The Holy Road

Chapter XL

The young men were especially troubled. They had planned and dreamed and striven all their lives for opportunities to prove themselves, but the perplexing rush of events that culminated in the most recent council denied them the chance to live fully. If there were no buffalo, how could anyone hunt? Or feed a family? Or have a family? If there were no horses to steal, how could a man grow rich? How could a man win honors if there was no enemy to fight? How could any young warrior just starting out aspire to membership in the Hard Shields? How could Hard Shields exist? What could a man do on a “reservation” except watch the sun go up and down? The questions haunted every young man, and that agony was felt by Smiles A Lot.

When he stepped into his lodge and Hunting For Something asked him what had happened, he said nothing. His mind was being pressured from all sides with pros and cons. To be a Comanche was suddenly a strangely confusing thing.

He stood with his back to her working loose the braid that attached the black cascade of horsehair to his head. when he had returned the decoration to its place of safety in an occasional bag, he walked to the fire and sat down, but still he did not speak.

Sensing that he should not be pressed, Hunting For Something waited patiently for him to come to the fire. Normally, he sat across from her but tonight he sat beside her, as if offering himself, and she knew he was ready to talk.

"Tell me," she said softly.

Smiles A Lot told of the ultimatum Lawrie Tatum had brought to the village and related what Kicking Bird and Wind In His Hair had said in council.

"What will you do?" she asked.

"I am a Hard Shield. I will fight."

He had hoped she would embrace his decision but she said nothing.

He gazed at the bulge in her dress where the baby they had conceived was showing and stroked it lightly.

"Maybe you should go in," he whispered.

Hunting For Something shook her head.

“Are you sure?"

“Yes."

Taking her time, she stretched out on her side and laid her head in his lap while Smiles A Lot looked across the fire at the sleeping head —- his little brother.

"I am going to send Rabbit with Kicking Bird," he said.

“He won't go." she retorted.

Smiles A Lot didn't argue because he knew she was right. Rabbit could never be induced to leave.

"What did Grandfather say?" she asked.

"He is going to meet the Great White Father."

Hunting For Something raised her head.

"The Great White Father?"

"Yes."

“Where will he meet him?"

"In the place called Washington."

"When?"

"I think they are going tomorrow He says he will die when he returns home."

Hunting For Something didn't move, but her husband felt a tensing in the parts of her body that touched him.

"I must see him," she said, her voice suddenly a whisper.

Then she got up, and, because the nights were turning colder with the advent of fall, she pulled a robe over her shoulders and wrapped it around her reedy frame.

She started out of the lodge, then hesitated, and looked back at Smiles A Lot.

"I might stay with him tonight."