The Boys from Santa Cruz

4

“Luke?” you call. “You there, Luke?”

No response. You lie still, holding your breath and listening intently for the faintest rustle to betray the other man’s presence. Then when you’re sure you’re alone-or as sure as you can be: there’s always the possibility Sweet is also lying still and holding his breath-you roll onto your stomach, wriggling and squirming, squirming and wriggling, until you’ve twisted your pants around on your hips far enough to bring the pocket with the phone in it within reach of your hands, which are still tied together behind your back, palms facing.

Somehow you manage to slide both hands into your pocket, but not far enough to reach the phone, which is jammed into the very bottom of the pocket, just out of reach of your yearning fingertips. So you stretch and strain and arch your spine backward and your shoulder blades downward, fighting for one…last…crucial…mini…micro…millimeter…

There! Got it!

Now bring your thumbs into play…trying to flip the phone open…can’t quite…almost there-Ouch, ouch, cramp, thumb cramp, sonofa-

Calm down, wait for the cramp to pass, try again. Work your thumbs up, up…force them into the gap…try to leverage the-

Sonofabitch! It can’t be done. You can’t open the phone without taking it out of the pocket, any more than you could open a sandwich without taking it out of the Baggie.

Okay, okay, don’t panic. Slight adjustment necessary. Plan B: instead of working the trousers sideways any farther, work them downward, down over your hips. One of those if-you-can’t-raise-the-bridge-lower-the-water deals. Or in this case, if you can’t raise the phone, lower the pocket by lowering the pants. It doesn’t have to be far…just far enough…an inch, another inch…

Ta-daaaaa! The phone is out. Now work your thumbs between the gap again, pry the halves apart…a little farther…

Ta-daaaa again: the phone is open.

Now visualize the faceplate. Small buttons numbered like a telephone dial. Larger buttons above them marked with little telephone icons-the one on the left is for placing or answering calls. But first you have to turn it on-that’s the larger button on the right, that’s the one you need to press and hold first.

Problem: the buttons are set nearly flush with the base-you can’t tell which is which just by touch.

Solution: just keep pressing buttons and holding them down, one after the other, until you find the one that goes beep.

Okay, pressing buttons now. Trial and error: no beep…no beep…no beep…

Beep.