The day the leader was killed

Elwan Fawwaz Muhtashimi

Winter has come to an end. it is an amazingly clear day. What evil exists lies buried within me alone. I should have chosen some place other than the Pyramids Resthouse. This place situated on the edge of the plateau holds for us the fondest of memories. That calm look in her eyes makes me feel even guiltier. No one deserves respect; nothing is truly worthwhile; no promise is worth keeping. History is on the decline, what with the dark nightingale on the one hand and the dark crow on the other. Dr. Alyaa should cease spouting slogans for she’s a wife and a mother. She herself has drained the cup of love to the dregs, so kindly allow us now to sip our cup of tea in peace. Rather, you enjoy it, for I myself am unable to relish it.

“For heaven’s sake, why this silence?”

I gazed at the tops of the palm trees scattered along the slope.

“Randa, did you know of your mother’s visit to my grandfather?” I asked.

“It didn’t go too well but then there’s nothing new under the sun,” she said scornfully.

“If this were so, we would’ve got married years ago,” I retorted in distress.

“I notice you’re more upset than I’d imagined.”

“I’ve been suffocating.”

“But we’re used to resisting opposition.”

“For how much longer?”

“Time isn’t important.”

“Whether we like it or not, time is important. I’ve also heavy responsibilities.”

“I too have responsibilities. We’re in exactly the same position,” she said firmly.

“I’ve got to admit I’m ruining your future.”

“And what about your future?”

“It’s different. A man can get married in his fifties.”

“For the first time, I sense that you feel defeated, Elwan,” she muttered, her face growing pale.

“Maybe it’s because I’ve been able to overcome my selfishness for the first time,” I said after some hesitation.

“My God, are you seriously considering…“ she cried, bewildered. She had hardly finished her sentence when I interrupted:

“I now free you from my bondage,” I said digging into my own wound.

“Elwan, I can’t stand hearing you say that,” she said with great emotion.

“Reconsider our position away from my insufferable presence.”

“I’m free and no one has any power over mc.”

“The matter has to be reconsidered.”

“It’s sound logic hut I doubt its soundness where true love is concerned,” she said gloomily.

“Careful, don’t start doubting me and don’t make matters worse, for love, too, has been sacrificed,” I said hastily and emotionally.

“You don’t have to make any sacrifice.”

“I’m only doing what I think is right.”

“Just say that you now feel I’m an obstacle in your way,” she said bitterly.

“God forgive you, Randa. I shan’t sit and defend myself.”

“I won’t have you make any sacrifice.”

“But I insist on it,” I said quite plainly.

We were divided by silence, a silence heavier than the approaching night. We both shrank within our shells. Despair was driving us far apart so that our being together seemed to have lost all meaning.

“There’s no point in my remaining here,” she grumped, standing up.

So I too rose, lifeless. We looked like two strangers, each heading for his own country. Only pain is stronger than love. I could just visualize the loneliness lurking there at the end of the road. We did not exchange a single word all the way hack. And no farewells as we parted inside the old building.

My parents were in their room and my grandfather was sitting all alone in front of the television. I sat next to him; he glanced my way furtively and expectantly.

“A film about a mad woman. I don’t like it,” he said finally, as though he were trying to escape from his own thoughts.

“Why do you sit and watch something you don’t like?” I asked.

“There’s a speech on the other channel.”

“Why don’t you switch it off then?”

“It’s better than nothing.”

“We broke off our engagement!” I said.

A look of gloom and frustration crept into his eyes.

“God help you in your predicament,” he muttered.

“We broke up and that’s it,” I said dryly.

“I feel guilty,” he added in a sad tone.

“You’re not responsible, Grandpa,” I answered coldly.