The Carnival Master

3.

The last bucket had been filled with iced water. The shock after the hot water had robbed Maria of her breath – and, for several seconds, of her consciousness. When she came round her heart was hammering and intense pain shot through her left arm and across her chest. She had heard of people dying from heart attacks in cold plunge pools after too long in the sauna. What she had experienced had been the same experience amplified a hundredfold. The pain eased, but she knew that her heart probably would not withstand many more of these temperature shocks. Maria was also aware that she had lost even more body heat. Her mind was becoming fuzzy.

Vitrenko stood over her. She looked up at him and, for a second, saw his former face and gold-blond hair. Then the illusion faded. His hair darkened, his face reshaped around the unchanging eyes. He crouched down and grabbed a handful of her short dyed-black hair, snapping her head back and forcing her to look at him.

‘How did it feel to be someone else, Maria?’ Vitrenko’s emerald eyes glittered hard and cold in his new face. ‘It’s liberating, isn’t it? For a while you actually do become the person you pretend to be. You thought you had got to know Taras Buslenko. Oh yes, he does exist. Or at least he did. Like you, Buslenko took everything far too seriously. This is just business. But Buslenko was an eager young fool. A patriot. He was full of all kinds of romantic ideals about what Ukraine could be. And, just like you, he made it his personal mission to find me and kill me. So everything I said to you… all that really was him. He lived again through me. In a way, you really did get to know the real Buslenko. What’s it like to get to know a dead man?’ Vitrenko let go of Maria’s hair and her head fell forward. ‘You wanted to kill me too, didn’t you, Maria? You wanted it so badly that you were prepared to sacrifice your life to take mine. But the real Maria Klee wasn’t up to the task, was she? First you had to become someone else. And the reason you had to do that is that you were too broken and too afraid before. But I’ll tell you something right now: the old Maria was right. You should have stayed afraid.’

‘I need to sleep…’ was all Maria managed to utter.

‘Okay,’ said Vitrenko. He smiled and suddenly his voice became warm and friendly. Vitrenko became Buslenko again. ‘I’ll let you sleep, Maria. With blankets to keep you cosy. Out there, outside the cold store, in the warm. I’ll give you a hot drink before you sleep. The access codes… all you have to do is give me the access codes or tell me where they are and I’ll allow you out of here and let you get some sleep.’

Maria became aware that she had stopped shivering. She was beginning to feel warmer. Even more sleepy. Her leaden eyelids slowly succumbed to gravity. She was going to cheat Vitrenko. Her eyes snapped open as he slapped her hard across the face.

‘Maria – stay awake. If you fall asleep in here, you’ll die. Out there… out there you can sleep and live. Tell me the access codes.’

‘I forget…’ Maria’s eyes started to close again. Vitrenko started to shout and Maria vaguely thought that that was what swearing must sound like in Ukrainian. She felt his boot smash into her ribs, but she was too sleepy and already too distant from her own flesh to feel any pain.

Maria closed her eyes and slept.