The Burglar In The Closet

Chapter Fourteen

“Jeez, if it ain’t my old buddy,” Dennis said. “Saturday night and look what a crowd fulla stiffs they get here, will ya? It’s a great place during the week but on weekends everybody’s home with their wife and kids. People don’t have to work, they don’t have to unwind after work, you know what I mean? But the parking garage business, that’s no five-days-a-week operation. You run a garage and they keep you hopping around the clock, and who the hell wants to waste Saturday night on his wife and kids anyway? You’re not in the garage business. You told me your line but it slipped my mind.”

What had I told him? I’d said I was a burglar, but what else? “Investments,” I said.

“Right. Jeez, can you believe it, I can’t remember your name? I got it on the tip of my tongue.”

“It’s Ken. Ken Harris.”

“Of course it is. Just what I was gonna say. Dennis is mine, I’m in the garage business. One thing I don’t forget, though, I’ll bet I remember your drink. Hey, Knobby, get your ass over here, huh? Make it another of the same for me and bring my friend Kenny here a Cutty Sark on the rocks. Am I right or am I right, Ken?”

“You’re right but you’re wrong, Dennis.”

“How’s that?”

To Knobby I said, “Just make it black coffee for the time being. I got to get sober before I go and get drunk again.”

I didn’t have to get sober. I’d had nothing alcoholic all day except for that solitary glass of beer on Spring Street, and a couple of hours had passed since then. But what I did have to do was stay sober because I am always sober when I work and I planned to work tonight. I was standing with my old buddy Dennis at the bar of Spyder’s Parlor, and good old Knobby was building the drinks, and straight black coffee was just what the burglar ordered.

“I guess you been making the rounds, eh, Kenny?”

Who was Kenny? Oh, right. I was. “I hit a few places, Dennis.”

“See Frankie anywhere?”

“No. Not tonight.”

“She was supposed to drop by here after dinner. Sometimes she’ll put roots down in Joan’s Joynt or one of those gin mills, but she’s generally pretty dependable, you know what I mean? And she’s not at home. I called her a few minutes ago and nobody answered.”

“She’ll be around,” Knobby said. His head must have earned him his name. He was young, early thirties, but his bald dome made him look older at first glance. He had a fringe of dark brown hair around a prominent and shiny head of skin. His eyebrows were thick and bushy, his jaw underslung, his nose a button and his eyes a warm liquid brown. He had a lean, wiry body and he looked good in the official Spyder’s Parlor T-shirt, a bright-red affair with a design silk-screened in black, a spider’s web, a leering macho spider in one corner, arms extended to welcome a hesitant girlish fly. “Ol’ Frances, she’s got to make her rounds,” he said. “Stick around and you’ll see her before the night’s over.”

He moved off down the bar. “She’ll show or she won’t,” Dennis said. “Least you’re here, I got a buddy to drink with. I hate to drink alone. You drink alone and you’re just a boozer, know what I mean? Me, I can take the alcohol or leave it alone. I’m here for the companionship.”

“I know what you mean,” I said. “I guess Frankie’s got things to drink about these days.”

“You mean What’s-her-name? That got killed?”

“Right.”

“Yeah, hell of a thing. She sounded bad when I talked to her a couple hours ago.”

“Depressed?”

He thought it over. “Disturbed,” he said. “She was saying how they let the husband off, the veterinarian or whatever he is.”

“I think he’s a dentist.”

“Well, same difference. She said she oughta do something. I dunno, maybe she had a few already. You know how she gets.”

“Sure.”

“Women don’t hold it the way you and I do. It’s a physical thing, Ken.”

Cue or not, I acted on it, waving to Knobby and springing for a drink for Dennis and coffee for myself. When the bartender moved away I said, “Knobby here, a minute ago he called her Frances.”

“Well, that’s her name, Ken. Frances Ackerman.”

“Everybody calls her Frankie.”

“So?”

“I was, you know, just thinking.” I moved my hand in a vague circle. “What’s Knobby’s name, you happen to know?”

“Shit, lemme think. I used to know. I think I used to know.”

“Unless his parents named him Knobby, but what kind of name is that for a little baby?”

“Naw, they wouldn’t give him a name like that. He musta had hair then. The day his mother dropped him he musta had more hair than he does today.”

“Here we’ve bought all these drinks from him and neither of us know’s the bastard’s name, Dennis.”

“It’s funny when you put it that way, Ken.” He lifted his glass, drained it. “What the hell,” he said, “drink up and we’ll buy another round off him and ask him who the hell he is. Or who the hell he thinks he is, right?”

It took more than one round. It took several, and I had a pretty fair case of coffee nerves building by the time we established that Knobby’s first name was Thomas, that his last name was Corcoran, and that he lived nearby. On a trip to the men’s room I stopped to look up Knobby in the phone book. There was a Thos Corcoran listed on East Twenty-eighth Street between First and Second. I tried the number and let it ring an even dozen times and nobody answered. I looked over my shoulder, saw no one paying attention to me, and tore the page out of the book for future reference.

Back at the bar Dennis said, “She got a friend?”

“Huh?”

“I figured you were on the phone with a broad and I asked if she’s got a friend.”

“Oh. Well, she hasn’t got any enemies.”

“Hey, that’s pretty good, Ken. I bet when he was a kid they called him Corky.”

“Who?”

“Knobby. Last name’s Corcoran, it figures they’ll call him Corky, right?”

“I guess so.”

“Shit,” Dennis said. “Drink up and we’ll ask the bum. Hey, Corky! Get over here, you bum!”

I put a hand on Dennis’s shoulder. “I’ll pass for now,” I said, sliding a couple of bills across the bar for Knobby. “I’ve got somebody to see.”

“Yeah, and she’s got no enemies. Well, if she’s got a friend, bring her around later, huh? I’ll be here for a while. Maybe Frankie’ll drop by and have a couple, but either way I’ll be holding the fort.”

“So maybe I’ll see you later, Dennis.”

“Oh, I’ll be here,” he said. “Where else am I gonna go?”