The Carnal Prayer Mat (Rou Putuan)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Poem:

After the trunk arrived at her house and she had dismissed the stewards, Flora did not open it immediately, but fetched a suit of men's clothes from her own boxes, together with a well-worn cap and a pair of shoes and socks, all of which had belonged to her late husband, and laid them out. She then unlocked the trunk and invited the paragon to step forth and dress, after which they greeted each other and sat down for an intimate talk. As might have been expected, Vesperus's nimble tongue, so adept at deceiving women, invented a lie or two, such as, "After seeing you in the temple, I longed for you day and night, but not knowing your honorable name, had no means of finding you. Fortunately Heaven has vouchsafed me this chance to turn bad luck into good, and now at last I am able to gaze on your fair countenance!"

Having read his comments on her, Flora believed that he really did admire her and she took his lies for the truth and was full of gratitude. She told a maid to prepare lunch, after which they waited impatiently for evening and went to bed.

Although she could not be described as really fat, Flora was undeniably plump. Vesperus had mounted her but barely begun to move when she hugged him tightly, planted a kiss on his lips, and cried, "Dearest!" This was enough to set him tingling all over. He had slept with many women, but had never experienced such a reaction from a hug.

What was the reason? You must understand that there are two categories of women: those for looking at and those for practical purposes. The former are not necessarily suitable for practical purposes, just as the latter are not necessarily goodlooking. In all recorded history, there has been just one woman, Yang Guifei, who has managed to combine both qualities.

In general, there are three desiderata of the good-looking woman:

1. Better to be thin than fat

2. Better to be short than tall

3. Better to be weak and delicate than strong and robust

This explains why the women you see in paintings have wisplike waists and figures too slight to fill out their clothes, and why you never see any plump or robust ones among them: they are there for visual rather than practical purposes.

The practical women are a different species, but for them, too, there are three desiderata:

1. Better to be fat than thin

2. Better to be tall than short

3. Better to be strong and robust than weak and delicate

Why do they need these three qualities? In general when a man lies on top of a woman, the first requirement is that she be as soft as a cushion; the second is that she match his height; and the third is that she be able to bear his weight. A thin woman's figure is like a stone slab, and your whole body aches unbearably just from lying on top of her. A fat woman, by contrast, is soft and tender, and when lying on her, you don't even need to start moving before you feel your body tingling and your spirit in raptures. And she has another marvelous quality, too: she is warm in winter and cool in summer. All of which explains why it is better to be fat than thin.

When you sleep with a short woman, your body cannot meet hers at all points, for if the upper parts fit together nicely, the lower parts do not, and vice versa. Moreover, a body as slight as a child's will stir a man's pity rather than his passion. All of which explains why it is better to be tall than short.

A man may weigh anywhere from seventy or eighty catties to over a hundred, which is a weight that only a strong and robust woman can bear. If you lie on top of a weak and delicate woman, you are on tenterhooks all the time in case you crush her. Sexual enjoyment is entirely dependent on your peace of mind; it cannot survive if you feel nervous. All of which explains why it is better for a woman to be strong and robust than weak and delicate.

Thus good looks and practical usefulness are mutually exclusive. If a woman manages to combine both qualities, she need be only eighty percent beautiful to rate as one hundred and twenty percent, for in such a case how can one insist on perfection?

Although Flora was an older woman, she did combine both qualities. As soon as Vesperus got into bed, she automatically revealed her long suit by clasping his upper body in her soft arms and enveloping his lower body with her soft legs, wrapping him around like a downy quilt. Enjoyable, wouldn't you say? Moreover, her body matched his nicely, and she was also able to bear his weight. The women Vesperus had slept with before had all been on the small, weak, and delicate side and he had never known that this kind of pleasure existed, which is why he felt himself tingling all over before he even set to. Precisely because he found the sensation so delightful, that object down below swelled up to extraordinary proportions, getting longer without penetration and hotter without friction, as if it had thrust dozens of times already. Aligning itself with her vulva, it stabbed its way in.

Flora had already borne a child, and naturally her vagina was large, unlike those of the sisters, who had suffered considerable pain before gradually reaching a state of bliss. But after only ten strokes, she suddenly went into convulsions and, clutching Vesperus, cried out in great agitation, "Faster, darling, faster! I'm going to spend!" Vesperus thrust furiously for ten more strokes before she cried out, "Stop, darling! I'm spending!"

Vesperus placed the head of his penis against the heart of the flower and waited while she finished her orgasm, then resumed thrusting. As he did so, he asked her, "Dearest, why is your stamina so low? You spent after only twenty or thirty strokes. Your nieces lasted for two or three hundred, and I thought they were easy to dispatch. I never expected to meet anyone even easier."

Flora fixed him with a stern eye. "Now, look here! Don't you go thinking of me as easy. I'm the hardest woman of all to dispatch. It takes between one and two thousand strokes to get me to spend, and even then you have to put in a great deal of extra effort. You'll never succeed with this sort of thrusting."

Vesperus was surprised. "If you have that kind of stamina, why were you so easily dispatched just now? Surely you weren't faking?"

"No, I wasn't faking. There is a perfectly good reason for it. I've not been with a man in over ten years, and my passions are at their height. When I saw how handsome and well-endowed you were, my joy got the better of me, and my essence came of its own accord soon after you entered. It amounted to spending on my own and had nothing to do with your thrusting. If you don't believe me, just watch me next time. It will be very different, I assure you."

"I see. But there's something I still don't understand. You said that even with over a thousand strokes, it still took extra effort to get you to spend. That takes some effort to understand, I'm afraid. You mean something else in addition to the thrusting?"

"Simply this, that you have to put extra effort into arousing me, either by doing it audibly or else by saying lewd things. That brings my passions to life and I'm able to spend. If there's no sound from down below and nothing lewd from you, it would be like the deaf having sex with the dumb, and where's the fun in that? If you were to go on all night, I might get a pleasant sensation inside, but I'd still feel no joy at the bottom of my heart and the essence wouldn't come. But there is one thing I have to warn you about. I may be slow to spend, but the way I do it is different from other women; I actually pass out for a quarter of an hour before coming back to life again. I'm telling you this now, so that you won't panic when it happens."

"In that case only the strongest man could make you spend. My stamina may not be in the highest class, but at least it is well up in the second and, if I summon all my strength, perhaps I'll be able to cope. But what was your late husband's stamina like, I wonder? Was he able to satisfy you every night?"

"His stamina was not even in the second class," said Flora. "At first he was very highly sexed and an experienced seducer, and he did a great many immoral things. He used to say to me, 'Other women's are made of flesh, but yours is made of iron. I've tried everything I can think of, and I still can't get you to spend.' But then he thought up a number of ways of arousing my passions, and sex became a lot easier. Regardless of how many strokes it took, one thousand or two thousand, I'd feel joy at the bottom of my heart and would want to spend."

"In that case please tell me what his methods were. I 'may not have an old man ripe in judgment to guide me, but at least I shall have your statutes and laws.' [83] Let me copy his methods and perhaps save myself some effort."

"The methods are extremely simple, and great fun to try. There are just three of them, six words in all, which are self-explanatory. You'll understand as soon as I say them."

"What are they?"

Flora recited: "Erotic pictures, erotic books, lewd sounds."

"As for erotic pictures and books, I used both methods when I was newly married and they worked well, with one limitation. They aroused me the first time I looked at them, but by the second or third time I became bored. They can be used once in a while, but not as a regular standby."

"I imagine you had only a small supply at home and that you finished them up quickly and got bored. I have a large stock, several dozen albums and several hundred novels, and by the time you finish the last one, you've forgotten the first and can start all over again and get just as excited as before.

"However, there is a right and a wrong time to use them. Erotic pictures should be looked at before sex, while the partners still have their clothes on and are behaving correctly. When looking at a picture and analyzing its subtleties, you should not do anything, even if your feelings happen to be aroused. If the penis stands up and the fluid starts to flow, you must ignore both developments until you've looked at several dozen pictures and can restrain yourselves no longer. That's the way to get the full effect of an erotic album.

"For erotic novels to be of any practical use, they should be read after you've begun but before you've finished. Place the book in front of you before you begin. Then, when you've done it for a while, one or other of you should open the book and read aloud from it. When you come to an exciting passage, start sex again. When you reach a less interesting stage in sex, start reading again. That's the way to get the full effect of an erotic novel."

"What a subtle observation!" said Vesperus. "Obviously I have neglected my studies and made no progress. As the adage says, one's education never ends. Without the benefit of your instruction, I might have gone on studying and practicing all my life and never learned this. I now understand the first two items, but not the last. Not only have I never written on that topic, I'm not even sure what it means. What do you mean by lewd sounds?"

"In my opinion," replied Flora, "there is nothing to surpass it among all the thrills and pleasures of sex. It means lying beside a pair of lovers and listening to the sounds they make-enough to drive you wild with delight. I've always taken a special pleasure in listening to other people in action. While my husband was alive, I used to get him to seduce a maid and do it as rapidly and noisily as possible, so that the girl was quite beside herself and began to cry out. That would bring me to a fever pitch and I'd give a cough, at which he would fly into my bed and pound away furiously. I'd make him ignore the usual strategy and throw himself into a continuous, all-out assault. Not only would I get a pleasant sensation inside, it would spread to the bottom of my heart and I'd spend after no more than seven or eight hundred strokes. As a method, it's even more fun than erotic pictures and novels."

"An even more delightful disquisition!" said Vesperus. "But there is just one point that puzzles me. You told me your honorable husband's stamina was on the inadequate side. If so, how did he manage to seduce a maid and then have sex with her mistress straight afterward? Moreover with the maid he had to do it as rapidly and as loudly as possible. I'd expect him to be a spent force by the time he got to you, so how could he hurl himself into an all-out assault? I'm afraid I'm not able to credit that quite so easily."

"In the first stage I didn't ask him to do it himself, but to use a stand-in. Only in the second stage, the all-out assault, did I have to ask his help. He'd never have been able to manage it all on his own."

"I think I know that stand-in. Is his name Mr. Horn, by any chance?"

"Right. We have lots of them in the house. And as for pretty maids, we have several of those too. I daresay that in our first encounter today I won't have any difficulty spending, but we must try that method tomorrow."

Vesperus was enthralled and felt as if he had just seduced the maid, heard the cough, and rushed into Flora's bed. Heedless of strategy, he threw himself into a continuous, all-out assault.

During their conversation he had not been idle but had thrust steadily away, at least five hundred times in all. Now, with this renewed assault, the pleasant sensation in her vagina spread to the bottom of her heart and, just as if she were dying, her hands and feet grew cold, her eyes glazed over, and her mouth dropped open.

Had Flora not told him her secret in advance, Vesperus would have been alarmed. But after a few minutes, just as she had predicted, she revived and, clasping him to her, sighed in admiration: "What a fine, capable sweetheart you are, to make me spend without a stand-in. Judging by this performance, your stamina belongs in the summa class. How can you say it's only a magna plus?"

"I gave you a summa in my notebook and now you're doing the same thing for me! How quickly you've returned the compliment!"

"I was going to ask you," said Flora, "who crossed out those three names in your notebook and added that comment."

Vesperus was loath to tell her and pretended not to know.

"You may not want to say," said Flora, "but I can easily guess what happened. It was those three wenches, who think I'm old and have lost my looks and can't compare with them, so they liken themselves to Huaiyin and me to Jiang and Guan, as if to say they're ashamed to be ranked with me. Well, they may be a few years younger than I am and their skin a little softer, but I assure you that they're good for nothing but sitting there and letting you admire them. I doubt very much that they can equal this old lady when it comes to the real thing. On top of that, if you compared our vaginas, you'd find a similar difference in quality. I'll keep my feelings to myself for the present and not quarrel with them, but once we have some free time, I'll go over there and organize a contest. We'll all undress and have sex together in broad daylight. Each woman will show what she can do, and then we'll see whether youth or experience wins the day."

"You're right. They're young and untried and they do need an experienced hand to guide them. You should arrange a contest."

"That's for later. We can discuss it some other time. Let's think how to enjoy ourselves now."

It was getting late, so they dressed. Flora told the maids to prepare a formal dinner of welcome for Vesperus. She had an excellent capacity for wine, fully equal to his, and the two of them played guess-fingers and drinking games until the second watch had passed. By that time their feelings were so stirred by the wine that they went back to bed and began again. That evening saw Flora's long period of enforced celibacy come to an end. Her essence flowed easily, and she had no need to resort to her special methods.

Next day she arose and brought out her erotic albums and novels, which she had not looked at in years, and placed them on the table in readiness. She had four personal maids, all attractive, two of whom were sixteen or seventeen and, having lost their maidenheads, could accommodate him. The others, being fourteen or fifteen and still virgins, were useless, and Vesperus suggested that Flora send them to Satchel and let him break them in for several days and nights, in preparation for their role in arousing their mistress.

From this time on, Vesperus and Flora pursued their pleasures by night and day with the aid of all three methods. After he met Flora, Vesperus's enjoyment was of a different order from what it had been, and his knowledge was also greatly enhanced.

Flora worried that her nieces would come and ask for their property back, so from the moment the trunk arrived, she kept the side door locked and refused to open it no matter how loudly they clamored. On the fifth day of unrest, however, Vesperus felt sorry for them and tactfully pleaded their case to Flora, who was obliged to settle the issue by promising to return him in two days' time. With a definite date set for his return, the nieces ceased banging on the door.

Early on the eighth day Vesperus went to take leave of Flora, but found her still hoping for a delay. Fortunately he could be very persuasive and at length managed to leave.

When he walked through the side door, the sisters reacted as joyfully as if the sun had dropped down from the sky. "How have you enjoyed yourself the last few nights?" they asked, after greeting him. "What's the old baggage keen on? Did you ever touch bottom or reach dry land?"

To avert their jealousy, Vesperus muted his praise, mentioning only Flora's three methods of arousal in the hope that her nieces might emulate her. He also mentioned her suggestion about the contest, to encourage them to do their best and not be deterred from "showing their superiority simply because they were a little younger."

"In that case," said Cloud, "she'll allow us to go first so that she can share in everyone else's pleasure and then enjoy hers all on her own. But let's not worry about her pleasure, let's go first ourselves and try something on. So long as we do it quietly, with no sound from down there or up here, she'll lose her advantage, fail to get aroused, and be caught in her own trap. What do you think?"

"In my opinion," said Lucky Jade, "we should not let her choose, but insist that, since she's our aunt, naturally she has to go first. Then, when she has had rather a poor time of it, it will be our turn and we'll make a point of crying out in order to get her worked up. By that time she won't be able to do it again or even to stand the sound of it, and she'll simply die of frustration! Nothing would give me greater pleasure!"

"There's a lot to be said for both ideas," said Lucky Pearl, "but I'm afraid she'll come up with some other trick and we won't be able to use them. I suggest we wait until the time comes and watch out for an opening."

"You're right," said the others.

Proceeding according to the established order, each of them slept one night with him and then, on the fourth night, just as they were looking forward to a combined event, a note arrived from Flora proposing the contest. She also sent along one tael as her share of the expenses, together with instructions for the party, which, she suggested, would be enjoyable only if there were wine on hand as well as sex.

"It's lucky she's coming today," said one, as they consulted together, "on one of our combination days! 'Adding another guest, but not killing another chicken,' as the saying goes. Let her come. It'll be hectic in bed and she'll get only a small share of the real thing. We'll be doing her a pretty useless favor."

We shall respectfully follow your instructions, they wrote in reply.

Since Flora was their senior, why did she go to her nieces' place rather than have them over to hers, you ask. You should realize that Flora had a nine-year-old son, who, for all his youth, was highly intelligent. When she entertained Vesperus in her house, the boy saw nothing, but if a man were to be carousing and cavorting there with four women, she could hardly hide the fact from him, and it would be embarrassing if he noticed. Her nieces had no children, so all they had to do was shut the door and no one would be any the wiser. That was why Flora sacrificed seniority to expediency and consented to join them.

Not long after they had sent their reply, she arrived for the party. Vesperus noticed a bulge in one of her sleeves as if she had something hidden there.

"What do you have up your sleeve?" he asked. "Not Mr. Horn, by any chance?"

Flora shook her head. "No, but something just as amusing. It's for looking at while drinking or having sex, so I brought it along in case we needed it." She took it out and showed them. It was a pack of erotic playing cards.

"Normally these things are just for amusement," said Vesperus, "but we do have a use for them in our contest today. Let's not look at them now, but wait until the wine takes effect. Then each of you must pick a card and act out with me whatever it shows."

"Exactly what I had in mind," remarked Flora.

"In that case," said Cloud, "let's look at them first. If we understand what they are, we'll be able to act them out better when the time comes."

"Very well," said Vesperus, placing them in front of Flora. His idea was to have the more experienced woman take the lead and offer her guidance to the others.

"I've seen them many times," said Flora, "and I'm quite familiar with their techniques. I'm no sudden convert, I assure you. I'll stand aside and let the girls take the test on their own."

The three young women laughed and, spreading out the cards, scrutinized them one by one. But when they came to a card that showed a young woman lying on an ornamental rock and raising her buttocks in anal sex with a man, they put their hands over their mouths and giggled.

"Whatever is this position? Why would anyone go in for such disgusting behavior instead of doing it the wholesome way?"

"Which one is that?" asked Flora. "Let me see."

Cloud handed it to her. "This method is taken from literature," Flora announced after a glance. "Surely you know that?"

"Where is it from? We're not at all clear," said Cloud.

"From a work called I Want to Get Married. Have you read it?"

"No. Please tell us about it."

"There was once a beautiful girl who lived next door to a handsome student. The student fell sick because of his love for the girl and asked someone to go to her and give her the following message: 'If I could meet you just once, I'd die content. I wouldn't dream of doing anything improper.'

"The girl was so affected by his pathetic plea that she felt obliged to consent. When they met, she sat on his lap and let him hug, fondle, and kiss her to his heart's content; but she would not let him have sex. When he asked, she told him, 'I want to get married, so it's out of the question.' The student, who was by now in a state of intolerable frustration, knelt down and begged her, but she still refused, repeating the words, 'I want to get married,' and adding, 'The reason you wished to meet me was that I'm pretty and you wanted to fulfill your deepest desire by being close to me and touching me. Now that I'm sitting on your lap letting you fondle me all over, you can fulfill your desire. Why do you have to ruin me? I want to keep my maidenhead and become a bride one day. It may not matter now if I lose it, but when I get married, should my husband notice, I'll never be able to hold up my head again as long as I live. It's out of the question.'

"'But when a man has intercourse with a woman,' said the student, 'this three-inch thing has to go in there for it to count as love. Otherwise they're nothing more than strangers. No matter how close our bodies are, no matter how we touch, my heart's desire will never be fulfilled.' This time he knelt down and refused to get up.

"Unable to withstand his pleas, the girl hung her head in thought and came up with a stopgap solution. 'I want to get married,' she said, 'and so I definitely cannot let you do this. But what would you say if I found something else for you?' 'What else is there, apart from this?' 'You'll have to try the back instead of the front and satisfy your heart's desire by putting your three-inch thing in there. That's my last word on the subject!'

"Daunted by her firm tone, the student could protest no more, but accepted the stopgap solution and began to copulate with her by treating the rear courtyard as if it were the front. This method is taken from that story. How can you be so ignorant, not to have read such a good book?"

Her nieces were upset by her supercilious tone and apprehensive lest she put on airs during the sex itself, so they dropped the cards and withdrew for consultation, united in their desire to take her down a peg.

The three days Flora had been parted from Vesperus seemed like nine years to her, and she could hardly wait for the others to withdraw before beginning to pet. They had embraced and exchanged kisses and endearments before the other women returned and told the maids to set out the wine.

Vesperus sat at the head of the table, with Flora opposite him and the young women on either side. After several rounds of drinks, Flora had the cards brought in so that each of them could pick one and serve the wine accordingly. Her nieces objected: "After looking at the cards, we'll be so distracted by thoughts of sex that we won't be able to touch the wine. Let's play some other game now, drink until the wine takes effect, and then bring out the cards. There'll be nothing to stop us from both serving wine and having sex as shown on the cards."

"You're right," said Vesperus. Lucky Pearl passed over the dice box and called on Vesperus to start.

"It's too much effort playing dice," he said. "Why don't we play Prima guess-fingers, [84] to settle the order for the wine now and the sex later. What do you say, ladies?"

Flora, who knew her Classic of Guess-fingers by heart, beamed at this suggestion; she could hardly wait to be declared Prima in order to put them all in their places. The only thing that bothered her was the thought that if she won, she would have to have sex first, even though she was the one who needed to hear other people's cries. How could she bear to be in the vanguard? She was in a quandary.

"The order we do it in," she said to Vesperus at last, "need not be the order we finish in. Let it be up to the Prima to decide whether she goes first or last."

"Very well," said Vesperus.

That settled, they extended five snow-white fists and began to play, beginning with Vesperus and ending with Lucky Jade. Flora was indeed an expert and quickly won first place. As Prima, she did not wait to see who would become Secunda and Tertia, but immediately issued an order: "Since I am Prima, I will be Magister Ludi. Not only must the Old Scholar pass my test, even Secunda and Tertia must accept my rulings. Anyone who disobeys will have to drink a large cup as forfeit."

"In that case," said Vesperus, "may I ask that you post your rules well in advance, so that they are laid down once and for all and there is no room for any doubt or suspicion."

"With regard to the number of cups," said Flora, "we'll start with Prima and go as far as Tertia, increasing the amounts as we go. The Old Scholar will stand to one side and hold the winepot. [85] She is entitled to pour but not to drink. The order for sex will be exactly the opposite, running from Tertia to Prima, again increasing the amounts as we go. The Old Scholar will stand to one side and remain strictly neutral, permitted to wipe up but not take part."

"Those rules are all very fine," said Vesperus, "but you haven't thought them through. If by some chance your humble servant becomes the Old Scholar and cannot take part, none of you will be able to do a thing. What then? Won't you be falling foul of your own laws?"

"Of course, but I've already thought of that. You'll be exempt from the examination. I'm appointing you Overseer, for assignment later."

"But then I'll be able to take part in the sex and not in the drinking!"

"You will get more wine than ever," said Flora. "When Prima drinks, you'll drink with her, and when Secunda and Tertia drink, you'll drink with them. But you're not to put yourself out for the Old Scholar, who will be serving us, or it will mean a large forfeit."

"I'll have to push myself to the limit to keep up with all three of you! It doesn't bother me at all that the Old Scholar isn't competing. Let her suffer!" said Vesperus.

Although the sisters had given their aunt a wry look or two, they had allowed her to go on issuing orders without raising any objections. Fortunately they had foreseen the problem and held their conclave, at which they had come up with a brilliant plan. But they kept it to themselves, uncertain whether they would have a chance to apply it.

"You are the Overseer," they said to Vesperus. "You ought to make your presence felt when the Magister Ludi is being unfair and impeach her instead of toadying to the old tyrant. If she goes on like this, we shall make a big fuss and reject her authority altogether."

"If I'm acting unfairly," said Flora, "there's no need for the Overseer to impeach me. Just make the charges openly and, if they are sustained, I'll drink a forfeit."

Having set the rules, Flora exempted Vesperus and told the three girls to compete again, which they did, finishing, as if by supernatural means, in precisely the order of their seniority: Cloud as Secunda, Lucky Pearl as Tertia, and Lucky Jade, who was too delicate for vigorous sex anyway, as the Old Scholar. (She was the only candidate who hadn't passed, so it was appropriate that she humble herself and, as the youngest, take on the burden when there was work to be done.) [86]

When the game was over, Flora called upon Lucky Jade to serve the wine, one cup for her, two cups for Cloud, and three for Lucky Pearl, all of whom were accompanied in their drinking by Vesperus. Then, when they had drunk the wine, she ordered Lucky Jade to shuffle the cards and place them on the table, after which she was to stand to one side in a neutral position, ready to wipe up while the others had sex. Jade did not dare disobey, but did as she was told.

"With the first of us," Flora said to Vesperus, issuing her orders again, "you'll be restricted to one hundred strokes and with the second to two hundred. If you are one stroke over or under the count, you'll drink a forfeit accordingly. It's entirely their luck if they spend; you are not responsible for seeing to it. After that it will be my turn. The Magister Ludi is in a different position from the other players. No matter how many strokes it takes, you must go on until I spend. In the first two cases the score will be kept by the Old Scholar, and any discrepancy will be punished."

She turned to her nieces. "Pick up the top card and follow the method shown on it. Whether it's to your liking or not is all a matter of luck; you can't change cards. To pass, you need to imitate the model exactly. The slightest discrepancy will be punished with a wine forfeit as well as a reduction in the number of strokes."

"If we don't imitate the model, of course we'll drink a forfeit," said Lucky Pearl. "But what happens if the Magister Ludi fails?"

"If she fails, she will have to drink three forfeit cups and repeat the test until she passes."

"In that case the top card is mine," said Lucky Pearl.

"Correct," said Flora.

The card Lucky Pearl picked up showed a woman lying on a bed with her legs apart but not raised in the air and a man's body some three feet away. He was supporting himself with his arms and facing her as he thrust-a position known as The Dragonfly Skims the Surface. Having offered the card in evidence, Lucky Pearl set to work to imitate it. Stripping off her trousers, she lay on the bed while Vesperus mounted her and played the dragonfly, skimming madly without pause. Lucky Pearl was intent on pleasing the Magister Ludi and getting her excited, so she did not wait to feel pleasure before crying out. For every skim she gave a cry, and then, after sixty or seventy, she began giving several cries to each skim, until Vesperus reached his quota and stopped.

"Now it's my turn," said Cloud, picking up the next card. It showed a woman lying on a lounge chair and a man standing in front of it with her feet over his shoulders. He was support ing himself with his arms on the chair and pushing vigorously-a position known as Pushing the Boat Downstream.

Placing the card in evidence, she lay on the lounge chair and imitated the position with Vesperus. Her cries were quite different from Pearl's, however. Since a boat is easy to push downstream, the water rushing past tends to produce sounds from under the bows that, swelling together with those from beneath the hull, are delightful to listen to, are they not? [87] And if they were delightful to listen to, you may be sure that Cloud's expression was something to behold.

When Flora had eavesdropped on lewd cries before, the girl had been hidden from sight; she had never actually seen anyone's expression in the moment of rapture. Now she not only heard something she had never heard before, she also saw something she had never seen, and her sexual excitement was far more intense than on those occasions when she had signaled her readiness with a cough. She could wait not a moment longer.

As soon as Cloud had received her complement, Flora stood up. "Now it's the Magister Ludi's turn. Move aside and let me on stage."

As she picked up a card with one hand, her other hand was already at her trousers, undoing her belt. But when she looked at the card, her face blanched in fear and the hand with the card in it sagged limply to her side. "We can't use this one," she declared. "I'll have to change it."

Her nieces were up in arms. First they hid the rest of the cards, then they came and looked at the one she had chosen. What position did it show, do you suppose? None other than that of the story I Want to Get Married, the technique in which the woman raises her buttocks in the air and engages in anal sex with her partner.

How can such a coincidence be accounted for? Of all the cards, how was it that she picked this particular one? In fact the coincidence was the result of the young women's plan. They had assumed it would fall to one of them to shuffle the cards and had marked this one so that it could be dealt to their aunt. When Flora ruled that the Magister Ludi would go last, Lucky Jade, in shuffling the cards, had put this one third from the top, and Flora had duly picked it up. However, the coincidence may not have been entirely the result of human ingenuity. Excess of any kind is anathema to the Creator, and Flora's overweening arrogance may also have played a part in her downfall.

After inspecting the card, the three urged her to take off her trousers, but she adamantly refused. "I appeal to you to consider whether it is even feasible-especially with that object of his. Just think a moment."

"Out of the question!" they replied. "We're all in the same boat. If we'd picked up that card, would you have let us off? Moreover, you were the one who ruled that we were not to change cards. The methods on the cards were familiar to you and you alone; we were totally ignorant, remember? If you thought this method so impossible, why didn't you remove the card? Now that you've taken it, there's nothing more to be said. Come on, off with your trousers, or we'll shame you by pulling them off."

"A fine Overseer you are!" they said, turning to Vesperus. "Why don't you say or do something? Do we have to strip her and hand her over to you?"

"It's not that I'm playing favorites," said Vesperus. "The trouble is that her behind cannot take this thing of mine. We ought to allow her another means of reparation and let her drink a few extra cups of wine instead."

"Utter rot!" they retorted. "If wine can substitute for sex, we would have opted for it, too. None of us is so shameless as to want to undress and make a spectacle of herself."

Vesperus saw that the three sisters were adamant. Even Flora hung her head in despair, at a loss for words.

"There's nothing else for it," said Vesperus. "But let me ask you ladies to allow her a way out and not be too strict. Let her take down her trousers and give a token demonstration only."

But Cloud and Lucky Jade would allow no substitutions. They accepted no leniency and were still insisting on actual sex when Lucky Pearl gave them a broad wink. "All we need is a token demonstration," said Pearl. "We certainly won't insist on a strict application of the law."

"That's easily settled, then," said Vesperus, seizing Flora and trying to pull down her trousers. At first she stubbornly refused, but she could not hold out against his entreaties and at length grudgingly consented, removing her trousers and lying facedown on the lounge chair. He took out his penis, wiped a good deal of spit on it, and tapped it once on the outside of her anus. Flora began to squeal and tried to get up, refusing to let him proceed.

All this while the three wicked young women had been waiting there with their murderous hands at the ready. The words Lucky Pearl had accompanied with a wink had been designed to trick Flora into taking off her trousers, and now that she had done so and was lying on the chair, they came forward. One held her head down, while a second held her hands fast, preventing her not only from getting up and escaping but even from changing her position or twisting her buttocks to one side. And the third, the wickedest of all, hid behind Vesperus and chose the very moment when he was tapping at her anus to give him a mighty shove, driving his penis in to fully half its length, whereupon she wrapped her arms around his waist and pushed and pulled while Flora squealed like a slaughtered pig and cried over and over, "Spare me! Spare me!"

"It's no laughing matter when someone's life is at stake!" said Vesperus. "Have mercy!"

She ruled that the Magister Ludi was in a different position from the rest of us. No matter how many strokes it took, you were to go on until she spent. Ask her if she's spent or not."

"I've spent! I've spent!" said Flora. Because she was so obviously in distress, and because Vesperus kept imploring them, her nieces had to let her go.

When she got up, she looked like a corpse. Unable to speak and unsteady on her feet, she had to call a maid to come and help her home.

Later her anus swelled up, she had bouts of fever and shivering, and had to keep to her bed for three or four days, just as if she had suffered a major illness.

Afterward, although bitterly resentful, she was so eager to join in their activities that she could not afford to remain hostile. As the old saying goes, "If you want to be friends with someone, first take him to court." The aunt and her nieces had been at loggerheads, but following this quarrel they patched up their friendship and the one man and four women shared the same bed and enjoyed pleasures too numerous to recount.

Vesperus had arranged with Fragrance to stay away no more than three months so as to be back in time for the baby's birth. But he had been so preoccupied with sex that he had quite forgotten his promise, and by the time he recalled it, the three months had elapsed. He sent Satchel off to inquire and found that Fragrance had given birth to twin girls. Flora and the sisters contributed to a party in Vesperus's honor and celebrated with him for several days before sending him on his way.

Fragrance was afraid the babies would be a burden to her and prevent her from enjoying herself, so the moment they were born, she hired two wet nurses to look after them at home. As a result she was leading as carefree a life as if she had never given birth and, when Vesperus walked in one month later, she promptly called on him to draw up his forces and engage her in battle again. She was intent on collecting all of the accumulated debts she was owed. How could she have foreseen that "the people were exhausted and the treasury was bare," and that he could not even raise an army?

What was the reason? For four or five months now Vesperus, a lone male, had been pitted against four women. What's more, he had indulged his debaucheries by day as well as by night. Even an iron penis would have been worn down by such an ordeal, even a river of semen would have been sucked dry. How could he be anything else but debilitated in body and mind? A few months away from her, and she was forced to look at him with an entirely different eye! From that moment forward Fragrance deeply regretted what she had done.