The Best American Mystery Stories 2001

Bill Pronzini The Big Bite

From The Shamus Game

I laid a red queen on a black king, glanced up at Jay Cohalan through the open door of his office. He was pacing again, back and forth in front of his desk, his hands in constant restless motion at his sides. The office was carpeted: his footfalls made no sound. There was no discernible sound anywhere except for the faint snap and slap when I turned over a card and put it down. An office building at night is one of the quietest places there is. Eerily so, if you spend enough time listening to the silence.

Trey. Nine of diamonds. Deuce. Jack of spades. I was marrying the jack to the red queen when Cohalan quit pacing and came over to stand in the doorway. He watched me for a time, his hands still doing scoop-shovel maneuvers — a big man in his late thirties, handsome except for a weak chin, a little sweaty and disheveled now.

“How can you just sit there playing cards?” he said.

There were several answers to that. Years of stakeouts and dull routine. We’d been waiting only about two hours. The money, fifty thousand in fifties and hundreds, didn’t belong to me. I wasn’t worried, upset, or afraid that something might go wrong. I passed on all of those and settled instead for a neutral response: “Solitaire’s good for waiting. Keeps your mind off the clock.”

“It’s after seven. Why the hell doesn’t he call?”

“You know the answer to that. He wants you to sweat.”

“Sadistic bastard.”

“Blackmail’s that kind of game,” I said. “Torture the victim, bend his will to yours.”

“Game. My God.” Cohalan came out into the anteroom and began to pace in front of his secretary’s desk, where I was sitting. “It’s driving me crazy, trying to figure out who he is, how he found out about my past. Not a hint, any of the times I talked to him. But he knows everything, every damn detail.”

“You’ll have the answers before long.”

“Yeah.” He stopped abruptly, leaned toward me.

“Listen, this has to be the end of it. You’ve got to stay with him, see to it he’s arrested. I can’t take any more.”

“I’ll do my job. Mr. Cohalan, don’t worry.”

“Fifty thousand dollars. I almost had a heart attack when he told me that was how much he wanted this time. The last payment, he said. What a crock. He’ll come back for more someday. I know it, Carolyn knows it, you know it.” Pacing again. “Poor Carolyn. High-strung, emotional… it’s been even harder on her. She wanted me to go to the police this time, did I tell you that?”

“You told me.”

“I should have, I guess. Now I’ve got to pay a middleman for what I could’ve had for nothing… no offense.”

“None taken.”

“I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, walk into the Hall of Justice and confess everything to a cop. It was hard enough letting Carolyn talk me into hiring a private detective. That trouble when I was a kid… it’s a criminal offense, I could still be prosecuted for it. And it’s liable to cost me my job if it comes out. I went through hell telling Carolyn in the beginning, and I didn’t go into all the sordid details. With you, either. The police… no. I know that bastard will probably spill the whole story when he’s arrested, try to drag me down with him, but still… I keep hoping he won’t. You understand?”

“I understand,” I said.

“I shouldn’t’ve paid him when he crawled out of the woodwork eight months ago. I know that now. But back then it seemed like the only way to keep from ruining my life. Carolyn thought so, too. If I hadn’t started paying him, half of her inheritance wouldn’t already be gone…” He let the rest of it trail off, paced in bitter silence for a time, and started up again. “I hated taking money from her — hated it, no matter how much she insisted it belongs to both of us. And I hate myself for doing it, almost as much as I hate him. Blackmail’s the worst goddamn crime there is short of murder.”

“Not the worst,” I said, “but bad enough.”

“This has to be the end of it. The fifty thousand in there… it’s the last of her inheritance, our savings. If that son of a bitch gets away with it, we’ll be wiped out. You can’t let that happen.”

I didn’t say anything. We’d been through all this before, more than once.

Cohalan let the silence resettle. Then, as I shuffled the cards for a new hand, “This job of mine, you’d think it pays pretty well, wouldn’t you? My own office, secretary, executive title, expense account… looks good and sounds good, but it’s a frigging dead end. Junior account executive stuck in corporate middle management — that’s all I am or ever will be. Sixty thousand a year gross. And Carolyn makes twenty-five teaching. Eighty-five thousand for two people, no kids, that seems like plenty but it’s not, not these days. Taxes, high cost of living, you have to scrimp to put anything away. And then some stupid mistake you made when you were a kid comes back to haunt you, drains your future along with your bank account, preys on your mind so you can’t sleep, can barely do your work… you see what I mean? But I didn’t think I had a choice at first, I was afraid of losing this crappy job, going to prison. Caught between a rock and a hard place. I still feel that way, but now I don’t care, I just want that scum to get what’s coming to him…”

Repetitious babbling caused by his anxiety. His mouth had a wet look and his eyes kept jumping from me to other points in the room.

I said, “Why don’t you sit down?”

“I can’t sit. My nerves are shot.”

“Take a few deep breaths before you start to hyperventilate.”

“Listen, don’t tell me what—”

The telephone on his desk went off.

The sudden clamor jerked him half around, as if with an electric shock. In the quiet that followed the first ring I could hear the harsh rasp of his breathing. He looked back at me as the bell sounded again. I was on my feet, too, by then.

I said, “Go ahead, answer it. Keep your head.”

He went into his office, picked up just after the third ring. I timed the lifting of the extension to coincide so there wouldn’t be a second click on the open line.

“Yes,” he said, “Cohalan.”

“You know who this is.” The voice was harsh, muffled, indistinctively male. “You got the fifty thousand?”

“I told you I would. The last payment, you promised me…”

“Yeah, the last one.”

“Where this time?”

“Golden Gate Park. Kennedy Drive, in front of the buffalo pen. Put it in the trash barrel beside the bench there.”

Cohalan was watching me through the open doorway. I shook my head at him. He said into the phone, “Can’t we make it someplace else? There might be people around…”

“Not at nine P.M.”

“Nine? But it’s only a little after seven now—”

“Nine sharp. Be there with the cash.”

The line went dead.

I cradled the extension. Cohalan was still standing alongside his desk, hanging onto the receiver the way a drowning man might hang onto a lifeline, when I went into his office. I said, “Put it down, Mr. Cohalan.”

“What? Oh, yes…” He lowered the receiver. “Christ,” he said then.

“You all right?”

His head bobbed up and down a couple of times. He ran a hand over his face and then swung away to where his briefcase lay. The fifty thousand was in there; he’d shown it to me when I first arrived. He picked the case up, set it down again. Rubbed his face another time.

“Maybe I shouldn’t risk the money,” he said.

He wasn’t talking to me so I didn’t answer.

“I could leave it right here where it’ll be safe. Put a phone book or something in for weight.” He sank into his desk chair, popped up again like a jack-in-the-box. He was wired so tight I could almost hear him humming. “No, what’s the matter with me? That won’t work. I’m not thinking straight. He might open the case in the park. There’s no telling what he’d do if the money’s not there. And he’s got to have it in his possession when the police come.”

“That’s why I insisted we mark some of the bills.”

“Yes, right, I remember. Proof of extortion. All right, but for God’s sake don’t let him get away with it.”

“He won’t get away with it.”

Another jerky nod. “When’re you leaving?”

“Right now. You stay put until at least eight-thirty. It won’t take you more than twenty minutes to get out to the park.”

“I’m not sure I can get through another hour of waiting around here.”

“Keep telling yourself it’ll be over soon. Calm down. The state you’re in now, you shouldn’t even be behind the wheel.”

“I’ll be OK.”

“Come straight back here after you make the drop. You’ll hear from me as soon as I have anything to report.”

“Just don’t make me wait too long,” Cohalan said. And then, again and to himself, “I’ll be OK.”

Cohalan’s office building was on Kearney, not far from where Kerry works at the Bates and Carpenter ad agency on lower Geary. She was on my mind as I drove down to Geary and turned west toward the park: my thoughts prompted me to lift the car phone and call the condo. No answer. Like me, she puts in a lot of overtime night work. A wonder we manage to spend as much time together as we do.

I tried her private number at B & C and got her voice mail. In transit probably, the same as I was. Headlights crossing the dark city. Urban night riders. Except that she was going home and I was on my way to nail a shakedown artist for a paying client.

That started me thinking about the kind of work I do. One of the downsides of urban night riding is that it gives vent to sometimes broody self-analysis. Skip traces, insurance claims investigations, employee background checks — they’re the meat of my business. There used to be some challenge to jobs like that, some creative maneuvering required, but nowadays it’s little more than routine legwork (mine) and a lot of computer time (Tamara Corbin, my techno-whiz assistant). I don’t get to use my head as much as I once did. My problem, in Tamara’s Generation X opinion, was that I was a “retro dick” pining away for the old days and old ways. True enough; I never have adapted well to change. The detective racket just isn’t as satisfying or stimulating after thirty-plus years and with a new set of rules.

Every now and then, though, a case comes along that stirs the juices — one with some spark and sizzle and a much higher satisfaction level than the run-of-the-mill stuff. I live for cases like that; they’re what keep me from packing it in, taking an early retirement. They usually involve a felony of some sort, and sometimes a whisper if not a shout of danger, and allow me to use my full complement of functional brain cells. This Cohalan case, for instance. This one I liked, because shakedown artists are high on my list of worthless lowlifes and I enjoy hell out of taking one down.

Yeah, this one I liked a whole lot.

Golden Gate Park has plenty of daytime attractions — museums, tiny lakes, rolling lawns, windmills, an arboretum — but on a foggy November night it’s a mostly empty dark place to pass through on your way to somewhere else. Mostly empty because it does have its night denizens: homeless squatters, not all of whom are harmless or drug-free, and predators on the prowl in its sprawling acres of shadows and nightshapes. On a night like this it also has an atmosphere of lonely isolation, the fog hiding the city lights and turning street lamps and passing headlights into surreal blurs.

The buffalo enclosure is at the westward end, less than a mile from the ocean — the least-traveled section of the park at night. There were no cars in the vicinity, moving or parked, when I came down Kennedy Drive. My lights picked out the fence on the north side, the rolling pastureland beyond; the trash barrel and bench were about halfway along, at the edge of the bicycle path that parallels the road. I drove past there, looking for a place to park and wait. I didn’t want to sit on Kennedy; a lone car close to the drop point would be too conspicuous. I had to do this right. If anything did not seem kosher, the whole thing might fail to go off the way it was supposed to.

The perfect spot came up fifty yards or so from the trash barrel, opposite the buffaloes’ feeding corral — a narrow road that leads to Anglers Lodge, where the city maintains casting pools for fly fishermen to practice on. Nobody was likely to go up there at night, and trees and shrubbery bordered one side, the shadows in close to them thick and clotted. Kennedy Drive was still empty in both directions; I cut in past the Anglers Lodge sign and drove up the road until I found a place where I could turn around. Then I shut off my lights, made the U-turn, and coasted back down into the heavy shadows. From there I could see the drop point clearly enough, even with the low-riding fog. I shut off the engine, slumped down on the seat with my back against the door.

No detective, public or private, likes stakeouts. Dull, boring, dead time that can be a literal pain in the ass if it goes on long enough. This one wasn’t too bad because it was short, only about an hour, but time lagged and crawled just the same. Now and then a car drifted by, its lights reflecting off rather than boring through the wall of mist. The ones heading west might have been able to see my car briefly in dark silhouette as they passed, but none of them happened to be a police patrol and nobody else was curious enough or venal enough to stop and investigate.

The luminous dial on my watch showed five minutes to nine when Cohalan arrived. Predictably early because he was so anxious to get it over with. He came down Kennedy too fast for the conditions; I heard the squeal of brakes as he swung over and rocked to a stop near the trash barrel. I watched the shape of him get out and run across the path to make the drop and then run back. Ten seconds later his car hissed past where I was hidden, again going too fast, and was gone.

Nine o’clock.

Nine oh five.

Nine oh eight.

Headlights probed past, this set heading east, the car low-slung and smallish. It rolled along slowly until it was opposite the barrel, then veered sharply across the road and slid to a crooked stop with its brake lights flashing blood red. I sat up straighter, put my hand on the ignition key. The door opened without a light coming on inside, and the driver jumped out in a hurry, bulky and indistinct in a heavy coat and some kind of head covering; ran to the barrel, scooped out the briefcase, raced back and hurled it inside; hopped in after it and took off. Fast, even faster than Cohalan had been driving, the car’s rear end fishtailing a little as the tires fought for traction on the slick pavement.

I was out on Kennedy and in pursuit within seconds. No way I could drive in the fog-laden darkness without putting on my lights, and in the far reach of the beams I could see the other car a hundred yards or so ahead. But even when I accelerated I couldn’t get close enough to read the license plate.

Where the drive forks on the east end of the buffalo enclosure, the sports job made a tight-angle left turn, brake lights flashing again, headlights yawing as the driver fought for control. Looping around Spreckels Lake to quit the park on 36th Avenue. I took the turn at about half the speed, but I still had it in sight when it made a sliding right through a red light on Fulton, narrowly missing an oncoming car, and disappeared to the east. I wasn’t even trying to keep up any longer. If I continued pursuit, somebody — an innocent party — was liable to get hurt or killed. That was the last thing I wanted to happen. High-speed car chases are for damn fools and the makers of trite Hollywood films.

I pulled over near the Fulton intersection, still inside the park, and used the car phone to call my client.

Cohalan threw a fit when I told him what had happened. He called me all kinds of names, the least offensive of which was “incompetent idiot.” I just let him rant. There were no excuses to be made and no point in wasting my own breath.

He ran out of abuse finally and segued into lament. “What am I going to do now? What am I going to tell Carolyn? All our savings gone and I still don’t have any idea who that blackmailing bastard is. What if he comes back for more? We couldn’t even sell the house, there’s hardly any equity…”

Pretty soon he ran down there, too. I waited through about five seconds of dead air. Then, “All right,” followed by a heavy sigh. “But don’t expect me to pay your bill. You can damn well sue me and you can’t get blood out of a turnip.” And he banged the receiver in my ear.

Some Cohalan. Some piece of work.

The apartment building was on Locust Street a half block off California, close to the Presidio. Built in the twenties, judging by its ornate facade, once somebody’s modestly affluent private home, long ago cut up into three floors of studios and one-bedroom apartments. It had no garage, forcing its tenants — like most of those in the neighborhood buildings — into street parking. There wasn’t a legal space to be had on that block, or in the next, or anywhere in the vicinity. Back on California, I slotted my car into a bus zone. If I got a ticket I got a ticket.

Not much chance I’d need a weapon for the rest of it, but sometimes trouble comes when you least expect it. So I unclipped the.38 Colt Bodyguard from under the dash, slipped it into my coat pocket before I got out for the walk down Locust.

The building had a tiny foyer with the usual bank of mailboxes. I found the button for 2-C, leaned on it. This was the ticklish part; I was banking on the fact that one voice sounds pretty much like another over an intercom. Turned out not to be an issue at all: the squawk box stayed silent and the door release buzzed instead, almost immediately. Confident. Arrogant. Or just plain stupid.

I pushed inside, smiling a little, cynically, and climbed the stairs to the second floor. The first apartment on the right was 2-C. The door opened just as I got to it, and Annette Byers put her head out and said with excitement in her voice, “You made really good—”

The rest of it snapped off when she got a look at me; the excitement gave way to confusion, froze her in the half-open doorway. I had time to move up on her, wedge my shoulder against the door before she could decide to jump back and slam it in my face. She let out a little bleat and tried to kick me as I crowded her inside. I caught her arms, gave her a shove to get clear of her. Then I nudged the door closed with my heel.

“I’ll start screaming,” she said. Shaky bravado, the kind without anything to back it up. Her eyes were frightened now. “These walls are paper thin, and I’ve got a neighbor who’s a cop.”

That last part was a lie. I said, “Go ahead. Be my guest.”

“Who the hell do you think you are—”

“We both know who I am, Ms. Byers. And why I’m here. The reason’s on the table over there.”

In spite of herself she glanced to her left. The apartment was a studio, and the kitchenette and dining area were over that way. The briefcase sat on the dinette table, its lid raised. I couldn’t see inside from where I was, but then I didn’t need to.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said.

She hadn’t been back long; she still wore the heavy coat and the head covering, a wool stocking cap that completely hid her blond hair. Her cheeks were flushed — the cold night, money lust, now fear. She was attractive enough in a too-ripe way, intelligent enough to hold down a job with a downtown travel service, and immoral enough to have been in trouble with the San Francisco police before this. She was twenty-three, divorced, and evidently a crank-head: she’d been arrested once for possession and once for trying to sell a small quantity of methamphetamine to an undercover cop.

“Counting the cash, right?” I said.

“… What?”

“What you were doing when I rang the bell. Fifty thousand in fifties and hundreds. It’s all there, according to plan.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You said that already.”

I moved a little to get a better scan of the studio. Her phone was on a breakfast bar that separated the kitchenette from the living room, one of those cordless types with a built-in answering machine. The gadget beside it was clearly a portable cassette player. She hadn’t bothered to put it away before she went out; there’d been no reason to, or so she’d have thought then. The tape would still be inside.

I looked at her again. “I’ve got to admit, you’re a pretty good driver. Reckless as hell, though, the way you went flying out of the park on a red light. You came close to a collision with another car.”

“I don’t know what—” She broke off and backed away a couple of paces, her hand rubbing the side of her face, her tongue making little flicks between her lips. It was sinking in now, how it had all gone wrong, how much trouble she was in. “You couldn’t have followed me. I know you didn’t.”

“That’s right, I couldn’t and I didn’t.”

“Then how—?”

“Think about it. You’ll figure it out.”

A little silence. And, “Oh God, you knew about me all along.”

“About you, the plan, everything.”

“How? How could you? I don’t—”

The downstairs bell made a sudden racket.

Her gaze jerked past me toward the intercom unit next to the door. She sucked in her lower lip, began to gnaw on it.

“You know who it is,” I said. “Don’t use the intercom, just the door release.”

She did what I told her, moving slowly. I went the other way, first to the breakfast bar, where I popped the tape out of the cassette player and slipped it into my pocket, then to the dinette table. I lowered the lid on the briefcase, snapped the catches. I had the case in my hand when she turned to face me again.

She said, “What are you going to do with the money?”

“Give it back to its rightful owner.”

“Jay. It belongs to him.”

I didn’t say anything to that.

“You better not try to keep it for yourself,” she said. “You don’t have any right to that money…”

“You dumb kid,” I said disgustedly, “neither do you.”

She quit looking at me. When she started to open the door I told her no, wait for his knock. She stood with her back to me, shoulders hunched. She was no longer afraid; dull resignation had taken over. For her, I thought, the money was the only thing that had ever mattered.

Knuckles rapped on the door. She opened it without any hesitation, and he blew in, talking fast the way he did when he was keyed up. “Oh, baby, baby, we did it, we pulled it off,” and he grabbed her and started to pull her against him. That was when he saw me.

“Hello, Cohalan,” I said.

He went rigid for three or four seconds, his eyes popped wide, then disentangled himself from the woman and stood gawping at me. His mouth worked but nothing came out. Manic as hell in his office, all nerves and talking a blue streak, but now he was speechless. Lies were easy for him; the truth would have to be dragged out.

I told him to close the door. He did it, automatically, and turned snarling on Annette Byers. “You let him follow you home!”

“I didn’t,” she said. “He already knew about me. He knows everything.”

“No, you’re lying…”

“You were so goddamn smart, you had it all figured out. You didn’t fool him for a minute.”

“Shut up.” His eyes shifted to me. “Don’t listen to her. She’s the one who’s been blackmailing me—”

“Knock it off, Cohalan,” I said. “Nobody’s been blackmailing you. You’re the shakedown artist here, you and Annette — a fancy little scheme to get your wife’s money. You couldn’t just grab the whole bundle from her, and you couldn’t get any of it by divorcing her — a spouse’s inheritance isn’t community property in this state. So you cooked up the phony blackmail scam. What were the two of you planning to do with the full hundred thousand? Run off somewhere together? Buy a load of crank for resale, try for an even bigger score?”

“You see?” Annette Byers said bitterly. “You see, smart guy? He knows everything.”

Cohalan shook his head. He’d gotten over his initial shock; now he looked stricken, and his nerves were acting up again. His hands had begun repeating that scoop-shovel trick at his sides. “You believed me, I know you did.”

“Wrong,” I said. “I didn’t believe you. I’m a better actor than you, is all. Your story didn’t sound right from the first. Too elaborate, full of improbabilities. Fifty thousand is too big a blackmail bite for any crime short of homicide, and you swore to me — your wife, too — you weren’t guilty of a major felony. Blackmailers seldom work in big bites anyway. They bleed their victims slow and steady, in small bites, to keep them from throwing the hook. We just didn’t believe it, either of us.”

“We? Jesus, you mean… you and Carolyn…?”

“That’s right. Your wife’s my client, Cohalan, not you — that’s why I never asked you for a retainer. She showed up at my office right after you did the first time; if she hadn’t, I’d probably have gone to her. She’d been suspicious all along, but she gave you the benefit of the doubt until you hit her with the fifty-thousand-dollar bite. She figured you might be having an affair, too, and it didn’t take me long to find out about Annette. You never had any idea you were being followed, did you? Once I knew about her, it was easy enough to put the rest of it together, including the funny business with the money drop tonight. And here we are.”

“Damn you,” he said, but there was no heat in the words. “You and that frigid bitch both.”

He wasn’t talking about Annette Byers, but she took the opportunity to dig into him again. “Smart guy. Big genius. I told you to just take the money and we’d run with it, didn’t I?”

“Shut up.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up, you son of—”

“Don’t say it. I’ll slap you silly if you say it.”

“You won’t slap anybody,” I said. “Not as long as I’m around.”

He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his jacket. “What’re you going to do?”

“What do you think I’m going to do?”

“You can’t go to the police. You don’t have any proof, it’s your word against ours.”

“Wrong again.” I showed him the voice-activated recorder I’d had hidden in my pocket all evening. High-tech, state-of-the-art equipment, courtesy of George Agonistes, fellow P.I. and electronics expert. “Everything that was said in your office and in this room tonight is on here. I’ve also got the cassette tape Annette played when she called earlier. Voice prints will prove the muffled voice on it is yours, that you were talking to yourself on the phone, giving yourself orders and directions. If your wife wants to press charges, she’ll have more than enough evidence to put the two of you away.”

“She won’t press charges,” he said. “Not Carolyn.”

“Maybe not, if you return the rest of her money. What you and baby here haven’t already blown.”

He sleeved his mouth again. “I suppose you intend to take the briefcase straight to her.”

“You suppose right.”

“I could stop you,” he said, as if he were trying to convince himself. “I’m as big as you, younger — I could take it away from you.”

I repocketed the recorder. I could have showed him the.38, but I grinned at him instead. “Go ahead and try. Or else move away from the door. You’ve got five seconds to make up your mind.”

He moved in three, as I started toward him. Sideways, clear of both me and the door. Annette Byers let out a sharp, scornful laugh, and he whirled on her — somebody his own size to face off against. “Shut your stupid mouth!” he yelled at her.

“Shut yours, big man. You and your brilliant ideas.”

“Goddamn you…”

I went out and closed the door against their vicious, whining voices.

Outside, the fog had thickened to a near drizzle, slicking the pavement and turning the lines of parked cars along both curbs into two-dimensional black shapes. Parking was at such a premium in this neighborhood, there was now a car, dark and silent, double-parked across the street. I walked quickly to California. Nobody, police included, had bothered my wheels in the bus zone. I locked the briefcase in the trunk, let myself inside. A quick call to Carolyn Cohalan to let her know I was coming, a short ride out to her house by the zoo to deliver the fifty thousand, and I’d be finished for the night.

Only she didn’t answer her phone.

Funny. When I’d called her earlier from the park, she’d said she would wait for my next call. No reason for her to leave the house in the interim. Unless—

Christ!

I heaved out of the car and ran back down Locust Street. The darkened vehicle was still double-parked across from Annette Byers’s building. I swung into the foyer, jammed my finger against the bell button for 2-C and left it there. No response. I rattled the door — latched tight — and then began jabbing buttons on all the other mailboxes. The intercom crackled; somebody’s voice said, “Who the hell is that?” I said, “Police emergency, buzz me in.” Nothing, nothing, and then finally the door release sounded; I hit the door hard and lunged into the lobby.

I was at the foot of the stairs when the first shot echoed from above. Two more in swift succession, a fourth as I was pounding up to the second-floor landing.

Querulous voices, the sound of a door banging open somewhere, and I was at 2-C. The door there was shut but not latched; I kicked it open, hanging back with the.38 in my hand for self-protection. But there was no need. It was over by then. Too late and all over.

All three of them were on the floor. Cohalan on his back next to the couch, blood obscuring his face, not moving. Annette Byers sprawled bloody and moaning by the dinette table. And Carolyn Cohalan sitting with her back against a wall, a long-barreled.22 on the carpet nearby, weeping in deep, broken sobs.

I leaned hard on the doorjamb, the stink of cordite in my nostrils, my throat full of bile. Telling myself it was not my fault, there was no way I could have known it wasn’t the money but paying them back that mattered to her — the big payoff, the biggest bite there is. Telling myself I could’ve done nothing to prevent this, and remembering what I’d been thinking in the car earlier about how I lived for cases like this, how I liked this one a whole lot…