The Etruscan

2.

When we were alone I stared at Arsinoe as at a stranger. Seeking the proper words with which to begin I impulsively spoke the wrong ones. “Aren’t you ashamed to step half naked into the presence of a strange man?”

“But you want me to dress simply,” she protested. “Hundreds of times you have said that you cannot satisfy my small wants and that within these few days I have plunged you into debt for years to come with my excessive demands. Could I have dressed more simply than this?”

As I opened my mouth to reply, she laid a restraining hand on my arm, bit her lip and said beseechingly, “No, Turms, don’t speak before you have considered your words well, for I can stand no more.”

“You can stand no more!” I cried in amazement.

“Precisely. Even the patience of a woman in love has its limits. During these days in Himera I have all too clearly realized that I cannot please you, try as I may. Ah, Turms, how could this have happened to us!”

She flung herself onto the bed, buried her face in her arms and began to weep. Each sob wrenched my heart so that at length I began to wonder whether I was not, after all, the cause of all her misdeeds. Then, remembering Dorieus’ averted gaze and Mikon’s guilty face, I forgot Dionysius. The blood rushed to my head and I raised my hand to strike her. But the hand remained aloft, for I suddenly noticed the tempting helplessness of her beautiful body as it quivered under the sheer fabric. The natural result was that, with her arms around my neck, I again experienced one of those moments when all else faded and I seemed to be resting on a cloud with Arsinoe.

Soon she roused herself and touched my damp forehead with cool fingers. “Why are you always so cruel to me, Turms, when I love you so madly?”

Nor did her face belie her words. She spoke in all sincerity. “How can you say that?” I reproached her. “Aren’t you ashamed to look at me with those clear eyes when I have just learned that you have been deceiving me with my two best friends.”

“That is not so,” she protested, but her glance evaded mine.

“If you really loved me-” I began and could go no farther, for anger and humiliation throttled the words.

Arsinoe grew serious and in an entirely different tone continued, “I am a vacillating person, I know. After all, I am a woman. Perhaps you cannot always be sure of me for I am not always sure of myself. The one thing of which you may be certain, now and forever, is that I love you and only you. Would I otherwise have abandoned my old life?”

She spoke with such sincerity that I felt her words to be true. My bitterness faded into regret. “Mikon’s words revealed-”

She pressed her soft palm against my lips. “Don’t go on. I admit it, but it was not to my liking. It was only for your sake that I consented, Turms. You yourself said that your life was in danger if it came out too soon that I was not Aura.”

“But Mikon said-” I began again.

“Of course,” she admitted. “But you must realize that a woman’s pride in such matters must also be considered. When I was compelled to yield for your sake I could not behave like a lowly Siculian girl.”

“Silence!” I begged. “How dare you boast? But what of Dorieus?”

“Naturally I talked to him,” Arsinoe conceded, “after Tanakil told me of his plans. He is a handsome man and would tempt any woman.

Perhaps he misinterpreted my interest, and it is not my fault that I am beautiful.”

“He, too!” I groaned and reached for my sword.

Arsinoe calmed me. “Nothing has happened. I explained to Dorieus that it could not. He asked my forgiveness and we agreed to be merely friends.” She stared into the distance thoughtfully. “You see, Turms, I may be of assistance to him in his political plans. He is not so stupid as to antagonize one who can help him.”

Hope and doubt struggled within me. “Do you swear that Dorieus has not touched you?”

“Touched me-touched me-stop repeating that! Perhaps he has touched me a little. But he does not tempt me as a man, that I will swear by any god’s name you wish.”

“Do you swear it by our love?”

“By our love,” she repeated after only a moment’s hesitation.

But I saw the doubt in her eyes and rose. “Good. I shall find out for myself.”

“Don’t!” she pleaded in alarm, then shrugged. “Or go if you wish, since you don’t believe me. It is best so. But I would not have expected such treatment from you, Turms.”

Her tearful, accusing eyes haunted me, but I had to learn the truth from Dorieus’ own lips. Only then would I be free of doubts. How-childish I was! As though my heart could ever be at peace for a single moment with Arsinoe.

I found Dorieus in the garden, lolling in the warm pool. The yellowish water smelled of sulphur and his strong body gleamed larger than life through it. To calm my mind I sat on the edge of the pool, dangling my feet in it.

“Dorieus,” I began, “remember the stadium at Delphi. Remember the sheep’s bones we tossed to divine the direction of our travels. Remember Corinth and the war in lonia. Surely our friendship is above all else. I will not be angry if you but tell the truth. In the name of our friendship, have you lain with Arsinoe?”

His glance wavered. Finally he said, “Well, once or twice. I meant no harm. Her enticements are irresistible.”

Dorieus’ honest confession proved him to be as childish as I in such matters although I did not realize it at the time. Cold shivers sped up my back. “Did you compel her to submit?”

“I, compel?” Dorieus stared at me in wonder. “In the name of Herakles, little do you know her! Haven’t I already explained that I could not withstand her?” Thus launched on his tale he was anxious to unburden himself. “Don’t tell Tanakil, I pray you. I would not want her to worry. You see, it was Arsinoe who started it all by admiring my muscles. She said that you were not much of a man compared to me.”

“Did she really?” I said in a hoarse voice.

“Yes. It seems that Tanakil had so boasted of my strength that Arsinoe grew envious. You yourself know what happens when she strokes a man’s loins a few times. In all honesty I could not think of friendship, honor or anything else. Shall I continue?”

“No. I understand.” But I did not. “Dorieus, why did she claim that you do not attract her?”

He burst into laughter and began flexing his muscles in the water. “Don’t I? Perhaps she said so out of pity, but you should have been there to see and hear for yourself.”

I rose so suddenly that I almost toppled into the pool. “So be it, Dorieus. I do not hate you for it nor will I brood over the matter. But don’t ever do it again.”

Eyes brimming with hot tears, I fled into the house. I knew then that I could no longer trust anyone, least of all Arsinoe. This bitter truth must come to each one of us sooner or later. It is as inescapable a part of life as ashen bread or a cold. Then a feeling of relief swept over me as I knew that I was under no obligation to Dorieus. Our friendship no longer bound me to him since he himself had violated that friendship.

When I returned to our room Arsinoe raised herself eagerly from the couch. “Well, Turms, have you spoken to Dorieus and are you not ashamed of your cruel suspicions?”

“How brazen can you be, Arsinoe? Dorieus confessed.”

“Confessed what?” she demanded.

“To having lain with you, as you well know.” I sank onto the couch in despair. “Why did you lie and falsely swear by our love? Never again will I be able to trust you, Arsinoe.”

She wound her arms around my neck. “But, Turms, what nonsense is this? Dorieus could not have confessed. Do you think that Spartan is trying to alienate us by sowing seeds of doubt in your mind? I can think of no other reason.”

Reluctantly I looked at her with hungry, hopeful eyes. She read my longing to believe, and hastened to explain. “Now I understand, Turms. Naturally I wounded his masculine pride in rejecting his advances and, knowing how credulous you are, he is retaliating by speaking falsely of me.”

“Don’t, Arsinoe,” I pleaded. “I am already heartsick unto death. Dorieus did not lie, for I know him better than you.”

She took my head between her palms. For a moment she studied me, then thrust me aside. “So be it. I no longer have the strength to fight for our love. All is at an end, Turms. Farewell. Tomorrow I shall return to Eryx.”

What could I have said? What could I have done but fling myself on the floor and beg forgiveness for my ugly suspicions? She was in my blood and I could not lose her. Again we climbed a dazzling cloud, and viewed from there everything on earth seemed insignificant, even lies and deception.