The Concubine

Chapter 20

JI YUE'S FEET ACHED, her back had tightened into a knot of anxiety and her head felt as if it weighed a ton. She stood in the back of the Festival Garden, waiting with all the other virgins for the emperor to wander by and make his selection. If only she could move a little, wander the gardens and ease the aches in her body, but she was too terrified to move.

She was being ridiculous, she knew. Only an idiot would believe that the emperor would miss her just because she took a step or two in a different direction. But she had been told to stand here, that the emperor would wander through eventually, and so here she stood. At least she had a position where she could see some of the path. Li Fei fidgeted just a little ahead of her around a curve, but Ji Yue had been placed here—no doubt by the dowager consort—in the furthest reaches of the garden. The shrew probably hoped that the emperor would select his primary harem long before he made it to her.

Fortunately, Ji Yue had Bo Tao's assurance that the emperor would find her and that he planned on selecting her as empress. She fretted because she didn't know what she would tell the emperor when he finally did wander back here to talk. She held her two combs in her hands, alternately linking them together and snapping them apart. If she wasn't careful, she'd soon break the delicate mechanism.

Linked combs meant her heart was already given to someone else, to Bo Tao. Separate combs said she wanted desperately for the emperor to select her. A fairly simple choice, really: become an empress or a woman on the run with a disgraced husband.

But even with such clear choice, she didn't know what to do. A night's tormented sleep had shown her just how much she loved Bo Tao. She longed to see his face, to touch his cheek, to feel his arms tenderly tuck her close to his side. She loved everything about him and would willingly give her life if it somehow saved him.

Unfortunately, the only way she could "save" him would be to not marry him. Without her, he still had a political career. Even if the emperor forgave Bo Tao for seducing an imperial virgin, he was not likely to reward such behavior. He certainly wouldn't want Bo Tao around. But if Ji Yue chose the emperor, then Bo Tao would get the political position of his choice. With that, he could marry, have children and still live the life he was born to lead.

Meanwhile, she had been raised from birth to be a political wife. She had watched her mother guide her father's career. A smart woman could do much even from behind the women's screen. Ji Yue could be an enormous asset to any man, but the emperor himself? That was the kind of influence that was her mother's dream. Up until a few days ago, that had been her own dream, as well. But then Bo Tao had slipped into her palanquin and everything had changed.

She stared at the linked combs in her hands and forced herself to break them apart. Every shred of reason she possessed screamed that she should become the empress. The best way to help the man she loved was to give him up. The best thing for her family was to become empress. And the best way for her to do the work she wanted—to help a great husband in a political career—would be to humbly accept her role as empress of China. She had to marry the emperor. She wanted to marry the emperor.

Except, of course, she did not. She wanted Bo Tao. And the next time she looked down at her hands, the combs were once again linked. No matter what logic said, clearly her heart wanted Bo Tao.

She had just forced herself to separate the combs—again—when she heard a rustle ahead on the path. Was it the emperor? Or were the virgins getting tired and moving around? It was so hard to see! Then she heard voices. A man's voice, but it could be a eunuch. A female giggle—definitely a virgin's, given how nervous it sounded—and then more rustling. The anxiety was killing her!

She heard a voice. The dowager consort! "There's nothing interesting back there," she said, probably to her son. "The other girls are up here."

The pronouncement was seconded by the head eunuch. Then there was much bustling and movement while Ji Yue looked down in defeat. It didn't matter if she linked or unlinked her combs. The emperor would never be given the chance to wander back here. His mother was head of the women in the Forbidden City and—

"You must be Chen Ji Yue."

Ji Yue started, looking up in shock as the emperor sauntered down the path. She'd thought…well, it didn't matter what she thought, since he was here now! She sank low, starting her kowtow, but he reached out and stopped her.

"Yes, yes, but let me see your face," he said. He physically pulled her upright, scanning her face as if trying to place her in his memory. Meanwhile, she looked from his hand on her arm, up his impressive imperial tunic and finally to his rather ordinary face. Was this man to be her husband? This man trailed by his mother and a score of eunuchs? This man who did not give her shivers or make her heart lurch in her chest? And would she always, always compare him to Bo Tao?

Meanwhile the emperor had ceased studying her face to look down at the combs in her hand. Unfortunately, she had been in the process of linking them. Or unlinking them. She didn't even remember now! They were half-intertwined and that was no clear message at all.

"You seem to have dropped your combs, Chen Ji Yue."

Had he emphasized two combs? Not one? "Yes," she murmured, beginning to hold them up for his inspection. Separate them! Become the empress! she ordered her hands. She began to do it, but then paused, finding a boldness that came from irritation. Second-guessing herself was getting her nowhere. She needed to ask exactly what she wanted to know. So she did.

"Do you remember me, Emperor?"

He smiled in a vague way. "Of course, of course. Your beauty makes an impression."

She arched her brows at him. "That and what I said at the celebration."

He frowned and then his expression abruptly cleared as memory sparked. "Oh, yes. About peasants and servants. That impressed Bo Tao." But obviously not the emperor. His gaze wandered across the gardens to the girls stretching and contorting themselves around corners to catch his eye. "I suppose whatever it takes to distinguish one of you from the other. And you must be well able to manage servants. A valuable asset in an empress."

He reached for her comb to take the dragon piece from her. This was the moment. If she let him take it from her, then she would become an empress and spend her life…doing what? Managing his servants. He had no appreciation of the skills she brought to his side. He would never allow her to hide in the shadows of the women's screen to take notes. Neither would he bring his cares to her at night to help him sort through one difficult problem or another.

The emperor was a man who relied not on his wives, but on his assistants. On men like Bo Tao, who would recommend policy and select his wives. It would be a near impossible task to get him to see her as anything but a baby-making vessel. And what a miserable life that would be!

She couldn't do it. She couldn't be that kind of woman to him. So with tears of regret in her eyes, she pulled the combs away from the emperor. "I am so clumsy with this," she said as she quickly linked them together. "They are supposed to be one comb, and they go—"

"No, Chen Ji Yue," he interrupted, his expression hard. "No, they are two combs, and I believe this one is mine."

She stared at him in shock as he forced the linked combs out of her hands. With a quick twist, he released the catch, then dropped the dragon comb into an inside pocket. The tigress comb was offered back to her.

"B-but, Emperor," she stammered. Then she lifted her chin and pointed. "Did you see Li Fei? She will do everything you want. And she will never talk to you of…of servants or peasants. Ever."

He craned his neck a bit to see where she pointed. "Hmm," he murmured. "Li Fei?"

She nodded, and as she watched, he waved a negligent hand at a eunuch then started moving on. Ji Yue wanted to follow him. She wanted to run after the man and demand her comb back. How could he just take it? And now Bo Tao would think that she had selected power over him, that she wanted the emperor of China over him. And it just wasn't true!

But it was too late. As soon as the emperor moved on, scores of eunuchs scurried directly behind. Between one breath and the next, she was completely cut off. And now the emperor had her comb! If Bo Tao was right, she was about to become the next empress of China, but it wasn't the choice she wanted!

She stood there helplessly watching the backs of all the people who trailed her future husband. But he was already gone, well beyond her reach or influence.

She began to cry.

THE SELECTION WAS COMPLETE. All the virgins were assembled in the main palace to hear the results. The virgins would be separated, the newest empress revered.

Ji Yue waited, her heart skipping and tripping inside her chest. One moment she was elated at the idea of taking her place beside the emperor of China. The next she craned her neck to see Bo Tao, to silently tell him that this was not her choice, that she had chosen him. But as a disgraced master of the festival, he was nowhere to be found.

She remembered how little use she would be as empress: watched on every side, in constant battle with the dowager consort and completely ignored by her husband. At that moment her mood crashed downward in despair. Why had she ever wanted such a ridiculous thing? This was insane!

But then the excitement of the moment, the ceremony and the majesty of the palace filtered into her thoughts again, and her spirit quivered in excitement. Empress of China! Her mother would be so excited! Her brothers and father would have no need to worry ever again!

The moment of glory was at hand. The new master of the festival stood before the Dragon Throne, a scroll in his hands, and he began to call their names. This girl—middle harem. Hua Si, her evil roommate—lowest harem. Li Fei—favored concubine. Li Fei was one of the four favored women! Ji Yue was happy; she looked forward to having a friend so close to her.

Then Ji Yue was called. The sound of her name echoed through the palace walls and sent a thrill down her spine. Soon she would be Empress Ji Yue. Her hands were shaking, her mouth was dry, but she was prepared.

"Lowest harem!"

Ji Yue blinked. She couldn't possibly have heard correctly. She was supposed to be first wife. Empress! She stood there stupidly staring at the Dragon Throne. It could not be true. But hands grabbed her arm and roughly dragged her aside to the place for the lowest and most forgotten harem. She was pushed next to Hua Si. And as she stood there, she still could not comprehend what had happened.

She was not going to be empress? But Bo Tao had said! And at the thought of him, more realities came crashing down. Not only was she not going to be empress, she was not going to be with Bo Tao, either. She was, however, going to be tormented and reviled by the dowager consort, head eunuch and Hua Si, as well! For the rest of her life!

It was all she could do not to scream and plunge a knife into her chest.