The Black Envelope

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COMRADE OREST,

As planned, I went to the reception at Central Army Headquarters. Modest food, rushed service. I wasn’t too keen on the guys’ mugs there, I have to say. The Source showed, in fact, but it didn’t cheer me up. The engineer has good judgment, I must admit, but also a way of looking down on things from on high. He’s not plugged into details, I know. And he’s too evasive in anything to do with Narcissus. On the other hand, I liked his theory about paternalism. A basic human need — we both agreed. Guidance, order, stability, continuity. Many disasters of the modern world are, I know, a result of defying these needs. I know it well from my own life. When my uncle went through those investigations linked to his liberal past, I was also subjected to parallel hardships. On the face of it, the charges against him had no bearing on me. But my connections with the man who had become my father were already irreplaceable. So it was not unjust for me to be implicated in something with which, in reality, I had nothing to do. While he was in prison, things weren’t easy for me either, as you know. But I didn’t complain. And when the time came, I was prepared to do for him what I was asked to do, as you know. He was the focus of the whole of my unstable existence. The Source was also right so all those who pretend to be innocent only want to come to power themselves. I know that. It’s not a question of ideals and principles. Power, power— that’s what they want. And so it becomes important to guide, monitor, and protect the lives of our poor confused fellow citizens. I do it, too, in my modest functions and with the modest means at my disposal. Brilliantly, if I dare say so myself. That is: correctly, discreetly, in good faith. That’s also why I prolonged my conversation with the engineer, although he didn’t have a lot to offer. As I said, the Source wasn’t in great form at all. More interesting, perhaps, would have been the classic theme: la femme. But you told me not to get into that. Anyway, we’re seeing each other again in a fortnight, at the football match with Italy. Tickets were sold out long ago, so the engineer couldn’t resist the temptation of being given one.