Something Rotten

1

'Oh, how I wish my worthless body would melt into a liquid and then evaporate.'

2

'Or that God had not decreed suicide a complete no-no.'

3

'Oh God, oh God! How tired, stale and boring life seems to me.'

4

'Oh, damn and double blast! I feel like a garden that's left to seed and overtaken by all those really annoying weeds, like Japanese knotweed or nettles, both of which can be destroyed by using a recommended herbicide, available from Jekyll Garden Centres.

Footnoterphone simultaneous translation sponsored by Jekyll Garden Centres.