The Brotherhood Of The Holy Shroud

54

ADDAIO WEPT IN SILENCE.

He had locked himself in his office and would allow no one-not even Guner-to enter.

He had been closeted for more than ten hours, sitting, pacing, staring into space, allowing himself to be swept along by a wave of contradictory emotions.

He had failed, and many men had died because of his obstinacy. There was nothing in the newspapers about what had happened, just that a collapse had occurred in the tunnels below Turin and that a number of workers had been killed, among them several Turks.

Mendib, Turgut, Ismet, and other brothers had been buried alive under the rubble-their bodies would never be recovered. He had borne the harsh gaze of Mendib's and Ismet's mothers. They did not forgive him; they would never forgive him. Neither would the mothers of the other young men he had asked to sacrifice themselves on the altar of an impossible mission.

God had turned against him. The community now had to resign itself to never recovering the grave cloth of Christ, for that was God's will. Addaio could not believe that so many failures were simply tests that God put them to in order to confirm their strength.

Perhaps this, the simple acceptance of God's will, was the true legacy of the shroud, a legacy that had always been theirs to embrace. Addaio had learned that too late. He wondered if his old adversaries, those who guarded the shroud so fiercely, might someday embrace it as well.

He finished writing his will. Overriding his previous orders, he was leaving precise instructions about the man to be his successor-a good man of clean heart, with no ambition, and who loved life as he, Addaio, had not. Guner would become their leader, their pastor. He folded the letter and sealed it. It was addressed to the community's eight pastors; it would be they who would see that his last wishes were carried out. He would not be denied, he knew: The pastor of the flock selected the next leader. Thus it had been down through the centuries, and thus it would always be.

He took out a bottle of pills he kept in his desk drawer and took them all. Then he sat in the wingback chair and let himself be overcome by sleep.

Eternity awaited.