The Burglar Who Studied Spinoza

CHAPTER Nine

I woke up around seven to let her out. I have several locks on the door in addition to the police lock, and she was having a hell of a time getting them all lined up. I unlocked everything and told her I'd call her, and she said that would be nice, and we gave each other one of those near-miss kisses you exchange when one or more of you has not recently employed a toothbrush.

I locked up after her and went to the bathroom, where I employed a toothbrush and swallowed a couple of aspirin. I thought about breakfast, thought better of it, and decided to lie down for a minute to give the aspirins a chance to work.

Next thing I knew, someone was pummeling my door. I thought first that it was Denise, come to retrieve something. But it didn't sound like her. Nor did it sound like little Mrs. Hesch, my one friend in that soulless building. Mrs. Hesch drops by now and again to pour me a cup of great coffee and bitch about the building management's failure to keep the washers and dryers in good repair. But Mrs. Hesch is a little bird of a woman, not much given to pounding on one's door.

More knocking. I had my feet on the floor now and some of the fog was starting to lift from my brain. It was cops, of course, as I realized as soon as I was awake enough to be capable of things like realization. Nobody else knocks like that, as if you should have been expecting them and ought to have met them at the door.

I went to the door and asked who it was. "Well, it ain't Santy Claus," said a recognizable voice. "Open up, Bern."

"Oh, hell."

"What kind of attitude is that?"

"You picked a bad time," I said. "Why don't I meet you in the lobby in say five minutes?"

"Why don't you open the door in say ten seconds?"

"The thing is," I said, "I'm not dressed."

"So?"

"Give me a minute."

What time was it, anyway? I found my watch and learned it was a few minutes past nine, which meant I was going to be late opening up the store. I might miss selling a few three-for-a-buck books as a result, and while that's hard to take seriously when you've just stolen something with a six-figure price tag, standards must be maintained.

I got into some clothes, splashed a handful of cold water on my face, and opened a window to air the place out a little. Then I unlocked all my locks for the second time that morning, and Ray Kirschmann shook his head at them as he lumbered across my threshold.

"Look at that," he said. "Figure you got enough security devices there, Bern?"

Security devices, yet. Anybody but a cop would have called the damn things locks. "They say you can't be too careful," I said.

"That's what they say, all right. Police lock's new, isn't it? You gettin' paranoid in your old age?"

"Well, we've had a rash of burglaries in the neighborhood. Four or five right in this building."

"Even with the doorman on the job?"

"He's not exactly the Secret Service," I said. "Incidentally, I must not have heard him ring to announce you."

"I sort of told him not to take the trouble, Bern. I said I'd just make things easy and go straight up."

"Did you tell him you were Santa Claus?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Because that's who's going to have to take care of him at Christmas. I'm not even putting coal in his stocking."

"Funny. What did you have, company last night?"

"You didn't get that from the doorman."

He looked pleased. "I'm a detective," he said. "What I did, I detected it. Well, look around, Bern. Ashtray full of cigarette butts and you don't smoke. Two glasses, one on each of the bedside tables. If she's hidin' in the bathroom, tell her to come join the party."

"She already went home, but I'm sure she'd appreciate the invitation."

"She's not here?"

"No. You missed her by a couple hours."

"Well, thank God for small favors."

"Huh?"

"Now I can use your bathroom."

When he emerged from it I was sipping a glass of orange juice and feeling more alert, if not altogether on top of things. "You just dropped in to use the John," I said. "Right?"

"You kiddin', Bern? I came by to see you. We don't see each other that often."

"I know. It's been ages."

"It seems I only see you when somebody gets killed. You had overnight company, huh? That's not bad, two nights in a row."

"The other night I was at her place."

"Same lady, huh?"

"That's right."

"Handy."

"Ray, it's always wonderful to see you," I said, "but I overslept and I'm late getting to the store as it is, and-"

"Business comes first, right?"

"Something like that."

"Sure, I know how it is, Bern. I wouldn't be here myself if it wasn't business. Who's got the time for social calls, right?"

"Right."

"So I guess you got yourself an alibi for last night. The little lady who smoked all the cigarettes."

"She's not so little. There are those who would call her gawky. And I already told Richler all that. I'll give her name if I absolutely have to, if I'm charged and booked, but until then-"

"That's the night before last, Bern. The Colcannon job, I'm talkin' about last night."

"What about last night?"

"Tell me about it. Matter of fact, take it from when I dropped you off at the store yesterday around noon. Run it down for me."

"What's last night got to do with anything?"

"You first, Bern."

He listened attentively, and I could almost see wheels turning behind his forehead. Just because his integrity's for sale doesn't change the fact that Ray Kirschmann's a pretty good cop. It is not for nothing that he is known as the best cop money can buy.

When I was finished he frowned, sucked at his teeth, clucked his tongue, yawned, and allowed as to how my alibi sounded pretty good.

"It's not an alibi," I said. "It's what I did yesterday. An alibi's when something happened and you have to prove you didn't do it."

"Right."

"What happened?"

"Friend of yours got hisself killed. Least he used to be a friend of yours. Before you went straight and gave up burgling for books."

I felt a chill. He could have meant anyone but I knew without a moment's doubt just who it was that he was talking about.

"A top fence. What the papers'll call a notorious receiver of stolen goods, except they better say alleged because he never took a fall for it. Somebody got into his apartment yesterday and beat him to death."