“So I went to Davis and I told him that I’d be looking at the intake process. Then while he was all smug and happy and ‘see, I told you’ about that, I brought up how he’d gone to Andrew behind my back.”
Having dinner with Myra and Riley later that week, Shelby dipped her chopsticks and picked up some chicken lo mein. Kiara was at home with Adam. Worry still gnawed inside Shelby about that.
“How did that go over?” Riley asked.
“It was okay. I asked him what his intention was by doing that. And he was all apologetic and just said he wasn’t trying to get me in trouble, yadda yadda. So I told him that if he has questions or concerns about the project, he should come to me, and I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate someone going to his boss without telling him, and he agreed.”
“What about the other guy? Bram?”
“He was even more apologetic. He seemed really shocked that I was even bringing it up and he stuttered and stammered all over the place.”
“Some organizations just have that kind of culture,” Riley said, poking her kung pao chicken. “They might be surprised at someone who confronts them head on.”
“I wasn’t confronting him, exactly,” Shelby said. She picked up her wine and took a sip. “I was being assertive.”
“Yeah. That’s good. Good for you, Shelby. You’re really toughening up.”
Shelby pursed her lips. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.”
“You know it is! You always say you want to be tougher.”
Shelby nodded. It was true. Her dislike of conflict had too often gotten her into trouble, in her personal life and her professional life. “I was pretty tough,” she said with a small smile and a toss of her head.
“But you did it without pissing them off,” Riley added. “That takes skill. That is good conflict resolution.”
Shelby blinked at Riley. “I guess I’m learning,” she replied slowly.
“So enough about work crap,” Myra said. “Tell us more about Jake.”
Shelby laughed. She was surprised they hadn’t brought this up earlier. “It’s really nothing,” she said. “Neither of us is into relationships and I kind of need someone to keep Andrew at a distance and he’s willing to help out.”
Myra and Riley exchanged glances. “Really?”
“Plus the sex is hot,” she added with another grin.
“Okay. So you’re telling us this is just about sex.”
“Pretty much.”
“Uh, Shelby.” Riley leaned forward. “I hate to remind you of this, but…”
“I know, I know.” Shelby waved a hand, though a small knot had formed in her stomach. “It’s okay, don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.”
Once again her friends divided a look between them. Shelby’s smile faded. What were they thinking? That she was going to do something stupid like fall in love with yet another guy who they thought was going to take what he could get and then break her heart? The knot in her stomach started to hurt.
“Really, guys,” she said. “It’s just a fun thing and it serves a purpose. And Jake’s a good guy.”
“Well, that’s good then,” Riley said. But she wasn’t smiling and Shelby knew Riley was concerned.
She firmed her lips and tipped her head to one side. “Seriously, Riley.”
But Riley just shook her head. “I know you better than that, Shel.”
“I know myself better now too,” Shelby said. “I’m busy rebuilding my career right now. I know in the past I may have gotten involved with guys I shouldn’t have, but this isn’t like that. This is helping me keep my job.”
Riley nodded, her eyes still shadowed with doubt.
Shelby sighed. “Are you trying to talk me out of doing this?”
One corner of Riley’s mouth kicked up. “I don’t know, hon. I’m glad you and Jake are having fun together, but I’m worried about you.”
Shelby sat back in her chair, her insides twisted into knots. “You don’t need to worry about me. I know what I’m doing. This time I’m not being used. I’m using him.” She smiled brightly at her friends. “Right?” Actually, that sounded really crappy, too. She didn’t like the idea of using someone. Oh hell. Was this a big mistake?
“If you say so.” Myra grinned. “I’m assuming he has a big cock?”
Shelby choked on her mouthful of wine, almost spewing it over her food. She grabbed for her napkin and raised it to her mouth, looking reproachfully at Myra through watery eyes. “Myra!” Trust Myra to break through the building tension.
“Yes or no?” Myra’s eyes twinkled.
Shelby shook her head, lowered her eyes and smiled. “Yes.”
“I knew it!”
“You just never mind about his cock,” Shelby said, lowering her voice and leaning across the table. “It’s mine.”
“Oh honey, I know.”
Shelby shook her head, her cheeks scorching. “And I’m not going into details about the sex, so you can just forget about that.”
“Damn.”
“I talked to Kiara,” Shelby said, changing the subject. She poked at her food, her smile disappearing. “Adam’s not doing so well.”
“Oh hell.” They all went quiet.
Shelby’s throat constricted. “They didn’t want him to go home but he insisted. It might be any time now.”
“Fuck.”
“It’s so not fair.”
“I know.” Shelby sighed. “We’ll be there for her. Whatever she needs.”
“Of course.”
“That won’t make a damn bit of difference,” Riley said with a touch of bitterness. “Her life is still going to be devastated.”
“D’you think any of us will ever experience a love like that? Like Kiara and Adam?” Myra asked.
Shelby looked at Myra with surprise, Myra the tough, cynical one of the bunch, who at that moment looked wistful and sad. Shelby’s throat ached and she looked down at her plate. “I don’t know. I guess we can only hope.”
Every time she talked to Jake that week, Shelby wondered if she should be putting an end to whatever it was they were doing together. Friday when he invited her out for lunch, she almost said no—until Andrew walked past her cubicle, effectively reminding her of why they were doing it. So she agreed to meet Jake at a nearby restaurant.
She ordered a spinach salad and smiled when he ordered a triple-decker clubhouse sandwich with fries. “You eat a lot,” she said.
“I work out a lot.” He smiled at her as he handed the server the menu.
“I know.” His training schedule was crazy.
“I have to work hard if I want to do the Iron Man later this year. It’s been my goal for a long time.”
“It’s a lot of work.”
“Yeah. But I like it.” On Mondays he worked out with weights at the gym and every other day of the week except Thursdays he biked, ran or swam, some days both, some days at six in the morning. She’d teased him about what seemed borderline obsessive-compulsive and he’d all but admitted that yeah, maybe he was a little obsessed.
“How can anyone swim for an hour?” she asked, sitting back as the waitress set a cup of coffee in front of her. “That just amazes me. I can barely dog paddle for five minutes.”
He grinned at her. “I’ll teach you to swim.”
“Not necessary. I’m happy dog-paddling around the pool.”
“It could be fun.” His grin went wicked.
“Mmm. You could be right.” Being nearly naked in a pool with Jake could definitely be fun. She smiled and leaned a little closer, their gazes connected in a heated eye-lock.
“Shelby?”
Still smiling and warm, she looked up at the person who’d stopped beside their table.
Mark. Her former boss. And lover. The asshat.
Her body went instantly cold. Then hot. She blinked up at Mark. “Mark. Hi.”
He gave her a cautious smile. “How are you, Shelby?”
Her heart picked up a little speed. “I’m fine, thanks,” she said coolly. “And you?”
“Great, thanks.” His eyes shifted to Jake and then back to her.
Well, shit. “Mark, this is Jake Magill. Jake, Mark Temple. Mark and I used to work together at RBM.”
Jake’s eyes flickered and she knew he’d picked up on the tension and the significance of that. He rose from his chair and extended a hand. She watched them shake hands, taking in Mark’s faint wince at the pressure of Jake’s grip.
“Good to meet you,” Jake said with a near snarl that belied the polite words.
Mark’s gaze turned back to Shelby.
She relaxed a little in her chair, a smile pulling at her lips. “Jake’s a Senior Business Analyst at Coast Power,” she said, watching Jake fold his big body back into his chair.
Mark nodded. “Is that where you’re working now?” he asked her.
She shook her head. “Oh no. I’m at Gold Shield Insurance. Senior project manager.” She lifted her chin and met his eyes. Scumbag.
He nodded again. “Oh, that’s great! Glad to hear it. I thought I’d heard…” He glanced at Jake again.
“Heard what?” Shelby smiled and tipped her head to one side.
“I heard it took a while for you to find another job.”
She resisted the urge to narrow her eyes at him and scowl, keeping her smile firmly in place. “I took my time,” she agreed. “I wanted to find a good fit. This time.”
He blinked. “Uh. Good. That’s good. Well, I’m glad to know you’re doing so well. You look really…happy.”
She couldn’t help it. She looked at Jake. He turned his gaze from Mark toward her and met her eyes and the cool hostility immediately shifted into a warm smile. Her smile deepened. Thank god Jake was there, this first time she’d run into Mark after what had happened. Gratitude poured through her and she held his gaze as she said, “Yes. I am. Very happy.” She glanced at Mark. “Nice to see you again.”
He got the dismissal and with a short nod turned to leave.
Jake reached across the table and covered one of her hands. “That’s the asshole boss who used you and hung you out to dry?” he asked quietly.
“Yes.” Her smile went crooked. His hand felt so nice on hers, strong and warm. “That’s the asshole. Thanks.”
“Thanks for what?”
She sighed. “Just for being here, I guess. That’s the first time I’ve seen him and I was kind of…nervous, I guess.”
Jake’s eyelashes swept down as he lowered his gaze to the table. “Do you still care about him, Shelby?”
She looked across the restaurant where Mark had taken his seat at a table with three other men. “No,” she said slowly. “I don’t. It was fine. I was just…I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me.”
He sat back in his chair, a strange expression on his face. “Yeah.” He paused, then shook his head. “He has no fucking reason to feel sorry for you. You’ve got a great new job and you’re moving on.”
Sort of. She smiled at Jake. Yeah, she had a great new job, with just the tiny little problem of her new boss seeming to be going down the same damn path as Mark had. No, not fair. She had no idea if Andrew could be as nasty and selfish as Mark had been. But as for moving on…she wanted Mark to think so, but the truth was, she and Jake weren’t really in a relationship.
Whatever. It couldn’t have worked out better that Mark saw her with Jake, all tall, dark, well-groomed and gorgeous, and she’d loved how he’d reacted to Mark, how Jake had nearly broken Mark’s hand when he shook it. So what if it was pretend? It felt good. Damn good.
And so what if her friends were worried about her getting involved with Jake? This was working out fine.
“Why are you so determined to do this Iron Man thing?” she demanded breathlessly as they cycled together along the beach path Sunday afternoon, Jake on his expensive racing bike, her on her rented bicycle from the little shop on the beach.
“I don’t know. It’s just a goal. Something to work toward.” He grinned beneath the helmet and sunglasses that made him look sexy and athletic, whereas she knew hers just made her look dorky.
“Goals are good.” She’d seen how much pain he was in one day after a long ride on his bike, though, and didn’t quite understand the motivation. She supposed she should just enjoy the results of him punishing his body like that, with his lean hard muscles, bulging biceps and ripped abs. His body was amazing. And she loved how his strength gave him the ability to take charge in bed, lift her up, turn her around, even do her standing up, which had been an incredible experience. Heat slid through her at the memory of that.
“Can we stop for a rest?” she asked.
He laughed. “Sure. Let’s go a little further. There’s a café we can stop at for a cold drink.”
This wasn’t even a workout for him, this was a leisurely little ride on top of his usual workout, whereas she was sweating and panting.
Maybe she needed to work out a little more. She did run, but only a few miles, and if she squeezed it in two or three times a week, she was doing well. As they sat in the sun drinking bottles of water, she flexed one bare arm to view her biceps. Then she looked up and caught Jake’s amused eyes on her.
“I should lift some weights,” she said.
He leaned over and kissed her mouth. “You look perfect the way you are, little girl.”
“It’s not about looks,” she objected. “It’s about being strong. And healthy. Right?”
“True.” He touched his finger to the tip of her nose. “Come to the gym with me, then. I’ll get you started.”
“Well. Maybe some time.” It might be better to start off somewhere else, in a gym full of strangers.
They returned her bike to the rental kiosk a while later, locked Jake’s up on the rack attached to his SUV and went back to his place where he’d promised to cook her dinner.
“I like to cook,” he told her.
Another surprise.
“I kind of had to learn when I was a kid. My dad was pretty useless in the kitchen, so after my mom left, I had to figure things out or we would’ve starved.”
Her heart tightened at being reminded of his mother’s abandonment. How could she have done that to him? She knew his mom was dead, but even so, a spear of dislike shafted through her at someone who would do something like that to fourteen-year-old Jake.
Her first visit to his home stopped her in her tracks. She walked into the modern new building, expecting something sleek and masculine, and indeed, his place was masculine and she supposed sleek might be one word. Chaotic might be another.
He kept his bike in his condo, leaning against a wall, along with a whole lot of other sports and exercise equipment including a weight machine. “For the days I can’t get to the gym,” he explained.
A huge dog came running at them, and she all but leaped into Jake’s arms. “Down, Wayne,” Jake ordered the giant beast. The dog sat, mouth open to reveal large teeth and a huge tongue.
Shelby watched him warily, clutching Jake. “Does he bite?”
Jake laughed. “No. Of course not.” He extricated himself from Shelby’s grip and rubbed the dog’s head. “This is Wayne.”
“Wayne?”
“I named him after the greatest hockey player of all time. Wayne Gretzky.”
Shelby bit her lip on a smile. “I see.”
“Gimme five.” Jake extended a hand and the dog laid a big paw on his palm. “Good boy.” He looked at her, still nearly hiding behind him. “Are you afraid of dogs?”
“Um…no. Well, maybe a little. I like small dogs.” She eyed Wayne. “He’s pretty big.”
“But he’s very gentle. C’mere and meet him.” He pulled Shelby forward and he lifted her hand and brought it close to Wayne’s face, palm up, for him to sniff. The dog carefully sniffed, gave her hand a small lick, and looked up at her, head tilted to one side.
“Hi, Wayne,” she said tentatively. She looked at Jake. “Can I pat him?”
“Sure.”
She gave the dog’s head a rub, surprised by the silky softness of his fur. He was kind of cute. She straightened and looked around.
Surveying his living room, she managed to locate a black leather couch amid sports equipment, computer equipment, DVDs, CDs, books and magazines on an impressive variety of topics—running, cycling, men’s health, business and news—scattered everywhere. That she expected. And the big screen television. She held her bottom lip between her teeth as she walked around and took it all in. She picked up a running magazine and noted the date—a year old!
Jake stood there also surveying his place. “It’s kind of messy, isn’t it?”
“Um…” Her smile broke free. “Kind of? It’s a freaking disaster!”
“It’s not that bad.”
Well, it was reasonably clean. The kitchen was clean anyway, counters spotless, stainless steel appliances gleaming. There were no dust bunnies lurking in corners that she could see.
“I have a cleaning lady,” he said. “So it can’t be that bad.”
She pressed her lips together to again stop from laughing, and nodded. The urge to organize, tidy and throw away a ton of junk made her itch and twitch.
“And I don’t like things too neat,” he added. “It stifles creativity.”
Now she did laugh out loud, but he grinned too. The state of his condo took her by surprise—he was always perfectly groomed and dressed impeccably, and somehow she’d expected where he lived to be the same.
“Have a seat,” he said, nodding to stools at the granite counter. “We can have a glass of wine while I cook.”
“I can help.” As long as it was simple. Cooking wasn’t her thing, unless it was cookies.
“We’ll see.” And he started pulling food out of the refrigerator, pulling pans down from the rack above the counter, expensive-looking gourmet cookware. Wow.
He was a multi-faceted guy, that’s for sure, and as she watched him, her heart tilted dangerously.
As he cooked and then as they ate, they talked more about his Iron Man goal.
“When did you decide to do this?” Shelby asked, spearing a pillowy ravioli coated in tomato sauce. “Or have you always wanted to?”
Jake’s face tightened a little and he looked down at his own plate. “I got the idea about a year ago,” he said. “I needed something to fill my time beside work. I wasn’t feeling all that satisfied with my job, and I wasn’t going to be starting my own business. I actually started going out a lot—hanging out in bars, partying all night. That didn’t seem very healthy, so I decided to take up something that would be good for me. I’ve always liked swimming—I was on the swim team in high school and college. But the triathlon appealed to me because it was a challenge.”
She nodded. “Do you want to win?”
He laughed. “No! This year will be my first time. I’ve done smaller competitions, but not an Iron Man. My goal is to finish and live to tell about it.”
She grimaced. “That doesn’t sound like fun to me.”
His eyes crinkled as he smiled back at her. “Yeah, sometimes that’s just how I feel. When I’m in agony I ask myself, why am I doing this again?”
“I have to admire your determination, though.”
“Thanks.”
After dinner they moved into his living room and he cleared magazines and newspapers off the couch so they could sit. “Sorry about the mess,” he muttered. “I kind of don’t notice it so much when I’m here alone.”
His apology touched something inside her. “No worries. I can live with a little clutter. Well. Not for long. It might drive me crazy after a while.”
He slid one arm around her and tipped up her chin. “I’ll clean up before you come next time.”
Next time. Her heart missed a beat as she gazed into his eyes. That made it sound so…real.
Jake’s office phone warbled and he absently grabbed for it Tuesday afternoon, not taking his eyes off his computer screen.
“Jake Magill,” he barked into the phone, then regretted the sharp tone. Drew had already accused him of being a grouchy sonofabitch earlier that day. And yeah, he was feeling irritable and ornery. Because he’d wanted so much to see Shelby last night but hadn’t let himself give in and call her. Why he was denying himself, he had no fucking idea. Oh yeah, he did. Because Sunday night at his condo he’d had the weirdest thought that he didn’t want her to ever leave, and that was just not acceptable. It irritated him.
“Hi, Jake. It’s me.”
The voice startled him bolt upright in his chair.
“Gianna.”