The Carnal Prayer Mat

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Lyric:

(To the tune "Springtime in the Jade Bower")

Most of Vesperus's triumphs have now been told, but only a fraction of the disasters that were to befall him. We shall proceed step by step to repay in full those lecher's loans of his and then, after concluding this tale of retribution, put our brush and inkstone away.

His wife had run off with Honest Quan and the maid Ruyi. Jade Scent began having abdominal pains at the first place they stopped, and the fetus she was bearing, which could not be induced to miscarry before despite all their efforts, now miscarried of its own accord under the strain of the journey. If only it had done so a few days earlier, they would not have had to flee, but it was now too late to turn back. Jade Scent had eloped to no purpose whatever. Surely it was her husband's sins that had brought her to such a pass!

Quan's original motive had been vengeance rather than lust, and from the moment he abducted her, he had meant to sell her into prostitution. But she was carrying his child, its sex still unknown, and he could not bear the thought of his own flesh and blood being born in a brothel and growing up to shame him. He was in a quandary until the miscarriage, when he quickly decided on a course of action.

Taking both women with him on a nonstop journey to the capital, he lodged them at an inn while he looked about for a buyer. Now, when someone is trying to sell a woman of good family into prostitution, he has to employ deception. He will tell her he has a relative there who is trying to find them somewhere to live and by that means get a potential buyer in to see her. Only if the buyer likes what she sees is it possible to trick the woman into joining another "family."

There lived in the capital a certain celebrated madam named "Immortal Maid" Gu. One look at Jade Scent was enough to convince her that this was rare merchandise indeed, and she paid Quan the full price asked by the go-between. She also bought Ruyi, to continue serving Jade Scent as a maid.

Before the sale Quan had been too obsessed with the idea of revenge ever to question it. But immediately afterward he felt uneasy and gradually came to repent his actions, turning the following thoughts over and over in his mind: I've heard that, according to the Buddhist scriptures, if we want to know the karmic causation from our last existence, we should look at our fortunes in this life, and if we want to know the causation for our next life, we should look at our actions now. I failed to safeguard my women's quarters and allowed my wife to behave disgracefully. For all I know, in my last existence I may have seduced some other man's wife and am now being punished by having to give my wife up to someone else. I ought to have meekly accepted the humiliation and so canceled my karmic debt. Why did I have to go seducing someone else's wife and incur a sin for my next existence? Even though I felt the need for revenge, I ought to have slept with her for a few nights to purge my anger and let it go at that. Why did I have to sell her into prostitution and make one man's wife the wife of ten thousand? I may have a vendetta against the husband, but does that mean that everyone else has a vendetta against him, too? And if the sin of selling her into prostitution is so unbearable, why did I have to compound it by selling an innocent maidservant along with her? Jade Scent may have a husband I hate, but what husband does the maid have?

At this point in his reflections, he fell to beating his chest and stamping his feet in self-loathing. He knew perfectly well that wrongs once done cannot be undone and that his only recourse was to repent his sins for the rest of this life in preparation for the next. He gave the money that he had received from the sale to the poor and the handicapped, and he himself, after shearing off half his hair until he looked like a mendicant friar, traveled about in search of a truly eminent monk who would be willing to induct him into the monastic order. In due course he came to Mount Guacang, where he met Abbot Lone Peak and recognized in him a living buddha. After Lone Peak had accepted him into the order, Quan struggled to perfect himself for twenty years before attaining the fruits of enlightenment.

But these events still lie ahead of us. Let us speak now of Jade Scent's fall into prostitution. Having arrived in Immortal Maid's household, she and Ruyi took one glance at what was afoot and realized, needless to say, that this was no decent family they were joining, but that they had been duped by a scoundrel. A vulgar saying puts their reaction in a nutshell:

They knew this wasn't proper company,

But in a pinch they thought it best to join.

Even the most chaste of women, once she had crossed that triple threshold, could not have escaped. How unlikely it was that one who had already lost her virtue and was not exactly averse to men would even try! Jade Scent simply told Immortal Maid her story and contentedly resigned herself to the career of a courtesan.

Of course it was necessary for her, on entering a house of prostitution, to adopt a sobriquet for her clients' use. To avoid confusing the reader, however, the author will continue to use her original name, as he did in the case of Honest Quan.

A very rich client chose her the first evening. Next morning he was about to depart, when Immortal Maid noticed and begged him to stay. Although he insisted, he had some advice for her as he left: "That daughter of yours has a perfect face and figure. All she lacks are those three superlative skills of yours. A great general oughtn't to have any incompetents on his staff, you know; you really ought to pass your skills along. I'm leaving now, but after you've taught her, I'll be back for my lesson." And with that he was off.

Why did he say this? Because Immortal Maid had long possessed three superlative skills, none of which had been mastered by any other woman. As a girl she had been of only average looks and had shown little talent for verse, yet by now she had enjoyed over thirty years of celebrity. Moreover the men she slept with were all from the aristocracy or the gentry; no ordinary citizen could get in to see her. Even after she reached forty or fifty and became a madam herself, the rich and eminent continued to patronize her for the sake of her skills.

What were these superlative skills of hers? The first was Lowering the Yin to join the Yang, the second was Raising the Yin to Meet the Yang, and the third was Sacrificing the Yin to Aid the Yang. ^[88] When having sex with a man, she did not expect him to move, but did the moving herself. First she asked him to oblige her by lying on his back. Then she mounted him, inserted his penis in her vagina, and raised herself and sheathed it, sank down and kneaded it, raised herself and sheathed it, sank down and kneaded it. If another woman had done this, her legs would have ached so abominably after the first few strokes that she'd have been unable to continue, but the Maid's knees seemed to be made of brass or iron, for the longer she worked, the stronger she became. And it was not just the man she pleased, she also pleased herself. "Having a man do the moving," she used to say, "is like asking someone to scratch an itch for you. You can be sure that half the time he'll miss the spot. But when you scratch yourself, it's simply heavenly, because you never miss." This is what was meant by Lowering the Yin to join the Yang, the first of her skills.

At other times, when she lay underneath, she would not let the man exert himself alone, but would insist on arching her body to help him. When he thrust forward, she rose to meet him; when he pulled back, she gave way. Not only did she save him half the effort, she also got fully half the benefit for herself, ensuring that her secret pass was under constant attack.

"The most delightful things in life," she was given to saying, "cannot be enjoyed on one's own. Yin must fit together with yang, yang must fit together with yin. When they happen to meet halfway, you'll naturally start enjoying yourself; that is what is meant by the reciprocity of yin and yang. If the woman doesn't respond to the man but just lets him thrust away, what's to stop him from getting a wood or plaster mannequin and drilling a deep hole in the middle of it? As long as he can enter, he'll be able to thrust back and forth, so what does he need a woman for? That is why famous courtesans have to grasp this principle if they are going to please their clients as well as themselves." This is what was known as Raising the Yin to Meet the Yang, the second of her skills.

As for Sacrificing the Yin to Aid the Yang, it was incomparably more profound. When having sex, she was most reluctant to let her finite supply of female essence leak out where it would do no good. So long as the man got the benefit, she had no regrets about spending; but otherwise she felt as downcast as if she had lost money or made a poor business deal, and afterward, when it was all over, she would be inconsolable.

What technique did she use to see that the man got the benefit? Whenever she was about to spend, she would tell him to place his glans against the heart of the flower and keep it there without moving. She knew how to maneuver the tiny orifice in the heart into precise alignment with the orifice in the glans. Since she took care to teach the man in advance how to ingest the essence, it was no sooner secreted than he ingested it into his penis and thence through his coccyx directly to the pubic region. For sheer efficacy, ginseng and aconite cannot compare with this substance, which is unsurpassed even by the elixir of immortality.

She learned this marvelous art at the age of fifteen. She was losing her virginity to a magician at the time, and he had inadvertently revealed it. Whenever she met a sympathetic client, she would instruct him in what to do, and he invariably benefited. After a few nights with her, not only would he become twice as vigorous, even his complexion would take on a new glow. People said she must be the incarnation of an immortal maid, which is how she acquired her name.

Once her clients had been taught the principle, they duly practiced it at home, where of course they had no need of her. Little did they realize, however, that people can be taught how to ingest the essence but not how to align the orifices. The key factor is the woman's skill in bringing them together, and Immortal Maid was the only one who knew the secret; others could not succeed no matter how hard they tried. The remarkable thing was that all other women were in the dark except for her, which is why it was known as a superlative skill.

When Jade Scent first arrived, it was not her reputation that drew the rich client but Immortal Maid's, as a formidable adversary. The client took it for granted that Jade Scent, as someone trained by the Maid, would be familiar with her tactics. What complicated matters was that he was grossly fat. When he climbed into bed and lay on her, he began puffing and wheezing after no more than forty or fifty strokes, so he quickly dismounted and held her on top of him while she did the work. But Jade Scent, accustomed as she was to a life of leisure, had never done anything half as strenuous as this in her whole life. She may have Doused the Candle a few times, but always with the man holding her by the hips and bouncing her up and down; nominally she was the active partner, but actually it was he. How could she make that slight, delicate frame of hers do anything as rough as this? After less than ten sheathings, her feet and legs ached so badly that she collapsed onto his stomach. The client realized that she had not mastered this skill, to say nothing of the others, and he hastily finished off and slept until dawn. But although he could not enjoy her, he was not prepared to give her up, which is why he offered his parting advice to the Maid.

The Maid assumed, as she showed him out, that Jade Scent had put on ladylike airs instead of trying to please him. 'How was she going to make any money by receiving such an important gentleman and then sending him away after just one night? The Maid armed herself with her rod and was about to start beating, when Jade Scent fell to her knees and begged for mercy. Because this was her first offense, the Maid forgave her, but scolded her severely and insisted she study the three arts by day and night. While the Maid was having sex with a client, she taught by practical example, making Jade Scent stand beside the bed and watch closely to see if she could master the techniques. And when Jade Scent was having sex, the Maid gave her an individual tutorial, sitting beside the bed and watching closely to see that her pupil was doing it right.

Where there's a will there's a way, as the proverb says. Jade Scent was forced to study hard, both from fear of the Maid's discipline and also because she wanted to make a name for herself. As a result, in no more than a month or two she had mastered the three skills. Her art was now fully equal to the Maid's, while her beauty and poetic talent were far superior, and it goes without saying that before long an endless stream of carriages was calling at her gate. Soon she was famous throughout the capital, and there was scarcely a wealthy gentlemen or young nobleman who did not come to sample her delights.

Among her clients were two gentlemen so eager to lavish their money on her that they promised her a dozen taels for a single night, a promise that made her especially solicitous.

Who were they, do you suppose? None other than Lucky Pearl's and Lucky Jade's husbands, Scholars Cloud-Reposer and Cloud-Recliner. As students enrolled in the National Academy, they had heard of Jade Scent's towering reputation and vied with each other to be the first to visit her. Without telling his brother, Reposer slept with her several nights, after which Recliner, without telling Reposer, slept with her a few nights more. Each of them, in deceiving the other, had assumed that, although she was a prostitute, she would hardly be so ignorant of ethical principle as to receive one brother after already receiving the other. Little did they realize that it is money, rather than ethics, that motivates prostitutes. Not only were brothers and classmates regular visitors under her skirts, she also received grandfathers as well as grandsons, and fathers as well as sons, transforming this one small article of hers into an ancestral shrine for three generations and offering equal access to old and young, noble and base.

When the brothers eventually found out, they felt they might just as well invite her to their lodgings for the common enjoyment of all, for brothers and classmates-and for teacher and students. Because even Cloud's husband, Master Felix, would often make a superficial contribution to the proceedings. After a night or two with her he actually did feel a renewed vitality, which convinced him that Scent's vagina was a medicinal tonic and that if only he had married a wife like her, he would not have had to dodge his connubial duties.

After a year at the Academy the brothers began to feel homesick and decided to pay a return visit, lest their young wives become depressed and ill from pining for them. They asked the dean for a few months' leave, and the request was granted.

After saying goodbye to Jade Scent, they traveled back with Cloud's husband. Once home, needless to say, each was treated to a welcome-home party by his wife, and then asked how many courtesans and catamites he had been with and how he had enjoyed himself as compared with his experience at home. Each husband, of course, told of his liaison with Jade Scent and described her three superlative skills in glowing terms, inevitably saying more than he should have said.

Next morning, when the wives arose, they told one another what they had learned, and all of their stories tallied.

"We don't believe such a prodigy exists," said Lucky Pearl and Lucky Jade, "although if she does exist, she will render us passé. But we think that the whole story has been cooked up by our husbands to make us look like the only truly useless women in the world. The idea is to needle us into putting more effort into our lovemaking."

"Ah, but they won't be able to deceive the man we've been living with," said Cloud. "He has lots of experience, and if such a whore exists, he's bound to know of her. Let's ask him when next he comes over."

"Good idea," said the others.

During the Qingming festival their husbands went off to visit the family graves and were not expected back until the following day. The women promptly sent a maid to invite Vesperus over. After exchanging greetings, they asked about the woman.

"There are all kinds of things in the world," he said. "Perhaps there is such a prodigy of a prostitute somewhere. Anyway, if she's in the capital, I'll meet up with her one day. Just give me one night with her; and only if she's a match for me will she qualify as a prodigy. Those fellows wouldn't know a good woman if they saw one!"

After chatting for a while, they spent the night together. As Vesperus left the next day, he was still puzzled. It must be true, if all three husbands tell the same story, he thought, and since we have such a magician as that among us, why shouldn't I go and see her? I've been to bed with any number of beautiful women in my time, but I've never come across one who could do the work herself-it's a distinct gap in my experience. Moreover, my blood and semen have been sadly depleted by these four, and I need to learn some tactics for building them up again. If that whore knows all these magical arts, it'll take me just one night with her to learn how to ingest the essence, after which I'll be able to enjoy myself for the rest of my life. If it's such a boon, why not try it?

He decided to return home to see his wife and then travel on to the capital to visit the famous courtesan.

His journey itself was of no importance, but it led to certain results:

The fury in his heart could not have been vented by toppling Mount Tai,

The shame on his face could not have been cleansed by scooping up the West River.

If you wish to learn the details, you will find them in the next chapter.

CRITIQUE

Vesperus's lechery and wickedness have now reached their climax. If his wife had been made to take a lover without becoming a prostitute, it would not have gladdened our hearts, any more than if she had become a prostitute without entertaining the three women's husbands. If, by the end of a lewd book, there is no character or event but has met with retribution, all those readers who have committed any sins of the flesh will find themselves bathed in a cold sweat. That is just the kind of lewd book we should read more of!