Super Sales on Super Heroes: Book 2

Chapter 9 - Buying Pork -

Nicholas stared at Felix, much as a fish would when it’s been landed.

Felix waited quietly. Silence was always one of his best used tools. People couldn’t deal with being stared at silently very well.

Most would immediately babble or start to lose their cool.

Nicholas shifted his entire body around in his chair, first leaning forward, then backward.

Uncomfortable much?

And… is this worth all the trouble? What if I ran for governor myself. It isn’t a terrible idea and I could probably make a decent run of it.

What would it take?

“I… see. Ok. Yes. Ok,” Nicholas said.

Felix smiled, interrupting his own train of thought, and waited some more. He wasn’t about to offer anything up until the fat man croaked for it.

“That is, I mean, I understand your position. I can certainly promise you—”

“He’s lying,” said the Fixer. He watched the governor unblinkingly.

“Oh, did I mention, lying won’t work or save you? I brought with me one of my Fixers,” Felix said with a grin.

Nicholas stared at him. He looked a bit like a frog right now.

“He’s been under orders from the national government to stonewall you,” the Fixer said. “Some pressure from the Heroes Guild, but not that much.”

“Oh? That’s a little unexpected. I thought it would be the other way around,” Felix said.

“No. It’s mostly from the national government. I get the impression they want you to go to them, and then they try to turn you into an informant. His memories are a little jumbled but not bad. I think they’ve had similar people such as myself work on him. It’s a rare powerset, sure, but it’s not as if there aren’t millions of people to sort through. Just not as good as what your training puts out,” said the Fixer.

“Happy to know we’re the best in the business,” Felix said. “Any chance of him agreeing, or should we just wipe him now?”

“Hey, I’m right here! Don’t talk over me,” Nicholas said hotly.

“Maybe. He’s getting some flack from his voters for employment rate. That and the relocation is starting to go up for the area. People are leaving for education elsewhere. He was at first delighted when we started to move in and make our plans. He only got hesitant afterward when he found out who we were,” said the Fixer.

“Ah. Alright. Nicholas. What will it take to get you on board? A specific number of jobs created? Taking on more students? We’re fully accredited. What will it take for you to get off my ass?” Felix asked.

“Twenty minutes,” one of the Andreas said aloud.

“And the clock is ticking,” Felix said, acknowledging Andrea’s statement.

“I… wait. You’re… bribing me?” Nicholas said.

“Are you listening at all? Catch up already. I’m telling you that you need to get on board or I’m going to have you killed. What will it take for you to agree to the deal?” Felix said, his patience long since gone.

Nicholas spluttered at that, his face going from red to pale, and then red again.

Holy crap. I hate dealing with people. Elected officials should require an IQ test. Or maybe a comprehension test?

The Fixer audibly sighed and shook his head.

“I’m not sure he’s worth it. He still thinks this is all some political ploy. Maybe we should consider his replacement?” said the Fixer.

Felix groaned and closed his eyes.

He really just wanted to go home, slam several types of headache medication, and pass out.

Wait, no. Can’t do that either. Lily stole my calendar for the evening.

“Fine. Whatever. Wipe his memory. We’ll need to set up an appointment with his replacement,” Felix said.

Lauren cleared her throat and gave him a lopsided smile.

“Lily already arranged one for you. It’s right after this. She wasn’t sure if Nicholas here would be cooperative,” she said.

“Great, let’s clean this up then and get moving. Maybe he or she can see us early,” Felix said, standing up. “Uh. Just dump his memories all the way up to this point. We’ll go with the ‘hey are you alright, you don’t look good’ thing.”

Everyone stood up, including Nicholas.

“Now wait! I can make this work. We caaaaoouuuuuu…” He moaned, slumping into his chair.

“Damn, I can’t seem to get my control as good as Kit’s,” said the Fixer. “We’re good to go.”

Nicholas lifted his head up and looked at them, his eyes glazed. “I don’t feel good.”

“You don’t look so good, either,” Felix said. “We can continue our conversation later if you like. We were talking about supporting you in the upcoming election.”

“We were?” Nicholas asked. “Oh. Yes… that’d be… good.”

“Andrea, can one of you go get his assistant? I don’t want to leave him here like this.”

“Nn!” came an Andrea’s response.

The door opened and closed quickly. Only to open again and a middle-aged woman rushed up to the governor’s side.

“What happened?” she asked, looking around the room.

“We’re not sure. We were talking about supporting him in his upcoming election, and what he needed from us as a company. He said he felt weak, was dizzy, and then this,” Felix said. “We’ll get out of your way so he can recover.”

Without another word, or giving her the chance to stop them, Felix and crew exited the office.

“God, I hope this goes easier,” Felix grumbled. “I’m over today. Over everything. I hate being on top sometimes.”

“You weren’t on top last night, I was,” Andrea said happily from his side.

Felix adjusted his blazer, shifting it to one side, and then the other. He was dressed well, but not overly so. Andrea and Kit had made sure to help him pick out the right clothes.

“You’d think we could get this to fit right with how many people we have on staff,” he muttered.

“It isn’t a problem of staff, it’s that you’re putting on muscle, and losing weight,” Kit said from behind. “Besides, Lily doesn’t care. Now, is there anything else I need to know? Or is what’s in the report everything. You have a tendency to leave things out I’d rather know.”

“Uhm, nope? Besides, a Fixer was there. Go through his thoughts, or better yet, mine. Here, and while you’re in there, make this headache go away,” Felix said in annoyance.

He mentally flipped the switch on her being able to read his mind and went over to his desk.

“I… oh… ok. Yes. Ok,” Kit said, as if speaking to his memories.

“Uh huh, so while you’re talking to yourself, about that headache? Anything you can do?” Felix asked. Opening a desk drawer, he pulled out a bottle and popped open the top. Pulling out two of the pills he swallowed them dry. “Blegh. Remind me to bring a water cooler in here or something.”

“Huh? Oh, sure. You know… you often start thinking about your inner circle when your mind wanders. You called them shower thoughts, but I begin to think that’s all that’s on your mind,” Kit said.

“You know what? One of these days, I’m going to hit you with a fantasy as dirty as I can make it. Just to watch you swim through it. Alright? Cause right now, I’m at about a thirteen on the one to fuck you in the eye-socket scale of in pain,” Felix said, leaning forward over his desk. “So if you want to get right down into it, I’ll be happy to drown you in a sea of damned seme—”

As bad as the headache was, it was the sudden relief that took his breath away.

“Better?” Kit asked, coming up beside him.

“Yeah… yeah, it is,” Felix said, closing his eyes and hanging his head. “Sorry, I felt like there was a piston pounding at the back of my skull.”

“You definitely were having some tension problems in your neck and base of your skull. I’ve been going through that library you put together. Read about it in your thoughts,” Kit said happily.

“Un?” he mumbled.

“I took one of the medical books for things relating to the head and brain. Helpful, yes?” she asked, a hand pressed to the middle of his back.

“Yeah. Helpful. Very helpful. Super helpful. You need a bonus,” Felix said, simply enjoying the lack of the headache.

“I’d like you to make some more books like the one I took. I need one for everyone on my staff,” Kit said, her hand patting his back.

“Sure thing. Whatever you want,” Felix said, nodding.

“Good. Now, you have a nice date with Lily, and please turn off the mind reading. I’d really rather not hear your thoughts later tonight. I also have a report I need to put together for you. I know those questions are burning holes in your head, but it’s all rather silly. It’s embarrassing, really,” Kit said.

Should have let her into my head earlier. Ever since she got free rein in there she’s about as passive as could be.

Popping the ability into an off-state, Felix stood up.

“You’re right, gotta get going. I’ll see you later,” Felix said. Waving at her he stepped around his desk and left his office quickly.

Lily caught him right on the other side. She was in a knee length grey dress with a black jacket that ended at her elbows, and a white blouse underneath.

“There you are. I see Kit’s turned you loose. I also approve of her choice,” said Lily as she walked up to him.

“You would. You enjoy seeing me being uncomfortable. Maybe not in pain, but uncomfortable,” Felix said, trying not to let his eyes make the elevator trip down and back up.

Which he imagined he failed at since her smile spread.

“I’m no mind reader, but I take it you approve?” Lily asked, glancing down at herself.

Felix wrinkled his nose but didn’t rise to the bait.

“So, where are we off to then. You’ve kept me in the dark long enough,” Felix said.

“Ah, ah, not spoiling it quite yet. But we’ll get there. First we need to take a trip back into your office. Kit should be ready by now,” Lily said, making a shooing gesture with her hands.

Now without the miserable headache that had been plaguing him all day, his patience for her nature was at an all-time high.

“Alright, sure,” Felix said, turning around.

Only to have two hands press into his back. “Faster already.”

“Har har, maybe I should drag my feet and see if you can push me?” Felix said, moving a bit quicker despite his words.

Opening the door to his office after having only left for a minute, he was surprised to find an active and open portal in the middle of it.

“Ah, fantastic. Thanks, Kit. I owe you one,” Lily said from behind Felix.

“I take it we’re going through then?” Felix asked, walking up to it and peering through.

“As soon as I finish our disguises, yes.”

“Disguises? The heck do we need disguises for?” Felix asked, leaning in through the portal.

“Get out of there, silly. You’ll ruin it,” Lily said.

Sighing dramatically, Felix leaned back and gave Lily a bright smile.

“Only cause you do look good. Otherwise I’d be half tempted to walk through just to see if I could incur the wrath of Mab. You haven’t gone all high-and-mighty on me in a while,” Felix said, looking to Lily and Kit.

“Sorry. He’s being insufferable and it’s partially my fault,” Kit said.

“No, he’s always insufferable. Alright, make sure I do this right? I can’t see it since I’m on the other side,” Lily said to Kit.

“Of course. Go ahead and put them on.”

Missing something here. Put on what?

Lily turned and stared him down. Hard.

Like he was a bug, kind of stare.

And as quickly as she did, she looked to Kit and held up a hand.

“So?” she asked with a touch of hesitation in her voice.

“They look good. Pretty much right in the middle of average. Good show,” Kit said with a smile for her.

“Grand. Open it up tomorrow morning? I’m sure we’ll be ready by about eight or so,” Lily said. Turning, she grabbed Felix by the elbow and led him through the portal.

“Have a good time!” Kit called behind them, and then closed the portal shut.

Lily looked around as soon as they stepped out of the portal and smiled to herself.

“Perfect. This is literally right outside,” she said as if to herself.

“Uh, where are we exactly? I’m guessing it’s further away then an hour long car ride?” Felix asked.

It looked familiar to him, but he had no memory of the place.

“You really haven’t explored your own kingdom, have you,” Lily said dejectedly.

“Ok, by that comment I can assume we’re back in Skippercity then?”

“Yes. And in the lower habitation levels. The ones shielded by about ten feet of reinforced concrete with steel plates. You paid a lot for them? You don’t remember?”

“I sign many things. I think I want to buy a stamp with my signature on it. It could just sit on my desk. ‘Oh, sign this’, stamp,” Felix said, feeling playful. For the first time in a long while, he wasn’t being drowned in paperwork, working a headache out, or dealing with something.

“You do realize how quickly that’d end up in Andie’s hands, yes? Then everything would have your signature on it. Including her, I imagine,” Lily said, pulling him along through an archway.

“Ah… yeah. That’s… yeah. Good point. Ix-nay on the stamp,” Felix said.

As they passed the arch and got deeper into the room, Felix realized they were surrounded. It started with a few people, and almost immediately climbed into a throng of men, women, and children running about on whatever chores they were doing.

“These are…” Felix started, watching as people streamed in and out of what looked to be stores.

Grocery stores, knick knack shops, even an electronics boutique.

“These are your people, living in their underground world that you carved out. You subsidize almost all of their costs, so the fact that almost everyone’s salary is the same, doesn’t matter at all. And since you actually pay them their full salary now, that goes pretty far with the subsidizing. Shame about that loophole. I really thought that would last a while. Or at least, longer than it did. It got wiped out pretty quick in the grand scheme of things. Skipper realized how much they were missing out on in taxes,” Lily said.

“Yeah. Skipper is definitely paying attention. I imagine that probably shored up some gaps in the budget for Skippercity, too.”

Lily only nodded her head and led him along as they walked down the street. There were no cars or bikes, just pedestrians.

Everyone moved about as if they were simply out and about. Enjoying an evening after work in a shopping district.

There were even dark gray security guards on patrol making their rounds.

It was obvious they were treated vastly different by the crowd in comparison to how most people acted with the police.

The security patrol smiled and nodded to friends and acquaintances as if they were still at the office. Quite a few stopped and chatted with others.

“It’s a little strange,” Felix said softly, watching.

“I suppose it is. At first. Mostly everything turned out this way, because it’s us against them. Legion versus everyone else. Sense of a shared purpose. And with everyone getting the same treatment, even down to the same living spaces dependent on family size, there’s little room for envy,” Lily said.

Felix nodded his head at that, not responding.

He hadn’t meant to do it, but it was a very normal tactic in business.

And warfare.

Or taking over countries.

“Don’t feel bad about it. If you are, that is. They have purpose, drive, and unity. In fact, part of where we’re going tonight is to show you that,” Lily said, giving him a clue finally.

“Ok. Also… and this is starting to make me a touch crazy, since it doesn’t seem like anyone has noticed, do they not see us?” Felix asked.

“Oh they see us, but they don’t see us. We look like normal employees. Not Felix and Lily. I doubt we’d get a true experience of your city within a city otherwise,” Lily admitted.

“That—ah. That’s why you wanted Kit to take a look at you. I mean that—”

“PANCAKE!” shouted a crowd of people off to one side.

Felix blinked and stared in that direction.

“Let’s… not go over that way,” Lily said.

“No, we’re going over that way. I want to know,” Felix said, moving off towards the sound.

Felix managed to get up to the crowd before he was practically knocked flat with another shout.

“Holy crap,” he said, lifting up a free hand to rub at his ears.

“They tend to get loud. Especially when there’s a crowd,” Lily said. “I’ll be over here by the fountain.”

Looking over at her, he found she was smiling in a bemused fashion, indicating the statuary nearby.

“I’ll be right back then. I’m very curious. Can’t help it,” Felix said.

Forcing his way up to the front, Felix found himself face to face with an eerily accurate yet clearly mechanical Andrea.

From the hairstyle, down to the eyes, and even the smile, it was Andrea.

Just not Andrea.

The machine held up a plate to him that had a pancake on it.

The machine had just pulled it out of some type of oven that was behind her to one side.

“Want a pancake?” it asked in Andrea’s voice, moving the plate closer to him.

“Uh… sure,” Felix said, taking the plate.

“Pancake!” yelled the Andrea, holding her arms above her head.

“PANCAKE!” came the reverberating shout from the crowd.

Felix winced and ducked his way back through the mob of people.

As he went he finally realized that this wasn’t the same crowd, but was a constantly filtering group of people. Coming and going all at the same time.

He found Lily exactly where she said she’d be. Sitting down next to her with a pancake on a plate, he felt a touch strange.

“That was… different,” he said neutrally.

“Oh yes. Remember when you said you wanted a machine that could turn out pancakes that increased power? Like the Power Sausage? That’d be that,” Lily said, indicating the pancake. “Besides, it’s hard not to like Andie. She’s practically the mascot of Legion. Everyone knows her and loves her. Most remember your first speech and her stealing the show.”

“Err. Is it made out of people?” Felix asked, changing the topic. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.

He’d never been that keen on the Power Sausage. Even though he’d made that promise to actually eat them, he’d never been able to

“No. Thankfully not. Though I do hear that the security team seems to prize the Sausage when it’s made. A ‘successful encounter’ is how they describe it when it’s available. Hand that off to someone, you’ll spoil our dinner. We should be off anyways,” Lily said.

She got up and set off at a leisurely pace, clearly knowing where she was going.

Felix stood up and made eye contact with a teenager and held out the pancake to him.

“Hey, eat this,” Felix said with a grin. Handing off the plate to the kid, he jogged a few steps to catch up with Lily.

The kid mechanically picked up the pancake and began eating it, the order of the CEO of Legion being something no one could resist.