The Hanging Tree

twenty-seven

We took Mrs. B’s rowboat about fifty yards out from Mom’s beach. A Clorox bottle chained to an old sump pump on the lake bottom marked the spot. Our dive raft would float there once the water warmed up enough for me to paddle the thing out from shore.

My mother slowly stood between the bench seats in the bow of the boat.

“Careful, Bea,” Mrs. B said.

“I’m all right.”

Mom removed the lid from the tin containing Gracie’s ashes. Mrs. B and I watched as Mom stood waiting for the boat to drift around until it was pointing downwind. Streaks of lavender and pink glimmered on the water, mirroring the early evening clouds.

Mom lifted the tin. “This was Gracie’s favorite place,” she said. “That I have not forgotten.” She wanted to cry but she made herself smile. “May it give her peace for all eternity.”

“Amen,” Mrs. B said.

“Amen,” I said.

Mom shook the tin. The spring breeze floated Gracie over the lake. She disappeared on the silver ripples.

“Stay here,” Mom said. “I’ll make tea.”

I was pulling the boat up onto the damp sand. Mrs. B stood on a section of dock stacked on the beach, pulling her sweater close against the twilight chill. I dropped the bow rope and waited for Mom to go into the house.

“Darlene couldn’t make it?” I said.

Mrs. B kept her gaze on the lake. “She had to work.”

“Really?”

I didn’t mention that I had seen Darlene’s car outside Audrey’s, but the look on my face must have given me away.

“She’s going to need some time, Gussy. You’ll have to trust her.”

“Is the divorce going through?”

“Ask Jason. Now that he’s in jail, he has even more reasons to procrastinate.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“No. No, I’m sorry.”

“Cream? Sugar? Lemon?” my mother called out.

“Please be patient, son,” Mrs. B said.

I looked up at my mother. The wail of a loon came from somewhere out on the lake. I remembered I had to get the swing out of the garage that weekend.

“Nothing for me, Mom,” I said. “Got to get somewhere.”

I hugged Mrs. B as I left. “Tell Darl I said hi.”

“Of course.”

The violet stripes were fading in the western sky by the time I ascended to the highest branch that would bear my weight.

It wasn’t as high as Gracie had climbed all those years ago while her boyfriend gaped from below. But it would have to do.

From where I stood with my left arm hugging the trunk of the shoe tree, I could see all the way to Main Street. A light came on in Darlene’s apartment window. I watched it for a few seconds, then looked away, past town to the lakeshore. I turned and saw the steel frame of the rink bathed in the yellow glow of safety lights. I looked up into the tree, and I thought of Gracie perched up there as a girl, asking the sheriff’s deputy, “Didn’t you ever do anything for love?”

I reached into my coat pocket. I tied the shoes together and looped them over a bough as high over my head as I could reach: A high-top sneaker dyed again to a brilliant pink, and a white baby shoe laced with blue satin ribbon.