I heard Blaire talking on the phone in the kitchen as I stood just outside on the balcony. She had explained on the ride over that Nan had been badly beaten up by August. Or that was what Nan had said when she called Rush.
I could see in Blaire’s eyes that she wasn’t sure she believed that story. But she had understood Rush’s need to go. I also understood that he needed backup if it was true, and Grant was his brother—or the closest thing he had to one.
But the image of Grant holding Nan and comforting her was haunting me. I hated that I was being that selfish. I wasn’t a selfish person. My feelings for Grant were making me different. I didn’t exactly like some of the differences, either. If Nan had been beaten up by August, then she needed her brother and Grant. They were the only two men in her life she could trust.
“That was Rush,” Blaire said from behind me.
“How is she?” I asked, unable to look back at Blaire. I was afraid she’d see what I was thinking in my eyes, and I was ashamed.
“She was telling the truth. Rush said he had beat her pretty bad, and she was knocked unconscious.”
My chest hurt, but it wasn’t in sympathy for Nan. It was for me. It was because I could see Grant slipping away from me. I hated myself for that. Was I truly that cruel?
“Rush is going to find August. He sent Grant with Nan to the hospital. He said he wanted her checked out.”
So Grant was with her. Alone. This was it. He was a sucker when it came to Nan in need. I had seen how he had chased after her before when he felt she needed someone.
“Rush wanted you to know Grant didn’t want to take her. He guilted him into it.”
I could hold on to that for a little while. Maybe it would ease my fear. Or maybe preparing myself for the worst was the best way to protect my heart. Not that it would really make a difference. I was too far gone anyway.
“I used to hate her. I thought she was the bane of my existence. But over time, I’ve realized that Nan is just sad. She has pushed everyone away and made them hate her and her ugly heart. She does nothing to endear herself to anyone. She has to call Rush because he’s her brother. He’s the only one who’ll come running. She didn’t call Grant tonight because she knew he wouldn’t answer, much less come to the rescue. But she knew Rush would, and she knew he would bring Grant. Even when she’s at her lowest point, she manipulates people. Grant’s smart enough to see that.”
I hoped she was right.
“He saw something in her before,” I said simply.
Blaire stood beside me. “He saw someone who was in need of fixing. Grant likes to fix things. When I first came here, Rush hated me. He wanted me gone. But Grant made sure that didn’t happen. The next morning when I woke up, I was worried about how I was going to afford to get gas so I could find a job. When I got to my truck, there was a note on it from Grant. He’d filled my truck up with gas. It’s just who he is. Nan is broken and she isn’t fixable. Grant figured that out. He has you and he isn’t going to mess that up.”
I felt tears sting my eyes. I knew Blaire’s history. She’d come here alone, lost but brave. The fact that Grant had made sure she’d had gas only made me love him more. I gripped the railing hard and closed my eyes. I would not cry.
“I’m in love with him,” I admitted, in a whisper so low I wasn’t sure she heard me. I hoped she hadn’t as soon as I said it.
“I know. It’s all over you when you’re with him. But he’s in love with you, too. I’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you.”
I thought of Rush and the way he protected Blaire. The possessive gleam in his eyes, and the way he kept her so close to him. I didn’t have that. She had something exceptional, and I had read too many romances. I wanted that, too. I hadn’t realized it was real until I had seen Rush with Blaire.
That kind of love wasn’t a fantasy. It was real.
“I want the fantasy. I want him to love me the way Rush loves you.”
Blaire leaned into me and bumped my shoulder with hers. “He’s headed that way if he isn’t there already. You’ve gotten under his skin.”
“He hasn’t told me he loves me,” I told her.
“He will,” she replied. “When he’s brave enough, he’ll tell you.”
I tried to believe that. I wanted to believe that.
“All my life I’ve seen my dad screw around with women and throw them aside as if they meant nothing. I worried that love wasn’t real, or if it was that I didn’t have the right genetic makeup to love like you love Rush. I had never been in love. I was so guarded. I worried that I wouldn’t love because my father couldn’t love. Then . . . then I saw him with . . .” I stopped. I didn’t know if I wanted to share this with Blaire. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to ever share what I had seen. “He loves my mom. Even though she can’t speak or move, he wants to be near her. He brushes her hair.” That fact still baffled me. I had never known he could be that way.
“My guess is that you’re just like your mother. She inspired that kind of love and devotion from a rock star who could have anyone he wanted. It’s a special gift, and you need to learn to trust that you’re worthy of that love. Give Grant time. He’s just now figuring things out, and I believe he’s worth waiting for.”
I nodded. She was right. He was worth it. I had to stop doubting him. Twice in one night. Another trait I had that I hated. I was insecure. Painfully so. It was time I overcame that. I didn’t know if I had a long life with Grant or not. But I wanted him. I wanted this to be my life. When it was over, I wanted to know I had this.
It was time I told him my secret. He deserved to know.
Three hours later, my phone rang as I sat curled up on the Finlays’ sofa. Blaire had gone upstairs earlier when Nate had started crying. She said he was used to Rush rocking him to sleep, so she had to give him extra attention.
“Hello,” I said, knowing it was Grant.
“Hey, you still at Rush’s?” he asked.
“Yes,” I replied.
“Good. I have to get Nan inside and make sure she gets into bed. Doctor says she needs to be woken up every hour. She’s got a pretty bad concussion. I’ll come get you as soon as she’s in bed.”
I wasn’t going to dwell on the fact he was putting her to bed. I was stronger than that. “Okay,” I replied.
“Harlow?” he said, the concern in his voice obvious.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry about all this. Please know it changes nothing. She’s just Rush’s little sister. Okay?”
“I know.”
Grant let out a frustrated sigh. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. I swear.”
“I’m fine. Take your time,” I assured him before hanging up.
The front door opened and Rush came walking in. He walked past the open doorway to the living room then stopped, backtracked, and looked at me. “Hey, you’re still here,” he said.
“Yeah. Grant just called.”
“I needed his help tonight. That’s the only reason he did this.”
“I know,” I said, even if I didn’t completely get it.
“He wanted to come back to you,” Rush told me.
“It’s okay, Rush. I’m not upset,” I assured him.
He looked relieved. “Nate asleep?” he asked.
“He was crying and Blaire went up to rock him.”
“He wants me. It’s our time. Tell Grant I said thanks,” he told me.
“I will.”