The Child Who

12

It had not worked. It always worked. Think of an outcome: the worst thing that could happen or the most unlikely or even, sometimes, the thing you most wanted to take place – and it would not. That was the rule. So sometimes it worked to spite you and sometimes it worked as a ward but it always, one way or another, worked.

Except it had not.

The envelope had been tucked amid the pile of letters. Leo had been late after spending most of the day out of the office, so he had carried the pile into the meeting room. He had shuffled and shuffled again and as he had backed himself blindly into his seat, there it was. Just where he had expected it to be and just, therefore, where it should not have been.

‘Leonard?’

‘Mm.’

‘Leonard.’

Leo looked up. ‘What? Yes. Sorry, I…’

Howard smiled his concern.

‘Sorry,’ said Leo, more decisively. He slid the pile of mail below the table and into his lap, his thumbs pinning the topmost envelope in place. Beneath them, and beneath its outer skin, the note seared.

‘So what do you think?’

Leo could not resist peeking. The question, though, registered and he glanced up to see who would answer. Alan, John, Terry, Howard; even Jenny, seated between Leo and their boss and jotting minutes on a notepad: everyone present had their gaze fixed on him.

‘Me?’

There was laughter, not all of it kind.

‘You are fairly central to the proposal, Leonard. But if you feel it would make you uncomfortable…’

‘What? No. Of course not. Um. If what would make me uncomfortable?’

Terry turned and muttered. Howard spoke over him.

‘The feature, Leonard. The interview.’

The words resonated. On their way into the room, someone had been talking about an article. For a newspaper – or a magazine? The Lawyer was it? The Law Society Gazette?

‘Well,’ Leo said, as though considering. ‘What would be the focus, exactly?’

Jenny looked down at her notes. Howard simply stared.

‘Honestly, Leo,’ said Terry. ‘I hope you pay closer attention in meetings with clients.’

More laughter. A ‘quite’. Leo felt himself flush.

‘Let’s recap,’ said Howard. ‘Shall we? It’s exciting news so I’m not exactly loath to repeat it.’ He turned to Leo. ‘Although I do hope once more will be enough.’

Leo, in spite of himself, was slinking another glance at the envelope. He pressed it flat with his palms, tweaked his frown and aimed it at his boss.

‘The Gazette, Leo, has approached us with a suggestion for a feature. Small firm, big case: that sort of thing. They won’t mention anything too specific, of course, but they’ll want to talk to you. They’ll want to photograph you. As well as the rest of us, naturally. We wouldn’t want you stealing all the glory.’ Howard twinkled and Jenny tittered. Terry, from his expression, seemed not to appreciate the joke.

‘Well,’ said Leo. ‘I see.’

Howard extended a finger. ‘It’s only the Gazette, I realise, but you know how these things tend to get picked up. It would be an excellent opportunity for this firm, Leonard. And for yourself, of course. A clipping for the curriculum vitae.’

Terry did not miss a beat. ‘Watch out, Leo. It’s not a good sign when your boss starts mentioning your CV.’

There was laughter. Leo ignored it. ‘It sounds great, Howard. It really does. Although I think perhaps I should check with Meg. It’s only the Gazette, as you say, but this case… It’s…Well… There have been certain… pressures.’

‘Check with Megan,’ said Howard. ‘By all means. But it would be a shame to pass up the opportunity.’ His boss, suddenly, looked like a child denied Christmas.

‘No, of course. I mean, I’m not saying she’ll have a problem with it. Not at all. Quite the opposite, probably.’

‘Well then,’ said Howard, once again displaying his ivory. ‘That’s settled then. Is it? Provisionally, shall we say.’

‘Provisionally. Yes. Okay.’

‘They’ll be here a week on Thursday,’ said Howard. ‘At ten o’clock.’ And he flipped to the next page of the agenda.

‘That’s not what I’m saying, Terry.’

‘It’s what I heard, Leo. It’s what everyone – ’ Terry turned left, right ‘ – in this meeting room heard.’

Leo regarded the faces regarding his. He’s right, they seemed to say: that is what we heard.

‘Well, it’s not what I meant. What I meant was—’

‘You remember what he did, Leo – don’t you? This “kid”.’ He pronounced the inverted commas. ‘This “child” you keep mentioning?’

‘All I meant was—’

‘Because it sounds to me like maybe you’ve forgotten. Like maybe you’ve lost track of—’

‘All I meant was,’ said Leo and his volume commanded a silence. ‘There are other considerations. He’s twelve years old. It complicates things.’

Terry made a noise.

‘I’m sorry, Terry, but it does. We have different options. We have different priorities. Different problems, too,’ Leo added, more quietly.

‘We?’

‘Yes, Terry: we. I am his solicitor, you know.’

‘His solicitor. Right. Because all I’m saying is, it sounds to me like maybe you’ve convinced yourself you’re more than that.’

Leo felt his back stiffen. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Gentlemen,’ said Howard, reaching both hands towards the centre of the table. ‘Perhaps we could try and keep this civil. Let’s remember there’s a lady present, shall we?’

Jenny looked down.

‘And anyway,’ Leo persisted. He had the stack of letters in his hand and the envelopes were crumpling in his grip. ‘What’s so contemptible about feeling sorry for him? It doesn’t mean I condone what he did. It doesn’t mean I’m looking to excuse it.’

‘Diminished responsibility, Leo? What’s that if not an excuse?’

Leo affected astonishment. He cast his expression around the table, then settled it on Terry. ‘Am I missing something?’ he said. ‘Is there something about representing a client I’ve fundamentally misunderstood?’

‘Gentlemen!’

‘You tell us, Leo,’ said Terry. ‘Think about it, then come back and tell us.’

‘Gentlemen,’ said Howard again. He pressed his teeth and his jaw bulged. ‘Let’s move on, shall we?’

Something about paper. Re-using it, not using it, the dream – impossible though it might sound – of a paperless office.

Leo tuned in, out. Out, mostly, but he was wary of being caught not paying attention again so he was making an effort not to lose pace entirely with the drift of the discussion. The lecture, rather: Howard’s rant. The theme was familiar, though, and the message predictable so while the others bobbed their accord and doodled, meanwhile, on paper they were meant to be conserving, Leo worked slowly, soundlessly, on the seal of the envelope.

Except he was getting nowhere. The envelope was gummed as though with superglue and there was no opening into which he could work his little finger. He picked with his nail but in truth, since the start of the case, he had no nails left – just raw, fleshy pads that were about as much use in this situation as his toes.

Except maybe… He had a corner. Did he? It was difficult to tell without looking but it definitely felt like… He did. An opening. Just big enough to—

‘Shit!’

‘Leo?’

‘Shit!’

‘What?’

Blood.

‘Ow!’

Shit. Blood. Ow. Ow!

He stood. The others stared: at him; at the blood, when they noticed it, that was flowing from his fingers.

‘Shit,’ said Leo again. ‘Jesus, ow!’ He had dropped all the envelopes except the one that had bitten him. And it had felt exactly like that: like a mouth with razor teeth had taken a bloody great bite.

‘Christ, Leo,’ said Terry.

Jenny was standing at Leo’s side. Howard was standing, barely, at hers. From the colour of his face, the blood on the floor might have been his.

‘I’m fine,’ said Leo, turning away. ‘It’s just, I don’t know.’ He lifted the envelope. ‘A paper cut or something.’ The hole he had dug into the seal was the colour of an open wound. It sparkled, though. It grinned.

‘That’s quite a paper cut,’ someone said.

‘Here,’ said someone else and a handkerchief appeared in Leo’s eye line. ‘Let me take that,’ the same voice said but Leo snatched the envelope away. He stuffed it, blood and all, into his trouser pocket.

‘It’s fine,’ he said. ‘Thanks. I’ll just…’ He bundled his bleeding fingers in the handkerchief and tipped his head towards the door.

‘Go,’ Howard managed. ‘Please.’

Leo went. Through the doors and past the empty desks and into the nearest toilet. He spun the tap and winced as the water sunk into the wound.

His finger was shredded. There was not one cut but several: a mesh of interlinked scores that seemed colourless beneath the water but bulged red as soon as he withdrew his finger from the icy flow. Leo reached across himself for a strip of toilet paper and had to tug twice, three times, to snap it from the roll. He ended up with far more tissue than he thought he needed but it quickly became sodden around his finger. With his good hand he squeezed. He counted, waiting until the blood and the pain subsided, then shifted. Gingerly, he pulled the crumpled envelope from his pocket.

The grin was glass: crystals the size of sea salt dusted along the envelope’s rim. Incongruously, Leo thought of Ellie; of the pictures, not so long ago it seemed, that she would often bring home from school – seascapes stuck with sand or Christmas cards sprinkled with glitter. The glass on the note had been applied using the same technique, Leo realised. There was something juvenile too, it struck him, about the way the note writer had chosen to demonstrate his malice.

He had keys. He unsnagged the bunch from his pocket and used his latch key to work an opening in the envelope’s closed side. The paper seemed thick, toughened somehow – chosen, perhaps, to disguise the glass – and yielded reluctantly. Leo hacked and gained an inch, another. Blood began seeping through the toilet paper and glass fragments pattered from the envelope onto his lap. Leo ignored them, ignored the throbbing too, and finally had the note free. He shook it, unfolded it, turned it and stared.