The Battered Body

TWO

James entered through the back door of his childhood home and, as he closed the door behind him, felt a whoosh of air next to his left ear as a magazine smacked against the wall.

“Watch it, Pop!” James instinctively ducked in case his father was prepared to lodge another missile his way.

“Sorry ’bout that. Didn’t realize it was near time for you to be comin’ through that door,” Jackson muttered darkly from his seat at the kitchen table. “But if I gotta look at one more flower arrangement or answer one more question about menus, tablecloths, dance music, or church programs, then Milla’s just gonna have to get married all by herself!”

After picking up the magazine from the floor, James set it on the table, smoothed the wrinkled cover, and sat down across from his father. “You don’t mean that, Pop. You love Milla.” He offered Jackson a sympathetic smile. “But I can see why you’d rather not spend your time reading this stuff.”

Jackson grunted and gestured at piles of colorful clippings illustrating wedding cakes, floral centerpieces, tuxedos, stationery, and limousines. “When your mama and I got married, we met some folks down at the church, said a word or two, and then had a little lunch back here at the house. Sandwiches and tea and beer. I wore my best suit and your mama wore a dress she borrowed from her best friend. Whole thing cost us about three hundred dollars.” He pushed the clippings away. “I still remember every second of that day. It didn’t cost much but it was real nice. It was simple and to the point and, well, pretty damned perfect.”

James nodded. “I can imagine how overwhelming all of these choices must be. Have you talked to Milla about why she wants so many… trimmings?”

“Guess her first wedding was one of those courthouse deals. Her man was being sent overseas for some kind of military training and it’s all they had time for. So now she wants the church, the party, a fancy white dress. All of it.”

“Are you worried about the cost?” James asked gently.

“Pffft, no!” Jackson waved off the suggestion. “I’d buy that woman whatever she wanted, but I think it’s right foolish to spend such a pile one day outta our lives. At our age and all-to be gettin’ trussed up like a pair of Thanksgivin’ turkeys. Never mind dancin’ or ridin’ in cars that can seat twenty and have television sets inside. It feels downright ridiculous.”

Part of James agreed with his father, but he knew better than to take sides between a couple planning their wedding.

At that moment, the bride-to-be walked through the door, her arms laden with grocery bags. James rushed forward to relieve Milla of two of the four paper sacks she carried.

“Hello, boys!” she trilled merrily. Her cheeks were flushed with the cold and her eyes glittered with their customary animation. “I am so delighted. I found the most beautiful lamb chops when I was Christmas shopping in Harrisonburg today. You two are going to eat like kings this evening!” She plopped the bags on the granite countertop, placed some milk and eggs in the fridge, and then swung around. Observing the downcast eyes of her fiancé and the manner in which James averted his glance, she asked, “Why the long faces?”

Jackson turned to his son with a rare look of appeal. James mouthed a silent “no way,” but Milla was too sharp not to notice. Pointing at the magazine photos, she took a step toward Jackson. “All right, now. ’Fess up. You’re squirmin’ like a mouse in a python’s grip with all these wedding decisions, aren’t you?”

“Well…,” Jackson began and then trailed off.

“Pop’s not stressed about the actual ceremony, Milla,” James said, still hesitant to intervene. “I think all the choices and, I don’t know, modern wedding extras are making him feel a tad overwhelmed.”

“Thank you, James,” Milla replied kindly, and then she picked up Jackson’s hand. “Darling, we don’t need to have anything fancy. I just want our wedding to be beautiful. I’d like some greenery in the church and a nice dinner with champagne for our friends afterwards. And I’d like to have you hold me in your arms for one slow dance. That’s all.”

The couple exchanged affectionate smiles. “When you put it like that, it seems an easier beast to tame. But Milla, I gotta take a break from lookin’ at these crazy bride magazines.” Jackson stood and placed the entire pile into one of the emptied food bags. “It feels downright girlie for a grown man to be readin’ about fluff and frills. Besides, I can’t even remember the last time I read the paper from end to end or watched a solid hour of game shows on TV.”

“Oh, my.” Milla’s shoulders shook with laughter. “I vow to never keep you from The Price is Right again, my love.” She began to put away the rest of the groceries. “And we don’t need to worry about the cake anymore anyway. My little sister is coming into town this weekend and she’s going to bake it for us. She also offered to bake the dinner rolls for our main meal and create a gorgeous dessert bar for our friends. Isn’t that good news?”

“Your sister? The famous one?” Jackson was clearly surprised. “I thought you two got along ’bout as well as wolves and sheep.”

“We’re not that bad!” Milla chuckled as she pulled a large mixing bowl from inside one of the lower cabinets. “I just don’t get her and she doesn’t get me, but we don’t hate each other. We’re different creatures, that’s all. Now, Wheezie, my older sister, can’t even breathe the same air as Patty. I don’t think those two have spoken a civil word in twenty years, but that’s not a tale to be told when I need to busy myself makin’ my men some succulent chops.” She added a few pinches of herbs to the heaping tablespoons of Dijon mustard settled at the bottom of the mixing bowl.

“Wheezie’s an interesting name,” James remarked.

“It’s really Louisa, but I called her Wheezie when I was a toddler and it just stuck. Oh! And speaking of names, I’ve got to remember that I’m not supposed to call my baby sister Patty anymore. It’s Paulette Martine now. The Diva of Dough.”

“Seriously?” James asked incredulously. “Even I know who that is.” He poured himself a glass of water and studied Milla’s familiar features. “We don’t have a single culinary magazine in the library that hasn’t run an article on her this year. And she wrote that cake book too, right? The one all the moms and church ladies check out so they can out-bake their friends?”

Milla spread the mustard mixture onto the surface of the lamb chops. “ The Diva of All Cake Books . I believe it’s sold a million copies by now. Patty’s been quite successful,” she added, but James thought he caught a trace of ire in Milla’s voice. “And you can stop studying me, James. I don’t look a lick like her. Never did. Wheezie and I take after our mama, but the ‘Diva’ always favored Daddy’s side of the family.”

Jackson looked troubled. Without a word, he set off for the den and James suspected he was in search of a bottle of Cutty Sark. A few minutes later, he could see that his assumption was correct. Jackson set a tumbler on the kitchen table and resumed his seat.

“Oh boy.” Milla set the oven to heat and then put her hands on her hips. “ Now what’s eating at you, Jackson? Is it Patty?”

“Call me a fool if you want, but ain’t your famous, jet-settin’ sister gonna find our little country town mighty dull?” And beneath his breath his muttered, “And the man you’re gonna get hitched to?”

“But Quincy’s Gap is absolutely charming!” Milla declared defensively. “And Pat-Paulette said she’s looking forward to some time away from her busy celebrity life. She says she gets no privacy and is looking forward to slowin’ down some.” Milla retrieved a plump tomato and a small cucumber from the fridge, wiped her hands on the dishtowel, and then knelt down beside Jackson. Taking his hands in hers, she looked up at him with one of her illuminating smiles. “This is my chance to reconnect with my sister, dear, and that means so much to me. We’re not getting any younger and our time on this earth is best spent with those we love. If you and James and I all welcome my sister with open arms, I know she’ll come to adore our town and the man I chose to marry.” She turned moist eyes upon James. “Will you both help me to make her feel at home?”

“Of course,” James responded on behalf of himself and his father.

Satisfied, Milla commenced chopping the cucumber at breakneck speed into paper-thin slices. James never grew tired of watching her work her magic in the kitchen. He had first met her when he and the other supper club members had enrolled in one of her cooking classes and had been impressed with her ability to teach others some of the tricks of her trade, but he never imagined that Jackson would fall in love with her. James was thrilled that his father had someone in his life, for Jackson had inched out of his shell more and more with each day spent in Milla’s company. The only negative about his father’s engagement was that Milla cooked for the Henry men every night and James had had a difficult time exercising away the results of Milla’s rich meals. Rubbing a hand across his soft belly, he resolved to be stricter with his diet once he lived on his own.

“James?” Milla glanced up briefly as she made a quick salad dressing using tomato juice, balsamic vinegar, an envelope of Italian salad dressing mix, and a spoonful of sugar. “I wanted to ask you for a big favor.”

“There’s no sayin’ no to a bride-to-be.” Jackson smirked and took a sip of Cutty Sark.

James ignored his father. “Sure, Milla. What is it?”

“Would you mind picking up Paulette from the airport this Saturday? Jackson and I have some wedding errands to run, and we’ve got to buy more canvases too. His paintings are simply flying out of that D.C. gallery.” She rubbed Jackson affectionately on the shoulder.

“I’m happy to help,” James answered.

Milla rubbed a cucumber slice between her fingertips. “There’s just one catch about this favor. Actually, two catches.”

James raised his eyebrows. “And they are?”

“My sister would only fly to Dulles so your trip is going to take half the day, what with going there and back. The other issue is that…” Milla wound the dishtowel around her hand as she tried to find the right words. “Paulette can be a tad prickly, especially around strangers.”

“Imagine that, bein’ that she calls herself a diva and all,” Jackson grumbled.

“She could always rent a car if you’re busy,” Milla hurriedly backtracked. “It’s just that it would be awfully expensive from Dulles to my house and she’s already incurring enough expense to fly here and make all this food for us. I’d at least like her to be driven by a friendly, trustworthy, and kind-hearted person. No one fits that description better than you, my dear.”

As Milla spoke, Jackson began to sort through the mail. James could see the familiar graphics of the postcard announcing Murphy’s book peeking out from beneath Jackson’s Reader’s Digest.

Lunging forward, James snatched up the postcard, stuffed it into the pocket of his pants, and, imbalanced, fell against Milla with his arms outstretched. He turned the awkward movement into a hug and announced, “I’d do anything for you, Milla.”

“Thank you, James.” She squeezed him gratefully. “Her flight comes in at ten, so running to the airport won’t interfere with the Christmas Cavalcade. I know you and your friends have plans to watch it Saturday night. I’ve gotten too old to stand out in the cold, even though I love all those lights and how excited the kids get.” Milla pushed gently on James’s arms. “Now let go of me, honey, so I can get those chops into the oven.”

As he climbed the stairs to change from his work khakis into jeans, James heard Milla say, “Jackson, I just love that boy of yours.”

“He’s all right most of the time,” Jackson huffed. “But now he’s gone and crumpled both my Reader’s Digest and my Star Ledger.”

Shaking his head at his father’s customary gruffness, James continued down the hall to the room he had occupied since the day his parents had brought him home from the hospital. Kicking his shoes off, he laid back on his bed and picked up Pillars of the Earth, a book he made a point of rereading every five years or so. Before he could get too absorbed in Follett’s prose, he heard Jackson roughly shake a newspaper page and exclaim, “Look here, Milla! If my eyes are workin’ right, James’s ole girlfriend has gone and written a book about our town. And it’s one of them murder mysteries. Look at this mess of blood on the cover.”

James covered his face with Follett’s novel, hoping to block the image of Murphy’s book cover.

“Oh, dear!” Milla stated woefully after a few moments of silence. “It says in this article that one of the characters is an intelligent, overweight librarian. I sure hope that librarian isn’t our own sweet James.”

“I bet it is. That boy attracts trouble like a bear to a honeycomb.” Jackson shook his head. “Too bad he can’t sleep away the winter. He might have finally found a book that he’ll wanna ban from his library.”

James woke up at seven o’clock Saturday morning and stumbled downstairs for some coffee. Jackson had already consumed half the pot and was most likely out in his shed, working on a new painting. He would expect breakfast before James departed for the airport, but luckily Milla had a sausage and cheese casserole in the freezer that only required defrosting. After turning the oven on, James finished his first cup of coffee, took a warm shower, and dressed in a gray wool sweater and a pair of jeans. He then threw on his coat and walked out to the shed, his breath puffing from his mouth like smoke from a steam engine.

“I’m coming in!” James shouted as he knocked twice on the shed door. He opened it just in time to see Jackson throw a drop cloth over his latest work.

“Isn’t that going to smudge the paint?” James asked in concern.

Jackson waved a dry brush near James’s face. “Ain’t no paint on there yet.”

“Well, come on in and get some breakfast casserole. That’ll get your creative juices flowing.”

Jackson frowned. “My juices are just fine. I decided that I’m gonna paint Milla’s sister. Only problem is I don’t know what a diva’s hands look like close up, so I gotta wait to see her in the flesh, while she’s makin’ one of her famous cakes.”

James checked his watch. “Well, shortly after lunchtime you’ll have a celebrity in your life.”

“That’ll make two of them, then, if I’m includin’ you,” Jackson murmured as he closed the shed door.

“What’s that, Pop?” James asked.

“Nothin’. You’d best get goin’. There’s gonna be a snow today, and them mountain roads are gonna be a mess. The state’s not prepared for an early snow. I know that for a fact ’cause the mayor said they weren’t loadin’ the trucks up with sand ’til after Christmas.”

Glancing up at the scattering of thin clouds in an otherwise blue sky, James eyed his father in disbelief. “You think we’re getting snow today?”

“ I don’t need to think. I know ’cause that hound down the road hollered at the moon all night long. That mutt’s been alive for twenty years, and every time he sets up that kinda racket durin’ a cold night, we get snow the next day. And not some dustin’ either. We’ll get ’least an inch.” Jackson shook his head, his mouth forming a fractional grin. “Damn dog’s never been wrong once.”

“Amazing.” James decided to humor his father. “I’d better hit the road then, Pop. I just hope Paulette’s flight beats out the storm.”

After filling a travel mug with coffee, James headed north toward Washington-Dulles. Milla had left her sister’s flight information on the kitchen table along with a note warning that Paulette might not be traveling alone. James tossed the paper on the Bronco’s passenger seat, cranked up the heat, popped in the latest Clive Cussler audio book, and spent the next two hours contentedly lost in one of Dirk Pitt’s grandiose adventures.

Five miles away from the airport, James began to wish he possessed even the smallest amount of Pitt’s inventiveness and daring. If so, he might have discovered a way to circumvent the stand-still traffic looming ahead. After spending ten agonizing minutes bathed in the spotlight of a blinking arrow sign set up by the Virginia Department of Transportation, James knew that he was going to be late fetching Paulette.

Over the next thirty minutes, the traffic inched forward as three lanes were forced to converge into one. James tried to ignore the forward progression of his clock radio as he craned his neck to see if there was any end to the clogged roadway.

“This is where a high-tech guy would be searching for alternative routes on his GPS system,” he muttered and switched off the audio book. He couldn’t concentrate on Dirk’s romantic interlude and was suddenly irritated by the fact that Cussler’s hero had been shot three times but still had no difficulty in scaling a cliff or scooping a hundred-and-twenty-pound woman into his arms and carrying her up seven flights of stairs.

As James’s anxiety mounted, he longed for something to chew on, but all he had stored within the center console was a blue and purple candy cane presented to him by the Salvation Army volunteer outside of the grocery store. Peeling back the wrapper, James sniffed the candy cane suspiciously.

“What happened to red and white?” he demanded of the confection, and then he took a small bite. He tasted sugared blueberries and tart raspberries coated beneath of smooth layer of cream. The sweetness immediately alleviated some of his tension, but when he pulled up to the curb outside of the Continental Airlines gate and saw a woman in her late sixties with a blunt cut of snow-white hair pacing angrily back and forth while hollering into her cell phone, his agitation was renewed.

James slammed the Bronco into park, leapt from the car, and waved at Paulette. He recognized her immediately because Milla had informed him that Paulette closely resembled Meryl Streep’s character in the movie The Devil Wears Prada . The displeased woman surrounded by a small mountain of Louis Vuitton luggage had a slim figure, well-tailored clothing, and a pair of narrowed, angry eyes.

“Paulette?” James extended his hand as the older woman snapped her phone closed and bared a row of white but rather pointy teeth.

“Where the hell have you been?” she snarled at James. “I have been standing outside for fifteen minutes.” She gestured at her shoes. “Do these heels look comfortable to you?”

James didn’t know whether he was more surprised by her hostile tone or the fact that Milla’s sister wore black stiletto boots and was enveloped in what appeared to be a fox-hair fur coat. As she swiveled to bark orders at a pale, reed-thin young woman with slumped shoulders and white-blonde hair, James noticed a rather flattened fox head on Paulette’s left shoulder and a bushy tail draped across her right.

“Willow!” Paulette shouted. “Get the luggage into this heap with wheels and let’s get going! The pollution from the jet fuel is going to clog my pores! My hair is already a wreck from standing out here. I hope no one of significance recognizes me!” And with that, the Diva of Dough wrenched open the Bronco’s rear door and settled herself inside.

James turned to the young woman, his mouth agape. “Is she for real?”

“’Fraid so. I’m Willow Singletary, Ms. Martine’s assistant.” She smiled weakly. “Don’t take her personally. She always gets strung out when she travels. She thinks New York City is the center of the world, and that the second she leaves it, she’ll be forced to live in a mud hut and scavenge for her own food.” She picked up two suitcases and shuffled toward the truck. With a lowered voice, she added, “She doesn’t get much better than this though. It’s why I go through two packs of cigarettes a day.”

Relieved that there would be at least one friendly passenger in his truck, James helped Willow load the enormous suitcases into his Bronco. From her position in the back seat, Paulette directed the stacking of her luggage and then, apparently satisfied that everything had been stowed to her specifications, opened her cell phone and began to discuss future television show ideas with her producer. Her loud and animated chatter lasted for over an hour and a half. Unused to such a consistent barrage of noise, James stole glances at Paulette in the rearview mirror and longed to drown out her nasal voice with a dose of Clive Cussler.

Eventually, James began to make quiet small-talk with Willow and learned that she had been Paulette’s assistant for the past three years and that her job requirements included, but were not limited to, seeing to the Diva’s travel arrangements, answering fan mail, editing her cookbooks, handling all the personal phone calls Paulette deemed unimportant, and fetching her non-fat, no foam vanilla lattes from Starbucks whenever the Diva required a caffeine fix.

Willow leaned toward James and muttered softly, “Though these days she prefers the eggnog lattes. The Diva’s a total eggnog junkie.”

“Wow,” James whispered and said a silent prayer of gratitude for the wonderful job he held. “I hope you get paid a lot for all you do.”

“For being a slave, you mean?” Willow murmured lowly and then uttered a humorless laugh. “I haven’t had a raise since I started, but I’m planning to ask for one on this trip. After all, weddings are supposed to bring out the best in people.”

James had no idea whether Willow was being sarcastic or not, but he didn’t have the opportunity to ask her as a few miles north of the town of Battle Creek, Paulette shoved her phone into a purse large enough to contain a small goat and inquired sharply, “Is there some logical explanation for your indigo tongue?”

“I ate a blue candy cane on the way to the airport,” James answered somewhat sheepishly, and then, as he met Paulette’s judgmental stare in the rearview mirror, his embarrassment quickly morphed into irritation. “The Charlottesville airport is much closer than Dulles. You could have saved a lot of time by flying in there.”

“And subject myself to one of those tin cans with wings the airlines call ‘sky buses’? Never! Those things are death traps!” The Diva removed a compact from her purse and touched up her flawless makeup. “Are we almost there? This vehicle is most uncomfortable.”

James rubbed his steering wheel with tenderness as though to ward off Paulette’s last remark.

As the Bronco climbed a steep hill, Willow whistled at the sight of a dramatic slope covered in green-topped pine trees and leafless hardwoods. “I bet this looks lovely in the snow,” she said.

“The Shenandoah Valley is the most beautiful place on earth,” James bragged. “I’d rather be here than on a beach in Hawaii or some café in Paris.”

Paulette snorted. “As if you’d know what a Parisian café is like. I went to culinary school there and the dirtiest alley in France has more grandeur than these puny, blue hills. Oh, how I detest the country! How on earth could my sister be living in such a state of crudeness?”

Annoyed beyond measure, James switched on the radio. “Jingle Bells” played merrily through the speakers as the Bronco moved rapidly through the town of Grove Hill. Most of the towns along the highway could be driven through in the time it took one to sing the chorus from “Jingle Bells,” but James was tempted to pick up speed in order to shorten the amount of time he was forced to spend with the Diva.

“Is your town like all these others?” Paulette inquired with a trace of anxiety. “I haven’t seen a single Starbucks, let alone a decent hotel or restaurant.” She leaned forward and poked Willow in the shoulder. “I told you we should have had cooking supplies FedExed down here. How am I supposed to make my sister’s wedding cake using materials from a store called Food Lion?”

James couldn’t take it any longer. “We’re actually still usin’ the barter system ’round these parts,” he drawled. “But I’m right sure you could find something to trade for a dozen eggs and some fresh-milled flour. Someone might fancy that fur coat of yours. Now, sugar’s mighty dear, what with the war and all. And I sure hope you brought your own toilet paper for the outhouse.”

“Very droll, young man,” Paulette replied acerbically, but James thought he caught a glimmer of amusement in her cool, gray eyes.

Having been instructed to take Paulette directly to the only inn near Quincy’s Gap, a quaint bed-and-breakfast called the Widow’s Peak, James was greatly relieved when he turned off the main road and made the steady but gentle climb up the winding driveway to the front of the restored 1800s farmhouse.

“Oh my,” Paulette muttered as James turned off the engine. “Willow, you’d better have bought out all the rooms for the next two weeks. I don’t want to have our work interrupted by couples on romantic getaways or those bed-and-breakfast junkies that actually seek out these sorts of establishments. Also, I was assured that we could have full use of the kitchen. Make sure they’re aware that I will not stand for any interruptions when I’m baking, no matter what time it is.” After a moment’s pause, the Diva of Dough sharply chided, “Why are you still standing there, you fool of a girl! No wonder you can’t find yourself a husband. You’re as slow and stupid as a particular member of the bovine kingdom. Get going!”

After Willow scurried away, James marched to the rear of the Bronco, opened the door with an angry jerk, and blocked Paulette’s exit from his truck. “Ms. Martine, your sister is about to marry my father and for that reason, and that reason alone, I’m going to be as cordial to you as possible, no matter how you act in return. However, people in this part of the country are polite to one another as a rule, and no one’s going to be willing to accept the kind of treatment your assistant does.”

Paulette smiled a slow, deliberate smile. “But that’s exactly why I employ Willow. She’ll put up with anything, especially since I caught her…” She trailed off, straightened the fox head on her shoulder, and then said, “I’m weary, so do excuse me…” And without a thank-you or goodbye, the Diva of Dough strode into the inn as though she were the Queen of England.

From the safety of his Bronco, James frowned as he watched her walk away. It was going to be a long two weeks with Paulette Martine in residence only a few scant miles down the road from the Henry home. Sighing over the certain loss of the harmonious existence he had enjoyed prior to the disappearance of Glowstar, the news of Murphy’s book release, and the arrival of the Diva of Dough, he turned the key in the ignition. As the Bronco eased back down the driveway, James glanced at the sky, which was thick with heavy pewter-colored clouds. The bank of clouds seemed to close in around the surrounding mountains and James was seized by an uneasy, claustrophobic feeling.

“Pop was right. It is going to snow. This sky does not bode well for the Christmas Cavalcade tonight,” he murmured to himself as he headed north toward home.

But if it snows really hard, he thought with a sudden surge of hopefulness, Paulette might be forced to stay inside the inn for a few days.

“In that case,” he said with a sympathetic chuckle, “God help those innkeepers.”