Take Me for Granted

Chapter 23: Grant

“First time?”

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

I quickly straightened myself up and took two steps back in the sand. Why the fuck didn’t I see this coming? Why the fuck didn’t I see all the signs? I’d assumed her innocence had something to do with bad experiences with other guys. I’d thought I could crack open the shell encasing her. I’d thought that she would see that it was okay to be with me.

But fuck…

Virgin?

That was a four-letter word in my vocabulary. Most dudes liked virgins. They got off on the idea of taking someone’s purity, claiming her innocence. Not me. Not ever.

Ari’s eyes were wide as she stared up at me expectantly. And I had no fucking clue what to do. Instincts told me to back away slowly and then get the hell out of here. This was a shitty situation. I’d fucked dozens and dozens of girls. I shouldn’t be the one to take this from her.

“I should have told you earlier,” she said, tugging her clothes back on. She stood and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Why didn’t you?” I demanded.

Her hurricane eyes clouded over. “I wasn’t going to tell you at first because I didn’t think we would end up here. Then, the further and further we progressed in…whatever this is, I just couldn’t force the words out.”

“You should have told me.” For some reason, it was the only thing I could think about. “Do you know how many times I’ve tried to have sex with you, and you could have easily told me?”

“Yes!” she cried. “Yes, I know. I know. I’m sorry, Grant.”

I couldn’t believe we were arguing about this. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I should have been fucking ecstatic that Ari wanted to have sex with me and that she was being honest with me. It fucking meant that I could have her just like I’d been wanting since day one. But I kept pushing that thought away, and instead, I focused on the fact that I would have to start from square one.

It would be awkward, uncomfortable, and even painful for her. Would she cry? Would I hurt her? Christ¸ I’d never once cared enough about a girl to wonder if I was going to hurt her.

“I feel like an idiot…like I should have known.”

“What? Should I have had virgin stamped on my forehead or something?”

I could tell she was getting irritated, but I couldn’t get a grasp on it.

“Get it fucking tattooed to your forehead. That would have been a better indicator.”

“Well, sorry!” she snapped. “I didn’t think I’d be in this condition forever.”

“How have you been in this condition for this long?”

“I’m nineteen!”

“I had sex at fifteen!”

“I’m not a whore!” she screamed back in my face.

“Babe, please, I prefer manwhore.”

She angrily ground her teeth together. “You’re such an asshole.”

I couldn’t keep it together. I was fucking it all up, but I couldn’t stop. Would I have continued to pursue her? In the beginning, no. After I’d gotten to know her…I didn’t know.

Yes.

I hadn’t lied when I said Ari made me stop feeling. She made me stop feeling the pain. She helped push back the memories. She helped focus me. Fuck, she makes me a better person. And I thought, in turn, I fucking made her a better person. She might be perfect on the outside, but I’d expanded her universe.

I wanted to tell her all of this, to drop down to my knees in the sand and let her know everything I was feeling. Instead, I just stood there, letting my frustration get the better of me.

“And you know what? Since you’re so set on being a manwhore,” she spat the word back at me, “it’s probably in my best interest not to sleep with you. It’s not like this is anything like a relationship. I’m sure you’ve been fucking everything that walks when we haven’t been together anyway!”

I fucking exploded. I couldn’t let her think that. “Ari, I haven’t been with anyone else since the day we fucking met!”

“What?” she asked, stunned.

“Yeah. You ruined me.”

“But you were gone for a week, and the guys made it seem like—”

“I lied!” I blubbered on. “I fucking lied to them. I’ve been lying to them since we met because I didn’t want to look like a pussy.”

She stared at me in shock. “You really haven’t been with anyone else…since September?”

“Damn, Ari, I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve wanted to get laid something fierce. Blue balls and I have gotten comfortable together. I haven’t gone this long without sex since…ever.”

“Well, that’s reassuring.”

I let the words tumble out of my mouth—everything I’d been holding back, everything I should have said to begin with instead of fucking freaking out on her for being a virgin.

“But that’s the thing. Virgin or not, I’ve waited this long for you. I can keep waiting for you.”

“Grant…” she said, releasing some of her anger with a sigh.

“I’m not going to fuck it up, Ari. I’m no fucking good at this. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never been a…boyfriend. But ever since the first time we met, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, and I’m not about to start now.”

“Grant McDermott, did you just call yourself my boyfriend?” Ari whispered.

I tugged the dog tags over my head and then closed the distance between us. “Princess, you haven’t figured that out by now?”

She took in a deep shuddering breath. “I didn’t want to assume anything.”

“Assume away.”

I placed the dog tags around her neck. She fingered them loosely in her hand. Her mouth was open slightly in surprise.

“Now, everyone else will, too.”