The Cat Who Had 60 Whiskers

FOUR

Qwilleran ended his Tuesday column with a few “Famous Last Words” submitted by readers. These folk gems of humor arrived in the mailroom of theSomething —on government postcards. Reader participation was a healthy sign for a small-town paper, and the “Famous Last Words” obviously came from all walks of life. Almost all were printable, and the best would be published in book form, it was promised, with proceeds going to some worthy cause. The latest were:

“My new kitten is adorable…and they assure me he’s housebroken.”

“I haven’t had a drink for five years…so it won’t hurt to have a little nip.”

“My dog likes to play rough…and he never bites!”

“I’m sorry, Officer…I thought I had the green light.”

When Qwilleran delivered his Tuesday copy to the office of theSomething, he walked down the long hall of the building and could hear the editor in chief shouting behind closed doors. It was the kind of angry shouting that is usually accompanied by waving arms. There was no clue as to which staff member was getting a roasting.

Qwilleran stopped in the food editor’s office. “What did you give your husband for breakfast, Mildred?”

“Tell you later! I’m on deadline!” She waved him away.

“What happened?” Qwilleran asked one of the reporters.

“Clarissa Moore went home to Indiana to attend a funeral, and this morning she sent a wire: She’s not coming back! Arch is wild, and I don’t blame him,” the reporter said. “For a J student right out of college, she got a lot of breaks here.”

Qwilleran had done his part to encourage the novice, and although she was agood feature writer, she was hardly good enough to be forgiven for such cavalier behavior.

Qwilleran asked, “Does anyone know if she took her cat? If she took Jerome, she knew she was going for good; otherwise, she would have left him in her apartment with her neighbors.” He made a mental note to ask Judd Amhurst at the Winston Park apartments.

He disliked unanswered questions.

Deadline for the Tuesday Qwill Pen was twelve noon, and Qwilleran filed his copy with the managing editor according to custom—not late, but not too early either.

Junior Goodwinter glanced at the transcript and rang for the copy boy, and said, “Do you know a feature writer we could hire? Jill Handley won’t be back from maternity leave for a few months.”

“How about running a series of guest features? Make it sound like an honor instead of an emergency, and they’ll be vying for the privilege. For their cooperation you can make a contribution to their favorite charity. It would be invitational, of course. I can think of a dozen names without even trying. Bill Turmeric, Dr. Abernathy, Mavis Adams, Dr. Connie Cosgrove, Wetherby Goode, Thornton Haggis, Judd Amhurst, Polly Duncan—”

“Stop! I think it might work!”

“Whannell MacWhannell,” Qwilleran went on. “His wife, the astrologer. Silas Dingwall. Maggie Sprenkle can write about the animal welfare program….”

“How about setting it up for us?” Junior asked.

Qwilleran said, “I’m a columnist, I don’t do setup.”

Qwilleran went home to give the cats their noontime treat and consider his own problem: how to write a column on the Old Manse for Friday’s Qwill Pen.

His pet theory about the Manse and the Hawthorne book remained to be tested, and the sooner the better. The attorney had been frank about the mansion’s personnel, but it wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion.

Maggie and her late husband had owned the estate adjoining the Ledfields’. They had dined together frequently, and Maggie could probably give him some tips.

Qwilleran phoned Maggie and was offered: a nice cup of tea! He said he would come up right away. (Someday the Qwill Pen would address the question of tea—and the difference between an ordinary cup of tea and a nice one.)

He biked to the rear of the Sprenkle Building and was admitted to the small elevator lobby, just large enough for his British Silverlight.

The upstairs apartment—over the insurance and real estate offices—was of Victorian splendor. The five front windows were occupied by Maggie’s five “ladies” from the animal shelter. Tea was ready to be poured.

After the niceties, Qwilleran broached his idea for the Old Manse column. She thought it was splendid.

He stated his case, and the practical octogenarian said, “I never heard Nathan claim a connection between his grandfather and the author…but he neverdisclaimed one either!”

“Mr. Barter advised me to arrange an appointment with Miss James or Miss Babcock.”

She paused significantly. “I think…you would find Daisy Babcock…amenable to your idea. She’s a lovely girl. Alma Lee is a little…starchy,although I must admit she’s an encyclopedia of information on Georgian silver and eighteenth-century crystal. She’s not there every day, so you have to make an appointment. She spends three days a week in Lockmaster, where her parents have a gallery of art and antiques.”

She said more, but Qwilleran had made up his mind to choose Daisy. He said, “The Ledfields have been very generous to the community.”

“Nathan was always a good and generous soul. There was a couple that worked for him—Mr. and Mrs. Simms, and they were killed in an auto accident, leaving a seven-year-old daughter. Nathan found a good home for her with a family at the church. But he also kept in touch with her, checking her report card at every marking and giving her gifts for birthdays and Christmas—nothing inappropriately expensive but useful and thoughtful. After high school he put her through business school and then hired her to handle his correspondence and personal expenses.”

“Where is she now?” Qwilleran asked.

“His will stipulated that Libby Simms should continue to handle his private matters. He made sure that his lawyers knew her position in the family.”

“A touching story,” Qwilleran murmured. “How old is she now?”

“Early twenties, I think. But this illustrates the Ledfields: fondness for children and their sorrow over not having any of their own.”

When Qwilleran phoned the Old Manse to request a tour of the building, he had his strategy planned.

He talked to a cheery individual whom he rightly guessed to be Daisy. Informed when Miss James would be in town, he scheduled an appointment for the day of her absence, saying he was on deadline.

Daisy said she could conduct him through the building the next day.

That evening at elevenP .M. it was Qwilleran’s turn to phone Polly with news.

“I’m interviewing Daisy tomorrow. Have you met her?”

“Yes, she’s friendlier than the other one. Married to one of the Linguini sons…Their parents retired from the restaurant business and now live in Florida, although they visit Italy every summer. The sons preferred a party store to a restaurant, and I don’t blame them!”

Qwilleran said, “Their store is the only place I can buy Squunk water by the case, and they deliver!”

“Are you looking forward to visiting the Old Manse, Qwill? I wish, now, that I had accepted Doris Ledfield’s invitations….”

He said, “Do you think it’s crazy to think that Nathan’s grandfather might have have been inspired by Hawthorne’s book?”

“Not at all.Mosses from an Old Manse was much revered in the days when the house was being built….”

“Do you know what I heard today? Nathan’s will stipulated that some of his small collectibles should be gradually sold off to provide ongoing funds for child welfare.”

And so it went until it was time for“À bientôt.”

He combedMosses from an Old Manse for details that might appear in the Ledfields’ Old Manse. He had read the book twice before—once in college and once when he received a copy from the library of the fabulous Agatha Burns.

Agatha was a favorite name in Moose County; after all, the great teacher had lived to be a hundred and had inspired several generations.

Late that evening—after the Siamese were escorted to their quarters on the third balcony, and after Qwilleran had treated himself to a dish of ice cream—he wrote in his journal:

Today I found another clue to the Mystery of the Corrugated Box!

First, I had brought it home from Edd Smith’s Place, full of fine old books donated by the Campbells in Purple Point, and Koko went crazy, not over the books but over the box! Why?

Investigation indicated that the Campbells had bought something from the Ledfields, and it came packed in the large brown corrugated box. Now we hear that valuable items are being sold at the bequest of the Ledfield will!

I brought the box from the tool shed, where it sported a do-not-discard sign. I brought it in for Koko’s scrutiny, and he went wild again! Why?

The Ledfields had no indoor pets, I’m told. Was there some other kind of aroma that might tickle Koko’s whiskers? If so, what?

When I return from my assignment at the Old Manse tomorrow,will that cat know where I’ve been ?

Tune in for the next installment.

As he wrote, Qwilleran became aware of thundering paws coming down the ramp from the third balcony. Koko had opened his bedroom door by hanging on the lever-type door handle, a technique he used in emergencies. At the same time Qwilleran heard fire sirens, and from the kitchen window could be seen a pink glow in the dark sky visible above the treetops. Another siren sounded—then another. It sounded like a serious conflagration downtown!

Qwilleran grabbed the phone and called the night desk at the newspaper. “This is Qwill! Where’s the fire?”

“Downtown! The Old Hulk! Can’t talk now!” He hung up with a bang.

Qwilleran phoned the McBee farm on the back road, where both the farmer and his brother were volunteer firemen.

Mrs. McBee said, “It’s awful! Someone torched the Old Hulk!”

After talking to Mrs. McBee, Qwilleran wrote in his journal:

The Old Hulk is a big wooden box on the southwest edge of Pickax with the height of a five-story building and the shape of a coffin. No windows. It was once a depot and warehouse for feed and seed, and farmers came in horse-drawn wagons from three counties to stock up. The interior was a series of lofts connected by ramps. With the advent of paved roads and motor vehicles it was replaced by smaller depots around the county, but the dirty-tan exterior still saidFEED AND SEED across the top in letters four feet high, and the eyesore became lovingly known as the Old Hulk. And the stories they tell about it are nothing you would want to tell to your kids and mother-in-law.

Despite the building’s appearance and reputation, no one wanted the city to tear it down. But now it has burned down!