Texas Blonde

Chapter Sixteen

Felicity soon realized that Joshua was not nearly as completely recovered as he wanted her to believe and that the long trip had been very difficult for him. After a brief visit with her grandfather, during which Henry Maxwell generously admitted he was glad Joshua had returned for her in spite of the fact that it meant she would eventually be leaving Philadelphia again, Felicity insisted Joshua take his supper in bed.

She wept again when she helped him undress and saw the angry scar from his wound, mute testimony to how close death had come. As they ate from trays in the privacy of their room, they talked for a while about superficial things. Felicity inquired about her loved ones back in Texas and about what had become of Jeremiah after they had successfully wiped out Ortega's gang once and for all. Josh explained that he had reported Jeremiah's death to the sheriff so his half-brother could live the rest of his life free of pursuit for a crime he had not committed. Although it would never be safe for him to return to their part of Texas, where he was known, he could now go wherever else he desired.

Joshua in turn inquired about her exhibit at the Exposition and the reaction to it. Felicity noticed that he no longer seemed quite as disturbed over the success of her work as he once had been, but she did not press the issue. Perhaps he was only being polite because he did not want to spoil their first night back together.

When Felicity judged that Joshua had reached the limit of his strength, she put out the lights and joined him in the big feather bed. They clung to each other, unbearably grateful for this simple pleasure when they considered that death had almost robbed them of it.

In spite of his fatigue, Josh lay awake long after Felicity dozed off. In the darkness he savored the feel and the scent of her body pressed up against his and the tiny movements of the child that lay between them. When he thought of the danger that still lurked, he repeated the prayer that had been answered the first time only in part. "Please, God."

Felicity awoke with a start, disoriented and momentarily confused by the weight that was pressing down upon her. When she tried to struggle free, Joshua muttered a sleepy protest, reminding her that after all these long months, she was no longer sleeping alone. A smile curved her lips as she determinedly lifted his arm from across her chest so she could shift to a more comfortable position. But no sooner had she shifted than a pain wrenched across her body, leaving her breathless and gasping and drenched in the cold sweat of terror.

It was starting! Just the way it had before! She was alone, in the dark, with the terrible, agonizing pain. Panic welled within her, and for a moment she feared that her heart might burst within her chest. But then the small voice of reason managed to make itself heard above the clamor of her fears. She wasn't alone! Joshua was here, and Dr. Strong was right next door. Hadn't the doctor said to summon him instantly, any time, day or night?

"Joshua," she called, shaking him gently, hating to wake him from the rest she knew he needed so badly. "Joshua, wake up!"

"Ussy?" he asked, instantly alert. "Is it the baby?"

"Yes," she said. "The pain just woke me."

Josh heard the tremor in her voice, and for an instant he felt the same terror he knew she was experiencing. It was too soon! He hadn't told her all the things he'd meant to about how much he loved her and how important she was to him and how sorry he was for having hurt her. But he could not think about all that now. He had to take care of her. "Everything will be fine," he promised. "Who should I call?"

Felicity thought frantically. "Bellwood, I guess. There's no use to wake Grandfather or Aunt Isabel yet. Bellwood can go get Dr. Strong."

He gave her a reassuring pat and a hasty kiss before climbing out of the big bed in search of his clothes. He lit a gaslight and then hastily began to dress, recalling as he did so how he had forgotten that important detail the last time. At least he now knew that he could afford the extra few minutes required to make himself presentable. He only wished he did not know how many hours of agony stretched before her.

Felicity lay perfectly still, as if to do so would ward off the ferocity of the next contraction, but it came just the same, wrenching and writhing its way through her body. As she strained against it, she felt a gush of fluid between her legs, soaking her and the bedclothes.

"My… my water… broke," she managed to gasp when the pain subsided. He hastily snatched up some towels, threw back the bedclothes, and began to mop up the moisture as best he could. But distracted by something far more important, Felicity was only vaguely aware of his efforts. "Joshua, the baby's coming," she said in a voice that reflected her bewilderment.

"I know, honey," he soothed her. "I'll get the doctor and everything will be fine."

"No, Joshua," she corrected him urgently. "I mean, the baby is coming now!"

She knew he didn't believe her. She didn't believe it herself, but then another contraction started and she surrendered to the irresistible desire to push. It couldn't be, she knew that, and yet it was. She felt her body opening, spreading, and she lifted her knees to accommodate as she continued to bear down.

"Lissy, what are you…?" Joshua's voice seemed to come from far away. And then he said, "It's coming!" and she knew he had seen what she had sensed.

As the contraction subsided, Felicity fell back, panting and exhausted, but Joshua would not let her rest. "Just once more, Lissy. Come on, girl, you can do it!"

Of course she could do it, she thought with irritation. What was he yelling about? But before she could ask, her body convulsed again, propelling her child into its father's eager hands.

As one in a dream, Felicity stared at the writhing creature Joshua was holding up for her to see. The tiny, wrinkled face screwed up in outrage and then let out a bloodcurdling wail. It was the most beautiful sound Felicity had ever heard.

"Joshua! He's alive!" she cried, laughing and weeping at the same time.

"No, she's alive," he corrected, having noticed a detail Felicity had missed. He was laughing, too, and his eyes were also moist.

"Give her to me!" Felicity commanded, reaching for the infant.

Being very careful of the cord, Josh laid the baby on her mother's stomach so Felicity could touch her precious treasure. Only as he watched her lovingly stroke the tiny body did he begin to realize the magnitude of what had just happened.

The baby was born. Felicity was alive. The baby was alive. It was all over. Less than five minutes had passed since she had awakened him.

"My God," he murmured, and then he realized that he should probably be doing something. The doctor. He should probably get the doctor. He hastily pulled the bedclothes up to cover Felicity and the baby. "I'm going to send for the doctor. Will you be all right until I get back?" he asked.

Felicity smiled blissfully as she soothed her baby. "Of course," she said.

Josh hurried to the door, but when he threw it open, he almost collided with half the residents of the Maxwell mansion.

"What's going on?" Henry Maxwell demanded as he hastily tied the robe of his dressing gown. "I thought I heard a scream."

"I did hear a scream!" Isabel cried, clutching the lapels of her pink silk robe.

Bellwood, half-dressed, wrung his hands. "Sir, would you like me to…"

"Felicity had the baby," Josh announced to all of them. "It's a girl."

Isabel promptly fainted.

Dr. Strong shook his head as he packed his instruments away. "Did I happen to mention that second births are often easier than first births?" he asked with a quizzical grin.

Reluctantly, Felicity lifted her gaze from the sleeping infant that lay beside her in the bed. She nodded her reply to his question. Her eyes were dancing, but she managed not to grin back.

"Well, young lady, I want you to understand that they are rarely this much easier," he explained with mock sternness.

Felicity nodded again, very much aware that she had experienced a small miracle. This time she did not bother to hide her triumphant grin. Fondly, she returned her gaze to her new daughter. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"She's a fine, healthy baby," Dr. Strong demurred. "And that's quite a head of hair she has."

Felicity lovingly stroked the downy black hair her child had inherited from Joshua. "Dr. Strong?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"Will I…" She hesitated, uncertain over exactly how to phrase the question. "Will all my children be born this easily now?"

Dr. Strong considered. "Well, sometimes there are complications that no one can foresee, but I think it is safe to predict that from now on your biggest worry will be staying close to the house during the last month of your confinement."

Before Felicity could respond, someone knocked on the bedroom door. "Come in," she called.

Joshua did so, a worried frown on his face. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything is just fine," Dr. Strong repeated. "And congratulations, Mr. Logan. I don't believe I had a chance to say that earlier in all the excitement."

"Thank you," Josh said, shaking Dr. Strong's hand. "And thank you for looking after her all these months."

"I did very little," Dr. Strong replied with a smile. "And I must say, I'm glad my services were not required here at the end. You and your wife handled everything beautifully."

After Josh and Felicity had thanked him yet again, Dr. Strong took his leave, promising to check back with them in the morning. When they were alone, Josh moved over next to the bed, where he could get another look at his new daughter.

"She's awfully little," he noticed, patting the small bottom.

"She's even bigger than Caleb Joshua was," Felicity said, growing solemn at the sad memory of her beautiful son.

For a moment they gazed at this living baby and remembered the one they had lost. Then Josh realized the importance of what she had said. "Did you say this baby is bigger?"

Felicity nodded, her eyes shining with the renewed hope Dr. Strong's prediction had given her. "Do you know what this means, Joshua? This means we have our life back!"

At his puzzled frown, she explained. "Don't you see? We don't have to be afraid anymore. We can love each other just like we did in the beginning, and we don't have to be afraid that I'll have a baby. I won't die, and we won't lose any more children, either. Oh, Joshua, do you understand? Our life will be just like it was before!"

But Josh stared down at her radiant expression and shook his head. "I don't want our life to be just like it was before, Lissy."

Felicity stared back at him in horror, her hope snuffed. Instinctively, she drew her child closer to her side as if to protect her from whatever awful thing Joshua was going to say. "What do you mean?" she asked warily.

Seeing Felicity's reaction, Josh hastened to reassure her, sitting down on the edge of the bed and reaching out to tenderly stroke her cheek. "What I mean is that I want things to be different for you. When I think back over our marriage, the only time I remember you being really happy was when you first came here, to Philadelphia."

"That's not true!" Felicity protested, but he shook his head.

"It is true. You were never sure of your place as my wife, and that's my fault. You tried so hard to please me, and I never told you how much you had succeeded. I never even told you how much I loved you. And then, when you lost the baby…"

"Don't, Joshua!" she cried, unwilling to let the memory of those awful days mar the joy of the future.

"And then you came here," he continued relentlessly. "You seemed to forget your unhappiness. You were like a different person here, but I got jealous. That's why I wanted to take you away, back home to Texas, where you'd be all mine again. Leaving you here was one of the hardest things I ever had to do."

Felicity felt her eyes fill with tears as she remembered her own bitterness over what she had considered his desertion. She reached up and clasped the hand that still rested by her face and placed a kiss on the roughened palm. "But we were happy when I came back home," she reminded him.

He smiled sadly at the memory. "For a very short while, but then we realized you were pregnant."

He did not need to explain. She remembered only too well the strained desperation she had felt during that time to continue the carefree charade. He, too, must have known the same desperation.

"Joshua, all that is over now. The reasons we were miserable no longer exist. I know you love me, and we don't have to be afraid anymore…"

"But that isn't enough," he insisted, and once more she listened with dread to what he wanted to tell her. "Like I said, the only times you've been really happy are when you were here… and when you're taking photographs. You've never said anything, but I know how much you love that work and how much it meant to you when your pictures were displayed. I… I'm starting to agree with your grandfather that you should have your own studio here and-"

"Are you saying I should live here, with Grandfather?" she asked in horror.

"No!" he hastily explained. "At least not all the time. But if it's that important to you, maybe you could spend part of the year here and part of the year with me…"

Felicity watched his silver eyes cloud with pain as he said these words, and for the first time she understood, really understood, what he was telling her. He believed that she preferred this life to the one they had in Texas and that the fame she had achieved was vitally important to her. The old Joshua would have feared such feelings and would have packed her off to Texas and kept her locked safely away from these temptations. But her new Joshua was willing to share her, was willing to let her have her life that was so alien to his own. This new Joshua was willing to risk losing her in order to give her what he believed would make her happy.

"Would you be with me while I was here?" she asked, testing her theory.

"As much as I could," he affirmed.

"You'd have to be away from the ranch," she reminded him, recalling his fierce devotion to the land, a love that ran so deep she had once actually believed he would leave her just to conduct a roundup.

"Other people can take care of the ranch," he said. "You're more important to me."

Once more tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them away. Now was not the time for weeping. This was the happiest moment in her life. "Joshua, you're more important to me than photography or Philadelphia. Don't you know that?" He looked as if he wanted to, but couldn't quite. "Joshua, listen to me! I do love photography, but I can be a photographer in Texas. I can't be your wife here in Philadelphia, without you, and I'd rather be your wife than anything else!"

His gray eyes searched her face for a long moment before he finally trusted himself to feel the surging joy her words produced. Reminding himself of her delicate condition, he resisted the urge to grab her up and crush her to him. Instead, he carefully leaned over and placed a tender kiss on her upturned mouth.

The kiss was long and infinitely sweet. When at last he lifted his lips from hers, he smiled. "You'll be the best photographer in Texas."

Felicity smiled back, easily reading the love and gratitude on his beloved face. "I'll settle for being a good photographer and a happy wife," she replied.

Josh trudged wearily up onto the ranch house porch. He hated coming home to an empty house, knowing Felicity and baby Claire would not be there to greet him. But as he stepped over the threshold into the front room, he sensed a change, as if the room were charged with some sort of electricity. Candace greeted him with a knowing smile.

"They're home," she reported, confirming what he had instinctively known. She motioned toward the bedroom door.

Inside the bedroom, he found Claire nursing happily at her mother's breast as the two females he loved most snuggled together in the rocking chair. Claire paused long enough to give her father a milky smile before returning to the task before her. Felicity reached out her free hand to him.

"Welcome home," he said, crossing the room in long strides to kiss her smiling mouth.

"Did you miss us?" she asked.

"Terribly," he said, kneeling down beside the chair so he could flirt with his daughter. He captured one baby foot and nibbled at her toes, making her giggle but not distracting her long from her feeding. "I thought you'd be gone a few more days."

"Blanche ran us off," Felicity reported cheerfully. "She said she didn't need any more help."

Josh made a face. "She thinks she can handle twin boys all by herself?"

"She claims she's been handling men all her life, and since these two are so small, they're hardly even a challenge," Felicity explained. "Besides, now that the shock has worn off, even Asa has started to pitch in to help."

"I don't believe I ever saw a man so surprised as he was when you told him the news," Josh recalled with a chuckle. For a few minutes they reminisced about the birth of Blanche's sons and considered the possibility that one or both of them might one day court their own daughter. "I got the cutest photograph of them, too. There's only a slight blur where one of them-I can't tell which one it is-moved his hand just a bit."

"Can anyone tell them apart?"

Felicity shook her head. "Blanche claims she can, but how would any of the rest of us ever know if she's right?"

Josh smiled his understanding. "Well, if Claire's going to marry one of them, I hope she can tell the difference." Josh glanced down at where his daughter still suckled at her mother's breast. He grinned wickedly. "That looks like fun," he remarked.

Felicity grinned back and with her free hand slipped aside her chemise to reveal her other breast. "Help yourself," she offered provocatively.

Josh caught his breath on an overwhelming surge of desire. "I can wait my turn," he responded hoarsely.

Felicity looked down at her daughter and determined that the baby was practically asleep. Gently, she removed her nipple from the baby's mouth and carefully laid her down in the nearby cradle. Felicity patted the little girl a few times to make sure she was safely in dreamland, and then she turned back to her husband.

"Your turn," Felicity said coyly, only to find herself being thrust over her husband's shoulder and carried off to their bed. She whooped in feigned outrage as Joshua tumbled her down on the mattress, but he quickly silenced her protests with his own lips.

Felicity slid her arms around his neck and buried her fingers in the silky softness of his silver hair. His kisses were devouring, and she surrendered, eager to be consumed. His hands worked magic as they pushed aside the barrier of her clothes to caress the breasts he had earlier coveted. Her nipples puckered to aching readiness, and he soothed them with his mouth in an erotic parody of infant eagerness.

Felicity cried out as pleasure swamped her senses, turning her desires into compulsion. "Joshua, please!" she begged. He needed no further encouragement. Tearing away the clothes that restricted them, he took her with an urgency that matched her own. Together they strove for the ultimate union, clinging with hands and lips until their bodies convulsed as one, melding them into a single being.

Joshua lifted himself on his elbows so he could watch her face as the aftershocks rippled through her body. "You're so beautiful," he whispered.

She smiled slowly, savoring the moment. "This reminds me of the first time," she murmured, glancing down at their partially clad bodies. But when she lifted her gaze to Joshua's again, she was surprised to see him frowning.

"I had no right to take you that day," he said, brushing wisps of golden hair off her forehead. "I forced you so that you would have to marry me."

"I knew that," she informed him sweetly. "The only thing I couldn't figure out was why you wanted to marry me."

"What?" Josh said in complete astonishment.

"It's true," she assured him, "It never occurred to me that you might actually be in love with me."

"It never occurred to me either," he replied with a self-mocking grin. "I was just as surprised as you were. But I do love you, more every day," he added, rolling off of her and carrying her with him so that she now rested against his chest.

"And I love you even more," she said with an impish grin.

But he did not return that grin. Instead he grew pensive. "Are you sure that just being my wife is going to be enough for you? If you change your mind about Philadelphia…"

"I'm not going to change my mind," Felicity said with some exasperation. "I told you, I was feeling a little desperate about my photographs back when I thought they were the only 'babies' I would ever have. Now I know that's not true, and for the time being, at least, I'll be perfectly happy to simply photograph my own children."

"Children?" Josh repeated suspiciously.

"Of course," she assured him. "You didn't think I'd be happy with just Claire, did you? I intend to have lots more, because I know you only got married so you could have children to leave the ranch to-"

He used a kiss to cut off her outrageous charges in mid-sentence. When she was breathless, he pulled away again. "You're absolutely right," he assured her just as outrageously, "and I think we'd better get started on the next baby right away."

"I thought we just did," she said innocently.

"That," he informed her, "was only practice."