The Atlas

BUTTERFLY STORIES (II)

It was the morning after her first night of work in the Chinese restaurant which was also a dancehall. How many men danced with you? I said.

Two.

And all you did was dance?

She looked me in the eye. — No.

How were they? I said.

Better than you.

Once you told me I was good.

That was a long time ago.

So they were good too, I guess.

The first one made me come six times. He wanted to do it all night, but he hadn't paid for all night, so I made him stop.

How about the second one?

He's so good I'm going to marry him. I can't get enough of him inside me.

How much did he pay?

Nothing. He was so good, I wouldn't take anything from him. I took all the money the first one gave me and gave it to him. That's why I got fired.

And you're happy?

Of course I'm happy. I'm leaving you and I'm going to get married. I'm going to have the best cock in the world all to myself.

I guess you will.

I guess I will, darling.

What are you going to do for work?

He knows the old lady here. He's going to try to get me my job back. He's going to tell her how good I was.

So you'll be working here?

I hope so.

Are you working now?

What do you mean?

I mean, if I paid you right now, would you go to bed with me one more time?

With you? No. You're not my customer.

If I were paying you I'd be your customer.

You can't ever be my customer. You're not anything but somebody I used to fuck a long time ago.

Yesterday wasn't such a long time ago.

Yes it was.

How much did the first one pay you?

A million dollars, all right? Now leave me alone.

I have five hundred dollars. I'll give it to you if I can have half an hour with you.

Where did you get five hundred dollars?

I just got it. I got it to give you.

And the whole time we were together you never even got me roses.

That was different. That was because we were together. But you said we're not together anymore, so I have to give you something special if I want to love you one more time.

Well, five hundred dollars is special enough, I guess. Half an hour. Come into this room. But you have to wear a rubber, and you can't kiss me.

Why?

Because I don't love you anymore. I'm engaged to someone else.

What will you do if I kiss you?

Your half hour just started. One minute's already gone. I only have to see you for another twenty-nine more minutes, and then I get five hundred dollars and I never have to see you again.

I don't think it's fair to start counting before you shut the door.

There. Now the door is shut. Will you unbutton the back of my blouse?

Did the other two do that?

I wasn't wearing this blouse. But they would have done it, and they would have loved it.

There you are.

Do you like how I pull it over my head? I can feel you looking at my back. My naked back. I can feel your eyes on the hooks of my bra. Do you want to unhook my bra? My tits are excited. My nipples are hard because in a minute you're going to unhook my bra and then I'm going to turn around and shove my tits into your mouth and that's the last time you'll ever be allowed to suck my tits.

What are those bruises above your collarbone?

Love-bites. From those two men. Especially the second one. My whole body smells like him.

I can't smell any other smell but yours.

Oh, yes you can. You can smell those other men all over me. That man-smell's as strong as gasoline. You can see the gashes from their fingernails and everything. But you won't admit it. It would be too humiliating. You'd start to cry, you pathetic jerk.

Are you going to take your underpants off?

You heard me. I told you you had to suck my tits before you could do anything else. Look how hard they are. I'm going to make you suck them until you can taste the other men's spit and breath and sweat.

No.

Do you want to stick it in or don't you?

I don't want to do it anymore.

You changed your mind? Fine. But you still owe me five hundred dollars.

No.

No what?

I said no.

I could see it coming. I should have known. Well, my new husband will beat the shit out of you. Why don't you run on home and wait? I'll give him the key that used to be mine. He'll come over today and break your arms and legs. He's really good at that. That's his job. Here goes my blouse again. Are you going to button me back up or are you going to renege on that too?

I'm going to rip your underpants off and rape you.

I'd like to see you try. All I have to do is look at you and it goes limp. You couldn't rape a jellyfish.

Did you ever love me?

I don't remember. I don't think so. But I felt sorry for you sometimes. I feel sorry for you now. You don't have five hundred dollars, do you?

No.

You just wanted to look at me one more time.

That's right.

How much do you love me?

I love you so much.

You want to fuck me now? It's that important to you? Go ahead. See, here goes the blouse again. There. Now you can touch me. But my tits aren't hard anymore. Don't just stare at me. Look, I'm even taking off my underpants; I'm lying here spreading my goddamned legs; what else do you want? Oh, I know. You want me to tell you I love you. I'll say I love you when you're starting to come. Is there anything else you want?

No.

Well, then, are you going to do it or not?

Yes, thank you, I'll do it.

Good. Here's your rubber. Let me juice myself up.

Let me hear you practice saying I love you.

I love you I love you I love you, all right? Now hurry up.

I don't feel anything.

That's because you're not used to wearing a rubber. You're not really fucking me anymore; you're fucking a piece of latex that happens to be inside me.

That isn't what I mean.

All right. Both the guys who did me said they had AIDS. So I have AIDS. Take the rubber off and fuck me and get AIDS if that's what you want. See if I care. Here. Off it goes. Like peeling a banana. Now I'll put you back inside. How's that?

It's good.

Can you feel my death crawling inside you?

Oh, it feels so good—

You're thrusting deeper and deeper into my death. My death is in you now. Are you getting ready to come? You look like you are. I love you. This time I really mean it. I love you. I love you because you're going to die for me.