elliot Silver. I run Silver Star Security.”

He took a card and placed it on my desk where I could look at it.

“Wow,” I said. “I feel safer already.”

“This is Carson Ratoff,” Silver said.

Ratoff put his card next to Silver’s and sat down beside him.

“I’m an attorney,” Ratoff said.

“Can’t have too many of them,” I said.

“We represent Jumbo Nelson,” Ratoff said.

“Me too,” I said.

“We would like to discuss that with you,” Ratoff said.

“Let’s,” I said.

“Since local counsel, whom we employed, has been fired, and since you were employed by local counsel, why are you still investigating?”

“An unquenchable thirst for knowledge?” I said.

Ratoff looked at Silver. Silver nodded slowly.

“That must be it,” he said.

“Sometimes I work for tips,” I said.

Silver looked down for a moment and rubbed his forehead with the fingertips of his left hand. Then he looked up.

“So you don’t have anybody paying you right now?” he said.

“Sadly... no.”

“Maybe you could work for us,” Silver said.

“Great,” I said. “What do you want to hire me to do?”

“That depends,” Silver said.

I smiled my friendly neighborhood gumshoe smile.

“On what?” I said.

I was pretty sure I knew.

“Lemme put it to you this way,” he said. “You investigate your ass off, as far as it takes you, and you conclude that Jumbo is guilty as hell. Whaddya gonna do?”

“What would you like me to do?” I said.

“Tell us,” Silver said.

“Happy to,” I said.

“And nobody else,” Silver said.

“Just the cops,” I said. “Maybe the DA.”

“And if you conclude he’s innocent?” Silver said.

“I’ll tell you at once,” I said. “And the cops and the DA.”

“Got no problem,” Silver said. “But we’d like to see if there’s something we could do about the guilty part.”

“Like I tell you, and then shut up about it?”

“That’d be about right,” Silver said.

“Our firm,” Ratoff said, “pays consultants very well.”

“That’s what I’d be?” I said. “A consultant?”

“Yes.”

“How much is my consulting fee?” I said.

“Six figures would not be unreasonable,” Ratoff said.

“Wow,” I said.

“There’d be a confidentiality agreement, of course,” Ratoff said.

“Of course,” I said.

“So you’ll do it?” Ratoff said.

“No,” I said.

Ratoff sat back and stared at me.

“Why?” he said.

“My dog would know,” I said.

“Your dog?”

“Pearl,” I said. “When she sniffed me, I would no longer smell like rain.”

“Rain?” Ratoff said.

“What the fuck are you talking about,” Silver said.

“Faulkner?” I said. “Surely you read The Sound and the Fury?”

“Never heard of it,” Silver said.

“There’s this guy, Benjy,” I said, “who’s retarded, and his sister Caddy always smells like rain to him...”

“Shut up,” Silver said.

I was quiet.

“We tried the easy way,” Silver said. “It’s not the only way.”

“You could grovel,” I said.

Silver shook his head.

“Don’t fuck around with this,” Silver said. “There’s some very important people involved in this. L.A. people. You don’t know them, and they like it that way. But trust me, they are important.”

“To whom?” I said.

Ratoff took a try at it.

“There is a great deal of money invested not only in the current film,” he said, “but in Jumbo Nelson.”

I nodded.

“They are astute businessmen,” Ratoff said. “They protect their investment. And their approach to protecting their investment is often quite direct.”

“You work for them?” I said.

“I represent them upon occasion.”

“Who are they?” I said.

“They prefer anonymity,” Ratoff said.

“I’ll bet they do,” I said.

I looked at Silver.

“You?” I said.

“I am on retainer to Mr. Ratoff’s firm,” Silver said.

“My clients,” Ratoff said, “consider you a loose cannon in this situation, and they want you out of it, whatever way is most efficacious, and they don’t care what it requires.”

“Efficacious,” I said. “You sure you haven’t read The Sound and the Fury?”

“I looked into you,” Silver said. “Everybody said you thought you were tough and funny.”

“But good-natured,” I said.

“Well, I don’t think you are either,” Silver said.

“Not even funny?” I said. “That’s cold.”

“One way or another,” Ratoff said, “this situation is going to evolve without you.”

“Do your damnedest,” I said. “Unless this was it.”

“This was not it,” Silver said.

“Good,” I said. “ ’Cause this was pathetic.”

Both men stood.

“You’ll hear from us again,” Silver said.

“Words to live by,” I said. “Now get the hell out of my office.”

Which they did.