The Color of Distance

Chapter 31

After four days of tests, the doctors released Juna from the infirmary. She headed for the communal osento to scrub away the smell of the hospital. It was dinner time, and the baths were deserted. She was grateful for the solitude; she’d had too much clinical poking and prodding lately. A peaceful, quiet bath would soothe her tired spirit and her aching hands and feet.

She took off her clothes, placing them in one of the pink plastic baskets on the shelf, and regarded herself in the mirror. She looked like a gymnast, her body bulging with lean, ropy muscles. She turned, posing and flexing her muscles, laughing with delight at how good she looked. Her hair was still only a thin fuzz on her scalp, and her high, arching eyebrows were barely discernible lines. The lack of eyebrows made her look much younger than her true age. She reached for a towel and washcloth and noticed once again that the faded blue tribal tattoos were gone from her wrists and arms. She frowned. Her mother had taken her to have them done just before everything went wrong. Those tattoos were her last memory of good times spent with her mother. She would have to have them retattooed when she returned to Earth.

She scrubbed herself at one of the low spigots set along one wall, then rinsed off and stepped into the big stone-floored bath with a sigh of pure pleasure. It was wonderful being human again.

She settled deeper into the steaming hot water. Before her transformation, she had avoided the baths. No matter how thoroughly she scrubbed before entering the tub, her skin would still have been alien. She hadn’t wanted to pollute the communal waters with her strangeness.

She let her hands float up to the surface. The water was so hot it made her new fingernails ache, but it eased the bone-deep pain in her hands and feet. She could feel occasional sharp twinges as muscle realigned itself along the shrinking bones of her hands and feet. Her hands had already shrunk by a half a centimeter.

Half a centimeter in four days. It amazed the doctors. They were furious with her for undergoing her retransformation in the middle of the jungle instead of under observation in a safe, clinical environment. Juna didn’t regret her choice. It had given her a chance to say goodbye to her life among the Tendu in a quiet, dignified manner. The doctors would have plenty of chances to observe the Tendu at work: she had already ensured that.

She took a deep breath and slid underwater to lie fetally curled on the rough black stone floor of the bath, letting the hot water embrace her. She turned her awareness inside, trying to feel her life rhythms, as she had before her transformation. If she concentrated, she could sense them, but it was as if they were behind a veil. She surfaced and stretched out, letting the blissfully hot water buoy her up.

Footsteps thudded dully on the floor of the bathhouse. Juna opened her eyes and sat up.

“Hi there. Want someone to scrub your back?”

“Bruce!”

“Am I disturbing you?” he asked.

“No, not at all,” Juna said.

“Then I’ll scrub down and join you.”

Juna smiled. “I’d like that.”

He seated himself on a small wooden stool in front of a spigot and began soaping off. Juna climbed out of the bath, picked up a washcloth, and began scrubbing his back, admiring the smooth curve of his well-muscled shoulders. Bruce left off scrubbing and arched his back under her hands like a pleased cat.

“That feels wonderful,” he said. “Don’t stop.”

She moved lower, scrubbing with one hand, and kneading his muscles with the other, all the way down his back. She hesitated as she reached his buttocks. Bruce turned and began scrubbing her arms and shoulders. She lifted her chin and he moved to her upper chest, the rough washcloth sliding slowly over her skin. She straightened slightly, closing her eyes. Bruce let his hands slide lower, soaping her breasts.

Juna felt a rush of heat spread up her loins; her nipples were turning hard. She opened her eyes and stopped his hands. “What if someone comes in?”

“We won’t be disturbed,” he told her, with a mischievous grin. “The baths are ‘closed for maintenance.’ I put the sign up myself. Do you want me to go on?”

She leaned forward and kissed him. His hands, slippery with soap, slid over her back, and up her sides. He cupped her breasts in his large, strong hands, pinching her nipples with his fingers. His tongue slid into her mouth. She met it with her own, reaching down to circle his hard cock with her fingers. He reached up and turned on the shower. They stood under the warm water, still kissing as they rinsed the soap off their bodies.

Bruce slid his hand between her legs, stroking her with firm, gentle fingers. Juna gasped and rested her forehead against his shoulder, turning her hips outward, giving his hand better access. She clung to him as she came repeatedly.

“Please,” she said at last. “I’ve got to lie down.”

Bruce spread four bath towels on a dry section of floor, folding the last one to cushion their heads. They lay down. Bruce began kissing his way down her neck to her breasts, sucking her nipples, his hand working in her crotch as she arched again and again in orgasm.

At last she pushed him away. “My turn,” she whispered as she moved down to his crotch, smelling his clean, warm, male smell as she took his penis in her mouth.

After several minutes, he moved away. Juna lay back on the towels, pulled him on top of her, and guided him in, moaning as she felt him slide into her, giving herself up to the ecstasy of sex. It had been so long, so very long. She had forgotten just how good it could be.

Afterwards, they lay together in the hot water of the bath. She stretched and smiled, remembering the feel of his hands on her breasts, wishing that they could have linked so she could share how good it felt.

“What are you thinking?” he whispered.

Juna laughed. “I was just thinking how good it is to have nipples again.”

“I wouldn’t have minded you without them,” he said.

“But it bothered me,” she replied.

“I could have gotten used to it, Juna. I was willing to try.”

She turned to face him. “I spent nearly five years inside an alien skin, Bruce. I didn’t want anyone to have to get used to me. I wanted to be myself again.”

Juna looked away across the dark, rippling expanse of the bath. “It was all right before the Survey came back. I was a Tendu among Tendu. I had forgotten how strange I looked. But when the humans returned, I saw myself through their eyes"—she closed her eyes, remembering—"and I knew that I was different. I had changed in ways that made me no longer fully human. I needed to change back. I needed to be fully human again.” She rested her head against his chest and smiled. “It feels good to be back in my own skin again.”

Juna stepped off the boat and onto the beach, not waiting for the rest of the onshore team. Moki ran to greet her. She picked him up and held him to her.

“It’s good to see you,” she said, in human speech. She hoped he understood her.

“I missed you,” Moki replied in Standard. He took her hand and led her up the path from the beach. “Ukatonen and Anitonen are waiting,” he added in Tendu.

Juna sneezed. Her eyes and nose itched as though she were suffering an attack of hay fever. Anitonen had told her that she would react to the alien proteins of the planet, but that they wouldn’t kill her. They’d just make me wish I was dead, she thought wryly. The doctors had issued her an emergency injector kit just in case, though Juna would rather rely on the Tendu if she had any problems. She hurried up the hill behind her bami, sneezing. At last they were in the jungle.

Anitonen and Ukatonen were waiting for her. Juna held out her arms, asking for a link. She sneezed again. Amused ripples of laughter ran over Anitonen’s body.

“You wouldn’t think it was so funny if it was happening to you,” Juna muttered.

Ukatonen took her arm and led her over to a nearby tree. They sat down, and Ukatonen motioned Moki over. “I will show Moki how to ease your discomfort. That way, he can help when it bothers you.”

They linked. Juna felt the itching in her nose and eyes subside as Ukatonen showed Moki how to stop her allergic reaction. When that was done, Moki enfolded her. She was nearly swamped by the intensity of his emotions—wild happiness at seeing her again, and deep grief at her transformation. Without her spurs and allu, she was helpless to block him out. Ukatonen moved to shield her until Moki regained control of himself. As Moki merged with her, Juna felt his relief at linking with her again. She had missed him so much. They spiraled tightly into happiness until Ukatonen broke the link.

Anitonen and the others left to let Lyanan know that the humans had arrived. Realizing that she wasn’t ready to deal with the Survey team just yet, Juna wandered into the sunbreak where Bruce had held her while she cried. The glorious bromeliads that had covered the fallen tree were dying. None of them had set seed. Whatever pollinator it was that fertilized these plants couldn’t find them so close to the ground. Juna felt saddened by the sight. Glancing at her wrist chrono, she saw that she had been keeping the Survey team waiting. She headed back to the top of the cliff path where the others would be waiting for her.

Today she was guiding half a dozen Alien Contact specialists on a visit to the village of Lyanan. It was the first time that any human, except for Juna, had been to Lyanan’s village tree. She led the Survey team along the familiar path, pointing out interesting sights along the way. Her voice sounded very loud in the forest. Birds exploded out of trees, insects and small animals went silent as they passed. All around her she heard the pattering of falling leaves as arboreal animals moved into hiding. It made her feel like an intruder in a once-familiar house.

At last they reached the village tree. Juna smiled at the other humans’ murmurs of astonishment when they saw the massive trunk rising into the canopy. She sat down to wait for the villagers to arrive. The long walk had been hard on her shrinking feet; they throbbed painfully.

As Lalito and several of the elders on the village council climbed down to greet them, Juna rose, activating the computer interface that allowed her to communicate with the Tendu.

“Welcome to Lyanan,” Lalito said in formal patterns. “Please let us escort you inside.”

Juna fumbled with the clumsy interface. “Thank you,” she finally managed to say. “We brought a ladder to help us climb into the village.”

She motioned to the others, and they unpacked the long rope ladder.

Juna smiled as she saw Lalito’s ears lift at the sight of the rope ladder. It was a handsome gift. Not only was it intrinsically valuable, but it also saved the Tendu considerable effort in getting the awkward humans up the tree and into the village.

Lalito thanked Juna with gracious formality, then motioned to some of the bami to hoist the ladder into the canopy. A vine rope was lowered from the branch above them and tied to the rope ladder. In less than ten minutes, the ladder was up and secure.

Juna wadded up the computer and put it back into her pack. “Follow me,” she told the Survey team. “And don’t look down.”

Patricia Tanquay came up behind her, followed by the other A-C specialists. It was a long, painful climb. Juna’s hands and feet pulsated with pain by the time she reached the branch. She limped to the bowl of the crotch and sat down, tucking her hands into her armpits, letting the warmth of her body ease the ache. There was a touch on her shoulder. It was Moki. He held out his arms to link with her. Juna hesitated, but the pain in her hands and feet was too much to bear. They clasped hands. Instantly the pain receded. She felt Moki moving through her, soothing the pain, healing the tiny cuts, blisters, and abrasions she had acquired on the walk to the village. Behind it, held tightly under control, she sensed his anguish. Juna was relieved when Moki broke the link, his work done, hating herself both for the relief that she felt and for the guilt that arose each time she felt his grief at her transformation.

“Thank you, Moki. I feel much better,” she said aloud, hoping he would understand her. She hated using her translator to communicate with her bami.

“It was good to help,” Moki said, touching her shoulder. “We should go now. The others are waiting.”

She followed Moki down into the heart of the tree. The Survey team was seated in the doorway of Lalito’s room, watching the villagers watch them.

“You lived in a village like this?” one of the A-C specialists asked Juna.

“I mostly lived at Narmolom, which is farther inland, but I spent two months every year here at Lyanan.”

“I’m amazed that you didn’t break your neck. I get vertigo just looking out the door.”

“It was hard at first, but I got used to it. I didn’t have much choice,” Juna said. She was tired of explaining things over and over again.

Juna and Lalito escorted the scientists slowly down the inside of the trunk, showing them storerooms, living quarters, and even the hives of the tilan bees. The Survey team took samples of everything they could: bits of food, dead tilan bees, honey, even pieces of fiber left over from basket-weaving. They measured the rooms they visited, the height and diameter of the trunk, and the size of the doorways and balconies. The villagers crowded around, watching everything the humans did. Juna felt like a stranger again as she fumbled with the computer, asking questions and translating answers. The Survey team’s invasive curiosity made her feel deeply ashamed. Finally, unable to take it any longer, she shut down her translator and handed it to Patricia.

“I’m going up for a breath of fresh air,” she said. “You take over for a while.”

Juna emerged from the tree with a sigh of relief. The humid air was cool and restless as the afternoon storm approached. She climbed into the middle of the tree’s canopy and settled herself in a comfortable crotch. Closing her eyes, she breathed in the sweet, green-scented air of the forest, letting the gentle swaying of the tree soothe her.

The branch she was on vibrated with the motion of an approaching climber. It was Anitonen. Juna shifted to make room on the branch for her. They stared at each other; then Anitonen held out her arms for a link. Juna hesitated, then clasped the enkar’s arms.

She could feel Anitonen sorting through the emotions roiling inside her, easing her anger, soothing the pain of her loss. As her pain eased, Juna found herself remembering the ecstasy and release she had felt with Bruce in the baths.

Anitonen broke the link. Her skin flamed briefly golden, reflecting Juna’s sexual arousal. Embarrassed and ashamed, Juna looked away, giving Anitonen time to get herself under control.

“Thank you,” she said when Anitonen’s skin had returned to a neutral shade of green.

“Better?” Anitonen asked.

Juna nodded.

“You mated with Bruce last night.”

Juna glanced away, embarrassment heating her cheeks.

Anitonen touched her arm. “Sex takes the place of allu-a for your people, doesn’t it?”

Juna shrugged. Sex did many of the same things as linking, but you were always alone inside your own head, no matter how intimate and close you were with your partner. She wished that she hadn’t left her computer with Patricia, but then there really was no way to make Anitonen understand. It was too much a part of being human.

“We should go now,” Anitonen said. “The others are waiting for you.”

Juna followed the enkar down the branch. She moved cautiously, aware that her hands and feet were no longer fully adapted for climbing. The Survey team was assembled in Lalito’s room.

“I’m sorry,” Juna said. “I just needed some fresh air. Where were we?”

They returned to the landing beach a couple of hours before sunset. The A-C specs settled in the shadow of one of the cliffs and sorted through their samples while they waited for the boat to pick them up. Juna walked down the beach, hand in hand with Moki, glad to be done with the day’s work. Patricia fell into step beside them.

“Juna, what happened back there in the village? Why did you take off so suddenly? It was more than needing air, wasn’t it?”

Juna looked back up the cliff at the jungle. “I was watching the others taking samples and measuring things, and it bothered me. There they were, in the middle of this amazing village, and they were busy measuring doorways and collecting trash. It just seemed"—she paused, searching for the right words—"so trivial, so foolish. They were so busy studying bits and pieces of the Tendu, when the whole was sitting right there in front of them.” She shook her head. “It’s a Tendu thing, I guess—the Tendu study the whole system and how it works before they start looking at the bits and pieces that make it up. We humans do the opposite. We take a thing apart and study the pieces, then try to put it together again. I don’t think that works when you’re studying people.”

“It’s more than that,” Patricia said. “What else is bothering you?”

“It’s hard, not being able to talk directly to the Tendu,” Juna said. “It makes me feel like I’m stuck behind a thick piece of plexi. It’s especially hard with Moki. He needs me so much.”

Patricia laid a hand on her arm. “You’ve been through a lot. Why don’t you take some time off?”

“You need me.”

“You’ll be going home in a couple of months,” Patricia told her. “We’re going to have to learn to get along without you. Take some leave. Go up to the mother ship, see some tapes, relax. Take Bruce with you. You deserve it, and in my opinion, you need it.”

Juna glanced down at Moki and sighed. It was a tempting thought. She had been working nonstop since the Survey had returned. Besides, she would be going home soon. It would be a good idea to let the Survey find out what they still needed to know from her.

“I’ll talk to the captain about it.”

“Good.”

Juna stepped through the shuttle airlock onto the mother ship. An honor guard in dress uniform whistled her aboard. She smiled and blinked back tears. Bruce squeezed her hand. It was good to be back in space. Commander Sussman greeted them warmly and escorted them to a large double cabin.

“With everyone down on the planet, there’s plenty of room,” the commander said. “And I’ve told the crew to respect your privacy, so they won’t be pestering you with questions. You’re on leave, and from what the captain told me, you’ve earned it.”

“Thank you very much, Commander. You’ve gone to a lot of trouble for us.”

Commander Sussman shrugged. “There’s not much to do up here except keep the ship ticking over until the supply ship comes through the gate. We’re not expecting them for another month and a half.”

“When will they be returning to Earth?” Juna asked, hope warring with sadness.

“Two or three weeks after that, maybe longer, depending on the situation downside,” the commander told her. “You could be home in five months’ time.”

“It’ll be good to see my family again,” Juna said.

“I’m sure it will. Enjoy your leave, Dr. Saari, Technician Bowles.”

“Well, I guess I will be going home after all,” Juna said when Commander Sussman closed the door. She swallowed back sudden tears.

“What’s the matter?” Bruce asked, putting his arms around her. She rested her forehead on his chest, taking comfort from his nearness. He cupped the back of her head in his hand.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I didn’t expect it to be so soon. The standard Research posting is about ten months on-planet and you’ve only been here for three.”

“Juna, this is an important posting. They’ll be sending home the setup crew and whatever technicians they can spare, and bringing in more scientists.”

“And you?” Juna asked. “What will you be doing?”

“I’ll be going home on the supply ship with you. The scientists are going to have to run their own boats.”

“It’ll be good to have company on the run home. But—” She looked away, unable to speak through a surge of emotion.

“It’s Moki, isn’t it?”

Juna nodded, and Bruce gathered her close.

“Juna,” he said, lifting her chin gently. “You came up here to forget about all of that for a week. You can worry about it when we go back.”

“It’s hard,” Juna told him.

“Well, I’ll do my best to distract you,” he said as he moved to kiss her.

Despite her reservations, Juna enjoyed her holiday. They made love, wallowed in the ship’s huge osento, talked for hours, and explored some virtual-reality worlds together. She visited the commissary, and had the computer spin her some new clothes, then had her newly regrown hair dyed into the pattern of her Tendu name sign. She felt years younger by the end of her leave.

Juna and Bruce were just packing to return when the phone rang.

“Dr. Saari, we found a Tendu on board the shuttle craft, and we need your help. It’s in the infirmary.”

“I’ll be right there,” she said. “It’s Moki,” she told Bruce. “Somehow he got on board the shuttle. He’s in the infirmary.”

“Let’s go, then,” Bruce said.

“I’m Dr. Saari, where is the Tendu?” Juna said, when they arrived at the infirmary.

“Right this way. It was unconscious when the crewmen found it in the cargo area. They brought it here just a few minutes ago.”

Juna followed the doctor into the hospital ward. Moki was strapped to a gurney.

“It’s Moki,” she told the doctor. “He’s my adopted son.” Moki’s eyes slit open, at the sound of her voice. Muddy shades of relief and happiness drifted over his skin, but he was too weak to form words. She touched his forehead. It felt cold and his skin was as dry as parchment.

“Call down to the research base, have someone get Anitonen or Uka-tonen, and bring them up here. Tell them it’s an emergency. He’s suffering from hypothermia and dehydration. He needs a hot bath and warm electrolyte solution to drink. Now!”

Juna held him close, warming him with her body heat. “Oh Moki, what have you done?”

A nurse came in. “The bath will be ready in a few more minutes. Here are some hot, moist towels to wrap him in meanwhile.”

Juna nodded her thanks. They swathed him in towels, and wheeled him to the bathtub. When the water was ready, they immersed him.

Juna stripped down and climbed into the tub with Moki, cradling him in the hot water. He began to stir again. His eyes opened. He looked at her, and flushed a clear, brilliant turquoise. “On sky ship?” he asked, forming his words with difficulty.

Juna stroked his forehead. “Yes,” she said. “You’re on the sky ship.”

“Cold,” he said. “Hungry.” Feebly he held his arms out for a link.

Juna shook her head. “No Moki, I can’t,” she told him, holding up her spurless wrist. Without her aim, she couldn’t heal him. Linking would only drain what little strength he still possessed.

“Here, drink this,” Juna said, lifting a beaker of warm electrolyte solution to his lips. Moki took a cautious sip, and then began drinking eagerly.

“Good,” he said when he was done. He closed his eyes, and drifted in her arms, sleeping in the hot water. After half an hour, the nurses helped her lift him from the tub onto the gurney. Juna roused him, and got him to drink almost a liter of warm electrolyte solution. They settled him in a nest of moist towels warmed by a heating pad. Juna sank into a hard plastic hospital chair to watch over him while he slept.

“Dr. Saari? Dr. Saari?”

Juna stirred groggily, and then awoke. Dr. Wu was standing beside her. Ukatonen hovered just behind Wu’s shoulder, his skin ochre with concern.

“Moki! How is he?” Juna asked.

“He’s sleeping,” Dr. Wu told her. “I’ve brought Ukatonen to make sure that he’s all right. I thought you’d like to be awake while he linked with him. Also, I brought you a translator so you can talk to the Tendu.”

“Thank you,” Juna said. “I’m glad you came.”

Ukatonen touched her on the shoulder. “Our bami is still stubborn,” he said in skin speech.

Juna smiled. “He certainly is,” she replied through the translator.

“Do you want to link with us?”

Juna nodded, and reached into the warm nest of blankets for Moki’s hand. Ukatonen did the same. They grasped hands and linked.

Moki’s presence reached for her, enfolding her with a vast sense of relief. Distantly, Juna was aware of Ukatonen moving through Moki, making minor repairs, but she was too caught up with Moki to notice the details. It was wonderful to feel his presence again. Seeing him so weak and helpless had made her realize how much she missed him, and how very happy she was that he was still alive. She felt him responding to her relief, her happiness at seeing him. They spiraled upward into harmony. After so much grief and guilt, it felt like the sun coming out from the clouds.

Juna clung to the link as long as she could. When the link broke, she sat for a moment, her eyes shut, not wanting to lose the completeness she had felt. Moki filled a hollow place in her heart that belonged to no one else. How could she leave him?

She opened her eyes to the outside world.

“He’ll be fine,” Ukatonen assured her. “He needs a good meal and a day’s rest, and then we can take him back down.”

Moki clutched her arm. “No,” he said in Standard skin speech, “I want to go with you!”

“Moki, I’m afraid that’s not possible,” Juna told him, her eyes filling with tears. “You have to stay here with Ukatonen.”

Wu touched her on the arm. “Clearly Moki wants to stay with you.”

Juna nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. “And I want to stay with him, but it’s impossible.” She looked down at Moki. “I’ve been hoping that somehow he would accept Ukatonen as his sitik, but now—” She shook her head. “He’ll die without me, and if he dies, then Ukatonen will commit suicide.”

“We can’t let that happen,” Wu said. “I don’t want to think about how that would affect our relationship with the Tendu.”

“I can’t stay here,” Juna told him. “I need to go home. There’s my family. I miss them, and my father needs me.”

“You’ve given more than enough, to both the Survey and the Tendu,” Wu agreed.

Ukatonen touched her shoulder. “What are you saying?” he asked.

Juna translated the conversation.

“Take Moki with you,” Ukatonen suggested. “For that matter, I’d like to go as well. After all, I am also Moki’s sitik. He shouldn’t be completely separated from other Tendu.”

“Please!” Moki begged, going bright pink with excitement.

Juna shook her head. “It’s too cold and dry,” she said. “And it’s against Contact Protocols.”

“There’s nothing in the treaty against it,” Ukatonen argued, “and if we can change you to fit into our world, why can’t we change ourselves to fit into yours? It’s risky, but we’re both willing to do what we can to adapt.”

Moki sat up, ears wide. “Let me go with you!” he pleaded.

Juna looked from Moki to Ukatonen and back again. “It will be hard. You have no idea how hard it will be. My world is so different, so complex,” she said. “You’ll be too cold, too dry, and everything will seem crazy and confusing. The whole world will feel out of harmony. Some people will be afraid of you, others hostile. You’ll have trouble communicating with the ones who are friendly.”

“You managed to adapt to us,” Moki pointed out.

“I nearly died several times,” Juna told him. “I was very unhappy, and I caused a lot of disharmony.”

“You’re my sitik,” Moki said. “I belong wherever you are.”

“And what about Ukatonen? He is also your sitik. He would have to come along. You’ll be dragging him into a world of confusion and pain. Are you willing to live with that?”

Moki’s ears folded close to his head. Ripples of shame and doubt passed over him.

Ukatonen touched Juna’s shoulder. “You don’t understand,” he said. “I want to go. The Tendu need someone who understands your people. Besides, I want change. Before I met you, I was so bored that I was thinking about dying. I want to see something new and strange, even if I’m cold and uncomfortable—” He paused for a moment. “Even if it kills me, Juna, I want to see your world. Please take us with you. We want to go.”

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to Dr. Wu and Dr. Bremen about it.”

She turned to Wu. “They want to come with me when I go back to Earth.”

“Both of them?” Wu asked.

Juna nodded. “They want to go. Moki wants to be with me, and Ukatonen wants to look after Moki and learn more about humans. I tried to talk them out of it.” She looked at Moki and shook her head. “They have no idea what they’re agreeing to, but they’re determined to go. If I didn’t feel that it was a matter of life and death for them, I wouldn’t ask that they be allowed to come with me.”

“Well,” Wu said, after a long, thoughtful pause, “we’ll have to talk to the captain and Dr. Bremen, but I’ll back you on this one.”

“Thank you, Dr. Wu,” Juna said. “I didn’t expect this.”

Wu bowed his head for a moment, then looked at her. “A Tendu saved my life. Now I have a chance to save two lives in return. Besides, I agree with Ukatonen. It would be good for them to see us, to learn more about our culture. Who knows what they’ll teach us about ourselves?”

Juna opened the door to the observation gallery. It was dark and quiet, lit only by the glow of the planet they orbited. The hush of the air vents and the distant hum of machinery were the only sounds. The two Tendu stepped silently to the wide, curving window. Outside, their world hung below them, vast and brilliant. The black line of the terminator lay on the middle of the ocean, moving almost imperceptibly toward the coast. Moki groped for Juna’s hand, unable to take his eyes off the view.

No one said anything for a very long time.

At last Ukatonen turned and touched Juna on the shoulder.

“Thank you,” he said. “Before this, I thought that perhaps your people were making it all up; that maybe you were from some northern continent that we didn’t know about. Now I see my own world turning beneath me…”

Juna brushed Ukatonen’s shoulder. “It’s a beautiful world, isn’t it?”

“Where’s Lyanan?” Moki asked.

Juna pointed out the broad peninsula, just barely visible beneath cloud cover. She remembered the long, difficult trip from Narmolom to Lyanan and back again. From here, she could cover the entire distance with the palm of her hand.

“We’ve come a long way,” she said with a smile.

A soft chime sounded.

“We need to go. They’re waiting to take us back down,” Juna said.

The two Tendu turned to go with obvious reluctance.

“I hope well see it again,” Moki said wistfully.

“I hope so too,” Juna replied.

Two days later, Juna, Ukatonen, Anitonen, and Moki followed the senior members of the staff into the conference room. Patricia squeezed Juna on the shoulder.

“Good luck,” she whispered.

Juna managed a weak, nervous smile. “Thanks,” she whispered back.

At last everyone was settled around the table.

Dr. Bremen stood. “Well, you’ve handed us a rather difficult decision, Dr. Saari.”

“Yes, I know,” she responded, “but it’s important. Unless Moki comes back with me, he’ll run off into the forest and go wild again. He might even kill himself. When that happens, Ukatonen will be forced to commit suicide.”

“I understand that much from your summary of the situation, but I don’t entirely understand the chain of causality here. You told us during your first briefing that you arranged for Ukatonen to adopt Moki. Now you’re saying that won’t work?”

“Yes, sir. Parenting is very different among the Tendu. It isn’t just a matter of love and affection; there’s a physiological bond there too. Moki has bonded with me, with my biochemistry. No one else can substitute for me. He cares for Ukatonen—they are very close—but he needs me. I had hoped he could transfer that physical need to Ukatonen, but he can’t. It will be years before he can live without me.”

“But why can’t he simply become an elder?” Bremen asked.

Juna started to answer, but Ukatonen, who had been following Dr. Tanguay’s translation, put a hand on her arm.

“Let me explain,” he said.

“Moki is too young to become an elder, and he has been Eerin’s sitik too long to adapt to another sitik. Sometimes, if a sitik dies only a month or two after the bami’s transformation from a tinka, another elder can be found. But Moki is at a stage where that is impossible. He will need to be with Eerin for another eight or nine years, perhaps even longer.”

“Why would you have to die if Moki runs away, Ukatonen?” Dr. Bremen asked.

Ukatonen looked at the translation. “I am an enkar. Anitonen asked me to pass judgment on whether Eerin could adopt Moki. I am responsible for the consequences of my judgment. If this adoption doesn’t work out, if Moki is lost to our people, then my judgment was wrong, and I will have to die.”

“I see,” Bremen said. “That seems rather harsh.”

Ukatonen shrugged, another human gesture he had picked up. “I make very good decisions. I have lived almost a thousand of your years.”

“What would the diplomatic consequences be if you die?” Wu asked.

Anitonen rose.

“I wish to make a judgment,” she said in formal patterns. “Ukatonen and Moki must go with you.”

“No!!” Juna cried.

Ironic amusement rippled across Anitonen’s skin. “It’s too late, Eerin. I have spoken.”

“I’m sorry,” Dr. Tanguay said. “I didn’t understand what Anitonen meant.”

Juna translated. “Anitonen has just linked her life to Moki and Ukatonen’s. If Ukatonen and Moki don’t go, then Anitonen’s judgment is wrong, and she must die,” Juna explained. “We would lose the two Tendu who know us best. It might take years to catch up again.”

“And I don’t know how the other enkar would take it if two of their number died as a result of our actions,” Wu put in. “It would severely restrict our ability to negotiate.”

Bremen shook his head, looking angry. Juna’s throat tightened in fear. He didn’t like being trapped.

“Dr. Bremen,” she said softly. “There’s a great deal that we can learn from Ukatonen and Moki if they come with us. They’ll be an invaluable source of information to our researchers back home. They can help us prepare people coming out to study this planet. When they come back, they can teach their people about us.”

“But the Contact Protocols,” Bremen protested. “What about them?”

“We’ll abide by them,” Ukatonen replied. “We won’t teach your people anything that might be harmful to them.”

Juna had to fight back a smile at Bremen’s amazed expression when he heard the translation. Given what the Tendu were capable of, the humans probably needed the Contact Protocols as much as the Tendu did. Besides, it might not hurt the A-C specs to get a taste of their own medicine.

“There’s a provision in the protocols for limited diplomatic missions,” Wu said. “I think that we can make a very strong case for it, considering the possible repercussions if we refuse.”

“Thank you all,” Bremen said. “You’ve given us a great deal to think about. Dr. Saari, if you and the Tendu could excuse us for a few minutes, while we discuss the situation.”

“Certainly, Dr. Bremen.” Juna rose and motioned to the Tendu to follow her.

“Well,” Ukatonen said. “We’ve done everything we can.”

Juna looked at the three of them. They had staked their lives on this decision. She felt a sudden resolve.

“If they say that you can’t come,” Juna told them, her throat tight with fear, “then I will stay here with you.”

“What about your family?” Ukatonen asked.

“You are my family also. I can’t let you die,” Juna replied. She brushed Moki’s shoulder affectionately, and tried not to think about going home. She was glad that her skin no longer showed her emotions.

Moki took her hand. It was a very human gesture. He looked up at her.

“Thank you, siti.”

Juna smiled, feeling the weight of guilt and misery drop from her shoulders. Whatever happened now, Moki would survive, and so would Ukatonen. She looked at Anitonen and bit her lip. Anitonen had risked her life on a dangerous attempt to ensure that Moki and Ukatonen would go with her. There was nothing Juna could do except hope for the best.

“That was a very brave judgment, en,” she said. “I hope it isn’t proven wrong.”

“We’ll see,” Anitonen responded.

A few minutes later, Patricia stuck her head out the door. “They’re done,” she said.

They walked back in and took their places.

Bremen stood. “We have decided that Ukatonen will be Special Envoy to Humanity. Moki will be officially listed as his dependent child. I have grave misgivings about this, but—” He shook his head. “You win, Dr. Saari. I only hope you know what you’re doing.”

Juna felt giddy with relief. She took a deep breath to steady herself and rose to speak.

“Thank you, Dr. Bremen. I’m sure that both our people will gain from this decision.”

Bremen adjourned the meeting. Moki and the other Tendu crowded around Juna, their skins vivid blue with relief. Juna took them to the Staff Lounge, where her friends had assembled, waiting for the verdict. Alison met them at the door, a questioning look on her face.

“We did it!” Juna shouted gleefully.

Everyone in the room cheered. Alison popped the cork on a bottle of champagne. “Ad Astra ’32,” she remarked as she poured. “Your father was hoping there would be something worth celebrating.” The galley staff brought out platters of fruit, cheese, and pastries. Moki reached for a pastry, then hesitated, looking at Juna.

“Go ahead, Moki. You’ll have to get used to human food eventually,” Juna said. “Just eat a little bit, though.”

He bit into the crumbly pastry and chewed carefully, eyes shut.

“Well?” Alison asked.

He flushed turquoise and opened his eyes. “I think I’m going to like your world. The food is good.”

Juna laughed, then sobered. “I hope everything else is as good as that cake.”

She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair with a profound sigh of relief. The tragedy she had been dreading for so long had been averted. She was going to get to see her family and keep Moki too. She picked up her glass of champagne, and held it up for a toast.

“To the Tendu, humanity, and the future,” she said, and tossed back her father’s champagne. It had never tasted sweeter.