Tell All

ACT II, SCENE EIGHT

The voice of TerrenceTerry continues as an audio bridge from the previous scene,reading, “ ‘… my most beloved Katherine would shatter every single,solitary bone in her alluring body, and her glamorous Hollywood bloodwould be spattered over half of Midtown Manhattan …’ ” as we dissolveonce more into a fantasy sequence. Here, the lithe, idealized Websterand Miss Kathie cavort about the open-air observation deck on theeighty-sixth floor of the Empire State Building.

In voice-over Terry reads, “ ‘In celebrationof the six-month anniversary of our first introduction, I’d rented theloftiest aerie on the fabled isle of Manahatta.’ ” He reads aloud, “‘There, I’d staged a romantic dinner for two catered from three thousandmiles away by Perino’s.’ ”

The mise-en-scène includes a table set fortwo, draped with a white cloth, and crowded with crystal stemware,silver and china. Julian Eltinge tinkles theivories of a grand piano which has been winched up for the evening. Judy Holliday sings a program of MarcBlitzstein and Marc Connelly songs,backed by the Royal Ballet Sinfonia and Myrna Loy. In every direction, the spires of New York City blaze with lights.

The voice of TerrenceTerry reads, “ ‘Only the crème de la crème of waiters andentertainers were present, all of them snugly blindfolded as in the Erich von Stroheim masterpiece TheWedding March, so Katherine and I would not feel self-consciousas we indulged our carnal assaults upon each other.’ ”

To highlight the fact that this constitutestheir umpteenth sex scene, the willowy, soft-focus Miss Kathie andWebster copulate perfunctorily, as if robots, not looking at oneanother. With their eyes rolled back within their heads, their tongueshanging out the corners of their mouths, panting like beasts, the pairchange position without speaking, the wet slap of their collidinggenitals threatening to drown out the live music.

“ ‘We made love beneath a billion stars andabove a sea of ten million electric lights. There, between heaven andearth, blindfolded waiters tipped bottles of Moëtchampagne directly into our greedy, guzzling mouths, splashingbubbly upon Katherine’s savory bosoms, even as I continued to pleasureher insatiable loins and oblivious waiters slid a succession of chilled,raw oysters down the slippery chute of her regal throat.…’ ”

The fornicating pair continue to couple. Jimmy Durante steps up to the microphone,blindfolded, and sings “Sentimental Journey.”

“ ‘In keeping with my planned tribute,’ ”reads the voice-over of Terrence Terry, “ ‘atthe instant of Katherine’s bucking, clenching petitemort, various steaming rivulets of her feminine juices cascadingdown each of her sculpted thighs, upon that crescendo of passion, theassortment of floodlights which bathe the apex of the tower wereactivated by an unseen hand. The searing light which broke upon us,rather than being the usual white hue, shone tonight in the exact sameshade as Katherine’s insanely violet eyes.…’ ”

The pair step apart and begin absently wipingat their sopping groins, using dinner napkins they then wad and drop.Similarly soiled linen napkins litter the rooftop as the pair continuemopping themselves with the hanging hem of the white tablecloth.

“‘Within moments,’ ” reads Terry, “ ‘we’dsevered our fleshy bond and sat dressed impeccably in evening finery,enjoying an elegant flavorful repast of roasted squab served on Limoges china alongside cooked carrots and garlic,double-stuffed baked potatoes or the option of a small dinner salad withranch dressing or rice pilaf.

“‘ “Webster,” said Katherine, “youstupendously virile male animal, this majestic tower is your onlyphallic rival in the world.” Adding with a lascivious grin, “And I’dgladly climb a million steps to sit atop both.…” ’ ”

In contrast with the ripe voice-over, thedreamy, idealized Miss Kathie and Webster merely devour the foodquickly, swilling wine, their cutlery clattering against their plates,swallowing so quickly their belches threaten to overwhelm the singing.With greasy fingers they gnaw the tiny squab carcasses, spitting thechewed bones from their mouths toward the street far below. Theblindfolded waiters stagger about.

Despite such louche behavior, the voice of Terrence Terry continues reading, oblivious, “‘Even now as Katherine and I stood and strode to the tower’s loftyparapet, preparing to raise our glasses in a champagne toast to this,the world’s most glamorous city, countless lesser mortals dwelt at ourfeet, unaware of the bliss which existed so far above their heads.Somewhere below wandered Elia Kazan, Arthur Treacherand Anne Baxter, each in their own limitedexistence. Down there drifted William Koenig, RudyVallee, and Gracie Allen, no doubtimagining they lived lives of rich fulfillment. But no, if Mary Miles Minter, Leslie Howard and Billy Bitzer were indeed so wise and aware then theywould’ve been us.’ ”

The idealized man and woman shove themselvesaway from the dinner table, grab their drinks and lurch to thebuilding’s edge.

“ ‘In hindsight,’ ” says the voice-over, “‘perhaps we too were blinded by our supreme happiness. “Oh, Katherine,” Idistinctly recall saying, “I do so love, love, loveyou!” Communicating this sentiment not merely with my probing lovepipe, but also my mouth. If I dare say it—with my very life’s breath,every word comingled with the lingering aftertaste of her saucynethers.…’ ”

The star-filtered, stylized version of MissKathie tosses back the last of her champagne and hands the empty glassto the idealized Webster. Even as the blindfolded musicians continue tosaw away on their violins, the Webster substitute checks his wristwatchand yawns, patting his open mouth with the palm of one hand.

“ ‘During that blazing violet moment of oursplendorous adoration,’ ” reads the voice-over, “ ‘Katherine’s elegantlyshod foot skidded against a leftover layer of our spent passion. Inthat infamous moment, mankind’s most dazzling star fell, a flashing,shrieking Halley’s Comet hurtling to thebustling sidewalks of West Thirty-fourth Street.’ ”

The Katherine stand-in shrugs her perfectshoulders in resignation. She kicks off both her high-heeled shoes,climbs the guardrail and swan-dives into the abyss. The idealizedWebster stand-in watches her plunge; then he stoops to collect herdiscarded high heels and flings them after her.

Terry’s voice reads, “ ‘The end.’ ”