The Hiding Place

Chapter Forty-four

It took a few days to make the arrangements for the reburial and the new service. Janet welcomed the distraction of planning and organizing, choosing flowers and passages from the Bible. She tried to think about what Justin would have wanted if he had lived to be an adult, and for the first time since that day in the park twenty-five years ago, she couldn’t give in to the fantasy that her brother might still be alive. She couldn’t summon an image of him as an adult, a living, breathing person who walked out of the park rather than meeting his death that day in the woods. She had lost something-she knew that for sure. She wasn’t certain yet if she had gained anything better to take its place.

They gathered at the graveside at nine o’clock, an attempt to beat the pounding heat. Janet stood next to Ashleigh beneath the thick canvas of the cemetery tent. The casket was small and covered with a spray of flowers. Janet had picked the casket out with Ashleigh’s help. They’d opted for something classy and understated.

Janet took a moment and looked around. Madeline was there, standing on Janet’s left along with a few others from the office, including the dean. Detective Stynes stood on the opposite side of the casket, his sunglasses clipped to the pocket of his sport coat. His face looked solemn and rigid. A few other friends stood around in a loose circle, including Ashleigh’s friend Kevin, who seemed uncomfortable in his tie and button-down shirt. The police didn’t make news of the reburial public, hoping to keep the media and any other curiosity seekers away from the cemetery. Janet didn’t mind the tiny crowd. She felt that her family had been in the public eye enough over the past few days. She would be happy to have an intimate service.

But as she looked at the small gathering under the tent, she noticed who wasn’t there. Michael. She remembered the crazed look in his eye a few nights earlier at Ray Bower’s house, the violence he had committed against his own father. Would she ever see him again?

She had even called Rose’s house, taking a chance that Michael might still be around and willing to attend the service. But before Rose even spoke Janet knew the answer. Michael was gone.

“I know what he did to his dad,” Rose said. “He hasn’t come back here. I suspect…” Her voice trailed off. “Well, I guess I don’t know when I’ll hear from him again. That’s Michael.”

Janet reached up and wiped a droplet of sweat off the side of her face. A man from the funeral home, dressed in a dark suit despite the heat, whispered to Janet that it was probably time to start. She nodded.

The priest began the service. He began with a welcome prayer, something he read out of a small, worn missal. While he spoke and continued with what was meant to be a brief service, Ashleigh leaned in against Janet’s body. Janet reached out her right arm and pulled her daughter close, felt Ashleigh return the favor by placing her left arm around Janet’s waist.

When was the last time her daughter had done that? Janet wondered.

She looked down at Ashleigh, still six inches shorter than she was. From that angle, it was easy for Janet to feel that Ashleigh was a little kid, one who needed comforting and sought it from her mother. It felt like years since they’d stood that way. Years. Janet pulled her daughter even closer and gave her a gentle peck on the top of the head.

“It’s okay,” Janet whispered. “I’m okay.”

Ashleigh looked up, even managing a half smile despite the occasion. “I know, Mom,” she said. “I know.”