The Fiery Heart

CHAPTER 18 SYDNEY

IT TOOK TWO DAYS FOR THE ROADS to get cleared and for our transportation to be figured out. Both the Alchemists and the Moroi told us not to worry about the follow-up on the rental and that we’d just get a new one since we couldn’t wait out the time for a body repair. I told them I wouldn’t feel right about abandoning the original car, since it was my fault it was wrecked, so I managed to drag out our stay while the shop sorted out the many vehicles it had retrieved that night. We were invited back to Court, but I also fought against that, telling the Alchemists I felt better in a human-run inn. Naturally, they backed me.

Those two days were spent in a dream. Adrian and I might as well have been on our honeymoon. We saw Neil for breakfast, but he otherwise kept to himself in his room, leaving us to our own activities.

It wasn’t all sex. Just mostly.

Adrian teased me that I was making up for lost time. Maybe I was, but I didn’t think so because I honestly couldn’t imagine having done it with anyone before him. There was nothing to make up for. I also couldn’t imagine how one-night stands or any sort of emotionless sex worked. I knew people did it all the time, but it seemed like such a waste. With Adrian, every touch . . . every action between us . . . well, it was all enhanced by our love. How did people have sex without that? That was a question I had no interest in exploring.

Even when not having sex, we spent a lot of time in bed. I’d read or work on my laptop. He’d watch TV or sleep. He claimed I was exhausting, though he certainly never seemed to lack for energy during the act. As for me, I actually found sex invigorating. I was wired afterward. I felt like I could take on a hundred projects. I wanted to eat.

Reality finally called, however, and we had to return to our responsibilities in Palm Springs. Too many people needed us. Unlike that tension-filled flight to Pennsylvania, our trip home was filled with contentment. It was a six-hour afterglow. Adrian and I sat next to each other, burning with the bond between us, and even if we wanted to touch, we didn’t need to.

When we stepped outside the Palm Springs airport, warm desert air hit us, confirming once and for all that our winter paradise was gone. And within hours, I found myself slipping back into my former role. I was no longer the storm-tossed heroine lost in her lover’s arms. I was Sydney Sage, Alchemist and caretaker, and I was back in business.

Adrian had to go back to his place and find out what he’d missed at Carlton, leaving Neil and me to return to Amberwood. Neil was quiet in the taxi, and I was finally able to give him my full attention. During our snowy interlude, I’d been far too distracted by Adrian and had written off Neil’s solitude as some personality quirk. Now, I could tell there was something troubling him.

“Everything okay?”

He dragged his gaze from the window. “Yeah, just thinking about a lot of stuff.”

“Olive?”

“Sometimes.” He started to smile, but it faltered. “Among other things.”

A panicked thought hit me. “Do you feel okay? You’re not having any side effects?”

“No. I’ve just got a lot to think about.” This time he did smile. “Don’t worry. You’ve already got plenty to keep you busy.”

For a moment, I wondered if he knew about Adrian. Was that why he was so pensive? He didn’t know what to do about us? But no, that was my own selfishness. My romantic escapade with Adrian had been the biggest thing in my life back there, but Neil had barely known we were in the inn with him. He had his own concerns, and after everything he’d been through, I could understand.

The taxi stopped at his dorm first, and he started to get out of the car. “Sydney . . .” He hesitated. “I know you’ll have to catch up on whatever’s going on, but there is something I want to talk to you about alone if you get a chance. Doesn’t have to be today. Just soon.”

“Sure,” I said. “We’ll make it work.”

It wasn’t until I was on my way to my dorm that I realized he might very well want to discuss how I’d created a blazing inferno in a blizzard. I’d known even then that it was foolish and dangerous, but those things had been trumped by the prospect of us freezing to death.

“Sydney!”

Zoe ran into my arms when I entered our room. For a moment, I worried something had gone wrong, but then I saw her face was radiant. “Things were great while you were gone! I mean, I missed you, but there were no problems. I made all the arrangements for Clarence’s, and Eddie even let me drive. Like, not just in parking lots.”

I’d started to open my suitcase and let the lid fall back down. “He did what?”

“It was only on the back roads between the highway and Clarence’s, so there was no problem.”

“Police can be anywhere,” I protested. “Accidents can happen anywhere.” Didn’t I know it.

“Everything was fine,” she said. “He even said I did a really good job. That I was a pro.”

Maybe I should’ve been pleased she was getting friendly with a dhampir, but I couldn’t. “I can’t believe Eddie of all people would do that. It’s irresponsible.”

She nodded. “He said you’d say that and that I should tell you, ‘At least it wasn’t Angeline.’”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed at that. “That’s true. He does have limits.”

Seeing me relax perked her back up. “Speaking of Angeline . . . can you believe she’d never had praline ice cream? I showed them that place you and I went to, and it was so funny. We were all trying not to stare, but it was impossible not to when her eyes were so big. She had three bowls and probably would’ve gone for four if we didn’t have to get back for curfew.”

I stared at Zoe’s sparkling eyes in amazement, overjoyed to hear her talking about hanging out with Jill and the dhampirs like she would ordinary human friends.

“Sorry,” Zoe said, mistaking my silence. “I haven’t even let you talk. How was everything? Anything big happen?”

Yes, most definitely.

“We’re waiting to see how it goes,” I said, returning to unpacking. “They injected Olive’s blood into Neil and have high hopes it’ll protect him from becoming Strigoi.”

“That was very brave of him,” she admitted.

I looked up from a shirt. “Why, Zoe, I think you just said nice things about dhampirs twice in the last five minutes.”

“Don’t get any ideas.” But she was smiling. “But . . . yeah, maybe they aren’t that bad. I mean, they’re not us, but they aren’t so bad to be around. It actually makes things easier, not hating them.”

“It certainly does,” I agreed. A spot of hope blossomed in me. Living with Zoe and her harsh Alchemist attitudes had been agonizing this last month or so. But could I blame her? Hadn’t I been the same? It had taken me a long time to come around . . . could she? Maybe in time, she’d get over trying to impress our dad and realize Moroi and dhampirs were just ordinary people. It was a heady thought, that we could actually be like sisters again and share the same rebel Alchemist philosophy. Maybe Marcus would eventually break her tattoo.

I kept those thoughts to myself, knowing I couldn’t jump ahead of myself. But it was hard not to be hopeful later when we ate dinner with the others and I saw that she no longer looked like she wanted to jump up and run away. Everyone was in good spirits until Jill’s eyes focused on something behind me, and she sighed heavily. I turned and saw two girls hanging a sign for the Valentine’s Dance.

“I wish I could go,” she said mournfully.

“Me too,” said Angeline.

“Well, why don’t you?” I asked.

Jill gave Neil a sidelong look. He was off in his own world. “There’s no one to go with,” she said. Angeline nodded in agreement.

“I’m sure you can find someone.” I glanced at Zoe. “So could you.”

Her eyes widened. “What? A dance?”

“Sure. It’s what the rest of the world does. You should try it.”

“Would you try it?” she asked. “Seems frivolous in our line of work.”

“I have tried it.” For a few seconds, I couldn’t continue, as the memory of my one and only dance sucked me in. Adrian had shown up, drunk, and I’d ended up taking him back to his place, where we’d been caught in a blackout. “Sometimes frivolity isn’t a bad thing.”

Eddie, who didn’t seem put out about the dance, grinned. “Sydney, when we first met, I never would’ve thought those words could come out of your mouth. What happened to you?”

Everything, I thought.

I met his grin with one of my own. “We all need some fun. We should forget that dance and go out and see a movie that night. When was the last time we all did that?”

“I think the answer is ‘never,’” said Jill.

“Well, there we go. We’ll get tickets and bring Adrian along.” I gave Angeline a scrutinizing look she didn’t notice. “Maybe some other people too.” I was feeling a little guilty about having promised Trey to keep Angeline away from Neil, seeing as Neil himself was taking care of that. I felt I owed Trey more for being my test subject, and maybe bringing him along on a group movie outing would help speed along his “figuring things out” process.

Life soon fell into its normal rhythm. I resumed my pattern of quick visits to Adrian after school, though the level of what we did now had definitely been kicked up. I missed those long, languid stretches of time from the inn, but we certainly made the most of what we had. I continued “making up for lost time” and even went so far as to start reading sex how-to books. I felt nerdy until the day I earned an impressed “Where did you learn that, Sage?”

The new developments with Adrian gave me even more motivation to protect us, meaning I went out of my way to pacify Zoe. We still didn’t spend enough time together to make her happy, but I did other things she liked, like letting her drive the car once in a while. I also encouraged non-threatening activities with the rest of the gang and continued to watch as she grew more comfortable with them.

The only thing marring our relationship was the threat of our parents’ divorce. Zoe continued to assume I was on our dad’s side. Whatever uncertainty I’d possessed about the matter had vanished after that lunch/dinner with him. I intended to testify in favor of my mom, even though I knew that could have serious ramifications for the comfortable life I was carving out. The hearing was still a month away, and I did my best to keep reminding Zoe about how much our mom loved us and that she really wasn’t a bad person. I even once suggested that if the court granted joint custody, Zoe might truly be able to split her time between our parents, rather than be one hundred percent committed to Alchemist work, as my mom had feared. Zoe had momentarily brightened at that idea and then shook her head. “Dad wouldn’t like it,” she’d said. Her fear of him was too great.

One of the stranger things to happen to me was that I learned to use a tattooing apparatus. My triumph at returning with bona fide Alchemist ink had vanished when I realized I couldn’t have Wolfe tattoo Trey with it. Not only would it blow our cover story about tattoo removal, it would also mean Wolfe would witness the activation of the charm. So I got Ms. Terwilliger to convince Wolfe to leave the machine at her place, in case we needed him again. In the meantime, I looked up the model and read everything I could about how to use it. When I told Trey the news, he wasn’t thrilled.

“How am I scarier than a one-eyed man?” I demanded, when we met up at Ms. Terwilliger’s place.

“At least he’s been doing tattoos for years. How many have you done?”

“None,” I said. “But I bet I know more about it than he does.”

One thing I did feel bad about, though, was that, unlike the salt ink, the blood ink had color. It was going to leave a mark. Since my understanding was that the two tattoos had to be done pretty much on top of each other, I had to do this one on top of the one Wolfe had done—which was in turn over Trey’s Warrior sun. My hope was that I could just trace the sun’s lines, but I didn’t know how skilled my hands would be.

“If I mess it up, I’ll pay for you to get it redone,” I assured him.

That mollified him, but as he lay down on the workbench, I heard him grumble, “Remind me why I agreed to do this.”

“Because I’m keeping Angeline away from other people. Although . . . I don’t suppose you want to, uh, go to a movie with her on Valentine’s Day. With all of us, that is.”

He groaned. “I’m supposed to stay away from her.”

“Well, you don’t have to sit by her. And it’s not like you’ll be alone.”

“I’ll think about it,” he said reluctantly.

I didn’t know if this movie plan would result in anything. I didn’t have much practice at matchmaking, but Trey and Angeline obviously weren’t having success getting over each other. And it occurred to me that if they started going out again, surely he’d have to break his ties to the Warriors. Wouldn’t that be an accomplishment for the greater good? Or was I just complicating things?

Regardless, it was a problem for later. For now, my focus was on being an amateur tattooist—which I actually pulled off pretty well. I reinforced the sun design and didn’t stray from the lines too badly. Trey wanted to check it in a mirror, but before he could, I had to finish the spell. Earth compulsion charms could be time delayed, triggered by a certain event. Abe had put an urge to obey in the blood, but it didn’t have a specific focus. That was where I came in. Once the blood was delivered into the subject, the magic was unlocked and ready to be directed. Trey sat up, and I leaned forward, looking him in the eye.

In the Alchemist ritual, after the blood was delivered, a hierophant would give the new recruit a standard set of instructions: “Our words are your words, our goals are your goals, our beliefs are your beliefs.” I’d never thought much about those words. They had a ritualistic feel, and until recently, I hadn’t realized how literally the charm worked them into the person. After that, the hierophant would add, “Never shall you speak of the supernatural to those who aren’t part of it. You will guard its secrets.” That was about all the charm could handle. You couldn’t give infinite commands. The Moroi had enough hang-ups about compulsion that they’d give the blood only a low level of magic. Or, well, at least most Moroi would. Apparently, since some Alchemists were being programmed with stronger commands, there were Moroi willing to bend the rules and power up the blood.

I didn’t bother with any of that with Trey. All I needed to do was give him a command while the charm was active in the blood and ready to receive.

“You will not speak of your feelings for Angeline to anyone,” I told him sternly.

Trey met my gaze, and I saw his dark eyes start to glaze over in obeisance. My heart sank. I’d seen this in other Alchemists being tattooed. I’d experienced it myself. It was the compulsion taking hold. We’d failed. The magic was still able to work and—

He suddenly blinked rapidly, as though he were shaking off a dream. “Why not?” he asked.

“Why not what?”

“Why can’t I talk about Angeline?”

“Do you want to?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes.”

“You know, the other day at lunch, we were all talking about spring break plans, and she suddenly started going off about how meerkats aren’t cats at all and how zoologists should really rename them because it could cause a lot of trouble if someone took one home as a pet.” I eyed Trey carefully. “What do you think of that?”

His expression softened as a smile filled his face. “It cracks me up. No, I love it. I know this stuff sounds so crazy, but it’s just because everything is so new to her, you know? We take everything for granted, but when I’m with her, I see the world through new eyes. She makes my world better. It’s why she’s so great.” He suddenly snapped to attention. “Why do you have such a big grin on your face?”

“Because you’re talking about how you feel about Angeline.”

“So?” he asked suspiciously.

“I asked you not to.”

“You did?”

The door to the garage opened, and Adrian appeared. He’d had to stay on campus late and was only just now able to join us. “You still giving out tattoos, Sage? You up for my skeleton pirate?” He glanced between our faces. “What’s going on?”

I laughed and clasped my hands together in front of my chest. “It worked. The salt ink negated the other ink. It undid the compulsion! The human magic triumphed.”

Trey arched an eyebrow. “Do I really want to know the details here?”

I surprised him with a quick hug. “The details are that you just helped prove a major discovery. One that’s going to help a lot of people.”

He still looked understandably puzzled. “Just as long as you didn’t do any lasting damage.”

“You’re free and clear to go to the movie with us,” I said.

“We’re all friends, though,” said Trey quickly.

“Absolutely,” I said.

He had a shift soon and was able to talk to us only a little while longer. Once he was gone, I threw myself into Adrian’s arms and he spun me around.

“My brilliant girl,” he said. “You did it.”

I brushed my lips against his cheek. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Me? I’m not the one who conned her way into getting illicit ingredients, scored a test subject, and learned to use a tattoo machine in a week.”

“You were moral support,” I said. “The most important job of all. And now that I know it works, I’ve got to go make more ink for when Marcus shows up. Keep me company.”

Marcus had sent word to Adrian via Sabrina that he’d be in town next week. I’d been making extra ink whenever I could get a free moment and wasn’t going to waste this one. I had to give Marcus his best fighting chance. Ms. Terwilliger was working in her kitchen when we came back into the house. She waved and assured me I could use her workroom. Although she didn’t understand my project exactly, she had no problem sharing her space and letting me store things. Adrian had come by a number of times in the past, and like tonight, he sat near me and quietly did his own work while I did mine. It was warm and comfortable and almost normal.

“Isn’t it weird?” he said, glancing up as I measured salt. “All the variety that life offers? Here we sit, me reading expressions of creativity.” He held up the poetry book, which to my dismay, was now worn and dog-eared. “And you doing scientific and magical calculations. We’re thinking, cerebral beings one minute . . . and the next, completely given over to physical acts of passion. How do we do that? Back and forth, mind and body? How can creatures like us go from extreme to extreme?”

“Because that’s what we do,” I said, smiling. I was really glad the pills hadn’t muted philosopher Adrian. I loved listening to him go off on these flights of fancy. “And it’s not necessarily extreme. I mean, what we did yesterday at your place . . . well, maybe it was a ‘physical act of passion,’ but it was also very creative. Who says mind and body can’t work together?”

He unfolded himself from his chair and walked over to me. “Fair point. And if memory serves, it was my genius that came up with that.”

I set down my materials. “It was not. That was all me.”

“There’s only one way to settle this.” His arms encircled my waist, and he pressed me against the table. “We need to surpass that creativity. Are you thinking what I am?”

“That Ms. Terwilliger’s in the next room?” But my pulse had quickened at the feel of him against me, and I was already figuring out how to clear the table.

He pulled away and shut the workroom’s door. “She’s discreet,” he said. “And smart. She’ll knock first.”

I almost thought he was joking until he grabbed hold of me again and seated me on the table, wrapping my legs around him. Our lips met hungrily as his deft artist’s fingers began working at the buttons on my shirt. A sudden buzz from my regular cell phone startled me from the kissing.

“Don’t,” said Adrian, his eyes ablaze and breathing ragged.

“What if there’s a crisis at school?” I asked. “What if Angeline ‘accidentally’ stole one of the campus shuttle buses and drove it into the library?”

“Why would she do that?”

“Are you saying she wouldn’t?”

He sighed. “Go check it.”

I hopped off the table, clothes askew, and found the message was actually from Neil, of all people. We still need to talk. Can you meet tonight? Somewhere private? It’s important.

“Huh,” I said. I showed Adrian the message.

He was equally puzzled. “Do you know what it’s about?”

“No, he mentioned it when we first got back to town.” The heat between us was cooling, and I began buttoning my shirt back up. “What if it’s about me using magic?”

Adrian had grown serious. “No, I don’t think so. I could tell. He’s not going to talk about it to anyone.”

“I should find out, though. If something’s wrong . . . well, I’m the one who ultimately deals with it.” I knelt down to put my supplies away on the shelves Ms. Terwilliger had allotted to me. “This could be important. Besides, it is getting late.”

“You know what else is important? Your birthday in a few days. Are you going to get shore leave?”

I smiled as I straightened up. “I don’t know. Zoe’s going to want to do something with me. We might be able to manage a group outing you could go on.”

He put his arms around me. “Not good enough. I want you—just you—over at my place, where I’m going to cook you the most amazing dinner you’ve ever had by someone who can’t really cook. And then . . . we’re going to get in my car.”

I waited for him to elaborate on a destination. “And?”

He gently kissed the nape of my neck. “What do you think?”

I couldn’t help a small gasp of delight. “Oh, wow.”

“I know, right? I was racking my brain for the best present ever, and then I realized that nothing was going to rock your world more than you and me in your favorite place in the entire world.”

I swallowed. “I’m kind of embarrassed at how excited I am about that.” Never had I guessed my love of cars would play a role in my sex life. Eddie was right. Something had happened to me.

“It’s okay, Sage. We’ve all got our turn-ons.”

“You kind of ruined the surprise, though.”

“Nah. It’s part of the gift: you getting to think about it for the next three days. Figure it’s incentive for you to escape Zoe too.”

“Excellent incentive.”

We kissed goodbye, and I set up Neil’s meeting. The private place he wanted to meet was a cluster of trees near the library. They were technically off-limits, especially this time of night, but if we were caught, we could claim we were cutting through to the library. With my studious reputation, no one would question it.

Surprisingly, he was late, which didn’t seem in character. When he finally arrived, he looked chagrined. “Sorry. Angeline kept following me around, and I had a hard time shaking her.”

“She likes you, you know.” I didn’t feel bad pointing it out because he had to know. “Or, well, she likes the idea of you. She wants you as a theoretical rebound.”

“What in the world is that? Never mind.” He shook his head. “I don’t have time for anything like that.”

I wondered if he’d have time for something “like that” with Olive if she lived closer.

“So what’s going on?” I braced myself for some sort of interrogation about the magic. What came instead nearly knocked me over.

“I need you to help me go after a Strigoi.”

Silence fell between us for several strained moments. “You’re going to need to elaborate on that.”

Neil pointed at his arm, where the tattoo was. “Everyone’s so excited about this, but what does it mean? Is it worth anything? We’re never going to find out unless we test it with a Strigoi.”

I was aghast. I’d known that, of course, but proactively pursuing it wasn’t something I’d really expected to happen. “You want to be turned?”

“No, no. Of course not. Here’s the thing. I was looking through some guardian reports, and there have been sightings of Strigoi in this neighborhood in Los Angeles.”

I wasn’t surprised by that. There were always Strigoi in Los Angeles.

“One Strigoi, actually,” Neil continued. “I want to find him and lure him out before others go after him. They know his patterns enough now that it’s going to happen sooner or later. Usually, he just drinks and kills, but there’ve been reports that he sometimes turns victims. Either way, if we use me as bait, he’ll have to taste my blood, and we can find out what kind of reaction he has.”

It was one of those things that seemed so logical on the surface, I was almost on board. There were just a few flaws. “If the tattoo doesn’t work, you end up dead or Strigoi.”

“That’s where you come in,” he said excitedly. “That thing you did with the fire—”

“Neil—”

He held up his hand. “No, no. I’m not telling anyone. I’m not even going to ask you how you did it. But if you could hide somewhere nearby and make that fire again, you could incinerate him before he does anything to me.” A little of Neil’s enthusiasm dimmed. “And if he does manage to turn me, then you can kill us both.”

“Neil! Do you hear yourself? This is insane. You’re literally talking about suicide.”

His gaze met mine through the shadows. “Yes, and my life would be a small thing to give in order to obtain these answers. And that’s not melodrama. I know some of you—especially Adrian—think I’m ridiculous and over the top, but I swear, service to the Moroi is my highest goal. I want what’s best for our people. All we’re doing now is waiting . . . which is the same as doing nothing. If we could pull this off, it could be the breakthrough everyone keeps talking about.”

I had to look away. It was all crazy . . . but there was some sense to it. “I understand your point, but if you want to toy with Strigoi, go get it sanctioned by the guardians. Let them arrange something.”

“Do you think they’d let me do this?” I didn’t answer because I doubted they would. “Exactly. That was a lot of fire you summoned that night. Do you think you could engulf a Strigoi with it?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “But I’m really not comfortable being all that stands between you and damnation.”

“You won’t be.” Neil pointed behind me. “Right on time.”

I turned and saw a very puzzled-looking Eddie striding toward us. “Hey, I got your message,” he said. “What’s going on?”

Incredibly, Neil began the same sales pitch to Eddie about sacrificing for the greater good of the Moroi. Neil didn’t mention me and magic, but his offer to Eddie was the same, how there’d be need for someone to stop the Strigoi if things got out of hand. Actually, there was no “if,” I decided. “When” was a better word.

I think Eddie was even more shocked than I was. “No!”

“Eddie,” said Neil in a calm voice. “I know we have our differences, but the truth is, I respect you. I think you’re one of the greatest guardians I’ve ever met, and you’ve done more in your life so far than most seasoned guardians ever will. You and Sydney are the ideal team to have at my back. You have to understand how important this is. It’s true I’ve never fought a Strigoi, but I’ve seen them kill. When I was young.” His expression darkened. “I still dream about it, and if there’s even a tiny thing we can do to stop those monsters, we have to. Just think if we could prevent the conversion of more!”

Eddie wasn’t swayed, and there was a look on his face I’d never seen before. “I’m not denying the principles, but it’s too dangerous. And not just to you. I did something like this once . . .” A pain so intense that it tore at my heart crossed Eddie’s features. “Me and some friends. We thought we could take on Strigoi . . . and my best friend ended up dead. No matter how prepared you think you are, even against only one, the unexpected can happen. You and I may not be enough. Certainly Sydney isn’t—no offense. We’d need more to tip the odds in our favor.”

Neil suddenly looked at me expectantly. It took me a few seconds to realize what he wanted. “You said you wouldn’t tell!”

“I won’t,” he agreed. “But I thought you might want to. If you don’t, I’ll let it go. Do you think Eddie will betray you?”

Both of them were watching me intently, and I kind of wanted to smack Neil. He’d been true to his honor . . . in a loose sense. After hearing his speech twice, I was almost swayed by it. Maybe it was because I was high on the triumph of Trey’s tattoo working. How great would it be to accomplish another feat so many people were depending on? And if Eddie was involved, one Strigoi seemed feasible.

But it’d mean telling Eddie my secret, and too many already knew. The old saying came back to me: Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. The more this got out, the more trouble I was in.

And yet, as I looked into Eddie’s steady gaze, I was reminded of our friendship and all we’d been through. In a world of secrets and lies, there were few I could thoroughly trust anymore, but I knew then, without a doubt, that Eddie was one I could.

Taking a deep breath, hoping I wasn’t being a fool, I held out my hand. A nervous glance around confirmed we were alone, and I brought forth a spark of fire in my palm that soon grew into the size of a tennis ball.

Eddie leaned over and gasped, the orange flames reflecting off his face. “Maybe . . . maybe our odds have gotten better,” he said.