TamingTara

Chapter Twenty-Two

She heard rapid footsteps, then the door closing.

Silence enfolded her. She couldn’t feel her own body anymore, just heat, just shifting, floating warmth. Where had he gone? Why? He’d just left her here, restrained and helpless.

Borne along by sensation, she let go, thoughts drifting through her mind like wisps of smoke. If she trusted him with this—her body, her soul—she had to trust him with everything. He would never do anything to harm the company. She knew it on an instinctive, primal level, that his innate honesty and intelligence, the sense of responsibility and the compassion he’d demonstrated to her over and over, would never be compromised.

He would never try to take it away from her. And she knew too the reason that knowledge made her so sad was because she didn’t want him to leave. She was in love with him, and the fact that this was a short-term stopover for him was like a knife stabbing into her heart, more painful than the slap of the paddle on her ass.

Whatever he told Grandpa about her plan would be honest and would be the best thing for the company. If he didn’t support it, it would be for good reason and she’d have to work harder. If he did support it, it would be justified.

Bound and helpless, euphoric with pain, she felt free. Free to just feel. Free to feel the amazing heights she flew to, free and secure enough with herself to admit she didn’t want to do it all on her own. That submitting to Joe meant strength, not selling out. That by admitting she wanted him, needed him, she wasn’t betraying her true self—it was her true self. Tara felt connected with herself in a way she never had before, connected with an inner part of herself she had been denying for so long.

Her thoughts all came together with crystal clarity and for the first time she recognized the truth in what Joe had tried to tell her—by submitting to him, she had power over him.

Submission was truly freedom and love and—she realized with awe—power.

She had no idea how long she floated on a euphoric shimmer, lost in her wandering thoughts and feelings, until Joe returned. Hands unfastened her wrists and ankles, turned her. Her head fell back against the cross and Joe rubbed her wrists, lifted them to his mouth and kissed them tenderly. He laid his hands on her aching shoulders, warm and heavy, massaging tense muscles with bone-melting strokes.

“Are you okay?” he whispered.

“Yes.” And she was. She felt safe, loved, certain he would take care of her. She opened her eyes and sought his. Was he okay though? “Where did you go? Why did you leave me?”

“Christ, Tara.” He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the pallet on the floor, then laid her gently on the mattress. “I had to leave, I was losing control.” He shook his head, his mouth a grim line. “Nobody’s ever got me that close to the edge before.”

He lay down beside her and wrapped her in his arms. She started to shiver and he rolled to his feet, unfolded the soft blanket lying on the pallet and covered her gently with it. He stripped off his clothes, climbed under the blanket with her and enveloped her in his body heat, hands stroking and warming and comforting her.

“Easy,” he whispered, pressing his mouth to her hair. “I’ve got you. It’s okay, Tara. It’s okay.” She sank into his embrace, absorbing his heat and his touch and his words until her trembling eased and her body became warm and pliant.

He rolled her under him and eased himself up onto his elbows to gaze down at her. The respect and reverence and appreciation in his eyes had her lungs seizing up, heat suffusing her body. She could not look away from him.

He smoothed her hair off her face, palmed her cheeks, then kissed her mouth in a slow kiss full of worship and longing. She poured it all back into him, her mouth moving against his, unable to get enough of him, unable to give enough to him. Her hands gripped his shoulders, so solid, so strong.

“I love you, Tara,” he said, voice deep and throaty. “Know that.”

“I know it.” She gazed back at him, a connection so powerful she felt it stretching between them, drawing them together. “I know it. And I love you too.”

Then he was inside her, filling her, stretching her, completing her. She tingled and ached, arching under him to meet his strokes, their eyes locked.

She clung to his shoulders as he surged inside her, the tingling intensifying into electricity, shimmering hot and swelling larger and larger, sliding over her body, weakening her limbs, tightening her womb until she came around him, her body clenching hard on his thick cock inside her. She cried out as she dug her fingers into the heavy muscles of his shoulders.

“Yeah,” he groaned. “Oh yeah, baby, squeeze me like that. Christ. Oh Christ, Tara.” And his body tensed against her, his face tightened into a near-grimace as he poured himself into her. She felt each pulse inside her, the white-hot heat of him without a condom. She should be upset about that, but she wasn’t—because she trusted him.

Their bodies slid together, slick with sweat, limp and panting for long moments, clutching each other as if they never wanted to let go. And Tara knew her world had changed. Irrevocably. Forever. For better.

“Do you want to talk here?” he murmured in her ear a long time later. “Or go somewhere else?”

“We have to talk?”

He tapped her butt and she smiled against his chest. Realization of the power she too held over him through her submission sent a thrill chasing up her spine. It was fun to push his buttons too, exciting to learn how far he’d let her go and what he’d do to her if she pushed too far.

She was absurdly glad she’d pleased him, insanely proud of herself for submitting so totally.

“I would like to go to the ranch,” she said softly. “But there’s so much we need to talk about…”

“Yeah. We’ll go there. But first let’s get a few things out in the open.”

She nodded and he helped her to sit. She wrapped the blanket around her and he sat naked on the mattress. Emotion surged inside him as he looked at her, hair all tousled, lips swollen, her eyes sweetly submissive, her gaze fastened intently on him.

“I’ve heard of Domspace, but I’ve never experienced it like that,” he said, shaking his head, still shocked and confused by the intensity of emotion that had overcome him while he’d been dominating Tara. Every sense had become hyperalert—he’d smelled her arousal mingled with the scent of melting beeswax, heard every cry and moan and breath she uttered, Christ, he’d thought he could hear her heartbeat. He’d felt every impact of the paddle as if it was on himself, knew exactly how hard and far to push her, read every signal her body gave off as if their minds and senses had merged, an intense and erotic bond. Nothing and no one else had existed for him, and at the point he realized that, he’d set the paddle down and walked out of the room. In the hall outside, he’d leaned against the wall, dragging air into his lungs, trying desperately to figure out what it all meant, trying desperately to regain control.

And that was when he realized why he’d so desperately wanted to tame her.

She’d given him back his self-respect. By submitting to him, by trusting him completely, she’d made him feel like a man again instead of the loser he’d felt when he’d arrived in Santa Barbara, someone viewed as a criminal, treated as a criminal, not worthy of hiring for even entry-level positions. She’d given him the most precious gift of her submission and the power of it had overwhelmed him.

“I’m sorry I left you like that.”

“I knew you’d come back.”

A connection again arced between them.

“Are you taking that job offer?” she asked.

“You heard?

She nodded, watching him.

“I haven’t given them my answer yet.”

“Why not? I thought you had to decide today.”

“That’s what they wanted. But I had to talk to you first.”

“Me? Why?”

His eyes roved over her beautiful face, the smooth line of her bare shoulders, the curves of her breasts visible above the edge of the blanket.

“Because if you really want me to go…I will.”

Her eyes widened.

“I know you think I’m the enemy,” he continued. She opened her mouth to say something and he pressed two fingers to her soft lips. “Wait. I’m ready to leave if you still believe I’m a threat to you running the company. If that’s what you really want…I’ll leave.”

A sharp ache materialized in his chest as he spoke the words to her. But he’d come to realize in those moments of lucidity she meant everything to him. In taming her, in succeeding in the biggest challenge he’d ever had, he’d fallen in love with her. She’d made him feel like a man again, not a loser with a criminal reputation who couldn’t even find a job. The mutual respect and trust they’d built between them had changed him too, and the love he felt for her meant he’d do anything for her.

“Isn’t it what you wanted?” she asked softly. “Going back to San Francisco? You said you never intended to stay here.” A shadow passed across her eyes.

“That was my intention when I got here,” he agreed. “It’s not now. But I’ll leave. If you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to.”

Relief swelled inside him like a balloon. He grinned. “I wanted you to say it. Tell me, Tara.”

“I already told you. I love you. I trust you. I trust with you with everything, Joe. The business is the least important thing I trust you with.”

He nodded.

“Tonight, you set me free,” she continued, fingering the blanket. “I realized so many things.”

“Like…?”

“I need you. I want you to help me run the company. You know so much about things I don’t…everyone likes you and respects you.”

“They respect you too, Tara.”

“I suppose.” Her eyes cast down. “But…I think I haven’t made it easy for them to like me. I’ve been so focused on being in charge, on being in control…you’ve helped me let go of that. Loosen up a bit. Last week I felt like I…belonged. That dinner the other night was the first time I felt like I had a place, that I fit in. You made me feel like that.”

She lifted her eyes to him and her words caused an ache in his gut.

“You challenged me in so many ways. Business cases. Rationale and research.” The corners of her mouth lifted. “But it’s not just about the business. I need you in so many ways. You called me a coward because I was running from myself. And you were right.”

“Don’t make me have to tell you that again,” he growled. “Or I’ll paddle that pretty pink ass again.”

Her cheeks flushed.

“Tara, the truth is, you’ve not only surrendered to me, you’ve conquered me,” he said on a sigh. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve never met a woman who challenged me in so many ways. You drove me out of my fucking mind—I had to have you.”

“You have me.”

“You have me too. Christ, Tara. You’ve given me so much.”

Her eyes widened. “I have?”

“You’ve given me your submission. The most precious thing you could give me. And in doing that, you gave me back my confidence. My self-respect.”

She eyed him a little skeptically. “I don’t think there’s been anything wrong with your confidence.”

His laugh turned into a groan. “Oh baby, you have no idea. My self-esteem took a kicking with what happened at NCC.” He sighed. “And now I’m nothing without you. No Dom ever is without a sub. You have power too.”

“I realized that. Tonight. I never knew that by giving in I would feel so powerful. So strong.”

“The truth is, we need each other,” he said, reaching for her hands. “We enable each other to become who we really are. We both have to be willing to surrender.”

“Oh Joe.” Her lower lip quivered.

“I tried so hard to tell you. Thank God you finally experienced it, because the power you have has to be given freely. I can tie you up and hold you down and make you do things you won’t even admit you want—but for you to submit to me completely—body, heart, soul—you have to do it willingly. When we left the ranch last week, I didn’t feel much hope you would ever get it.”

“I’ve been fighting it. I’ve been fighting you.” She paused. “I’m sorry, Joe.”

Her pretty apology tore at something inside him, humbled him. Defiant, difficult Tara apologizing and admitting she’d been wrong made something soft and warm break free inside him, made him feel so powerful and elated.

“I’m going to push your limits, Tara.”

She nodded, a shimmer of fear mingled with her trust in those amber eyes.

“In so many ways. By expanding your limits I’ll be expanding your capabilities and your self-confidence. But I can only do that when you trust me.”

“I trust you.”

“Did you tell your grandfather about my last job?”

“No.”

Another feeling like being grabbed by the throat took hold of him. He nodded, fought to swallow the emotion welling up inside him.

“It didn’t make a difference,” she said. “I know you didn’t do it. And I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt Santa Ynez Olives.”

“Thank you.” The words scraped out over a throat that felt like sandpaper.

“And did Grandpa talk to you about my business case for high density planting?”

“Yes.”

“What did you tell him?”

He studied her, the curiosity in her eyes untinged with fear or animosity or worry.

“I told him I support it. I think we’d be crazy not to do it. You’ve worked out all the details and it’s a solid plan.”

She blinked at him, her eyes suddenly shiny in the dim blue light. “Thank you. But again—I trusted you would do the best thing for the company. If you said my plan wouldn’t work, it would be justified. And I’d just go back to the drawing board.”

“I would have told you that before you presented it to Tyrone,” he pointed out gruffly and gave a small cough. “I wouldn’t set you up to fail.”

“I knew that too.” Her mouth went soft and her bottom lip quivered. “Oh Joe. I love you so much. Please don’t leave. We can run the company together. I’ll learn from you and…”

“And I’ll learn from you. C’mere.” He opened his arms and she scrambled over into his lap, half-losing the blanket. He held her tightly, pressed his cheek to the top of her head. “I told you before, you’re smart and knowledgeable and intuitive about the business. And you made me feel good about myself again—not like a scummy loser who couldn’t get a job—you made me feel strong again. Just know that we need each other.”

“I won’t let you tell me what to do all the time.”

He grinned. “That’s good.”

Her hand slid from his neck, cupped the back of his head and drew his mouth down to hers, opening for him. He kissed her, one hand on her back, one hand sliding to her ass to bring her closer yet, his mouth moving on hers in a long, lingering kiss. Her lips were velvety and sweet, her tongue gently nudging his as he kissed her over and over again. With a final slow kiss, he lifted his head and smiled down at her.

“We’ll have fun, Tara,” he promised her. “We’ll work hard, but we’ll have fun.”

“We’ll probably fight.”

“No doubt about it,” he agreed happily. “It is fun pushing your buttons. Although I have to say, lately you’ve been a lot less grouchy.”

Her mouth puckered into a reluctant smile. “You softened me up.”

He let a touch of arrogance show. “I knew what you really wanted.”

Then her smile went sly. “But I’m learning about your buttons too.”

Oh yeah, still some spice and spark left there. He’d tamed her, but not broken her, just like he’d wanted, because he still loved the thrill of the challenge, loved her because of that strength and spark.