Micha
She looks beautiful in her dress, her hair all done up in braids and curls, her green eyes big as she stares at me, gripping onto my hands for dear life as we get out of the car. I try to stay calm but my hammering pulse makes it hard to breathe, not because I’m nervous but because I’m excited. I turn on “The Story,” by Brandi Carlile, so it’s quietly playing through the speakers and Ella smiles, remembering how it was playing at Dean and Caroline’s wedding when I told her that I wanted to marry her.
“You remembered the song,” she says.
“Of course I did,” I reply, extending my elbow to her. “It was an epic moment in our history.”
She loops her arm through mine and then we start to walk up to the aisle. By the time we make it up the snowy rose-covered path, with our friends and family staring at us, I feel so content and happy, knowing that in a few moments Ella will be mine forever and I’ll be hers. I think a few of them are a little bit surprised though to see this actually taking place, particularly Ethan and Lila, who are cuddled up together and who look a little bit shocked when we get out of the car. My mom, however, looks like she’s been pretty much waiting for this day. She nearly beams as she sits with Thomas, watching us with more happiness in her eyes than I’ve ever seen. Dean looks neutral, just how he always looks, and Caroline’s almost in tears. And Ella’s dad’s a little harder to read, but it almost looks like he’s about to tear up.
At the end, we stand under the canopy of the trees as the minister starts reading a marriage speech that I barely pay attention to. Snowflakes dot Ella’s hair and melt against her chest where the rose pendant rests just above her breasts, making her skin wet. She looks perfect and I seriously want to lick her right now, but I don’t think it would be appropriate, so I tell myself to keep cool until later tonight when I can do anything I want to her.
I basically zone out and focus on her until the minister announces for me to read my vows. Then I let go of Ella’s hand only to take out the folded-up piece of paper from my pocket, my fingers shaking as I unfold it.
Ella looks nervous, her breath increasing and causing more haze to surround her face as she waits to hear what I have to say, the truth about how I feel about her.
“I can’t think of a time where I didn’t want to be with you.” I glance back and forth between the paper and her as I speak. “From the moment you stepped out the door of your house, I thought you were beautiful and I wanted you in my life. I can’t say it was love at first sight since I was too young and I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe in finding the right person who makes everything easy, who makes me happy, who makes life worth living and more exciting, whether it’s kissing on swing sets,” I say and that gets her to smile, “racing cars, getting tattoos, sharing Popsicles and tears, or just sitting in my room singing while you draw. I couldn’t have done life without you and every single moment, good or bad, has been worth it because it got us right here to this very place and this very moment where I get to have you for the rest of my life. You make me happier than I can even begin to explain. I love you, Ella May, more than life itself, and I’ll continue to love you until I take my last breath—I’ll love you forever. You own my heart.” By the end, my voice is getting unsteady with the emotions flooding through me as I think about everything we’ve gone through to get to this place and that in a few moments she will be mine forever, the girl next door who I fell in love with and gave my heart to completely.
I suck in an uneven breath as I stuff the paper back in my pocket, knowing Ethan’s going to tease the shit out of me for acting so emotional, but at the moment I don’t care.
I keep my attention on Ella, watching her as she fights tears back and takes a piece of paper out of her jacket pocket.
She stares at it for an eternity, like she can’t find her voice, and her hands tremble. My heart constricts in my chest as I wait for her to say what I mean to her, worried she won’t be able to do it. But then, surprising me, she finally releases a deafening breath and the sound of her voice sends a rush of relief through me.
“You know when I first met you, you scared the shit out of me.” She pulls a “whoops” face and glances at the minister, who sighs because he knows us well enough to know this is just how we talk. Then she returns her focus to me and clears her throat. “You were so intense and determined to get to know me and I couldn’t understand why you would want to, for a lot of reasons, reasons that you know about because you know me better than anyone.” Her voice wobbles a little and she lets go of the paper and wipes her sweaty palm on her jacket. “But eventually you sort of wore on me.” Her lips quirk and it makes me grin. “You became my light in my dark life and you made me feel so loved that I’d forget how to breathe. You were the only one who could make me laugh, smile, have fun, not give up. You were always there for me and somehow, through the crazy, intense years, you fought your way into my soul and ended up becoming my everything. You became my lifeline, the one person I could rely on no matter what, whether I was upset or pushing you away—you were always there for me. And I love you for it and for the amazing person that you are, for writing me songs and tattooing them on your skin, for wearing a ridiculous O-ring on your finger,” she says, trying to smile but I can tell she’s getting overwhelmed by her emotions. “And for loving me enough not to let me give up, not matter how hard I fought.” A breath gradually eases from her lips as she stuffs the paper into her jacket pocket.
When she looks up at me, tears are forming in her eyes. She’s overwhelmed with emotion and I’m sure she can see the same emotion mirrored in my face. I’ve never seen her be so open like that and I think, if it’s even possible, I might have just fallen in love with her more.
It’s quiet for a moment as everyone just sort of watches us, and then Ethan lets out a loud cough and I shake my head as Ella rolls her eyes. Lila hisses something at him and then the quietness surrounds us again.
The minister finally continues on to the ring exchange, directing us what to do. I slip the simple silver wedding band on Ella’s finger and her breath falters as she looks down at it and smiles. Then she takes out her ring box and opens it up and it’s a silver one that almost matches the one I gave her, only it’s a little thicker. She replaces the O-ring with it, her hand shaking as she slips it over my finger.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the minister announces and suddenly everything’s official. She’s my wife and I’m her husband.
I hear someone in the crowd clap their hands as I lean in toward Ella to kiss her. She follows my lead, our lips magnetizing toward one another and we meet halfway. Underneath the trees’ branches blanketed with snow, our lips brush and our arms wrap around each other, finally getting to our wonderfully, imperfect, difficult, complex, yet beautiful and worth it ever after.