The Cinderella Murder

41

Keith could feel his cell phone shake in his hand. It had been years since he’d lost control. He certainly could not recall ever speaking to Martin Collins so firmly. “I can’t do it. You should have heard the way they were running down AG. I couldn’t control my anger. I had to leave to keep myself from saying more than I should.”

“Of all people, Keith, don’t you think I know what it is like to have our beliefs belittled by people who can never understand our good works?”

Keith should have known that Martin would not accept his decision, but Martin didn’t understand his frustration. Keith had heard the ridicule in Laurie Moran’s voice when she mentioned Advocates for God. She could never begin to understand how AG had saved him after Susan died.

Service to others and guidance from Martin as to the certainty of God’s goodness had kept Keith from taking out his grief through booze and girls. And then there were the group sessions. Keith began to examine his guilt at treating Susan poorly when she was alive. He realized that all his betrayals were little acts of revenge. As much as he loved Susan, she made him feel small. He remembered how other couples in high school would talk about being treated like honorary family by one another’s parents. His friend Brian even got birthday and Christmas presents from his girlfriend Becky’s family.

But Keith had never gotten the slightest sign of approval-let alone affection-from Rosemary or Jack Dempsey. Jack worked so hard, he probably wouldn’t have been able to pick Keith from a lineup. And Rosemary? She treated Keith like dirt, with her constant sighs of disappointment and barbed comments insulting his dream of being a star.

Susan always told him to ignore it. She said her mother was just protective and would have had the same response if Susan were to date a prince who was also a Rhodes scholar. But, after Susan’s murder, Keith realized that he had absorbed the criticism. Hurting Susan-having power over her-had been a way to keep her from hurting him.

Now Keith felt like Rosemary Dempsey was calling the shots all over again. He tried once more to explain it all to Martin.

“The way that television producer spoke to me brought back all my old insecurities. And the way they talked about AG reminded me of how Susan would call it a scam when Nicole first became involved.”

“You didn’t give them any indication that it was Nicole who introduced you to the church, did you?”

“Of course not.”

“Remember, if they ask, you were handed a flyer on campus and were curious. With all the pamphleting I did back then, it’s perfectly believable. Do not say anything to link Nicole with AG.”

“I won’t be saying anything at all. I don’t want to be part of that show.”

“You know better than this. Sometimes it’s not about you, Keith. How are you best positioned to serve the work of God?”

“How can it be God’s work to be in a house full of people who make fun of everything our church stands for?”

“A house?”

“Yes, they have a house for filming. They’re also going to be staying there.” He retrieved the address from his pocket and read it to Martin.

“Listen to me: you will call the producer and confirm your participation. Advocates for God is a group serving God, and Nicole’s participation in this show is a direct threat to that group. I have reason to believe that Nicole isn’t saying anything about us for now, but the television show may be digging into Nicole’s background.”

“ ‘Reason to believe’?”

“I’m relying on you to update me about her involvement and to steer the investigation away from anything that might lead to AG. Do you understand?”

Sometimes Keith wondered whether he should be more questioning of Martin’s commands. But without Advocates for God, what would he have?