Supreme Courtship

CHAPTER 16

Dexter was pleased by the turnout of reporters for his farewell press conference. Buddy had wanted him to hold it outdoors, on the West Front of the Capitol Building, where incoming U.S. presidents were now inaugurated. Dexter briefly mulled the notion before (wisely) vetoing it. He’d have his moment on the West Front someday. For now, the Strom Thurmond Memorial Room would do nicely enough. His press secretary made sure that the podium was within camera range of the bust of JFK, to remind the viewers subliminally of another New England senator who had gone on to bigger things.

“This is a bittersweet day for me,” Dexter began, casting his eyes downward while biting his lower lip, a gesture he had learned from a master politician. He gave Terry-“my life’s partner,” as he put it-a brave glance. Camera shutters clicked away like demonic crickets. Dexter’s face was momentarily bathed in so much flashlight that he feared he might never see again. Terry did her best to look wistful while inwardly doing cartwheels and jetés of unbridled joy. We’re in the mo-ney, we’re in the mo-ney! Dexter gave his life’s partner a little nod of encouragement as if to say, I know it’s hard, honey, but together, we’ll get through this. Terry looked back at him as if to say, Yes, dear, it is hard. It’s all I can do to keep from shouting “Free at last, free at last! Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!” Terry tried not to think of the bigger house. Of the beach house. Of a house in the south of France. Of not having to spend another day on K Street wheedling railroad subsidies out of her husband’s colleagues.

She stirred from the delicious reverie and crashed back into reality and the sound of her husband’s voice. What was he talking about now? She heard the phrase “decades of public service.” Oh, no. God, no. Please, someone-interrupt him with a question or we’ll all be here until the polar ice caps melt.

“When I first arrived in Washington twenty-three years ago,” he was saying, “this was a very different place from the one it is now…”

Unlike, say, any other place on the planet? Jesus, Dex. Please. Someone-for the love of God-ask a question…

“But whatever Washington has become, I feel-at least, I’d like to be able to feel-that I’ve made some small difference. Some contribution. I believe it was Christopher Wren, the architect of St. Paul ’s Cathedral over there in London…”

“Over there in London ”? Put a sock in it, Dex.

“… whose epitaph reads…”

No, no. Do not compare yourself to the architect of St. Paul ’s Cathedral…

“ ‘If it’s monuments you want, just look around.’ Well,” Dexter continued with transparently insincere self-deprecation, “I certainly don’t merit a marble bust. But I am darn proud to leave behind some solid pieces of legislation. In particular-”

“Senator-?”

Oh, thank you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart…

Dexter, halted in mid-self-adulation, said with a trace of irritation, “Yes, Judy?”

“What about these reports that you wanted to stay on in the Senate while doing the TV show?”

Fucking Clem.

“Oh… no. No, no. No. I mean, there were-we had-there was… there may have been some very theoretical… discussion. But no. Well, there were those who wanted me to stay on, but-”

“Such as who?”

Dexter laughed. “Well, now, we don’t need to get into all that. Myself, I never thought that was realistic. Being in the Senate is a full-time job. A more than full-time job. Just ask my life’s partner, here. Aack.”

Terry stalwartly grinned. You’re such a dick, Dexter.

“And it’s a full-time honor, let me add. So I… That never really made much sense as an option. Yes, Candy?”

“Is it true you’re getting fifty thousand dollars per episode?”

Fucking Buddy.

“Well now-aack-I don’t-there’s no point in… Someone else is handling all that. But I can tell you this much-on an hourly basis, it pays a little better than the Senate. But let me talk for just a moment here about some of the things I’m proudest of having accomplished during my years in the-”

Someone-please-ask him another question.

“Is it true Ramona Alvilar has been cast to play the First Lady?”

“My understanding,” Dexter said, “is that those negotiations are ongoing. You’d have to ask Buddy Bixby. Of course, from my perspective, it would be wonderful if she were to be my wife.” Dexter stopped and looked over at Terry. “I think I just said the wrong thing.”

Laughter. Terry smiled. “Yes, honey. You did.” You ass.

More laughter.

“But if I might get back to some of the judiciary reform initiatives that I’m proudest of… let me point to the Uniform Appellate Modification Act of-”

“Senator, this presidential one-term limit amendment that just cleared the House and looks to be approved overwhelmingly by the Senate.”

“What about it?”

“How do you feel about it?”

That cocksucker Vanderdamp deserves everything he gets.

“Well, I guess it’s no secret that President Vanderdamp and I have had our differences. Is it fair to punish future presidents because of one disastrous… Well,” Dexter grinned, “I didn’t come here today to criticize the President. I’ll let the historians do that.”

“Will you be voting in favor of the amendment?”

“It has some merit to it, I believe. On the other hand, who knows, I might find myself in a position one day where I’d like to be able to have a second term. Aack.”

Terry looked stricken.

“Are you saying that you plan to run for president again?”

“I…” Dexter looked over at Terry, whose eyes had gone cold as liquid nitrogen. “The only presidency I’m interested in at the moment is Mitchell Lovestorm’s.”

“Who came up with that name, anyway?”

“The name?” Dexter said. “Well… the writers. That’s what they… but it suits me. Yes. It conveys a lot about this President. He’s a strong man, a passionate man, with…”

Terry wondered, He’s already talking about himself in the third person.

“… a man who’s been through the fire, but who has heart. Yes. Lovestorm. A perfect Lovestorm. Ha-ha. Like that movie…”

Dexter looked over at his life’s partner, who was sending him a message that decoded: Wrap it up right now or I will Super-Glue your lips shut tonight while you sleep.

“Thanks for coming,” Dexter said, giving his audience a valedictory salute. “Thank you. This has been a tremendous experience. I like to think that I’m not really leaving you. Just moving to another channel. Don’t forget to tune in Monday nights.”