Suicide Squeeze

Dear Miss Monroe,

My name is Teddy Folger, and I am your biggest fan. Ha. I have to laugh because I just bet every letter you get starts out with some guy saying he’s your biggest fan. Well, for me it happens to be true. I don’t know if you remember me, but I met you when I was six years old while you were doing The Seven Year Itch. My dad took me to see Joe DiMaggio and you were there too and you signed my DiMaggio card. I will never forget that day. I have seen every one of your pictures ten times. I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. I don’t mean that in a dirty way or like a come-on. You probably get lots of fellows writing you with some kind of pitch. I’m not like that. I’m just a fan who thinks you’re about the greatest movie star that ever lived.

Three days ago I went to my dad’s funeral. He was hit by a cab. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I think my dad wanted me to be different than I am. He never said anything. He never got mad at me, but I could tell he wanted me to be different. He always took me to your movies. Usually a matinee. I just wanted you to know that my dad was the greatest. He wanted me to be happy, so he took me to every one of your movies even though I don’t think he really cared about movies too much. I hope you have a new movie coming out soon.

Your biggest fan,

Teddy Folger