Sweet Trouble

CHAPTER FIVE

MATT STOOD. “I’M NOT a yogurt kind of guy,” he said. “How about some fries?”

“Sure.” Jesse watched him walk to the front of the restaurant and order.

He was so different, she thought, wishing they could all be more comfortable together. That would take time. She knew that. Most good things took time. Only this wasn’t what she wanted—the distance, the strained conversations. She wanted them to be comfortable together … a family.

If only, she thought, not sure that would ever happen. So much time had passed. It hurt to remember how close she and Matt had been and how much had been lost.

He returned with a tray and three orders of fries.

“That’s a lot of food,” she murmured, knowing Gabe couldn’t eat even half of the order and she shouldn’t. Fries seemed to take a straight line to her thighs.

“Eat what you want and leave the rest,” Matt told her.

She held in a laugh. Waste food? Not on her income. Every crumb was accounted for. Not that he would understand that. Matt had been rich when she’d left and he seemed to have done well in the past five years.

Gabe returned to their table and eyed the fries. She smiled. “Yes, you may have some.”

He grinned and grabbed one. Fries weren’t a regular food in their house. All this eating out and fast food was going to go to his head.

Jesse reached for a fry herself, only to find that it didn’t taste like much. She wasn’t hungry at all. If anything, her stomach felt a little queasy. The old “I used to be in love with you and now I’m nervous” diet. Limited audience, but very effective. She grabbed her coffee.

“You were in Spokane the whole time?” Matt asked.

“Yes. I ran out of gas and money pretty much at the same time. Once I was working, I didn’t feel the need to move on.” She hadn’t been hiding, just trying to get away. Not that anyone had come looking for her.

She felt bitterness rise up inside of her, but pushed it away. Both Nicole and Matt had been angry with her, thinking she’d betrayed them. That’s why they hadn’t hunted her down and dragged her back. At least that’s what she told herself because it was better than the alternative. That neither of them had really cared about her at all.

“Have you seen your sister?” Matt asked.

Was he showing interest in her? Being polite? Was it possible he could get over being mad?

“Yes. I stopped by to see Nicole after I saw you.”

“How did that go?”

“Not great. She’s dealing with a lot right now. She has twins who are only a few months old, so that’s hard. I’m going to start working in the bakery, just to help out. Plus I’ve created a brownie recipe I think she’ll really like. I’m going to make some for her. Sort of a tasting.”

Which couldn’t be anything he was interested in. So maybe she should talk about something that would be more relevant. As much as it pained her to bring up the past.

“I wanted to tell you,” she said, aware that Gabe was still sitting next to her, munching on fries. “I didn’t know how. You’d been so angry and I was hurt. I felt guilty.”

“About Drew?” Matt asked, anger flaring in his eyes.

She stiffened. “No. Nothing happened there. I told you that.” She glanced at her son. “We’ll talk about that later.”

“Fine, but we will talk about it.”

Because he didn’t believe her, she thought sadly. Just like Nicole didn’t believe her. She pushed away her fries and pressed a hand against her stomach. She felt queasy and uncomfortable. None of this was going the way she wanted. Her fantasy had been a perfect family reunion. Instead she’d gotten an awkward reality, which really sucked.

“I owe you child support,” Matt said.

What? “No, you don’t.”

“Gabe is my son, my responsibility.”

“None of this is about that.” She wished she knew what he was thinking. She’d been able to read him before, but now he was a mystery. “I didn’t come back for money. I came back so you and Gabe could get to know each other.”

Matt didn’t look as if he believed her, but he didn’t say anything. Was that good or bad? Was it too late for him to connect with his son? She refused to believe that.

Gabe leaned against her and sighed.

“Getting tired, buddy?” she asked as she stroked his head. “You had a busy morning.”

He looked at Matt. “I played outside with my grandma, then we read a story. I’m learning my letters. I know Q.”

Matt’s features tightened. “Your grandmother?”

Jesse swore silently. She’d meant to tell him about that.

“Uh-huh,” Gabe said. “My grandma Paula.”

Jesse put her arm around her son. “I went to see her, too. She’s his only grandparent and I wanted them to meet. She was thrilled and invited us to stay.”

“You can’t,” Matt told her. “Not there.”

“Why not? There’s plenty of room and she’s great with Gabe. I want him to get to know all his family.”

“You’re not going to get any money out of her. However she pretends to care, she keeps the cash locked up.”

Jesse’s cheeks heated. “Is that what you think?” she asked as she stood. “That this is all about money? There are more important things.”

“The only people who really believe that are the ones without any money. I’m guessing you’re one of them.”

“You’re right. I don’t have your millions and I don’t need them. Gabe and I do just fine.”

“That’s crap and you know it. This is all about you getting in on what I have. Just admit it, Jesse. At least then we’re starting from a place of honesty.”

She couldn’t believe what he was saying. Did he really believe that about her? Or was it not specifically her? Was it everyone?

“You’re not interested in me being honest,” she told him. “You believe what you want because it’s easier. I can’t stop you, so I won’t try. What I do want to know is how you changed so much. You were never like this before.”

He rose and stared at her. One corner of his mouth turned up in a mocking smile. “I am what you made me, Jesse. You should be proud.”

JESSE STOPPED AT THE red light and did her best to wake up. She was still upset by her conversation with Matt the previous day. She hadn’t slept much and had been up early to bake brownies.

Even breathing in their delicious smell didn’t make her feel any better. She felt tired and beat-up. Telling herself to forget about Matt was good advice, but not something she seemed able to do. While she knew in her head that things were bound to have changed between them, her heart hadn’t gotten the e-mail. Apparently some part of her had foolishly hoped there would still be a connection between them.

“Idiot,” she muttered as the light turned green and she drove through the intersection.

Sure, she’d loved Matt once. He’d been everything to her, but he was gone now. So different that he might as well have been a complete stranger. Wanting more than a slightly cordial relationship with the father of her child was impossible. She would have to accept that and move on. And she would. Just as soon as she got through her meeting with Nicole and downed a triple-shot latte.

She pulled up in front of her sister’s house and parked. The brownies were in a pink bakery box she’d bought. That morning she’d made two batches of each of the three flavors she wanted Nicole to taste. She’d cherry-picked a dozen of the best brownies of each flavor and put them in little paper cups. Presentation was everything, she reminded herself.

After collecting the box, she walked to the front door and rang the bell.

The door was answered by a tall, well-built, gorgeous guy who could have been an underwear model ten years ago.

“Hi,” he said with a grin. “I’m Hawk. You must be Jesse. Come on in. I’m not allowed to stay for the tasting. Nicole says I don’t have a subtle enough palate, but those brownies smell good so make sure she doesn’t eat them all.”

“Not to worry, I brought three dozen,” Jesse said, immediately liking the man.

He led the way into the kitchen, which was much tidier than the last time she’d seen it. Nicole stood at the counter, pouring coffee. She turned as Jesse entered.

“Good morning,” she said, not sounding especially excited to have company. “You brought the brownies?”

“Yes.” Jesse set the box on the kitchen table.

Another woman entered the room. Someone as tall and blond as Nicole, with similar features.

Claire, Jesse thought, feeling strange at seeing her other sister—the one she’d never really known.

Claire and Nicole were fraternal twins, six years older than Jesse. At the age of three, Claire had sat down at a piano and started playing perfectly, despite the fact that she’d never had a lesson. By the time Jesse was born, she’d been whisked off to New York to study and play around the world. Jesse had grown up never really knowing Claire, only resenting her princess lifestyle as she moved from fabulous city to fabulous city, meeting the rich and famous and playing the piano.

Jesse and Nicole had been stuck back in Seattle, trying to grow up without much supervision. Nicole had always hated Claire for leaving, even though it hadn’t been her choice, while Jesse had simply wanted to go with her on her travels.

Jesse still didn’t know Claire very well, but she’d been the one to stay in touch when Jesse had moved away.

“You made it back,” Claire said by way of greeting. “Is Seattle the same as you remembered?”

“Pretty much. There’s a lot of new construction.”

“That’s the strong job market drawing people here.” Claire took the mug of coffee Nicole offered. Jesse did the same.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Jesse felt uneasy. While these people were her family, they were strangers for one reason or another. And they all thought the worst of her.

Hawk moved next to Nicole and put his hands on her shoulders. He whispered something, then kissed her. His adoration was visible even across the room. Jesse felt a rush of pleasure that her sister had found someone so good for her and, close at its heels, envy, because she wanted the same thing for herself. She immediately thought of Matt, which was dumb. He might have been “the one” five years ago, but he wasn’t anymore.

“I’ll leave you ladies to your tasting,” Hawk said. “Nicole, remember what I said.”

She laughed. “We’re not going to eat them all. You’ll have plenty.”

She and Hawk shared one of those intimate looks that passes between people who know each other and are secure in their love, then he left.

Nicole and Claire both sat at the table. Jesse joined them and opened the bakery box.

“I have three kinds of brownies,” Jesse said. “Plain chocolate, chocolate with walnuts and peanut-butter chocolate.”

“And these are your recipes?” Nicole asked.

Jesse resisted the urge to snap. “Yes. I developed them myself. I’ve kept records so there’s a clear evolution of the process.”

She hated that she had to explain herself, that Nicole just wouldn’t trust her, but that was her sister’s way. Nicole would never forgive Jesse for selling the famous Keyes cake online five years ago.

Nicole took one of each brownie. Claire did the same, then laughed. “I’m not really an expert. Is saying I like them going to be enough?”

“It is for me,” Jesse said, then held her breath as Nicole took a bite.

Nicole chewed and swallowed without saying anything. She got up and filled a glass with water, took a sip, returned to the table and tasted again.

She ate slowly, and deliberately, tasting each brownie three times before finishing her water and turning to Claire.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“They’re amazing. Really rich without being overpowering. I’m not usually big on the whole peanut-butter-chocolate combo, but even those are incredible.”

Jesse didn’t relax. Nicole wouldn’t care what Claire thought.

Nicole pushed away the brownies. “They’re good. I’d sell them in the bakery.”

Jesse exhaled. “All three flavors?”

Nicole nodded.

Relief was sweet and instant. “Great. So now what?”

Claire rose. “I’m going to leave you two to talk business. I’ll be in the back with the kids.” She patted Jesse on the shoulder as she left.

Nicole leaned back in her chair. “What do you want? You said before you were interested in earning your way back in. Is that still true?”

“Yes.” What did she want? A do-over. She wanted to somehow change the past. Except she wouldn’t give up Gabe and she liked the person she’d become.

“I want to work for you for six months,” Jesse began, making it up as she went. “After that period of time, we’ll discuss me becoming your partner. During that six months, you’ll get the brownie recipes. If things don’t work out, I take them with me.”

“And go sell them somewhere else? I don’t think so. If you leave, the brownie recipes stay, but I’ll pay you for them.”

Jesse didn’t like that, but she understood Nicole’s concerns. She wouldn’t want to sell something in the bakery for six months only to lose it and possibly customers.

Before Jesse could respond, Nicole said, “Or I could just buy you out. You’re over twenty-five now. I could get a loan and you’d get cash for half what the bakery is worth.”

It would be a lot of money, Jesse thought. Enough for her to start her own business. But that wasn’t what she wanted.

“I want to make this work,” she told her sister. “That’s why I’m here.”

“I have trouble believing that,” Nicole admitted. “But you’re different. That’s obvious.”

“I don’t care what I do at the bakery. You always need extra help. I’ll provide that. I’m not saying I have to be in charge. You’re still the boss.”

Nicole shifted in her seat. “An interesting statement. Since having the twins, it’s been really hard for me to get into the bakery much. We’re stretched pretty thin. What I need is someone to help run the place. You have any management experience?”

“I’ve been running a bar.”

Nicole’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding.”

“No. I worked my way up from server. I would bartend and run the place a few nights a week. I’ve managed employees and drunk customers. A few businesspeople buying donuts and coffee will be easy. I also have my associates’ degree in business.”

“You went to college?”

“In the morning. I worked at night and did homework when I could.”

“What about Gabe?”

“I raised him, too.”

“You’ve been busy.”

Jesse nodded. She felt a little pride and took pleasure in the fact that Nicole seemed impressed. Despite what Nicole believed, Jesse cared about what her sister thought of her. Which was why she was willing to shatter the moment of connection between them by saying, “We have to talk about Drew.”

It was like a wall came down. “No, we don’t,” Nicole snapped.

“Fine. You can just listen. I didn’t sleep with him. I never slept with him or had anything close to an inappropriate relationship with him.” Jesse spoke quickly, afraid Nicole might bolt. “We used to talk, nothing more. He listened and I had a lot to say. One night …” She drew in a breath.

“That night I was upset. I’d found an engagement ring while I was helping Matt unpack. I knew he was going to propose. I loved him so much, but I was terrified, too. Terrified of blowing it. I’d never had a real relationship before. Could I have one with Matt? I wanted to, but I’d always managed to mess up everything good in my life. I didn’t want to screw up with him.”

Nicole started to stand. Jesse put her hand on her arm.

“You have to listen.”

“I don’t want to hear this.”

“I need to tell you.”

Nicole sank back in the chair and crossed her arms over her chest. “Go on.”

“I was crying,” Jesse said, thinking that not talking about this was so much easier. She hated the feelings that rushed up in her, the sense of being swept back into the past. “He sat on the bed and told me I couldn’t change who I was. I would never settle for one guy. Girls like me didn’t settle down.”

She swallowed against the tightness in her throat. “I was stunned. Was he right? Was I going to hurt Matt? Worse, maybe I didn’t deserve him.”

She closed her eyes. Shame filled her. Shame that someone would think she was worth so little. “Drew kissed me. He kissed me and I let him because I’d always used guys to make myself feel better. Why should this be different? Then he pulled off my T-shirt and touched my bare skin and I lost it. I knew I didn’t want anyone but Matt. That I had changed. I started to push him away.”

There was more. There was how sick she’d felt inside. How she’d thought she was going to throw up. There was her terror that Nicole would hear them and come in, which was what had happened anyway. There was the rapid pounding of her heart and the knowledge that the very last piece of innocence buried deep inside had been shattered.

“That’s when you came in,” she whispered. “Drew jumped up and shouted that I’d been coming on to him. I knew you were going to believe him.”

She opened her eyes. Nicole stared at her, but she couldn’t read her expression. Did her sister believe her? Did she still hate her?

There was so much more she wanted to explain. She wanted to say that it had hurt so much to have Nicole turn her back on her. It had hurt to be shut out of her only family.

“I didn’t sleep with him,” Jesse repeated. “Nothing happened and not because we were interrupted.”

“I want to believe you,” Nicole told her. “For a lot of reasons.”