I used to believe that brigands lurked in the bamboo forests at the edge of our garden, and that a ghost haunted the well. It was Auntie Chang who told me about the brigands. I expect she said that to frighten me, to make sure I did not stray far from home. It may be, though, that she especially didn’t want me to go to that part of our property. The brigands didn’t worry me. When I grew up, I planned to be a brave soldier in the service of the emperor, just like Number Two Brother. Brigands would have cause to fear me.
The ghost was a different matter. She was an ugly woman with disheveled hair and eyes that burned through you. I knew that because Auntie Chang had seen the ghost, and was very frightened. She said it is someone whose hun had escaped the body, and that the ghost could not rest until the proper rites were performed, and the corpse’s mouth sealed with jade so the hun could not escape.
Sometimes I dreamed that Number One Sister had joined the makes as the wind blows through it was Number One Sister sending me a message. Number One Sister, you see, had simply vanished from my life. One day she was there, the next morning she was gone.
If Number One Sister was not with the brigands, then she had run away to the Gay Quarter to become a dancer. I thought that would be exciting, too. I decided that when I was older and able to make my way about the city as I pleased, I’d look for her there. She would be wearing gowns of the finest silk in the latest fashion, with jade and pearls and kingfisher feathers, and all the men would cheer as she danced and sang. She sang and danced very well; that I knew, having watched her when she thought she was alone. When I found her, I would cheer, too.
I missed my sister. She was the only one who would play in the gardens with me, and she also let me watch while she put her hair up in elaborate tall bindings. Her favorite styles were flower bindings, where she wove most favored peonies into her hair. When she was married, she told me, she would be able to go into the streets with her hair made up so. She was also the only member of the family who would play with me in the snow, the rest of them preferring to huddle behind screens to cut the drafts or hold their hands to braziers for warmth. I was grateful for these moments with my sister. Number One Brother was too busy studying for his civil service examinations to pay any attention to me. He was angry when I interrupted him. He told me his future depended on success in the examinations. I didn’t know why he would say that when he could be a brigand instead. Number Two Brother simply ignored me.
The drums of the Imperial Palace are now sounding. Soon the drums of the city will do the same, and the doors of the wards will shut for the night. It was on one such night that Number One Sister did not return until dawn. Our father waited by the gates all the night long, afraid that she would be found outside and beaten by the Gold Bird Guard, twenty blows of the rod for remaining outside our ward during the night.
It was shortly after that event that Number One Sister disappeared for good. I did not understand why she didn’t say good-bye.