Step On A Crack

Chapter 51

EUGENA HUMPHREY WAS so deeply zoned into her soothing Pranayama yoga breathing that at first she didn’t even notice when Laura Winston stood up. Eugena’s breath escaped from the high part of her lungs in a definitively non-Tantric gush when the elegant fashion guru suddenly started moaning like a rabid squirrel.

A second ago, the fashion diva had been sleeping blissfully. Now, with her pasty face and her exquisitely colored hair in a rat’s nest, she looked like she might have been sleepwalking. Except that her eyes were open.

“Sit down, Laura,” Eugena said. “You saw what happened to Mercedes. These men aren’t playin’.”

Eugena tugged the hem of the fashionista’s butter-soft black suede Chanel skirt.

“Get your hands OFF ME!” Laura Winston screamed.

Hysterical, Eugena thought. She had to calm the woman down before she got herself killed.

“Laura, what’s wrong?” Eugena said as calmly as she could. “Just talk to me. It’s okay. I can help you.”

“I can’t TAKE IT!” Laura yelled, jogging out into the aisle. “HELP ME, PLEASE! Pleeeeeaaaaase! SOMEBODY!”

The short, stocky lead hijacker appeared by the rail as Laura dropped, wailing, to her knees.

“We can’t have her bugging out like this,” he called to Little John across the chapel. “Take care of her.”

The extra-large hijacker stepped over and lifted Laura up from the marble floor by her lapels.

“Ma’am? You’ll have to get back in your seat,” he said.

“PLEASE HELP ME!” she yelled after a loud, rattling sob. “You can help me, can’t you, please? I can’t breathe. My chest. I need air. So hot in here. I need to go to a hospital.”

“To Bellevue maybe,” the big hijacker said with a chuckle. “Ma’am, you’re hysterical. The only way I know how to deal with hysterical people is to slap them. You don’t want to get slapped, do you?”

The hijacker grabbed the middle-aged woman by her wrist when she tried to bolt past him. He turned her bony arm around behind her, then took her by the back of her haute couture top and led her out beyond the rail.

“If that’s the way you want to play it,” Little John said, shaking his head.

Next to an enormous statue of Jesus in Mary’s lap, he opened up a confessional door. He pushed the now screaming Laura Winston inside. When she tried to rush out, he put a combat boot to her chest, sent her flying, and slammed the door shut.

“Jeez,” Little John said, shaking his head at the other hostages. “Some people, huh?”