The Bridge

53

Allie made a dinner of rabbit, carrots, and potatoes. The rabbit had been cooked too fast and was kind of tough to chew. We drank some wine with the food, which made the whole of it tolerable. I didn’t really give a shit about the food or the wine. Fact was, it was hard to eat anything. All I could think about was seeing those men, our men, hanging like animals.

“So,” Allie said, working her jaw muscle on the rabbit. “Please tell us, Nell. What’s it like to have such an exciting life, such an exciting profession?”

Nell worked at the rabbit on her plate with her fork and knife for a moment before she spoke.

“I wish I had a home,” Nell said. “Like this.”

“Really?” Allie said.

“Really,” Nell said.

“But you get to be in new and fascinating places all the time.”

“Not sure how fascinating the places, the stopovers of the west, are, Allie,” Nell said.

“But,” Allie said, “you are onstage and people adore you and your husband. That has to be exciting.”

“At first it was,” Nell said. “But things change.”

Virgil glanced to me.

“Nell’s from San Francisco,” Allie said.

“That right?” I said.

“Yes,” Nell said. “Have you ever been?”

“I have,” I said.

“And?” Nell said.

“Lot of people,” I said. “A polyglot.”

“True,” Nell said.

“Do you miss it?” Allie said.

“Not so much,” Nell said.

“I’ve never been,” Allie said. “Virgil tells me he’ll take me there, one day. I will believe it when I see it. You have family there?” Allie said.

“No,” she said. “I don’t.”

“How did you become an actress?” Allie said.

“Allie,” Virgil said. “Let her chew her food.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” Nell said. “I was a dancer at first.”

“How exciting,” Allie said. “The ballet?”

Nell smiled.

“No,” Nell said. “Dance hall.”

“Oh,” Allie said.

“Started when I was twelve,” she said.

“Oh,” Allie said.

“In the Barbary,” Nell said, matter-of-fact.

“Oh,” Allie said.

Virgil glanced to me.

It became clear to me the relationship between Beauregard and Nell. She was in the Barbary. He most likely pulled her out of the Barbary before she was completely devoured. The only women in the Barbary were whores. Nell and Allie had more in common, I thought, than what first met the eye. Both had a history of whoring, and given the fact they seemed to be two peas in a pod, it was becoming pretty clear just why.

“Let her eat,” Virgil said.

Nell worked at cutting the rabbit on her plate into little pieces before she said anything else.

“He’s not a bad man,” Nell said, looking at Virgil. “If it were not for him... no telling where I’d be.”

Virgil didn’t say anything.

“Not a good man,” Nell went on, as she continued to cut her rabbit.

She was sawing on the rabbit as if she were cutting up Beauregard.

“But not a bad man,” she said, as she forked a piece of rabbit into her mouth and chewed.

After dinner, Nell insisted Allie and Virgil sit by the fire and enjoy each other’s company while I helped her in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes.

We worked side by side, washing and drying the dishes for a long while without saying anything.

“He knows I like you,” Nell said.

I just looked at her.

She looked at me.

“That’s why he acted the way he did when I saw you walk into the door of the hotel,” she said. “He could see it in my eyes. He’s beyond jealous. He watches me. Watches my every move. He knows I’m looking for a way out.”

“I’m no savior,” I said.

“I know,” Nell said.

She continued to wash and I continued to dry.

“You could do one thing for me, though,” Nell said.

“What’s that?” I said.

“Before I have to leave Appaloosa,” she said, “I’d like you to make love to me.”