The Devil's Playground

three

WHEN I’M STRESSED OUT, I CLEAN. THESE LAST TWO months of relative peace had kept my stress level manageable, which meant my apartment was a pigsty. Worrying about what was going to happen with Brian was enough to galvanize me into action, so I got to work practically as soon as the door closed behind him.

I quickly lost myself in the familiar rhythm, my thoughts focused on nothing except the task at hand. Some people meditate; I scrub toilets. What can I say?

At around five, Brian called and told me his boss had suddenly ordered him back to work, so he’d have to take a rain check on dinner. My throat tightened with worry, though I tried not to show it. I gracefully accepted his apology and his offer of a rain check, then hung up the phone before I started to hyperventilate.

It was true that in Brian’s line of work, it wouldn’t be that unusual for his boss to call him out of the blue at any hour of the day or night. Certainly it had happened before. But with this afternoon’s discussion looming large in my mind, I couldn’t help wondering if this had been a convenient excuse, rather than a genuine need to work.

Just give him a little time, Lugh said, and I snarled softly.

“Easy for you to say when you’re the one who screwed me over in the first place!”

Of course, he didn’t answer. I resisted the urge to throw the phone across the room. There was no point in arguing with Lugh—his ability to rummage around in my head gives him an unfair advantage. But I was sick of cleaning house, and I didn’t think it would absorb my thoughts so effectively anymore. What I needed right now, I decided, was human contact. And what better human was there than someone who could understand exactly what Brian and I were going through?

Dominic Castello is the former host of the demon Saul, Raphael’s son. But what made him singularly perfect as a confidant under the circumstances was that his boyfriend, Adam, was still possessed, making their relationship into a really weird ménage à trois very similar to my own situation.

Among his other sterling qualities, Dominic is also a fantastic cook, and he’d finally taken the plunge and bought a restaurant. Actually, I’m pretty sure it was Adam who’d bought the restaurant, because Dominic didn’t have that kind of money, but Dominic was the official owner. The grand opening wasn’t for another week yet, but I knew Dom was in the process of training his staff right now, so I decided to take a gamble in hopes of combining a free meal with good company.

Dominic’s restaurant was within walking distance, but when I stepped outside, I almost wished I’d called a cab. The air was like a wet, stifling blanket, and I was drenched with sweat by the time I got to the restaurant.

A smile stretched my lips when I saw the newly installed sign over the front door. Apparently, the restaurant was going to be called “Dominic’s.” Simple, and to the point. And probably Adam’s idea, because Dom was way too modest to want to name the place after himself. A handwritten sign in the doorway said, “Opening soon,” but I could see shadows of movement behind the closed curtains.

I rapped on the door a couple of times, and eventually one of those shadows moved in my direction. The door opened, and a rail-thin Italian woman with discreetly graying hair gave me the once-over before saying, “We’re not open yet. The grand opening is in one week.”

She started closing the door before I had a chance to say anything, and I was momentarily flummoxed by her rudeness. If this was the kind of staff Dom was hiring, I had to wonder what he was thinking.

Luckily, Dominic emerged from the kitchen at that moment and saw me.

“Morgan!” he said, sounding delighted as he waved to me from across the room.

The bitch at the door pursed her lips in obvious disapproval, but she halted her effort to slam the door in my face. I wondered what her problem was, then reminded myself that many people her age found my outlandish appearance somewhat disconcerting. Aside from the multiple piercings in my ears and my conspicuously sexy wardrobe, I’m also a five-foot-nine redhead, so I tend to make an impression everywhere I go. She fingered a truly hideous crucifix that was tucked away under the collar of her white blouse, and for a moment I feared she was going to shove it in my face like I was a vampire.

Dominic said something to her in Italian, and she replied with something I suspected was less than complimentary. I don’t speak a word of Italian, but the sour expression on her face was a pretty good clue. She sniffed disdainfully, then spun on her heel and headed toward the kitchen without another word.

I gaped at Dom, who gave me a wry smile and a shrug.

“Sorry,” he said. “She’s my stepmother, and when she wanted to help out with the restaurant I didn’t have the heart to say no. But she’s, uh, rather conservative.” The smile turned into a hint of a grimace.

I knew next to nothing about Dom’s family, except that they were all Italian and Catholic, but I could certainly read between the lines well enough to guess they weren’t happy about his choices in life. They probably adhered to the theory that demons were the Spawn of Satan, and I bet they’d disapproved heartily of his decision to host one. I bet they weren’t too happy about him being gay, either, and they would probably expire of horror if they knew any of the details of his relationship with Adam, which involved S&M.

“Has she met Adam yet?” I asked, though I figured the answer was no or she’d either have run screaming or be buried in some secret grave. Adam isn’t one to suffer fools, and when he wants to be intimidating … Let’s just say no sane person would mess with him.

Dom shrugged. “So far, I’ve been able to keep them apart. She knows I live with Adam, but I think she’s convinced herself that we’re just roommates. I’ve told her the truth, but she’s developed a case of selective hearing.”

Better and better. Sometimes I seriously wondered if love was worth all the trouble it caused.

Dom ushered me into the restaurant, closing and locking the door behind us. I hadn’t seen the place since he’d first bought it, and I gave a soft whistle of appreciation for the changes. It had been an Italian restaurant even before Dom had bought it, but the previous owners had had delusions of grandeur and had gone out of their way to make the place look like Snob Central, with everything cold and super formal.

Dom had transformed it into a warm, intimate space, retaining all the class while doing away with the formality. Tables for two lined the windows, while tables for four and six dotted the center of the room. There was even a long table that looked like it would seat about twelve tucked into a corner in the back.

“It’s gorgeous,” I told Dom, and smiled as he beamed in obvious pride. He is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and I was really hoping the restaurant would take off for him.

“Are you here just to sightsee?” he asked, “or would you mind being a test subject for my staff?”

I grinned. “Well, it would be a real hardship for me, but I guess I can spare a little time to help you out. That’s what friends are for, right?”

“Then let me show you to your table.”

He pulled a chair back from one of the tables by the window. Only Dominic can get away with holding a chair out for me and not get his head bitten off. I’m not big on the whole chivalry thing.

“Shouldn’t your hostess be taking care of this part of the job?” I couldn’t help teasing.

Dom darted a quick, surreptitious glance at the kitchen, then bent to whisper in my ear. “To tell you the truth, I suspect she won’t last until opening day. I can’t keep her and Adam apart much longer, and they’re destined to get along about as well as your average snake and mongoose.”

I grinned. “Sounds like you’ve got a really passive-aggressive plan to get rid of her.”

He gave me a “Who, me?” face while his eyes twinkled with humor. “I’ll send a server out with a menu. They just came back from the printer today.”

He started to head toward the kitchen, excited to show me the menu, but I grabbed his sleeve to stop him.

“Just to warn you,” I said, “I did come here with ulterior motives.”

“Other than wanting a free meal?”

I grinned. “Let’s say in addition to wanting a free meal.”

“Okay.”

“Can I chat with you for a while when you have a few spare minutes?”

He heaved a dramatic sigh. “What’s going on between you and Brian now?” he asked.

I think I blushed, though I supposed I should be used to being transparent by now. “Actually, it’s between me, Lugh, and Brian.”

His eyes widened. “Oh.” He picked up the napkin from my plate and shook it out, laying it over my lap as though I wasn’t capable of doing so myself. “Better order an appetizer and dessert. This might be a long conversation.”

I made vague grumbling noises at him, which he ignored completely. I’ve never been one to share my troubles with anyone, having pretended to be an island for as long as I can remember. But Dom is different. I’ve talked to him about things I’d never dreamed I could talk about. And though the idea still made me uncomfortable, I knew it was good for me.

“I’ll set things in motion in the kitchen,” he told me, “and then I’ll be right back.”

“Thanks,” I said, fighting my usual urge to flee from conversation.

A couple of minutes later, a waiter who obviously had an unhealthy love of hair gel emerged from the kitchen carrying a menu. I politely listened to his spiel while he told me which items on the menu were actually available tonight. Next Wednesday night they were going to have a special dinner service just for friends and family so that everyone got to practice before the grand opening, but tonight they only had a few basics available.

I couldn’t remember ever eating something Dom had cooked that was less than delicious, so I made some snap decisions and sent the waiter on his way.

I’d never considered Dom a control freak—and I’m an expert on the subject—but he remained ensconced in the kitchen until the waiter arrived with the bowl of minestrone I’d ordered. Dom took the seat across from me as the waiter laid a second bowl of soup in front of him. Dom cast a wistful glance at the kitchen door as the waiter retreated, and I had to smother a laugh.

“It’s just me, Dom,” I said as I inhaled the fragrant steam that wafted from my soup. “I promise I won’t be writing any scathing reviews.”

He laughed, and some of the tension eased from his shoulders. “I know, I know. I’m just getting a head start on being nervous for the grand opening.”

I tasted the soup and sighed in contentment. “Trust me, you have nothing to be nervous about.”

“Do you have any idea how many Italian restaurants there are in this city? Or how many restaurants of any kind fail in their first year? Adam’s sunk a lot of money into this place, and—” He cut himself off with a look of annoyance. “But never mind all that. You came here to talk about what’s going on with you and Brian. And Lugh.”

I was tempted to spend more time reassuring Dom about how great his restaurant would be, but I doubted it would do any good. Despite the confidence I had in him, I couldn’t blame him for being nervous. Only a successful grand opening could hope to calm his jitters.

The bowl of piping hot soup in front of me made it easier for me to tell Dominic all about this afternoon’s … complications with Brian and Lugh. No, I didn’t give him a play-by-play recounting, but I did tell him that Lugh “liked” Brian, and that he had made that known today.

By the time I’d finished talking, my entrée—a seafood risotto that looked so rich it was probably illegal in some states—arrived. I hadn’t finished the soup yet, and Dom scolded the waiter for serving the entrée too early. It was a gentle scolding, though, and I figured Dom was probably a really great boss.

I waited until the waiter was back in the kitchen before I resumed talking. This was not the kind of conversation I wanted strangers overhearing.

“So,” I asked in a conspiratorial whisper, “how do you deal with it? Knowing that there are two different people in Adam’s body? Do you just … I don’t know, pretend that the human Adam isn’t there?”

In a usual demonic possession, the demon has total control of its host’s body, but the host’s personality is still alive and kicking inside. Which meant that even though Adam’s human host couldn’t interact with the outside world, he was always there, just like Lugh was always there in me.

Dom looked thoughtful. “I think our situation is pretty different from yours. Adam … that is, Adam’s host … and I knew each other before we both volunteered to host, so I’ve known both the demon and the human. I think it’s easier for me to remember that they’re two separate people that way. And having been a host myself, I’ve always known how intimate the relationship is. Brian’s never really known Lugh, so while he might understand in theory that you and Lugh are different people, it might be hard for him to really absorb. At least not if Lugh isn’t shoving it in his face.”

I cocked my head at him. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t answer the question.” It wasn’t like Dom to be evasive. He was a hell of a lot more open and honest than I was.

His mouth tugged down in a hint of a frown. “I guess it’s because I don’t like the answer,” he said softly. “I suppose I do sometimes kind of forget about the human half of Adam. I know the two of them talk a lot and that they get along very well, but the human Adam never … talks to me, like Lugh talks to the rest of us.”

Except for the rare occasions when Lugh ended up in control, all other communication between him and his council came through me. I guess that made me something like Lugh’s mouthpiece, at least some of the time.

“If you were friends before you became hosts, why doesn’t Adam’s host talk to you?”

Dom thought about that for a moment before answering. “When I was hosting Saul, I never felt the need to communicate with anyone else. He was the only person I could interact with directly, and I guess it seemed like too much trouble to reach out to other people. Especially when Saul could give me everything I needed.” He shrugged. “It’s easier than you think to just kind of … let yourself fade into the background.”

I snorted softly. Easy for Dom, maybe. There was no way in hell it’d be easy for me. “So you think Adam’s host just kind of sits behind the scenes twiddling his thumbs and has no feelings one way or another about your relationship with Adam?”

Dom looked distinctly uncomfortable. “No, of course not. But it doesn’t do anyone any good to dwell on that.”

My temper is prickly at the best of times, and a low simmer started in my veins. “You think it’s best for Adam’s host if you and Adam don’t dwell on the fact that he’s there?”

My voice had risen only a little, but Dom’s stepmother peeked out from the kitchen anyway. I think she was hoping to have a front-row seat for my eviction from the restaurant, but even though Dom’s back was to the kitchen, he seemed to know she was there. He glared over his shoulder at her, reinforcing his message with words that I’m sure meant “Mind your own business” in Italian.

The little distraction gave me a moment to rein in my temper. “Sorry,” I said to Dom when he turned to face me again. “You know me—I get bitchy when I’m uncomfortable.”

Anger still flushed his cheeks, but he managed to smile. “And when you’re scared. And when you’re sick. And when—”

“I get the point,” I said, but I couldn’t help laughing a bit. It didn’t last long, though. “I guess the upshot of all this is that you and Adam haven’t really worked everything out into some neat agreement that I can try to emulate with Brian.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I think we are all comfortable with how things have worked out.”

“Yeah, and that’s why you started squirming when I brought it up.”

“No relationship is perfect. So yeah, sometimes I think it’s awkward that Adam’s host is there and it’s easier for me pretend he isn’t. But that’s just part of the territory when your lover is a demon. I’m not going to give Adam up just because he’s not alone in that body.”

I leaned back in my chair, unreasonably frustrated that Dom couldn’t solve my romantic difficulties with a few well-chosen words.

“Look,” Dom said, leaning forward to keep the same distance between us, “I can’t tell you how to work things out with Brian and Lugh. Your situation is different, after all.” He grinned. “Adam’s host isn’t putting the moves on me, and if the two of them have anything romantic or sexual going on between them, I don’t know about it and I don’t want to. Adam’s host has, for the most part, recused himself from his mortal life. Lugh is very much front and center, even though you’re usually in control of your body. You and Lugh are more separate from each other than Adam and his host are.”

“Yeah. I guess.” Now I was depressed enough that even the delicious food wasn’t enough to cheer me up. I pushed aside my half-eaten dinner and wondered if I wouldn’t have been better off staying home. This conversation reminded me there was a reason I didn’t usually share my troubles with anyone. I know some people find it helpful and comforting, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why. It never seems to solve anything. At least, not for me.

Dom glanced at the plate I’d set aside, and I was pretty sure he was about to either nag me to eat more or ask what was wrong with my dinner, but I was saved by a loud knock on the front door.

“Police! Open up!” Adam’s voice announced.

Dominic groaned softly. “Oh, shit. I don’t want to do this now.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from laughing. Dom looked comically chagrined, but he’d already said there was only so long he could keep his stepmother and Adam from meeting.

“At least I’m here to referee,” I said cheerfully as Adam banged on the door again—drawing the attention of the entire staff.

Dominic gave me a baleful look as he stood up and trudged toward the front door.

“Go back to work,” he instructed his staff, and most of them ducked back into the kitchen. Not his stepmother, though.

Adam looked like he had just come from work, though I bet he was the best-dressed cop in the entire Philly police department. He’d ditched his tie and unbuttoned the first couple buttons of his dress shirt, but his pinstriped trousers fit like they’d been custom-tailored, and the sport jacket he carried over one arm probably cost more than my entire wardrobe.

Damn, he looked good. But then, he always did. Demons tend to favor residing in attractive hosts, and when you paired that hunky host with a bad-boy demon, the result was basically sex on legs.

Adam invited himself in and draped his jacket over the hostess stand. Then, before Dominic could get a word in, Adam grabbed him, pulled him close, and planted a wet, showy kiss on his mouth. Dom tried to pull away, but if a demon has hold of you and doesn’t want to let go, you aren’t going anywhere. Dom’s stepmother put a hand to her chest as if she were about to have a heart attack. There was a bit of a gleam in Adam’s eyes as he gave her a visual once-over, and I realized that particularly exuberant display of affection had been for her benefit.

“Asshole,” Dominic muttered when his mouth was no longer occupied, giving Adam a halfhearted shove on the shoulder.

Adam made a clucking sound with his tongue. “Watch your language, or I’m going to have to teach you a lesson later.”

Dom’s face went beet red, and the glare he shot his lover was obviously genuine—and heartfelt.

“Don’t,” he said tightly. “Not here; not now.”

It’s not all that easy to make Dom angry, but there was no question he was pissed off right now. Obviously he’d mentioned to Adam that his stepmother might be a problem, and Adam had decided to stage a confrontation at his own convenience.

It never ceases to amaze me that Adam, whose name should be in the dictionary beside the word “hardass,” will actually back down to Dom, but I’d seen it happen on more than one occasion. Adam held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, and though he didn’t verbally apologize, the apology was in his body language and his facial expression.

The damage, however, was done. Dom’s stepmother—who I knew from her first few words to me was perfectly capable of speaking English—said something angry and accusatory-sounding in Italian. She was fingering her crucifix again. Dominic answered in kind, complete with expansive hand gestures. He was Italian by heritage only, but from the way he was talking and gesticulating now, I could almost convince myself he’d just flown in from Italy yesterday.

Dom’s stepmother whirled and slammed the kitchen doors open. Without a look at either Adam or me, Dominic ran to follow her. I couldn’t tell if he was following to continue their argument, or whether he was hoping to appease her. All I knew was he wasn’t happy.

“Nice work,” I said to Adam with a grimace of distaste.

He took that as an invitation to come join me at the table. “Dom’s been tap-dancing his way around this for two weeks,” he said as he grabbed my leftover risotto and pulled it to his side of the table. “I didn’t think putting it off was doing anyone any favors.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. I considered Adam to be something that at least bore a mild resemblance to a friend, but no one could ever accuse me of liking him.

“You should have left that up to Dom,” I said.

Adam shoved a fork full of cold risotto into his mouth and chewed vigorously before answering. “If I’d left it up to Dom, he’d have ended up being the bad guy in his wicked stepmother’s book. This way, I get to be the bad guy. It won’t make things go smoothly for him, but it might make the bumps in the road a little smaller.”

One of the reasons Adam so often rubs me the wrong way is that he does these totally obnoxious things, then manages to explain them away so that I end up feeling he’s right.

“Help yourself to my risotto,” I said, because I refused to acknowledge that he might have a point.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he said around another mouthful. “I wasn’t expecting to find you here,” he continued. “Anything wrong?”

I almost laughed. I might feel comfortable confiding in Dominic, but Adam was a very different story.

“Nothing I plan on sharing with you.”

“You cut me to the quick.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” But as I sat across from Adam, resentfully watching him polish off the last of my dinner, it occurred to me that there was something I should discuss with him.

“Shae paid me a visit today,” I said.

Adam’s jaw visibly tightened, but that didn’t stop him from scooping the last few grains of rice onto his fork and eating them. He and Shae had a history, and it wasn’t a very nice one. Since he was the Director of Special Forces, he’d had to deal with Shae in her role as informant on a regular basis. Shae had always resented him for it, and whenever she had a chance, she lashed out at him. I was almost surprised she hadn’t met with an unfortunate accident yet. But then Adam was one of the good guys, so he only murdered people if it was for a good cause, not just because they pissed him off.

Dom’s stepmother burst out of the kitchen, her head held high while her eyes gleamed with tears. She sneered at Adam, ignored me, then stomped out the front door. Dom had followed her out of the kitchen, but he stayed inside the restaurant, his head bowed so that I couldn’t see his face. I suddenly wanted to be anywhere but here. If Adam and Dom were about to have a lovers’ quarrel, I didn’t want a front-row seat.

“Well, I’d better get going,” I said, pushing my chair back from the table. It didn’t come off sounding like a smooth exit line, but I wasn’t a good enough actress to hide my spike of discomfort.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Adam said, grabbing me by my wrist. “First you need to tell me what Shae wanted with you.”

“Um …” I responded intelligently, my eyes fixed on Dominic. Tension screamed in his shoulders, reminding me again that I wanted out. “I’ll tell you all about it later.” I tried to pull my arm from Adam’s grip, but I wasn’t going anywhere unless he allowed it.

Adam followed my gaze to Dom and shook his head. “You can yell at me later,” he said to Dom. “We have all night for that.”

Dom finally raised his head, and the expression on his face wasn’t one of anger. I winced at the pain in his eyes. I knew what it was like to be scorned by my own family. Unfortunately, I didn’t know any words that would take the pain away.

“Fuck,” Adam muttered under his breath. He let go of my wrist, stood up, and gathered Dom into a hug. Dom didn’t return it, his arms held stiffly to his sides, his fists clenched. But I knew how much he loved Adam, and I knew the two of them would work it out.

Swallowing a lump of unreasonable envy that had gathered in my throat, I slipped away from the table and out the door. Neither Dom nor Adam seemed to notice me leaving. So I ended up leaving Dom’s restaurant feeling even worse than I had when I’d come in.

That’s what I got for trying to open up and talk about my problems.